Q&A with Jushiro Ukitake
by xxLadyxLifexx
Summary: I've decided to make a Q&A on our friend Jushiro. He has been around the Soul Society for awhile, so he's bound to know a few secrets. Review and ask your questions!
1. Intro

Kasaimai Sumiko:Hi! This is your co-host Kasaimai Sumiko. You can just call me Mai.

Jushiro Ukitake: Hello. I am the other host Jushiro Ukitake.

Mai: Shiro-kun, you know why I decided to do a Q&A about you?

Jushiro:Not really, but I would like to know.

Mai:Because you are so darn sweet!

Jushiro:Thank you.... Mai-chan, I hope I am not being impolite by asking, but are you under the influence?

Mai:Hey I'll be the one asking the questions! And yes that is impolite.

Jushiro:I'll take that as a yes.

Mai:Thats not very nice. I'm going to cry.

Jushiro:No, don't cry! I'm sorry. *_hugs Mai_*

Mai:All better!

Jushiro:Don't you have to say something?

Mai:Yes. You like little kids, don't you?

Jushiro:No! I was talking about the rules and restrictions of the already odd story.

Mai:Oh. Well, this is an awkward moment.... Sorry about blowing your secret.

Jushiro:It wasn't a secret!

Mai:Good for you! You shouldn't let people's comments discourage you.

Jushiro:I do NOT like little children. Don't be scared young readers.

Mai:Yeah.. That didn't help Shiro-kun. Well there aren't really any rules. You, the reviewer of course, can send any dares, questions, or _cough_ gifts _cough_ you want. You can ask as many questions and dares you like. For every four reviews I'll make a new chapter.

Jushiro:Mai-chan! We can't take gifts from our lovely reviewers. It is very rude.

Mai:Shiro-kun, it is rude to refuse gifts! I'm sure they don't mind anyway.

Jushiro:You don't have to send gifts.

Mai:Not to him anyway. What about you? You give out stuff all the time. _*shows flashbacks of him givng out candy, toys, and badges* _Hey I didn't know you were a gym leader. What's your badge? I bet my pokemon can beat yours up!

Jushiro: Mai-chan, I'm not a gym leader. That was Ichigo's substitute Shinigami badge.

Mai:Go Infernape! Use flame wheel.

Jushiro:Ahhh!

Mai:Are you okay?

ushiro:*on the floor, smoking*No!

Mai:J.J., turn on the healing barrier.

J.J.:On it, sis.

Mai:Don't remind me we are related.

Jushiro:I'm okay now. That's weird.

Mai:Good because I'm going to ask and dare you!

Jushiro:Oh no. The evil look has returned! Save me.

Mai:No, I payed for you. You even signed a contract.

Jushiro:Who would want to sell me?

Mai:Your best friend. Is Toushiro your son?

Jushiro:No.

Mai:Are you sure?

Jushiro:Yes!

Mai:The only way you could now is that if you were a virgin. We'll save that question for later though.

Jushiro:Phew.

Mai:Strip for the women Shinigami association and Byakuya. Make sure he is in the front row.

Jushiro:But-but I can't do that! It will ruin my rep-

Mai:Contract.

Jushiro:Fine.*_goes to do dare_*

J.J.:Would you like me to record it?

Mai:I don't know. You are kind of too young to see that. Yeah go record it.

J.J.:I was hoping you would for once be a good big sister, but you failed. *_goes to record_*

Mai:Now this is uncomfortable. *_stares at the audience_*

Jushiro:*_walks through door_*

J.J.:*_walks in*_

Audience:Jushiro! Ahhh! We love you! *_clap their hands off_*

Mai:Then you are going to just die for this. *_puts video on the big screen. It shows Jushiro stripping and Byakuya joining him_*

J.J.:I made him strip too.

Mai:You are the best kid brother/demon ever! I love you!

J.J.:Does that mean I can stay?

Mai:Hell yeah!

Jushiro:Can I put my clothes back on?

Mai:It's 'may I'. No.

Shiro:May we end the Q&A now then?

Mai:Yes. Bye, thank you for reading. Don't forget to review and send in your questions and dares!

Jushiro:Good bye. Please be gentle.

Mai:You sound like they are going to rape you, which is totally acceptable.

Jushiro:Why?!

Mai:Why not? You're handsome! Take rape as a compliment if it's by the awesome reviewers out there. We really have to go, I have to rape Byakuya. Bye!

J.J.:Bye.

Jushiro:Please don't rape me.

Mai:Go for it. I know I will be.


	2. Getting Started

Mai:Hello, welcome back to our Q&A.

J.J.:Our? Its Jushiro's

Mai:Who asked you?

J.J.:Well it says it on the title.

Mai:Where is he anyway? He has questions to answer.

Jushiro:I am right here Mai-chan.

Mai:Hey Shiro-kun. When did you get here?

Jushiro:I never left. The fangirls are out there waiting for me because you told them they could rape me!

Mai: Yeah, sorry about that. I was in the moment. Well anyway they've got a few questions for you. First up **Animefan0410:**

**I love these Q&A stuff, it's always such a laugh. You did say we could dareor ask Jushiro something, and I have a question for him.**

****

You definitely are a fatherly type person so why is it that you don't have a kid? Are you not lucky with the ladies, like playing the field to much, can't find that special personto have a kid with,or are you just not fishing around because you're still a basically 30 or possibly 40yr old virgin?

**(couldn't resist that question, I've always wondered. Can't wait to see what kind of answer you think of lol)**

Mai:Yes I did say you can ask or dare him anything. Thanks for being the very first reviewer!

Jushiro:Have a mountain of candy! *_give you a chocolate mountain with all sorts of candy_*

Mai:Get to the questions, Jushiro.

Jushiro:Yes. I love children, not in that way Mai. I guess I just haven't found the right girl and even if I did I wouldn't want to be with her because I could succumb to my disease at any time or be killed in a fight. It would break her heart. But yes, I yearn for a child of my own.

Mai:You are so sweet! To the next question.

Jushiro:Honestly I don't consider myself lucky with the ladies, but they do seem to like me. I am not a player, I don't like playing with girls' hearts. I still haven't found the right girl to be with and you know, make babies.

Mai:Looks like we got the question. Hahaha.

Jushiro:I think I'm still a virgin. There was that one party Shunsui and Mai-chan dragged me to. I don't remember much about that night.

Mai:No you are a virgin. You were such a gentleman, even when you are drunk.

Jushiro:I am not embarrassed about being a 300 year old virgin.

Mai:He or she said 30. 300 is just so bad. Fail!

Jushiro:Stick and stones make break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

Mai:Sex will. You should all wait, at least until high school to do it, if you aren't waiting until marriage.

Jushiro:You know people that have already done _that_ so young!

Mai:Yup. Not even in high school yet.

Jushiro:Well... our next guest is **LilyGirl101:**

**ROFLMAO. Oh my god, that is great...I wish I could come up with questions...ooh, dare him to go to the highest tower and sing "Down with the Sickness" at the top of his lungs, naked, while waving a Japanese flag!**

Mai:Wow this girl is good! And thank you!

Jushiro:Mai-chan....

Mai:Nope you still have to do the dare. I think you enjoy having your clothes off. I know I do.

Jushiro:Alright. *_takes off clothes, finds tower, and waves the Japanese flag_*  
(Can you feel that?)  
(Oh shit)  
Ooh ah ah ah ah!  
Ooh ah ah ah ah!  
Drowning deep in my sea of loathing  
Broken your servant I kneel  
(Will you give in to me?)  
It seems what's left of my human side  
Is slowly changing ... in me  
(Will you give in to me?)

Looking at my own reflection  
When suddenly it changes  
Violently it changes  
Oh no, There is no turning back now  
You've woken up the demon ... in me

Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me  
Get up, come on get down with the sickness  
You mother get up  
Come on get down with the sickness  
You fucker get up  
Come on get down with the sickness  
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me

I can see inside you, the sickness is rising  
Don't try to deny what you feel  
(Will you give in to me?)  
It seems that all that was good has died  
And is decaying in me  
(Will you give in to me?)

It seems you're having some trouble  
In dealing with these changes  
Living with these changes  
Oh no, the world is a scary place  
Now that you've woken up the demon ... in me....

J.J.:Mai, can we go back? I can see his peanut.

Mai:*_takes multiple pictures_* Nobody is telling you to watch. Go sexy! Here Lily*_hands her photos_*

Jushiro:*_jumps down and puts on clothes_* That was degrading.

Mai:Omg. You sang that so.... innocently I want to say but thats not right. Oh whatever. The point is that you killed it.

Jushiro:Why me?

Mai:Because we wanted to see a naked man and there are no others at the moment.

J.J.:I'm a man.

Mai:No. You are a little five year old. The only person that would have enjoyed seeing you would be Shiro-kun.

Jushiro:No I wouldn't have!

Mai:Oh you like little girls then.

Jushiro:No! I don't like children in that way. Can we get to the others? I think I'm actually going to hurt you.

Mai:But Shiro-kun, don't you love me as a sister or daughter.

Jushiro:Of course I do, Mai-chan, but you aggravate me very badly at times.

Mai:I know. It's a hobby. Next is **pinkfire101:**

**I have a Qusetion. Okay can i get a drum roll? Are you really Tōshirō father?? And to xxbleedinglovexx keep up the good work! ^__^**

J.J.:*_brings out his drums_*

Mai:You can stop now.

J.J.:*_ignores Mai_*

Mai:J.J.! *_smacks him*_

Jushiro:I am not Toshiro's father.

Mai:We aren't so sure about that. The results haven't come.

Jushiro:How can I have a child if I have never had sex before!?

Mai:I need money! That lady wanted the 'perfect' kid.

Jushiro:Kasaimai Sumiko!

Mai:*_runs away_* Shiro-kun! I kind of this enticing.

Jushiro:*_chases and catches Mai_* How could you? *_drags Mai into a closet_*

Mai:J.J. help!

J.J.:No! I finally got the show to myself. You two need couple counseling anyway.

Mai:We aren't dating!

Jushiro:*_locks door_*

J.J.:I wonder what they are doing. It's been 30 minutes.

Mai:*_comes out shaking_*

Jushiro:_*looks better than before_* I need to do that and I'm not-

J.J.:Look Mai, you got a request/compliment!

Mai:_*reads* _Thank you! In exchange for your compliment I will give you advice. Never make Jushiro mad. He will do bad things to you in a closet. You can't even imagine.

Jushiro:I would have thought you would enjoy it.

Mai:We are not to discuss this ever again. Oh Byakuya forgive me!

Jushiro:He isn't here. He is with Rukia. He is giving her the _talk_.

Mai:You mean the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees.

Jushiro:Yup.

Mai:I have to see that. Since you guys were so nice, I'm going to demean myself and dance around a sombero.*_throws hat and the floor and dances_* Dada dada dadada dadadadadada da. Dada dada.

Jushiro:Alright Speedy Gonzales. Thats enough.

Mai:You racist! Got something against Salvadorians?

Jushiro:Speedy Gonzales is Mexican, though.

Mai:I'm Mexican too! Next time we will have Byakuya, Rukia, and Ichigo.

Jushiro:Mai-chan! They are in a feud! That would tear them apart.

Mai:Genius. I know.

J.J.:Messed up. You know the captain will kill him.

Mai:No! Of course not! Our Q&A is about bringing people together and breaking Jushiro sanity apart.

Jushiro:Bye. Review and send in your questions or dares to anyone of us. Even to our guests Byakuya Kuchiki, Rukia Kuchiki, and Ichigo Kurosaki.

Mai:Feel free to ask J.J. or me anything too. I'm crazy and dumb enough to do anything your guys can think of.

J.J.:With that said, bye bye.


	3. Chappy!

Mai:Hi my awesome readers and welcome to another chapter of of Q&A with Jushiro Ukitake!

Jushiro:Thats me! *_points at himself eagerly_*

J.J.:No. Me! You are so stupid!

Jushiro:*_gets all sad with puppy dog eyes_* What?

Rukia and Mai:Back off you little thing!

Mai:Why hello Rukia and Ichigo. Oh my God Byakuya! *_faints_*

Byakuya:Does that happen often?

All:Nope.

Mai:Hi!

Byakuya:Let me guess, you love me.

Mai:Love is such a strong word. I like you... admire you at the most.

Byakuya:Thank you...... Oh my God is that the evil child that made me take my clothes off?!

J.J.:Mwhahaha. First up is **LilyGirl101:**

***takes the photos, grinning like an idiot* Thanks so much! Wow, I didn't expect you to actually do that!! This was even funnier than the first time! I like the closet part. :-P  
Tell Jushiro thanks for so gracefully accepting my dare! Tell him he deserves some treats or something...  
OK, next...hm...oh, ask him if he's **! That would explain the no children part...oh, no, wait, he's a virgin...oh well! Ask him anyway! Thanks!**

Mai:You are welcome for the photos. I am selling copies for others for 5 dollars. Why wouldn't we do your dares? We are obligated to.

Ichigo:What's that about a closet?

Mai:No closet! I'll be a good girl!

Rukia:Nobody's going to make you go to the closet!*_strokes Mai's hair and comforts her_*

Jushiro:You liked it Mai-chan. You are welcome for the dare. She would have made do it anyway. She owns me now.

Mai:Yup, you weren't cheap either! Here Shiro-kun. *_pets him like a bunny_* Here are treats! From Lilygirl with love!

Byakuya: May I ask the question, Sumiko-san?

Mai:Yes.

Byakuya:So senpai are you....?

Jushiro:No! And I am not a virgin anymore.

Mai:Rape doesn't count.

Rukia:Captain....

Ichigo:Thats something I didn't need to know.

J.J.:What's rape?

Byakuya:Something desperate people do so they don't feel pathetic.

Mai:You learn something new everyday.

Jushiro: See, it wasn't rape!

Mai:It was. Rukia-chan, introduce the next.

Rukia:Alright. Next is **Animefan0410:**

**Since Rukia is going to be there, I definitely have a dare *smiles evily* I dare Ichigo, Byakuya, and Jushiro to dress up as chapi bunny and hop around. Just for you Rukia! XD**

Rukia:Chappy! Yay! My favwite wittle bunny!

Ichigo:Chappy? You want me to act like that stupid ass rabbit?!

Rukia:*_punches Ichigo_*

Mai:Bam! Right in the kisser.

Byakuya:I don't have to. She hasn't paid for me.

Mai:Please or I'll have to lock you in a room with J.J.

Byakuya:*_sweat drops*_I'll do anything you say. *_dresses up like Chappy and hops* _Hop I am a bunny. Hop. This is retard. Hop.

Ichigo:*_does the same_*

Jushiro:*_joins the so called 'men'_* Hop, hop, hop.

Mai:You are all so cute! _Ay que chulos!_

Jushiro:What?

Mai:That means, "Ah! You guys are so cute!" in Spanish. See we are educational! You just got a Spanish lesson.

Rukia:I'd never thought I'd see Nii-sama stoop to this level of behavior. It's so great! I've always dreamed to see Ichi in a Chappy suit.

Ichigo:Can we get out of these outfits?

Mai:Rukia-chan? This was for you.

Rukia:Yes. Ichigo, you are going to have to put that on later.

Ichigo:Anytime for you babe.

Byakuya:*_kicks him in the face_* Shut it, Kurosaki. You dingy boy.

Ichigo:You bastard.*_raises his fist_*

Mai:You don't even want to do that. You want to greet the next reviewer.

Ichigo:*_hypnotized_*I don't want to do that. I want to greet **The Moogle Shinigami:**

**Alright, Ukitake-taichou. A Japanese store just opened in my home town I get to go there soon and pick out a couple of sweets. Since you always have some sort of candies for Toushiro and so on, what do you recommend?**

Jushiro:I recommend Kasugai gummy and if you want something chocolaty, Bourbon-choco Zutsumi. I would want to try as many different kinds as I can if I were you and see which are your favorites.

Mai:Lucky! I wish they would open one in mine.

Jushiro:Next is **katizo terusei:**

**katizo: UKITAKE-KUN! *hugs*  
Charisei: Kat calm down  
Katizo yes ma'am  
Charisei: first Ukitake Katizo is obsessed with you can you give her a hug to shut her up?  
Katizo: Mai i dare you to call byakuya byaku-boo.  
Charisei: *pokes J.J.* Katizo the death poke won't kill him  
Katizo: Aww man it took forever to get u that power.  
Charisei: *lightbulb over head* be right back  
Katizo: *runs after* DON'T YOU DARE GO KILL GRIMMJOW!**

Jushiro:Of course I will hug you. *_grabs katizo and gives her a big hug_*

Mai:Don't rape her.

Jushiro:Why would I ever rape anybody?

All:.........

Mai:Byaku-boo!

Byakuya:I actually like you calling me that, Mai-chan.

Mai:*_faints_*

All:*_shocked* _Did you act affectionate?!

Byakuya:Yes. Is she going to do that all the time?

Jushiro:I hope she doesn't do that everytime you speak to her. We need her for stuff.....

Mai:No!

J.J.:*_is poked_* Hey! Watch where you're poking. I bruise like a banana.

Mai:Don't kill that smexy beast of an espada! No!

Byakuya:What about me?

J.J.:What about you? Jeez, all you people do is whine.

Ichigo:I think he's on his period.

J.J.:*_drags Ichigo into the closet_* Come here, you orange haired bitch.

Ichigo:Nooo!

Byakuya:So, Mai-chan, wanna go out some time?

Mai:Yes, I would like that very much. *_thinking"Hell yeah! Yes! Si! And any other way to say yes!"_*

Ichigo:*_shaking and sits next to Rukia_*

Rukia:*_cuddles Ichi_*

Byakuya:_*glares*_

Jushiro_:_What happened in there?

Mai:You should know. Its your special closet.

Jushiro:Then he isn't a virgin anymore.

Byakuya:Which reminds me, we never finished our little chat Rukia. Do you mind Mai-chan?

Mai:This is bound to be interesting.

Byakuya:Okay. When two people love each they get these urges*_takes out sketch pad_* They want to do this action to show their love. *_draws cloud shaped thing with thin arms and legs and a crappy chappy doing obscene things*_

Mai:Oh! Byaku-boo, thats a little too graphic. There is a child here.

Ichigo:He has to learn some time.

Byakuya:Shut up. You don't have the right to speak, ratty little boy.

Ichigo:Fuck you!

Byakuya:Fuck your whole family!

Ichigo:Guess what Mai's my cousin!

Mai:Awkward....

Byakuya:She must be the only good one in your family.

Jushiro:Before this gets worse, we are ending our Q&A. Bye.

Byakuya:Goodbye. I'll see you tomorrow, Mai-chan.

Rukia:Bye everyone. Chappy!

Ichigo:Stay away from the closet!

J.J.:Lates!

Mai: Next time it will be Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez, I want to make sure he isn't dead, and Ulquiorra Schiffer. No Chappies were harmed during this chapter. Well maybe the Chappy in Byakuya's drawing because it looked like it was borned with a defect and then hit by a car and then set on fire. Come up with some good questions and dares! This is all possible because if you. Damn it! Ichigo took my line!


	4. Eeek! An Emo mime and Concieted Kitty!

Mai:Hi! Today we are having Grimmjow Jeagerquez!*_puts on Sexy Bitch by Akon_* Damn you are smokin'. And Ulquiorra Schiffer!

Grimmjow:*_flexing his muscles_*

Ulquiorra:........

Jushiro:Hello. It's a pleasure to have you.

Grimmjow:Why the hell is a fuckin' Shinigami here?

Ulquiorra:Stupid trash. Look at the title. His name is right there.

J.J.:Oh my God! Its an emo clown mime! My worst nightmare.*_starts sobbing uncontrollably_* Why dear lord? Why would you make something so horrible?!*_runs out_*

Ulquiorra:Worthless child trash.

Jushiro:Is he going to be okay?

Mai:Probably not, but thats why emo-Ulqui's here. To scare him silly.

J.J.:_*comes in with ax*_ Die, bitchy emo mime clown, die!

Ulquiorra:*_Unconscious*_

Grimmjow:I like this kid.

Mai:Is this show like crawling with pedophiles? First up is **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: *in daze from hug*  
Charisei: sorry but we want ichigo, byakuya and ukitake to strip dance to blah blah blah by Ke$ha  
Katizo: *pushes J.J. out of room* this will be great *evil smile***

Mai:I guess I could call them over for a bit. *_whips out cell and calls them_* They will be here momentarily.

Jushiro:People like to see me shirtless.

Mai:Have you seen yourself? You have a six pack! Byakuya doesn't. *_pouts_* He's still my favorite though.

Byakuya:What is that you need us to do, Mai-chan?*_thinks:I need to workout more. I got competition.*_

Mai:Well... Charisei and Katizo want you, Ichi, and Shiro-kun to strip.

Ichigo:Strip? But Rukia will...

Rukia:Watch excitedly!

Mai:But Rukia-chan, Ichi's my cousin and Bya-kun is your brother. Thats not right.

Rukia:Then keep your eyes off my Ichigo.

Mai:You keep your eyes off my Byakuya!

Rukia:What gives you the right to claim him?

Mai:If you knew what happened on that date you would know why I can!*_puts on blah blah blah*_

J.J.:What the heck?!*_is pulled out_*

Mai:Thank you!

Ichigo:*_takes shirt off_*

Byakuya:*_takes pants off_

Jushiro:*_takes all his clothes off in record speed* _I've got experience with this now.

Mai:*_throws money at Byakuya and Jushiro and is recording_* Shake it!

Rukia:*_is tearing Ichi's underwear off_* Must have!

Mai:*_pushes Byakuya into the closet_* Come here, hon. *_comes out after a few minutes*_ Alright enough stripping! Get your clothes on.

Rukia, Charisei and Katizo:Awww! Why?

Mai:I got it on tape. Here you three. *_hands them tapes_* Knock yourselves out, you crazy kids.

Ichigo:If thats all, can I go? I don't want to stick around for the rest of the sick dares and weird questions.

Byakuya:I guess I will take my leave as well.

Rukia:Me too. See you, Mai-chan.

Mai:Bye guys.

Grimmjow:Get back here, Kurosaki!

Mai:Let it go, Grimmy-kitty.

Grimmjow:Stop fuckin' calling me that!

Mai:I don't think so. J.J., assistance please.

J.J.:Nope, he's my hero. I think I found a place scarier than the closet. Ahhh! Emo mime clown!*_hits Ulquiorra with a chair._*

Mai:I don't think he's going to wake up soon.

Grimmjow:Yes! Let me present the next person.

Mai:Sure.

Grimmjow:Say hi to **LilyGirl101:**

**AHH! This was great! Hm...hope Shiro-chan likes the treats! Oh, I know!  
Ask Jushiro: Can I call you Shiro-chan? (from me, not from you) Please?...  
Oh my gosh, he's just so adorable!! Oh I just wanna take him home!**

Mai:Thanks! I try my best.

Jushiro:I loved the treats. Thank you.

Mai:Shiro-kun, can LilyGirl call you Shiro-chan?

Jushiro:Yes, I would be delighted if you called me that, Lily-chan. If you don't mind.

Mai:Can I call you Lily-chan too? You can take him to your place after the Q&A. Please be sure to return him though!

Jushiro:She finds me adorable and wants to take me home?*_blushes scarlet red* _I'm okay with it.

Mai:That doesn't give you permission to rape her.

Jushiro:I will act like a gentleman as always.

Grimmjow:I'm being ignored! I'm gonna go emo like Ulquiorra.

Mai:Thats the extreme level! Oh no!

J.J.:Read our next review to cheer up. From **Animefan0410:**

**Funny as allways! I can't think of anything..And I have to say right now. I would dare Grimjow to do something weird and funny..But I'm to afraid he'd kill me O_O..Wait now I do have a question for Grimmjow..How come you got beaten by Ichigo? You are kick **..And yes I know he only won because he's the star of the show -_-**

Grimmjow:Smart move.

Mai:He wouldn't lay a hand on you guys or I'll drag him to the closet.

Grimmjow:I'm scared and I haven't even set a foot in there. As for your question, it was pure luck and I've gotten a little rusty! I barely got my arm back too.

Mai:I almost cried when I saw all those bastards hurting you!

Grimmjow:Only cuz he's the 'hero'. And I know I kick ass.

Mai:Conceited! I saw you staring at yourself in the mirror for twenty minutes.

Jushiro:Mai-chan, you must have a crush on him! I mean you are staring at him staring at himself. I'm telling Byakuya.

Mai:I'm gonna slit your throat! I just like looking at him anyway.

Grimmjow:Can you blame her? Look at this!*_points at his abs*_

Ulquiorra:Well that solves the mystery of why you picked such a revealing uniform, you slutty trash.

Mai:Are you guys seeing each other?

Grimmjow and Ulquiorra:NO!

Grimmjow:I don't roll that way.

Jushiro:I need a girlfriend.

All:.......

Mai:Okay. Since Ulqui didn't get any questions or dares, I'll ask a few. Are you L?

Ulquiorra:I might be. If I was I wouldn't tell you.

Mai:Closet!*_drags him to closet* _

Ulquiorra:I don't fear your closet.*_after two minutes*_ Ahhh! Ahh, Jesus! Lord Aizen! Someone help me!*_turns quiet. Mai drags him out._*

Mai:You were really desperate to get out! You were about to yell, 'Grimmjow, I'll suck your-

Ulquiorra:I don't recall that! Next question.

Mai:Kay. Do you cut yourself?

Ulquiorra:We share blades. Remember?

Mai:Oh yeah. Favorite song?

Ulquiorra:Purity by Lincoln Park.

Mai:Are you mad I'm taller than you?

Ulquiorra:No.

Mai:Closet?

Ulquiorra:Yes I am, but it's only by an inch!

Mai:Grimmjow, what's your favorite song?

Grimmjow:The Coolest, Lupe Fiasco cuz I'm the coolest.

All:Of course.

Mai:Con-cei-ted. Since Animefan wanted to dare you to do something weird and funny I'll do the best I can. Go to Aizen, bitch slap him and say 'Where's my money Superbitch?' Then dance like a chicken and say 'I'll do anything for a dollar! Anything....' all over the Hueco Mundo and the Seireitei. You have to do what they asked if they paid you.

Grimmjow:Damn it! I'll kill you.*_goes to do dare_*

Jushiro:Why didn't you make him take his clothes? If it were me you would!

Mai:Jushiro! Take your shirt off!

Jushiro:Why?

Mai:If I had dared him to do that I would sound like a pervert.

Grimmjow:I'm back.

Mai:Give my money, sexta bitch!

Grimmjow:Here! You know there are a lot of weirdos and pervs in the Soul Society. Especially the head captain. He wanted me to-

Mai:Too much info! TMI! Why do you have anger issues?

Grimmjow:We are in the same boat. We both go to those anger management courses.

Mai:Shut the fuck! What's your freaking problem? You want to make something out of this!

Grimmjow:You bet your ass I do!

J.J.:Stop yellin' I'm tryin' to watch my fuckin' Elmo!*_hits Ulquiorra while watching Elmo*_

Ulquiorra:Stop hitting me retarded trash!

Jushiro:You all need help!

Mai:You bet we do! We are ending our Q&A for now to get it! Next time, Kenpachi and Yachiru will be here! Jushiro, get your pale, frail ass to LilyGirl's!

Grimmjow:Stop fucking screaming in ear! I'm leaving!

Mai:What's your issue?!

J.J.:What's yours?!_*stabs Ulquiorra* _I have to launch an attack on Aizen with my gang Sesame Street Vatos! S.S.V foos!

Ulquiorra:Why is everyone yelling!? Why does this kid keep hurting me?! I have to write in my diary now!

Mai:Why is everyone ending their questions with '!' ?! I need a therapist! Send in your questions and dares to anyone of us and our guests Kenpachi Zaraki and Yachiru Kusajishi. Peace.


	5. Ah! Young 'love'

Mai:Welcome to the Q&A once again. Today we have Kenny-penny and Yachiru with us.

Ulquiorra:Kenny-penny?

Mai:Ulquiorra!? What are you still doing here?

Ulquiorra:I said I was going to write in my diary, not leave.

Mai:I think you may be the first person to actually want to stay. Leave.

Ulquiorra:Why should I trash? You should consider yourself lucky.

Mai:Whatever. Stay if you want.

Kenpachi:Why are we even here?

Yachiru:You were bored Ken-chan.

Kenpachi:Oh yeah. What did you do to Ukitake?

Mai:He's getting ready for Lily-chan. He's all exicted.

Kenpachi:Looks like your friend is first. **LilyGirl101:**

**AHH! Jushiro's coming to my house! EK! Oh, my gosh, he called me "Lily-chan"...oh my gosh...Sorry, having a TOTAL freakout right now! Oh, Jushiro, you're the greatest! It's no wonder you're my favorite!! OH MY GOSH HE'S JUST SO ADORABLE! EEK!! He's coming to my HOUSE! I have to clean up...and make dinner...and chase everyone else out...and get ready and everything...  
OK, I'm done (no I'm not) Yes, Mai-chan, you can call me "Lily-chan" too. I'll try my best to return him...:-p. Make no guarantees though!  
OK, ask Kenpachi if he ever screams out random names and commands at his zampakto while trying to bring it out. (this is the only question I am going to waste on someone who is clearly NOT Jushiro. There ya go! :-)  
Oh, my gosh, Jushiro's coming over to MY HOUSE! I get him all to myself for a night! YAY!**

Mai:Well Kenny-penny, do call out random names?

Kenpachi:I'm getting desperate okay! I need to get stronger.

Jushiro:*_bursts in_* Alright I'm ready to spend the night! Any advice for me?

Yachiru:Don't use to much cologne!

Kenpachi:Don't get lost.

Ulquiorra:Don't be to deep. It'll scare her away.

Mai:Don't rape her.

Jushiro:Got it, bye!*_leaves, slamming door_*

Mai:There goes my Shiro-kun. Out into the world.*_cries_*

Yachiru:I want candy.

Kenpachi:I want to kill someone.

Ulquiorra:I want to write about how much I hate you trash and the evil demon and I wish that it were only me and Aizen left in the world. Speaking of that, where is it?

Mai:Him, Elmo, and the rest of Sesame Street Vatos went to take down Aizen.

Ulquiorra:Not lord Aizen! I'm coming!*_sonidos out_*

Mai:I finally got rid of him. J.J. you can come out.

J.J.:Cool. Its gone.

Yachiru:He's so.......handsome! Ahhh! Next is **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo:*jumps excitedly* i'll be your girlfriend ukitake-kun  
Charisei: calm down. *hands Yachiru candy* your too sweet for any dares.  
Katizo: ya but on another note. KENPACHI MUST DO THE SOULJA BOY! and ukitake-kun has to do the caramelldansen.  
Charisei: at the same time you two  
both: *evil smile*  
Katizo: *hands out popcorn***

Mai:Uh-oh. He's not here! Great, I'll have to use my zanpakuto. Come on out! erm sword!

J.J.:It's Consume in darkness. Bend reality at my will, Kuraiki.

Mai:I knew that. Consume in darkness! Bend reality at my will, Kuraiki! _whoosh!_

Kenapachi:What was the point of releasing it?

Mai:Kuraiki can take me anywhere at anytime in a flash. I don't even need to know the direction. Be back.*_teleports to Ukitake, then teleports back with Jushiro*_

Jushiro:Hn? What do you need? I was having a great dinner!

Mai:You have someone who wants who to be your girlfriend.

Jushiro:Yay! I have two girlfriends!*_dances caramelldansen*_

Mai:Shiro-kun you can't have two-

Kenpachi:_*does Soulja Boy_*

Mai:Oh shit! Kenpachi can dance.

Everyone:*_receives popcorn*_

Mai:Yummy! What was I going to tell Shiro-kun?

Kenpachi:That you were going to fight me!

Mai:_*smacks him_* No, thats not it. Well he's gone anyway.

Grimmjow:But I'm back! And I'm staying.

Mai:Great.

J.J.:Master!

Grimmjow:Here's **Animefan0410:**

**I have to say, you have every right to be a bt conceeded (however you spell it) because you are awesome, and Ulquriorra is just jealous. I also have a question for Yachiru *gives a big bag of candy*, that's to make you answer truthfully. Does Kenpachi act fatherly towards you when nobody's around? Also, you rock Kenpachi, the day you ever somehow get bankai will be the day the world ends. In a good way..Everybody will be scared sh*tless of you lol**

Grimmjow:I know.

Mai:Ahem. Is there something you should say?

Grimmjow:Thank you. I only said it cuz this kid's cool. Are you a boy or a girl?

Mai:If you don't mind him asking.

Ulquiorra:I am not jealous of this piece of trash.

Mai:You are back!

Ulquiorra:Yes, you lying trash. They weren't attacking, but the teletubbies were! Damn that Winky is tough. He got me in the eye with his antenna.

Mai:Okay. Yachiru needs to answer her question.

Yachiru:*_gets bag of candy_* I'll answer very truthfully! Ken-chan is very nice when nobodies around! He reads me bed time stories and gives me candy and tells me 'I love you, Chiru.' and sings to me.

Kenpachi:Enough! He/she didn't ask for details!

Yachiru:But Ken-chan, if people don't see you are a good daddy they'll take me away.

Kenpachi:*_gets teary eyed*_ Shut it.

Mai:Be happy! Look at the rest of the review!

Kenpachi:Thanks. I will achieve bankai and I'll destroy every challenger who goes against me! I bet you are powerful.

J.J.:I want candy!

Yachiru:_*gives him candy_* Here! Have some!

Mai and Kenpachi:!?

Mai:She's sharing...

Ulquiorra:I think it's young 'love'.

Mai:Why is love in ' '?

Ulquiorra:I don't believe in love.

Mai:.....

Kenpachi:No! She can't have a boyfriend! Not my little girl.*_yanks Yachiru and shunpoes out*_

Mai:Kenny wait! Great its just me, Grimmjow, Uquiorra and J.J. now. I feel so lonely!

Grimmjow:How about we fill up that loneliness with a little frenchin'.

Mai:*_runs out_*

J.J.:It's just me, Master and evil emo mime clown. What should I do? I want alone time with him!

Grimmjow:I'm a little freaked out by that.*_opens garganta*_

Ulquiorra:Its me and _that._

J.J.:*_hits him with popcorn*_ I'm outta here! AHHHH!

Ulquiorra:Its only me again. Thank god! Tomorrow it will just be Grimmjow, J.J., Mai, and hopefully Ukitake returns. It's hard being the only sane one here. Be sure to review. Now where did I leave my x-acto blade.


	6. Standing in the Rain

Mai:S'up peoples! I like hot cheetos and hot guys.

Grimmjow:Well you're in luck cuz I'm hot.

Mai:But you don't have hot cheetos. Get outta here, sexta. Haha sex-ta.

Ulquiorra:Did you get high?

Mai:No. Only on Tuesdays. Just kidding.

J.J.:Master, would you like me to drug her for you?

Mai:......

Grimmjow:*considering it* No. I can get her on my own.

J.J.:Hai.

Mai:You two scare me big time.

Ulquiorra:Speaking of rape, where is the sick trash?

Mai:Why do you always say 'Speaking of.... then trash'?

Ulquiorra:I like saying it. Why are you always staring at our asses?

Mai:Because I like staring. What? Can't girls be pervy too?! Damn that therapy isn't working!

Ulquiorra:Calm. Breath. Our first today is **pinkfire 101:**

**Hey again!! I Just wanted to say Grimmjow you are my favorite bad guy!! Ulquriorra you are my 3rd favorite!! Okay I have a dare. Here it is Grimmjow & Ulqurirroa I dare you both to sing dangerous by akon.**

Grimmjow:I'm only as bad as you want me to be.

Mai:Grimmjow, are you trying to hit on her!

Grimmjow:Jealous?

Mai:Not really.

Ulquiorra:May we got on with this? I have things to do.

Mai:Doesn't seem like it since you always stay around here. *puts on dangerous on*

Ulquiorra:Girl, I can notice but to, notice you, noticing me  
From across the room I can see it and can't stop myself  
From looking and noticing you, noticing me  
Watch out, I've seen her type before

:That girl is so dangerous, that girl is so dangerous  
That girl is a bad girl, I've seen her type before  
She's so dangerous, that girl is so dangerous  
That girl is a bad girl, yeah

Grimmjow:Oh yeah, that's her  
The big dog tryin' to get her little kitty to purr  
Ex-man lookin' at me like I'm Lucifer  
'Cause he knows I will deal with the case, yes sir!

If I was the last man I earth  
I would only take that girl, end of search  
She give a new definition to the word 'curve'  
Got chicks in the strip club envying her

Body's like weapons of mass eruptions  
See the glad on that phat obstruction  
Tongue game give her new type of seduction  
I'm trying to give that girl something, cha!

Ulquiorra:Girl, I can notice but to, notice you, noticing me  
From across the room I can see it and can't stop myself  
From looking and noticing you, noticing me  
Watch out, I've seen her type before

That girl is so dangerous, that girl is so dangerous  
That girl is a bad girl, I've seen her type before  
She's so dangerous, that girl is so dangerous  
That girl is a bad girl, yeah

Grimmjow:Oh, bad to the bone  
Everything locked like a two three zone  
I wanted to make my black snake moan  
Talk a little bit then take that home

She bad and she know the deal  
That's what I can't hide when she want to conceal  
I mean, Meagan Good and Halle Berry  
Put together in close to the jubee I see

No no! No disrespect  
But this gyal a pon another level, cut the check, uh!  
Tell king, max stop the press  
Say kid, can I get a witness?

Ulquiorra:Girl, I can notice but to, notice you, noticing me  
From across the room I can see it and can't stop myself  
From looking and noticing you, noticing me  
Watch out, I've seen her type before

That girl is so dangerous, that girl is so dangerous  
That girl is a bad girl, I've seen her type before  
She's so dangerous, that girl is so dangerous  
That girl is a bad girl, yeah

I see you got that fire by the way that you walkin'  
From left to right I watched her go down  
Girl, I just want it right now, don't wanna do no talkin'  
Shorty's so right, I need to slow down

Grimmjow:Figure 8, good body shape  
When she on the dance floor, gyal I'm irate  
When she do her thing man can't walk straight  
That biscuit fi' soak up everything on ev'ery plate

Mad heels like Jessica P  
I'm tryna give homegirl sex and the cit-t-ty  
Itty-bitty waistline, moves with the baseline  
One lick of punch, I'm fine, cha!

Ulquiorra:Girl, I can notice but to, notice you, noticing me  
From across the room I can see it and can't stop myself  
From looking and noticing you, noticing me  
Watch out I've seen her type before

That girl is so dangerous, that girl is so dangerous  
That girl is a bad girl, I've seen her type before  
She's so dangerous, that girl is so dangerous  
That girl is a bad girl, yeah

Mai:Good job, boys.

Ulquiorra:Nm.

Grimmjow:I dedicate this song to you, that girl I saw on my way here the hot one Ulquiorra not the other one member, and pinkfire.

Ulquiorra:I dedicate it to the hot girl too.

Mai:and?

Ulquiorra:pinkfire.

Mai:Ulqui! You are mean!

Ulquiorra:Next is another one of Grimmjow's fans. **Animefan0410:**

**First of all, I am straight, and I'm a guy. And aww Kenpachi the awesome is gone. I was going to dare him to fight Ichigo..But since he's not here, I'll skip that and it won't happen, so don't bother : ) But I wouldn't mind seeing Starrk or Harribel (or both) in the show sometime..Can't think of any dares or questions**

Mai:Kenny will be back eventually. Oh. That would have been an awesome dare! Hmph. Stark and Harribel will be here next time!

Grimmjow:You mean lazy ass and hot blonde are coming.

Mai:I hope you mean Harribel when you say hot blonde and not Lilynette.

Grimmjow:Errr....Yeah of course I do.

Ulquiorra:Pedophile trash.

Mai:J.J. hasn't hit you. Thats odd.

J.J.:Master finds it annoying now. One day,*points at Ulquiorra* you and all clowns, mimes, and emos shall pay!

Mai:I'm emo!

Ulquiorra:Really? I couldn't tell, you junkie.

Mai:Lily-chan's here! Hooray! I'm going ignore that insult.

**LilyGirl101:Thanks so much, Zaki-chan (we all have our own names for him, don't we!) for answering my question! AnimeFan0401 is right! You do kick **!  
AHH! *runs over and hugs Shiro-chan* No, Katizo! He's MINE! You can't have him!  
To Chiru-chan: he didn't use too much, To Zaki-chan: He DID get lost, To Ul-chan: He didn't go too deep, and he didn't scare me away, and to Mai-chan, he didn't rape me! Hope that helps!  
And, Mai-chan, we were having a great dinner! *pout* You didn't have to steal him! And that was the most fun night of my entire life! And Mai, since YOU own him, it's YOU who owes me fifty dollars worth of bubble bath (don't ask). Oh, my gosh, he's the greatest!!**

Mai:Kenny-penny does kick some major ass.

Ulquiorra:The only reason he got some damn lucky was because of my advice!

Yachiru:*Pops out of the fridge* No mine! She would have choked to death as soon as she opened the door!

Kenpachi:*comes out of nowhere* No mine!

Mai:He got lost Kenny-penny. You are disqualified. Chiru-chan you are too young. Disqualified. Ulquiorra....you are too Ulquiorra. Disqualified!

Grimmjow:Mine's the best because I'm the best.

Mai:You weren't even here!

Grimmjow:Doesn't matter. Me. Best.

Mai:You. Retard. Oh, but Lily-chan! He went running back to you. He hasn't returned. As for the bubble bath, I am not going to ask...Here.*pays fifty dollars*

Kenpachi:Zaki-chan? Well it isn't as bad as Kenny-penny. Next is **HanakoAnimeaddict:**

**You had to make fun if the idiot who is most like me! Not that I care.  
Grimmjow, if you were a girl, who would you be with that is in the Espadas? If ulqui decides to come, make him sing Stand in the Rain by Superchick. If Ulquiorra isn't there, give it to the kitty! There is one last dare for the Sexta. Go in the closet with the Cuatro for an hour. No backing out!**

Mai:Well you are gonna have to be specific about who. We are always making fun of each other.

Grimmjow:If I were a girl huh? I guess Nnoitra. Because he looks like he would be rough. I like it rough.

Mai:Is that why you like my abuse?

Grimmjow:Yes.

Ulquiorra:She never slows down  
She doesn't know why but  
she knows that when  
She's all alone feels  
Like it's all coming down  
She won't turn around  
The shadows are long  
And she fears if she cries  
That first tear  
The tears will not stop  
Raining down

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain

She won't make a sound  
Alone in this fight with herself  
And the fears whispering  
If she stands, she'll fall down  
She wants to be found  
The only way out is through  
everything she's running from  
Wants to give up and lie down

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
Stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found

So stand in the rain  
Stand your ground  
Stand up when it's all crashing down  
You stand through the pain  
You won't drown  
And one day what's lost can be found  
You stand in the rain *starts to cry* I'm sorry. This song always gets to me.

Mai:Whatever. Get into the closet.

Ulquiorra:May I torture him?

Mai:Go for it. You have an hour to.

Ulquiorra:*drags Grimmjow by hair*

Grimmjow:Ahhhh! No not that! Please!*goes on for an hour and runs out the closet into Mai's arms*

Mai:Here kitty kitty. Es okay! *whispers* Here is **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo:*pets grimmjow like a kitty* i knew charisei wouldn't kill you**  
**Charisei: because you took the ** power away**  
**Katizo: Mai-chan i wanna see you yell and call ulquiorra a chupacabra.**  
**Charisei: that is all**

Mai:*throws distressed Grimmjow at Katizo*

Grimmjow:*purrs* Pet a little lower baby. Of course she can't kill me. Grimmjow fucking Jeagerjaquez! The fucking sexta.

Mai:Idiotic cat.*hits Grimmjow* Be respectful.

Grimmjow:*mocks Mai in a high voice* Be respectful.

Mai*drags him to closet*

Kenpachi:I hope she took him to the torture closet and not the rape closet.

Ulquiorra:How would you know which is which, Captain Can't Find My Way To The Bathroom And Pees In Ulquiorra's Dresser!

Kenpachi:I was going to pee myself!

Mai:What!? She wants me to yell!? OK? Does this count?! AHHHH!*points at Ulquiorra* Chupacapra! Aw I kidding. *pets and hugs him* I lub chuuu!

Grimmjow:Why are you so nice to him?

Mai:He's not conceited. And he reminds me of Byakuya.

Kenpachi:Shut up about Byakuya.

Mai:Blame me for liking the guy.

Ulquiorra:Why can't you just say you love him?

Mai:Why can't you mind your own business? Everybody get out of here! Next time Stark and Harribel will be here. Byakuya too so I can get those morons to shut up. 'Why can't you say I love you?' Why can't you act normal, you jerk!

Kenpachi:Remember our therapy. Breath in. Breath out.

Ulquiorra:No wonder it isn't working. You almost have as many problems as she does.

Jushiro:Hello and welcome-

Mai:We are already ending, stupid!

Jushiro:Sorry I haven't been here.

Mai:Next chapter Byakuya, Stark, and Harribel will be here. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra are permanent now. Thats the update.

Jushiro:Did I miss that much? I guess I was enjoying myself too much. I'm sorry reviewers.

Mai:I'm sorry that this chapter was late! Stupid school and siblings.


	7. Ulquiorra High?

Jushiro:Hello. Welcome to my Q&A.

Mai:Well I'm a part of this too!

Jushiro:*ignores Mai*Today Byakuya, Stark Coyote and Tia Harribel are here.

Stark:I'm sleepy. When's it nap time?

Tia:Hello.

Byakuya:I hope I won't have to strip anymore.

Mai:Only for me.*is ignored* WHY AREN"T PAYING ATTENTION TO ME?

Jushiro:Don't talk to me.

Mai:Why Shiro-kun? Why?

Jushiro:You didn't update.

Mai:*puppy dog eyes with sparkly tears* I'm sorry! I'm sorry reviewers! I'm sorry Shiro-kun! I'm sorry readers!*cries even more*

Jushiro:It's okay! I forgive you.*hugs Mai*

Byakuya:*pushes Jushiro* Mine!*hugs Mai harder*

Stark:Possessive much?

Mai:What about you and Tia? Anything going on there?

Stark:*blushes* I-I don't know what you are talking about. Here's **Animefan0410:**

***clears throat* I hope I don't get smacked bt Harribel for this..But I dare Harribel to gointo her release for, and stay that way the whole time she's on the show. (if you don't know what she looks like released image search harribel release). I'm also happy Grimmjow is now permanent. And I have 2 questions for Starrk. 1. Why are you so dam lazy? 2. How do you stay so fit? Because most fangirls drool over you..more than Grimmjow lol**

Mai:Tia, if you will.

Tia:fine. Destroy, Tiburon!*releases*

Stark:*cat whistles*

Jushiro:*blushes*

Mai:*knocks Byakuya out* You aren't allowed to see.

Grimmjow:He's happy that I'm permanent, but thats to be expected.

Mai:I'm not happy. He hogs the bathroom for two hours! What the hell do you do in there? Jack off?

Ulquiorra:Hahaha yeah. He's probably like 'Harribel.. gah!'

All:............

Mai:Did you....did you just make a joke?

Ulquiorra:I smoked some of lord Aizen's pot before I got here.

J.J.:The weird emo mime clown is now high. Great.

Ulquiorra:C'mere lil' kid. Rawr! *grabs J.J. and is stroking his head* Hahahaha. It's a pony.

Stark:......Can I answer now?

Mai:Yes....

Stark:Why? Well why do some people like to exercise or read or get on the computer? Because we enjoy it.

Mai:I'm as lazy as Starky!

Stark:I am so fit because I have a lot of muscle and its not so easy to lose muscle I guess, you burn a little bit of calories sleeping and L said you burn calories thinking.

Mai:Something like that.

Stark:*yawns* Fangirls?

Mai:Yup. They are all over your posters and plushies and shit.

Grimmjow:Who cares about those girls! I've got like a thousand more.

Mai:You are so desperate. Get a hobby, job or a girlfriend or something.

Tia:Katizo is here. **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: we iz back!  
Charisei: ignore her she had coffee  
Katizo: yepperz!  
Charisei: *picks J.J. up by collar* if u hurt Ulqui-kun i'll kill u you piece of garbage.  
Katizo: I KNEW U LIKED ULQUIORRA! perfect couple!! he calls people trash and u call people garbage.  
Charisei: weren't u ** when u read this  
Katizo: oh ya *goes to kill lily girl*  
Charisei: um...okay i wanna see Grimmjow sing the meow mix theme song  
Katizo: MUHAHAHA UKITAKE-KUN IZ MINE NOW!!  
Charisei: *whisper* help me!**

J.J.:*is lifted and threatened* Back up outta my face or we are going to have some problems.

Mai:J.J.

J.J.:She touched me though! We Sumikos don't like to be touched.

Mai:I do.

Byakuya:Only by me I hope.

J.J.:*smacks Ulquiorra with a pot* I can hit him all I want.

Mai:You two are going to therapy after this!*hands out Kenpachi's card*

Ulquiorra:Anything you say! Moooo!

Mai:You aren't a cow. You're a bat.

Ulquiorra:Bat! Bat!*giggles*

Mai:Bats don't go bat! They go eeekk! eeekk! Grimmjow sing it in English. K?

Grimmjow:I want chicken I want liver  
Meow Mix Meow Mix  
Please Deliver

I want chicken I want liver  
Meow Mix Meow Mix  
Please Deliver

I want chicken I want liver  
Meow Mix Meow Mix  
Please Deliver

I want chicken I want liver  
Meow Mix Meow Mix  
Please Deliver

Byakuya:*starts crying* I had a cat once, but grandfather took him away! We use to sing this very song. Then I sold the song to those guys! I feel so treacherous!

Mai:*hugs Byakuya*There there, Byaku-kun. You'll go to therapy too.

Byakuya:We are going to discuss this and our relationship.

Mai:Not this again.

Byakuya:Why can't you just show you emotions?

Mai:You are one to talk.

Ulquiorra:I think Charisei likes me you guys.

Mai:Really? You don't say!

Ulquiorra:I do! She was like don't touch Ulqui-kun! N I was like Wow is that a unicorn out there?

Stark:Damn! The cuatra's fucked up! No wonder Aizen's always mellow and coming up with crazy shit.

Tia:I am disappointed.

Mai:He's a funny bunny when faded! I guess I can cross him off my 'who I'd think it would be fun to get high with' list.

Jushiro:He is touching himself Mai-chan.

Ulquiorra:*is stroking his arm* Ohh this feels good. You guys I feel so good. Oh yes.

Mai:He took some of the ecstasy Kenpachi gave me!...Not that I would take it........

Byakuya:Better not. **LilyGirl101:**

**YAY!! Byakuya-nee-chan is coming!! YAY! *happy dance*  
AH! *hides behind Shiro-chan* Katizo is coming to kill me! Save me, Mai-chan, Shiro-chan, Byakuya-nee-chan! HELP!! Please! We can share, OK? We'll be his harem or something!  
*takes the money* Thanks very much, by the way...just...forget we ever had this conversation, k-k? You too, Shiro-chan...  
Alright...update faster this time! While waiting for you, I wrote the crappiest story in history, I was so bored! Oh and ask...Byakuya-nee-chan...you once made a joke that you used your zanpakto to cut your hair...what DO you use? Where do you go? Just out of the curiosity of the female heart, tell me**

Byakuya:Thank you for the kind greeting.

Mai:He better just be nee-chan or we will have some problems. Anyway! Welcome back Lily-chan!

Jushiro:*grabs LilyGirl* No killing.

Mai:Yes, there will be no fighting over Jushiro. Say your sorrys girls! Don't worry, I won't remember a thing.

Jushiro:Me either.

Mai:What are we forgetting?

Jushiro:I don't know.

Mai:Good. I will try to update sooner k? I bet it isn't crappy! I'll read it later and tell ya what I think!

Byakuya:I go to the hair salon in the Seireitei. I use L'oreal shampoo and conditioner. Because I'm worth it!*does hair flip*

Ulquiorra:Well I use Garnier Fructis. Garnier...take care!*does hair flip*

Byakuya:You garnier garbage!

Ulquiorra:L'oreal loser!

Byakuya and Ulquiorra:GRRR!

Mai:They both represent different hair care brands. Break it up. You both have beautiful hair.

Byakuya:Well, you pot head, at least I have her.*kisses Mai*

Ulquiorra:The pot wore off and I have her!*grabs Charisei*

Jushiro:I have two! Hahaha.

Tia:You shouldn't be proud of that, _tonto_.

Mai:Tonto means dumb in Spanish.

Grimmjow:Go out with me please! *grabs Tia's knees*Please!

Stark:ZZZZZZZZ*snores*

Mai:I got a blonde joke for you, Tia.

Tia:Whatever.

Mai:Okay. There are three girls and a mirror that sucks in liars. The red headed girl says"I think I'm the smartest girl in the world!" She gets sucked in. The brunette says"I think I'm the prettiest girl in the world!" She gets sucked in. The blonde says"I think...I think....AHHH!"She gets sucked in.

Tia:Very funny. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

Mai:I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass!

Tia:Roses are red. Violets are blue. God made me pretty, what the fuck happened to you?

Mai:Mirrors don't talk sweetie. Lucky for you! Cuz they'd be laughing!

Tia:GRRR!

Mai:I hope I didn't insult or hurt any blondes out there. I just wanted to share some funny jokes I got from this website. It's got like a dozen good yo mama and blonde jokes. If you want to kick a racist's ass, go to my science teacher. He is always making fun of this one blonde in front of the whole class. But then again, she is the stereotypical definition of blonde. Hope to see you next time!

Tia:Your mom's so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go!

Mai:Your mom's so fat, when she wears her yellow jacket people say, "look it's the magic school bus!"

Tia:Your mom is so stu- Your mom is so fat- no that isn't good. You've won this round!

Mai:In your face!*does her victory dance*

Byakuya:Con-grad-ulations baby. Don't dance like that unless I'm gonna get a private session.

Mai:You sure are. *goes into room*

Byakuya:Nobody go in for a few nights.*follows Mai*

Jushiro:Tomorrow we will all be in Kenpachi's office for group therapy. Yes he is licensed, I was as shocked as you are. In therapy will be Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Byakuya, Mai, Tia, J.J., Kenpachi, of course, and myself. Take care! And you can still send in questions and dares.


	8. Very Much Needed Therapy

Mai:Welcome to Q&A with Jushiro Ukitake on location. We are here in Kenpachi's office for therapy. Yes, I know, what the hell is so wrong with us we need _his_ diagnosis. Not to worry though! He has _helped _people. Kenpachi, can you tell us who.

Kenpachi:*is wearing glasses and has a clipboard*I've seen Mayuri for a lot of stuff, I still have nightmares, Aizen, he said he felt _false _and wanted to be loyal to his country, Gin said he wanted to learn integrity, and Komamura, who wanted to overcome his self conscious about his apperance.

Jushiro:How many of those cases did you actually solve?

Kenpachi:Well Komamura ain't wearin' his damn helmet anymore!

Byakuya:People pick on him now.

Kenpachi:Well nobody here is self conscious about there looks so shut the fuck up!

All:Okay!

Kenpachi:Lets start with one of the worst problem, Ulquiorra and J.J.

J.J.:Well he's a freaky emo clown mime and I don't like him. He scares me.

Kenpachi:Mhm. Why do you fear clowns, emos, and mimes?

J.J.:Because they aren't normal!

Mai and Ulquiorra:Hey!

J.J.:Its my turn to talk! Dr. I thought it was my turn to talk.

Kenpachi:Next person to interrupt anybody here is getting their swords up their asses.

J.J.:They wear weird makeup and do weird stuff!

Kenpachi:They aren't going to hurt you. They just look scary. Now I want you to hug Ulquiorra.

J.J.:*shifts nervously in his chair*

Ulquiorra:*braces himself*

J.J.:*hugs*

Ulquiorra:*hugs*See I won't hurt you. I'm too scared because of Mai.

J.J.:Oh, you are like the older brother I've always had and never wanted! Except you aren't cool.

Ulquiorra:You don't repulse me anymore.

All:Awwww!

Kenpachi:Breakthrough. Time to answer a few questions. **katizo terusei:**

**Charisei: *pokes Stark* wake up garbage!  
Katizo: *pets Grimmjow* KITTY! i missed you!  
Both: how the hell can Kenpachi be a therapist?!?!!?  
Charisei: Ulqui-chan...*goes into daze*  
Katizo: I wanna see Harribel and Stark make out!  
Nnoitra: SAVE ME!  
Katizo: back to your cage!  
Charisei: ya we own him now!  
Katizo: evil spoon tried to rape me T^T**

Stark:*is poked in his room in Hueco Mundo* What the fuck?!

Grimmjow:Where did I go?

Kenpachi:Believe it or not I earned my credentials.

Ulquiorra:I LIKE HUGGING!*hugs Charisei*

Mai:Why are you yelling?

Ulquiorra:I need to get that out.

Grimmjow:Haha. I'm not in a stupid cage like you Nnoitra!

*Stark and Harribel start making out*

Kenpachi:Next problem we are addressing are Byakuya and Mai's. More specifically Mai's.

Mai:I don't like having to say it!

Byakuya:Why?

Kenpachi:I'm asking the questions! This is my office! Why, Mai-chan?

Mai:Well if I didn't care about him, I would have kicked him out of my house after we are done doing it!

Kenpachi:Why can't you just say those three words? Say it.

Mai:No. God take away things if you brag about them. I LOVE J.J. SO MUCH! HE IS THE BEST LITTLE BROTHER IN THE WORLD!

J.J.:NO! You idiot! The evil eye will come for me now.

Ulquiorra:I'll protect you!*guards him, zanpakuto drawn*

Kenpachi:Are you willing to toss your relationship away just for a superstition?

Mai:No. I guess not. I lo- I love you, Byakuya Kuchiki!

Byakuya:I love you too!*hugs*

Mai:*kisses* Time for another review. It's a first timer, too. **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**Hehe, I'm a new reviewer! I feelz so specialz XD, Okay dis- regard what i just said. I've got two questions for Ulquiorra and a dare for Byakuya , 1. What's with the little green lines running down your face (Not that i don't like them, I'm just wondering why you put them there) and 2. How do you sleep with that helmet thingy on, i mean wouldn't it pierce the bed or something? or do arrancars even sleep?  
Byakuya: I dare you to switch whatever haircare products you use (AKA that L'oreal stuff) with whatever products Grimmjow uses :)), I feel evil...**

Byakuya:I think it's his cheap Covergirl mascara running!

Ulquiorra:L'oreal loser! These are birth marks. I aviod laying down on the side my mask is on. It gets caught in my pillow. Arrancar do sleep. Stark is an obvious example.

Byakuya:Please don't say-

Grimmjow:I use Axe shampoos.

Byakuya:Damn you! That shit will kill my hair and give me split ends.*starts choking Grimmjow*

Mai:Don't worry.

Byakuya:Damn you *points at Sougyo* you heartless-*Mai covers mouth*

Kenpachi:Who's next for their resolutions? Grimmjow, how about you?

Grimmjow:There ain't nothin' fucking wrong.

Kenpachi:Thats not true. You feel lonely don't you?

Grimmjow:Okay yes! Everyone is hooking up! Jushiro's got those girls, Mai's got Byakuya, Ulquiorra's got a reviewer, Stark's got Harribel, Kurosaki has the midget and I have no one!*sobs*

Kenpachi:It looks like it's time for guy's night out.

Jushiro:Yeah! We could get high and drunk and get girls to stri-I mean we could go to a restaurant and eat cake.

Byakuya and Ulquiorra:...........

Kenpachi:Solved!

Ulquiorra:Here's **Animefan0410:**

**I hace a question for Jushiro, hopefully I can still ask even if he is in therapy, and hopefully the therapist can help him figure it out and help..Why thee hell are you now such a sex addict? I saw you last night trying to get that hooker in your car, who kept saying 'I'm not a hooker, leave me alone', and then yelled for the police. Which was when you an for it.**

**As for grimmjow, you may be awesome, but desperae looks really pathetic on you.  
To Byakuya, don't fight about hair care products, it look like even more of a pretty boy. But your zampakto doesn't help you much with that. (I just feel like being a little bitchy to them for no reason lol)**

Mai:That's where you ran off to!

Jushiro:..........

Grimmjow:I was emotionally unstable!

Byakuya:Grrr.

Mai:Hey, what's wrong with being a pretty boy?

Kenpachi:Now Jushiro, why are you addicting to sex?

Jushiro:I wouldn't say I'm addicting and that girl was so a hooker!

Kenpachi:Why?

Jushiro:Well she was dres-

Kenpachi:Not that. Why do you like screwing girls so much? *gets kicked in the head*

Jushiro:To make up for the years I've missed!

Mai:Shiro-kun!

Kenpachi:Take it slower.

Mai:As in don't rape girls that look like hookers, girls that hang out in a corner at night, or girls that hang out in the corner at day.

Jushiro:Yes ma'am! I'm sorry to the girls and maybe hookers I one-night standed.

Kenpachi:Resolved. He isn't a rapist anymore.

Mai:Shouldn't we go further?

Grimmjow:Nah! He'll be fine. Here is **LilyGirl101:**

**Thank you, Shiro-chan, for saving me...*sobs* I was scared...by the way, I already deleted the story after getting a whole lot of reviews telling me it sucked. I don't take rejection well.  
Yes, Byakuya-nee-chan is just that. He's my nee-chan. *hugs him*. Thanks for answering my question! And thanks for the hair flip! Mai-chan, if he's my nee-chan, that makes you my aneu-ue!X-)  
Um...hey, I have a dare for you, Mai! I want you and Jushiro to sing and dance to "Shut Up" by the Black-Eyed Peas. And don't call Shiro-chan stupid! He's the nicest, most adorable man in the world! And he's so fun at nig--sorry...said too much already...uh...  
Yay! We get to see Zaki-chan again! YAY! *hugs him* I'm glad you're a therapist! Hm...hey, Zaki-chan...can I have a piggy-back ride?**

Jushiro:I'll take care of you, Lily-chan.

Mai:Don't cry!

Byakuya:*accepts hug and returns it* You are welcome.

Mai:Sistas! Yeah! I'm sorry for calling you stupid Shiro-kun.

Jushiro:I know you don't mean it.

Mai:You really are the nicest and most adorable.

Byakuya:Hey!

Mai:Relax. You are the calmest and hottest in the world.

Mai:*puts music on*Shut up  
Just shut up  
Shut up [3x]  
Shut it up, just shut up  
Shut up  
Just shut up  
Shut up [3x]  
Shut it up, just shut up

Mai:[Chorus]  
We try to take it slow  
But we're still losin control  
And we try to make it work  
But it still isn't the worst  
And I'm craaazzzy  
For tryin to be your laaadddy  
I think I'm goin crazy

Jushiro:Girl, me and you were just fine (you know)  
We wine and dine  
Did them things that couples do when in love (you know)  
Walks on the beach and stuff (you know)  
Things that lovers say Mai: and do  
I love you boo,Mai: I love you too  
I miss you a lot,Mai: I miss you even more  
That's why I flew you out  
When we was on tour  
But then something got out of hand  
You start yellin when I'm with my friends  
Even though I had legitimate reasons Mai:(bull shit)  
You know I have to make them evidence Mai:(bull shit)  
How could you trust our private lives girl  
That's why you don't believe my lies  
And quit this lecture

Mai:[Chorus]

Jushiro:Why does he know she gotta move so fast  
Love is progress if you could make it last  
Why is it that you just lose control  
Every time you agree on takin it slow  
So why does it got to be so damn tough  
Cuz fools in lust could never get enough of love  
Showin him the love that you be givin  
Changing up your livin  
For a lovin transistion  
Girl lip so much she tryin to get you to listen  
Few mad at each other has become our tradition  
You yell, I yell, everybody yells  
Got neighbors across the street sayin  
Who the hell?!?  
Who the hell?  
What the hell's going down?  
Too much of the bickering  
Kill it with the sound and

Mai:[Chorus]

Girl our love is dyin  
Why can't you stop tryin  
Mai:I never been a quitah  
But I do deserve betta  
Jushiro:Believe me I will do bad  
Let's forget the past  
And let's start this new plan  
Mai:Why? Cuz it's the same old routine  
And then next week I hear them scream  
Jushiro:Girl I know you're tired of the things they say  
Mai:You're damn right  
Cuz I heard them lame dame excuses just yesterday  
Jushiro:That was a different thing  
Mai:No it ain't  
Jushiro:That was a different thing  
Mai:No it ain't  
Jushiro:That was a different thing  
Mai:It was the same damn thing  
Same ass excuses  
Boy you're usless  
Whhoooaaaa

[Chorus]

Jushiro:Stop the talking baby  
Or I start walking baby  
Is that all there is [repeat]

Mai:Sorry it's not the full thing. Someone is a little too lazy to write the rest.

Kenpachi:*hugs LilyGirl and gives her a piggy back ride*

Jushiro:Grrr. Don't touch her!

Kenpachi:I didn't know you were the jealous type.

Jushiro:Neither did I.*punches Kenpachi*

Mai and Grimmjow:Fight! Fight! Fight!

Byakuya:No fight.*breaks them apart but gets punched in the face*

Mai:Oh God. Not his face! Run kitty-kun and Ulqui! Run!*run out*

Byakuya:*explodes with anger*

Mai:*looks inside* AHHH! GRIMMJOW! ULQUI HELP!

Grimmjow:She disappeared.....

Ulquiorra:No she didn't! They are just having adult fun!

J.J.:Denial.

Ulquiorra:Everything is fine, trashy morons.

Jushiro:AHHHH!

Ulquiorrra:Here is **HanakoAnimeaddict:**

**I couldn't review the last chapter but thanks for using my idea! If Kenpachi is a psychiatrist, run for the hills! I am scared to add anymore ideas!**

Ulquiorra:Mai is a little busy with a relationship building session. But I'm sure this is what she would say "Thank you so very much!" *chibi eyes and hands clasped together in a prayer position* "I love you guys! I love Byakuya! I'm going to be a future pervert in jail!"

Mai:*stands behind Ulquiorra and pounds on him*Welcome back. Thanks! We'll use anybody's and everybody's ideas here in Q&A with Jushiro Ukitake!

Jushiro:Owwww! It hurts Mai-chan.

Mai:Thats what you get for fighting over a girl.

Kenpachi:My ass hurts!

Mai:You don't even want to know where I'm hurting......

Grimmjow:I do.

Byakuya:Since we are in the Seireitei lets go to my mansion.

Mai:Okay.

J.J.:Are we invited?

Mai:No! Bye, peoples!

J.J.:Rawr!

Grimmjow:Whatever.

Ulquiorra:I told you guys she was just playing.

Mai:It was more on the brink of rape, but okay!

Jushiro:Feel free to review any question or dare. Nobody will hurt you!

Ulquiorra:You might get raped, but you will remain otherwise intact.

Jushiro:Next time our guest will be Soi Fon, Yoruichi, and....

Mai:Kakashi!

Ulquiorra:He isn't even in our show.

Mai:But he's so awesome and hot and cool and he's a ninja too like Yoruichi and Soi Fon!

J.J.:But he's not from the show!

Mai:I don't care! Next time Soi Fon, Yoruichi, and Kakashi Hatake. See ya!


	9. Ninja Time

Mai:Hola!

Jushiro:Konnichi wa!

Ulquiorra:Guten Tag.

Grimmjow:Bonjour.

Kakashi:Ummm, Jushiro took my language.

Mai:Just say hello.

Kakashi:Hello! Our first is **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**GREAT! NOW I FEEL BAD!... Maybe you shouldn't have said "Nobody will hurt you" Jushiro,  
AND I AM NOT A HEARTLESS *! I just have my moments where i feel the need to be evil, Oh and Ulquiorra. If there were a fight between Byakuya and Yoruichi, who do you think would win?  
BYAKUYA: Axe isn't THAT bad, haven't you seen the commercials, or do you even watch T.V.?? That's all i'm going to say to you because i enjoy my head being attached to my body... *mumbles profanities*  
Grimmjow: your not lonely, Remember... You could beat Ichigo's a** anyday, so technically you have him. And you sorta have Mai :))**

Jushiro:Don't feel bad. You don't have a reason to! What I meant by"Nobody will hurt you" is us. You guys can hurt us......

Mai:But who want to hurt me?*someone throws chair at Mai*

Ulquiorra:The trashy woman would win in that fight.

Byakuya:Screw you, you clown. I apologize for calling you a heartless-there's no need to finish. I was angry about losing my L'oreal. And I don't think axe is for long hair.

Grimmjow:I don't want Ichigo! I want-

Mai:Don't finish that.

Grimmjow:I have you.

Byakuya:No, she's mine.

Kakashi:To prevent a fight for breaking out in this lovely home I'll introduce the next person. **pinkfire 101:**

**Hi Mai! I just want to say love this Q & A's I mean i don't really read Q & A but this is one of my favorite storys! Anyway i want to ask a few Qusetions. Okay so here it goes. First up is Grimmjow.**

****

What is your type of girl? And if you read what's your favorite book?

Ulquiorra: What is your favorite animal and why?

Jushiro: If you could do a girl captin who would it be??

**Thank you!! That is all for now but i thinlk it would be awsome to have Karin, Yuzu, And Toshiro on here with Ichigo and if you do i ot plans of that one. (laughs evily) Good-bye**

Mai:Hi!*waves like an idiot* Thanks for liking it.

Grimmjow:My type would be a girl with a sense of humor and can take a joke, is hot, and is feisty. A book? Reading?

Mai:?

Kakashi:My favorite is-

All:Icha Icha Paradise.

Kakashi:No, its-

All:Icha Icha Violence.

Kakashi:No, actually-

Mai:*yells out really loudly* Make out Tatics!

All:*stares*

Mai:Fangirl moment.

Byakuya:I'm watching you Hatake.

Ulquiorra:My favorite animal is the bat. It is my zanpakuto and it is quiet and stealthy.

Jushiro:Girl captain? There aren't many choices.

Soi Fon:*punches him*

Jushiro:That makes it automatically Unohana.

Mai:Yeah! I can make that happen. Major awkwardness.

Soi Fon:**LilyGirl101:**

**Oh! KAKASHI?!?!? REALY?!?!?!? You're right! He IS hot! One of the hottest of them all! However ,Shiro-chan is the only one for me. He beats even Kakashi as far as hot-ness is concern. Ooh, but ask Kakashi to draw me a picture! I want to see how good an artist he is! Also, ask me if he can teach me some jutsus after the show!**

****

Hey, pinkfire101...he doesn't need any girl captains! He has me and Katizo! But...answer the question, Shiro-chan, so that I may go and kill said female captain...just kidding...kind of...

Sorry for making you jealous earlier, Shiro-chan. It's just that Zaki-chan is so tall, and I wanted a piggy back ride :-( You can give me one later, OK? Oh, Shiro-chan, do you wanna go on a rollercoaster with me? There's a really big one right near where I live! I have enough money and everything! Please? Please? PLEASE?!?!?

This is so stereotypical, but can Soi Fon and Yoruichi sing "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry? I just wanna hear dem girlies singin! Ooh, and can I dance with them? Yoruichi is my favorite female character! I like her a lot!

Hey, bring Shiro-KUN on the show next, OK? I want to play with his hair! (by Shiro-KUN, I mean Hitsuguay-taicho). I also have these really cool charms...they're ice cubes and strawberries, and I wanna hang them on his zanpakto!

**Love ya'll!  
LilyGirl101 (but you can all call me Lily-chan ;-P )**

Kakashi:I guess I am good looking. Not to sound conceited.

Grimmjow:Yeah, thats my thing.

Mai:You haven't been doing it lately.

Grimmjow:I've been down in the dumps.

Ulquiorra:Why didn't you stay there?

Mai:No fights today. Kenpachi said we have to go one day without physical violence in our group.

Grimmjow:Damn it! Fuck!

Jushiro:Rollercoaster? I'm afraid but I'll go anywhere for you.

Kakashi:That's what the main male character said to the love of his life in Make out Tatics.

Mai:Kakashi!*glomps*

Kakashi:A little late there.

Mai:You are always late.

Yoruichi:Yo!

Kakashi:You are calling me late.

Mai:Yoru! You said you'd be here! You are lucky you haven't gotten questions or dares.

Yoruichi:Sorry. There was an-

Kakashi:An old lady that needed help. I've used that.

Soi Fon:Yoruichi-sama*bows down to the floor.*

Mai:Ready?

Yoruichi:Yup. *music plays, LilyGirl comes in dancing* This was never the way I planned  
Not my intention  
I got so brave, drink in hand  
Lost my discretion  
It's not what, I'm used to  
Just wanna try you on  
I'm curious for you  
Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

Soi Fon:No, I don't even know your name  
It doesn't matter,  
You're my experimental game  
Just human nature,  
It's not what,  
Good girls do  
Not how they should behave  
My head gets so confused  
Hard to obey

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it,

Soi Fon & Yoruichi:Us girls we are so magical  
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable  
Hard to resist so touchable  
Too good to deny it  
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

Mai:Toshiro is coming! Tomorrow.

Yoruichi:**Animefan0410:**

**Way to rip off George Lopez, you rule for it! XD**

****

I have to say, Grimmjow, you seriously need to just go to a bar and ick up some girl, or go to one of those internet dating sites and leave out the fact that your a bloodthirsty warmonger..Or you'll attract the weirdo.

**I definitely have a dare for all the bleach characters that are there..I dare you to all team up on Kakashi and kick his ** (I don't care for the show Naruto lol). Now I have a question for Soi-fon and 2 for Yoruichi. My question for you Yoruichi is: Why do you sound like a guy when your a cat? 2nd. What is your preference? Because I have to say, you seem like you probably go both since you have obviously been with alot of men, hence why you had no problem being naked around nude Ichigo in that underground area of Urahara's shop. Plus it seem sliek soemthing's going on with you and Urahara, and you seem really really close to Soi-Fon  
My question for you Soi-Fon is: Why are you so over obsessed with Yoruichi?**

Mai:I love George Lopez! I've seen and heard all of his jokes so many times I bring them up unconsciously.

Grimmjow:I met a girl last night.

Mai:And I won the lottery.

Kakashi:Beat me up?

Mai:Oh no! Do it quickly guys.

Jushiro:Well, I'm not going to enjoy this.

Byakuya:I am.

Kakashi:Ow, ufff!

Mai:Not his face!

Grimmjow:What does it matter? He wears a mask.*punches*

Kakashi:Ouch!

Ulquiorra:*kicks*

Soi Fon:I believe thats is enough.

Kakashi:Thank you! I love you.

Soi Fon:*blushes*

Mai:She like a guy because she likes to fuck around with people's minds.

Yoruichi:Pretty much. I like guys, especially the young ones like Ichigo or Byakuya.

Mai:You can take Ichi. Keep your paws off Byakuya though.

Yoruichi:I liked him when he was Ichigo's age.

Mai:Pedophile.

Yoruichi:But I love Kisuke too!

Mai:Then there's some hope.

Soi Fon:I am not obessed....Yes I am. I just, she's so cool and I aspire to be her! I want to protect her as well. It's my job.

Mai:You don't have a crush. It's worse than that.

Kakashi:*reading book*

Mai:Hey didn't you say once, as an excuse, that a cute girl crossed your way so you had to dance.

Kakashi:Yes.

Mai:Well there are so cute girls here and you haven't danced.

Kakashi:*dances*

Mai:Who is is for?

Kakashi:For Soi Fon.

Soi Fon:*blushes*

Grimmjow:Damn it! Another hook up and it ain't for me!

Mai:Shut up.

Byakuya:**katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: poor kitty-kun *pets Grimmjow*  
Charisei: um...okay then Mia i want you to dance to butterfly's samurai  
Katizo: ukitake-kun i will TRY not to kill lilygirl. no promises  
Charisei: oh and ulquiorra has to sing the emo song  
Katizo: you just wanna hear his voice  
Charisei: ya!**

Grimmjow:I know right.

Mai:I'll do it. *starts dancing*

Ulquiorra:Dear Diary:

Mood: Apathetic.

My life is spiralling downward.  
I couldn't get enough money to go to the  
Blood Red Romance and Suffocate me dry concert.  
It sucks 'cause they play some of my favorite songs  
like "Stab My Heart Because I Love You" and  
"Rip Apart My Soul" and of course,  
"Stabby Rip Stab Stab".  
And it doesn't help that I couldn't  
get my hair to do that flippy thing.  
Like that guy from that band can do.  
Some days, you know...

I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be  
You'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me  
I have paint on my nails and make-up on my face  
I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs  
'Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag  
I call it freedom of expression,  
most just call me a fag  
'Cause our dudes look like chicks,  
and our chicks look like dykes  
'Cause emo is one step below transvestite!

Stop my breathing and slit my throat  
I must be emo  
I don't jump around when I go to shows  
I must be emo

I'm dark, and sensitive with low self-esteem  
The way I dress makes every day feel like Halloween  
I have no real problems but I like to make believe  
I stole my sister's mascara now, I'm grounded for a week.  
Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies  
I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing  
Girls keep breaking up with me,  
it's never any fun.  
They say they already have a pussy,  
they don't need another one

Stop my breathing and slit my throat  
I must be emo  
I don't jump around when I go to shows  
I must be emo  
Dye in my hair and polish on my toes  
I must be emo  
I play guitar and write suicide notes  
I must be emo

My life is just a black abyss,  
you know, it's so dark.  
And it's suffocating me.  
Grabbing ahold of me and tightening its grip,  
tighter than a pair of  
my little sister's jeans...  
which look great on me by the way.

When I get depressed I cut my wrists in every direction  
Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection  
I write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses  
I told my friends I bleed black and cry during classes  
I'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth,  
You can read me "Catcher in the Rye", and watch me jack off.  
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life  
If I said I like girls, I'd only be half right!

I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo  
I must be emo  
Screw XBox, I play old school Nintendo  
I must be emo  
I like to whine and hit my parentals  
I must be emo  
Me and my friends all look like clones  
I must be Eee-Mo

My parents just don't get me, you know.  
They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy.  
Well, a couple guys. But I mean, it's the 2000s.  
Can't 2 ... or 4 dudes make-out with  
each other without being gay?  
I mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways.  
I don't know diary,  
sometimes I think you're the only one that gets me,  
you're my best friend...

I feel like tacos

Mai:Wow. That's pretty much Ulquiorra in a nutshell. Here is **applecrisp666:**

**this story is awesome. I love it. Much loves to Grimmjow and Ulquiorra, they are my 3rd and 4th fav bleach characters(1st and 2nd are Gin and Aizen). If Kakashi is gonna be anwsering questions and doing dares, then coukd you get him to take off his mask?**

Mai:Take it off.

Kakashi:*takes off mask*

Mai:Take it off!

Kakashi:What!?

Mai:Shirt too. Fine.

Byakuya:*covers Mai's eyes*You aren't allowed to see!

Mai:NOOO!

Jushiro:Here is **HanakoAnimeaddict:**

**I have one question and dare for our lovely espada! Ulquiorra, are you a pedophile? How old are you? And, what sexuality are you? Did Aizen ever rape you? Were you ever raped? Is Szayel your friend? Why do you know true despair? Are you emo? Why do you hate Grimmjow? What did you to him in the closet to make him run? **  
**Now my dare is simple. Go sing Barbie Girl; anyone can be Ken! While you are at that, dress up as Barney and sing, " I Love You" around the sereitei!**

Ulquiorra:I am not a pedophile. Age:unknown.

Mai:I like to think he is in his twenty's but the make up hides it.

Ulquiorra:I am straight.

Grimmjow:As a circle.

Ulquiorra:Aizen did molest me, but not rape me. I have been raped*looks nervously at Mai* but I'm not saying who. Szayel isn't my friend, nor do I want him to be. I know true despair because I have felt it. More frequently now then ever. I am emo. Grimmjow is an annoying, conceited, self centered, pathetic moronic cat with no chance at a love life.

Grimmjow:Hey! Emo bastard.

Ulquiorra:I'll tell you what I did. I performed and tested many forms of torture.

Grimmjow:It was just horrible.

Mai:Kakashi will be Ken.

Kakashi:Hi Barbie  
Ulquiorra:Hi Ken!  
Kakashi:Do you wanna go for a ride?  
Ulquiorra:Sure Ken!  
Kakashi:ump In...

Ulquiorra:I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!

Ulquiorra:I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly  
Kakashi:You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,  
Ulquiorra:kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(uu-oooh-u)  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(uu-oooh-u)

Ulquiorra:Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees  
Kakashi:Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again,  
hit the town, fool around, let's go party  
Ulquiorra:You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"  
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(uu-oooh-u)  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(uu-oooh-u)

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!  
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(uu-oooh-u)  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
Kakashi:Come on Barbie, let's go party!  
Ulquiorra:(uu-oooh-u)

Ulquiorra:Oh, I'm having so much fun!  
Kakashi:Well Barbie, we're just getting started  
Ulquiorra:Oh, I love you Ken!

Ulquiorra:That wasn't a real invitation you old pervert.

Kakashi:I feel disgusting now. I'm going to need a shower.

Ulquiorra:You don't know how lucky you are. *dresses up like Barney* I love you. You love me.....*goes to Seireitei*

Mai:Hahahaha. *rolling on the floor*

Byakuya:You wished Ulquiorra was your Barbie, don't you Hatake?

Kakashi:Not really.

Grimmjow:Don't you ever get mad?

Kakashi:Not really.

Byakuya:Whatever.*thinks:bastard better stay away*

Soi Fon:*thinks:what a man!*

Yoruichi:*thinks:I wonder how old he is? Under 18 and I'm going for it!*

Mai:*thinks:Hot cheetos! No, monkeys! No actually, hot cheetos!*

Grimmjow:*thinks:I'm way hotter thatn him!* I'm bored. I think I'll rap.

Jushiro:*smiles. thinks:Please don't rap and make a fool of yourself.*

Grimmjow:My-

Ulquiorra:I have returned trash.

Mai:Thank the lord! Grimmjow was going to rap. I mean darn! Grimmjow was about to rap. So how did it go?

Ulquiorra:I was beaten up by Kenpachi. Someone told him I was Godzilla, the ultimate challenge. Some crazy girl named Momo was chasing me saying"You know where Aizen is! You know where Aizen is!" I got beat up a few more times and yeah. Thats how it went.

Mai:So pretty well then.

Ulquiorra:I would say so.

Soi Fon:I'll be going then.....

Mai:Bye! Come back anytime!

Kakashi:Wait, you want to do something?

Yoruichi:How old are you?

Kakashi:26.

Grimmjow:Not two!

Yoruichi:Oh. How about you?

Grimmjow:I'm pretty sure I'm under 18 years old.

Yoruichi:Good enough for me.*takes Grimmjow away*

Kakashi & Soi Fon:*leave*

Jushiro:I have a rollercoaster to get on with Lily-chan.

Mai:Lets go Byaku-boo.

Byakuya:Yes, Mai-chan.

Ulquiorra:I have nothing to do now, alone.

J.J.:I'm back! What have I missed?

Ulquiorra:Tomorrow Ichigo Kurosaki, Karin Kurosaki, Yuzu Kurosaki, and Toshiro Hitsugaya will come.

J.J.:That's a lot of people here! It'll be me, you, Grimmjow, Jushiro, Toshiro, Ichi, Karin, Yuzu, and Mai!

Ulquiorra:Yes, but what can we do? We are just extras. Except they like me more.

J.J.:Don't make me hate you again.

Ulquiorra:Good bye.


	10. Too Much Rape!

Mai:Hi!

Yuzu:Hello everyone!

Ichigo:I'm here again......

Karin:Hi.....

Toshiro:I can see this is going to end badly.

Mai:Yep! **HanakoAnimeaddict:**

**I must ask the main characters a few questions. Do you know everyone, or most, hate you? Why don't you stay dead?**

Mai:You are talking to Ichi, right?

Ichigo:Everyone hates me? I don't care.

Mai:At the next family party you are going to be crying, "Nobody likes me! Its my orange hair!" like last time.

Ichigo:Shut up! I have a tough body I guess thats why I'm not dead.

Yuzu:Ichi-nee! Don't be sad about it!

Karin:Yeah. Here is **Animefan0410:**

**Grimmjow..You actually look like your around 26. But if Uryu hasn't already gone after Orihime, then go for her, she looks legal enough. And if Matsumoto can pass for a highschool student, then you are just fine lol I have to say right now to you, I bet you didn't even have to look up the lyrics for Barbie GIrl, that song gets drilled into your head so easily..Even though that's definitely the dirty version lol Now I definitely have a question for Hitsuguya..Do you like Karin or Momo? Because I can barely tell if Karin likes you a bit or if she's just all..'wow he's kind of cool, and he knows about Ichigo so he can tell me some things.' As for you Yuzu I definitely have something to say..You look so much like your mom, and here's some candy *hands a decent sized bag of candy***

Grimmjow:Shhhh! Don't let her find out.

Mai:I see him as like 18 or 19.

Grimmjow:Orihime? That pathetic human girl? Maybe.

Toshiro:Momo hasn't been herself lately. I would say Karin.

Yuzu:Thank you very much!

Mai:Look look! Lily-chan's here! **LilyGirl101:**

***sobs uncontrollably* Kakashi forgot my requests! WHA! *pouts* Make him do what I want! Oh, Mai, don't be ashamed of your "fangirl" moment! I said pretty much the same thing at the same time! X-D Kakashi is SO cool! And, yes, he is HOT! Thanks for making him taking his mask off! And his shirt too, of COURSE!! (and don't tell byakuya, but i took pictures. i'll give you some after the show)**

****

Oh, Shiro-chan, we're going to have so much fun! Don't be afraid of a rollercoaster! Well...you can be afraid...I'll be probably be scared too...I won't kill Unohana...don't worry. Hey...what's YOUR house like? You've been to my house, but I've never been to yours!

Thanks for dancing with me, Neko-neko-chan, Soi-chan! I had fun! That's one of my favorite songs! And you girls can sing!! Don't worry, Soi-chan, I'm kinda obsessed with Neko-neko-chan too! She is so cool! And, I'm a total black cat lover!

Yay! Shiro-kun is coming! He's so adorable! And when he gets mad! He's just so cute! I still have those charms for his zanpakto...:-)Ok, ask Shiro-kun why he likes watermelon so much? And I DARE him to dress up like a girl for a week! And send me pictures!

Ask Carrot-top why he loses so many battles, if he's so damn bad-**! Also, tell him that his zanpakto is the bomb. Tell Karin-chan she rocks, and tell Yuzu-chan that she and I are WAY alike when it comes to always cooking and cleaning!

Also, I have a "dare" for you, Mai! Not really, more like a fun project! You and me are going to dress up in cat-girl maid outfits for the day! Let's see how much we can distract our guys from whatever they happen to be doing. Oh yeah...I've been spending so much time on Shiro-chan. When I'm done at his house, wanna go out, just you and me? Girls' night out, yeah!

Wow, this was really long this time...

**Signed with love and lemons,  
Lily-chan!**

Mai:Oh my dear lord! We forgot! Forgive me!*sobs*

Jushiro:I'll find him!*disappears. comes in with Kakashi*

Kakashi:*draws* It's a flower. *very well drawn picture*

Mai:You are gonna teach her jutsus too.

Kakashi:Okay.

Mai:I like black cats too, but they scare my mom.

Toshiro:I like watermelons because they are good and what?! Dress like a girl!?

Mai:Do it!*rips Toshiro's clothes off and puts girls clothes on him*

Toshiro:Damn you to hell.

Mai:It doesn't hurt anymore. Cousin Ichigo, you are up.

Toshiro:Cousin?! As in you two are related!? And Karin too!

Mai:Oh yeah. We are family!

Ichigo:I lose, but I get stronger and defeat them. Zangetsu says thanks.

Karin:Thanks.

Yuzu:I guess we are a lot a like!

Mai:I'll gladly wear those outfits!*changes into it*And I would love to have a girl's night out!

Jushiro:And me?

Mai:Do you have a v.j.?

Jushiro:No.

Grimmjow:Then stop acting like you do! Is that a new outfit?

Mai:Noo! I wear this everyday!

Grimmjow:Since when?

Mai:It was sarcasm, idiot!

Grimmjow:.....*looks up skirt*

Mai:*kicks*

Ulquiorra:Wow! This is a nice treat to arrive upon.*stares at Mai's legs and drools*

Mai:*slaps him*

Grimmjow:We belong together now! We are both cat-like.

Mai:If you don't shut your mouth in five seconds I will kill you.

Jushiro:**Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**... apology accepted...  
Shiro-chan is coming?? *Fangirl squel*  
Wait if Ichigo is coming tomorrow, will he read that review i just posted?? Please don't let him!! Like i said before, I prefer my head connected to my shoulders...  
I have a question for Karin: Do you like Shiro-chan?? People seem to think you do..  
Oh and Shiro-chan, i have a dare for you : I dare you to parade around seretei in a snow cone costume making snow cones for everyone with Hyournimaru**

**That's all i have to say, for now...**

Mai:Ichi! Don't read!

Ichigo:I wanna see!

Karin:I kinda like him....

Mai:Go Shiro-chan. Give me one first.

Toshiro:Fine.*gives Mai and Sougyo snow cones*

Yuzu:Here is **katizo terusei:**

**Charisei: Histugaya-kun! *hugs*  
Katizo: i'm bored. J.J. do the caramelldansen  
Charisei: oh and Grimmjow has to do the cha cha slide.  
Katizo: *pets grimmjow* please Grimmy-kun  
Charisei: *hugs Ulquiorra & sits on his lap* Ulqui-kun please make him do it  
Katizo: oh and when is your birthday Ukitake-kun?  
both: peace!**

J.J.:Fine. I'll dance.*dances carmelldansen*

Grimmjow:*does the cha cha slide*

Ulquiorra:*blushes and hugs Charisei*

Jushiro:My birthday is December 21.

Mai:Two days after mine.

Toshiro:A day after mine.

Toshiro:**DarkDanteJ:**

**LOL your series is fking hilarious and i have dares for everyon *smiles evilly)  
Ulquiorra:i dare you to go kiss momo while charging a cero in your mouth  
Grimmjow:i dare you to spread a rumor that your going to rape ichigo in the seirita so that when he comes there and somebody tells him you can chase him and maybe he'll try to fight you off  
Mai:i dare you to kick every man(or male animal that can talk)in their nuts and drag them into your rape closet xD  
Jushiro:i dare you to give Toshiro croch-flavored candy  
Ichigo:i dare you to walk into the rape closet with Ulquiorra and Grimmjow and make orihime watch  
Yuzu:i dare you to go kiss Jinta on the mouth cuz he has a crush on you  
Karin:i dare you to go into the rape closet with toshiro except you'll be raping him  
J.J.:i dare you to hide 10 grenades in ichigo's pants when he isn't looking  
Byakuya:i dare you to use ur bankai(dropping it)in somebody's pants then then lock them in the rape closet with sebonzakura(bankai form) and Yamamoto's Ryuujin Jakka and your choices for said people are Ichigo or Yoruichi but if you do hurt Yoruichi-Dono i'll kill you with my zanpaktou(I have a bankai sucka)!**

Ulquiorra:Can I hurt her?

Toshiro:You will regret it.

Ulquiorra:*goes for his dare. returns*I only burn the inside of her mouth.

Toshiro:There better not be anymore damage.

Grimmjow:But if I do that my rep will be ruined!

Mai:Grimmjow? What rep?

Grimmjow:*goes and spread rumors*

Mai:*gets phone call* Hi Rukia!

Rukia:I heard from Byakuya who heard from Renji who heard from Rangiku who heard fro-

Mai:Get on with this.*gets another call* I'll three way this.

Byakuya:The cat guy is going to rape Kurosaki. They were supposedly lovers until Aizen found out and he didn't like it because he was already with him. So he was cheating. Ichigo didn't want anything to do with him anymore-

Rukia:So the cat wants to rape him to claim him forever! That's all I had to say. Tell him he better not touch my Ichi.*hangs up*

Byakuya:So...what are you wearing?

Mai:A very sexy maid cat outfit.*hangs up*

Byakuya:*comes running* You weren't lying!

Mai:Well this is part of my dare.*kicks Byakuya and takes him to the rape closet* Come here!

Byakuya:Oww! Mai! Too rough!

Grimmjow:I'm back.

Mai:*comes out* What took you so long?

Grimmjow:I was getting a snow cone.

Mai:You know what I heard. That you are in a love triangle with Ichigo and Aizen.

Rukia:It's a fangirl's dream!

Mai:A sick and twisted one. *kicks Grimmjow and drags him*

Grimmjow:Damn it! It hurts but this is the greatest moments of my life!

Jushiro:Byakuya, calm down. Its only a dare. Sheesh. Here Shiro-chan. *gives him crotch candy*

Toshiro:Blegh! You nasty, old pervert! You want me to taste yours huh? Pedophile.

Jushiro:No it was a-*is kicked by Mai and taken into the closet*

Mai:Payback for chapter 2 suka!

Jushiro:Ahhh! Mai! Too hard!!*comes out really pale*

Mai:Ulquiorra! Come here!

Ulquiorra:No! It'll hurt!

Mai:I won't kick to hard!

Ulquiorra:You won't be gentle!

Mai:Don't be such a pussy!

Ulquiorra:Don't be such a dick!*is kicked and dragged into the closet* Ah! Mai! No! Yes! More!

Mai:Toshiro. Your turn!*kicks and drags*

Toshiro:My innocence! I was still a virgin!*comes out*

Mai:I'm done!

Grimmjow:If I have to go in there then, I'm on top!*goes into the rape closet*

Ulquiorra:Please, not twice in one day!*Mai throws him into the closet*

Ichigo:*walks in, making Orihime watch*Oh God! Grimmjow released his sword! Ulquiorra looks like he's is pain!

Orihime:Ulquiorra! He was my back up in case Ichigo never wants to go out with me!

Ichigo:Looks like he is starting to enjoy it.

Mai:*pushes Ichigo in*

Ichigo:No! Grimmjow!

Mai:Oh I can't resist. *grabs Jushiro, Byakuya, and gets Kenpachi and puts them in the closet. Throws Ichigo out* All my favorite guys!*rapes them all at once*

Kenpachi:What the fuck!?

Ulquiorra:Please, get the taste of Grimmjow out!

Byakuya:When are you going to let me be in top?

Jushiro:I'm sorry Lily-chan!

Grimmjow:Yeah!*throws Mai on bottom*

Mai:Now I'm being raped! Alright! Our raping spree is over.

Grimmjow:Damn!

Jushiro:I will not turn into a rapist again. I will not turn into a rapist again.

Yuzu:*goes kisses Jinta*

Ichigo:Yuzu!

Karin:*drags Toshiro*

Toshiro:Again?!

Ichigo:HEY!

J.J.:*drops grenades*

Ichigo:*runs to closet but explodes before he gets there*

Byakuya:Must I defile my zanpakuto in such a manner?

Mai:Unfortunately yes.

Byakuya:I choose Ichigo.

Mai:Poor boy. He has already gotten his dick exploded off. Now it's going to be senbonzakuraed.

Byakuya:Bankai!*drops it into Ichigo's pants and throws him and Ryuujin Jakka into the closet.*

Ichigo:Oh no! Please Byakuya have mercy! Ahhhh! Nooo! Nice zanpakutos!

Mai:Oh Byakuya let him out!

Byakuya:Just a few more hours.

Mai:Now or I won't ever wear this outfit ever again.

Byakuya:*lets Ichigo out*Killer.

Ichigo:*crying in Rukia's arms.*First I was insulted. Then raped. Now beaten up. Why?

Mai:We need to for the sake of the people's entertainment.

Byakuya:SURPRISE!*grabs Mai and rapes her in the closet*I'm finally on top!

Mai:I was just raped!

Byakuya:It wasn't rape because I yelled surprise. Thats the rules.

Mai:No comment.....

Toshiro:I have question.

Mai:Yes?

Toshiro:When the reviewer dared us they only said 'drag them into the rape closet'. Not rape them.

Mai:Well about Shiro-chan, once you are in there, you can't not rape. Thats why we need to know who the _rapist_ and _rapee_ are. The rapist gets the urge and it's an amazing feeling. Right you guys?

Grimmjow:Hell yeah.

Jushiro:Well yes.

Byakuya:I feel like taking you in there as we speak.

Karin:Me too!

Toshiro:.......

Mai:Before anyone gets raped again, we are ending. Goodbye! Send in your dares and stuff. No guests tomorrow! Just Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Jushiro, J.J., Byakuya, and I.


	11. Lollipop Jushiro

Mai:Hi.....

Jushiro:Where is your usual peppiness?

Mai:I'm sick. Achoo! Poor Shiro-kun! You feel like this most of the time, don't you?

Byakuya:Maybe you used up to much energy raping people!

Mai:You are one to talk, Mr. SURPRISE! and rape.

Grimmjow:I have a headache. What happened last night?

Mai:You don't want to remember. **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

***Tongue stuck to snow cone* Great... oh well,  
I have a question for Jushiro, Does my screen name sound familiar to you? I would have thought someone would have pointed that out...  
and i have a dare for Byakuya: i dare you, in the next captian's meeting, to start randomly singing the happy song, and if you don't know what it is, look it up on youtube.  
and Mai-chan: What would you say if i just saw a "I hate Byakuya" link on some website... Just a question, it may be true, it may not...**

Jushiro:I'm thinking.....

Mai:It's your freakin' zanpakuto's name!

Jushiro:I thought you were sick!

Mai:I get impatient when I'm ill. Achoo!

Byakuya:The happy song?

Mai:Do it right when Yamamoto starts speaking!

Byakuya:Alright.

Mai:An "I hate Byakuya" link. Well whoever made it is a stupid ass prick with a stick up his ass.

Grimmjow:You know thats how they describe your boyfriend right?

Mai:Then they are a gay bunch of freaking faggots that suck dick.

Grimmjow:They call him that too.

Mai:*punches Grimmjow* Who asked you anyway? If it is real, I'd like to see it.*coughs*

Ulquiorra:Not much you can do at that state. Here is **LilyGirl101:**

**AAHH! The rape closet! Shiro-chan told me about that! I have nightmares...*shies away* Mai-chan, you're scaring me!! Shiro-chan...*sobs* Mai-chan, that was scary! Why'd you do that to them, DarkDanteJ? *sobs* I feel so scarred...at...at least Shiro-chan isn't a rapist anymore...right? *doesn't think that's a very good excuse for what she just witnessed* Shiro-chan...how could you do that?**

****

Mai-chan, if you keep raping people, I'm going to go away! And I want that costume back! You don't get it again until you've learned some respect for the opposite gender! Also, you don't get a girl's night out until you apologize! To EVERYONE! ESPECIALLY SHIRO-KUN! HE DIDN'T NEED THAT! *starts sobbing again* I was so scared!

Thanks, Hatake-chan, for the drawing! It was a *goes off to learn some jutsus* I have a feeling I am going to have a very good time! *slinsg to Kakashi's arm* You're the only person who hasn't been in the rape closet...you're the only person who isn't scaring me right now...*sobs* I'm scared, Hatake-chan!

No guests next time? *wipes her tears* That's a little sad. OK, bring Matsumoto on sometime, OK? I really like Matsuomoto...Oh, if Grimmjow-chan is still lonely, I'll stay with him after the show! You guys always seem to leave him alone all by himself!

I'm going off to learn jutsus from Ha-chan (gave Kakashi a new nickname) Bring him on the show again sometime!

***runs from the room sobbing*  
Signed,  
Scared as h e l l,  
LilyGirl101 (I have also revoked your rights to call me "Lily-chan", Mai, JUSHIRO)**

Jushiro:Forgive me!

Mai:Me too! What the hell was wrong with us that day? I mean I know I have my moments, but I don't go as crazy as raping 10 times in less than an hour. I'm sorry every male I've raped, especially Shiro-kun. Grimmjow doesn't stay here. He usually goes off somewhere.

Grimmjow:I'd like to hang out with you.

Jushiro & Mai:Noo! We are supposed to hang out with her!*cry uncontrollably*

Kenpachi:You guys! I found something interesting out.

Mai:If this involves pee, please don't share.

Kenpachi:But it explains what happened yesterday!

Jushiro:Lets shed some light and clear our names slightly.

Mai:What he said.

Kenpachi:I gave my monthly sample of pee to Mayuri for drug screening that day and he found some kind of drug in it.

Grimmjow:Drug screening?

Kenpachi:Yeah. The old fart makes me ever since I got high once and destroyed Japan. They call the Great Kanto Earthquake.

Mai:What kind of drug?

Kenpachi:A mix of ex and weed. Enough to make everyone want to fuck for hours on end.

Grimmjow:What the hell?! We have to get L to investigate this shit!

Byakuya:If they found you positive on the drugs then why aren't you in jail?

Kenpachi:Mayuri had an accident and doesn't remember anything.....

Mai:Jushiro, you should say you are sorry to us.

Jushiro:Why?

Mai:This is your Q&A and you put us out on the open. I mean we were drugged!

Jushiro:I'm sorry everyone!

L:I'm here to solve the case.

Mai:L.

L:Sumiko.

Mai:Hmph!

Jushiro:They have a grudge between them. Mai was accused of something and L didn't even try to defend her after being friends for years.

Mai:You know I didn't do it!

L:There was an 88% percent chance it was you.

Mai:Doesn't matter because you were wrong!*sticks out tongue*Now go do your stupid job and find out who did it!

L:I am going to introduce someone first. **Animefan0410:**

**Poor Yuzu had to be exposed to that talk of rape, me thinks Ichigo should have been a good brother and cover her ears, or Mai could have been a good family member and cover her ears...Also I think Chad should be the next guest..You could talk to him in spanish (with subtitles of course lol). :D**

**I can't think of any dares or questions right now, sorry lol**

Mai:Well I knew about that stuff when I was her age!

Kenpachi:Don't you mean younger?

Mai:Isn't everyone a smart ass these days?*sneezes*

J.J.:I guess Chad and Rangiku are coming.

Mai:Nobody bothers to say bless you!

All:*yell right in her ear* BLESS YOU!

Ulquiorra:I'm back from the bathroom.

Mai:Who cares though?_Cough cough cough!_

Jushiro:We hired a detective to find out who drugged us. Now to mention it you and he look-

Kenpachi:**HanakoAnimeaddict:**

**Question! What does Senbonzakura's spirit from's face look like?**

**I have no dares, but a request. May I borrow Ichigo for a birthday present?**

Kuraiki:Senbonzakura's mask looks tough and fierce but he is really a pretty boy like Byakuya.

Mai:Get back into my head!

Kuraiki:Only because all these people disgust me.

All:......

Grimmjow:That was real weird. **DarkDanteJ:**

**LOL that was hilarious i hope everyone enjoyed my dares!...if not...i really could care less cuz that was funny!now for more mentally-scaring dares  
Grimmjow:i dare you to drag and rape Zaraki in the rape closet  
Ulquiorra:i dare you to use ur Segunda Etapa and Lanza Del Relampago on every man you see and aim at their nuts  
Jushiro:i dare to dress up as candy(naked xD) and gift yourself to Yamamoto from Aizen(just put aizen's name on the card)and see if he starts licking you lol  
J.J.:good...i dare you to use the temporary power of garganta i'm giving you and teleport from every women and man's pants and Yell suprise!  
Byakuya:i dare you to lock every person you hate(Excluding Yoruichi unless you want a zanpaktou being run down your throat)in the torture closet with senbonzakura(Bankai form)  
Mai:i dare you to go pet captain komamoura and then drop an infinite amount of Nuke bombs in any man of your choice's pants Enjoy!**

Mai:Hahaha.

All:*stares*

Mai:You have to admit, they were funny and to an extent, enjoyable.

Grimmjow:True.

Ulquiorra:Not for everyone.

Byakuya:I liked it when I got to hurt Kurosaki.

Grimmjow:Looks like we got a fan of the rape closet......

Kenpachi:*gets scared and nervous after reading last chapter and hearing about Grimmjow*Sh-shouldn't we preserve the crime scene?

L:There wouldn't be clues in there. Besides I've checked many times.

Grimmjow:I'm sorry about this since I don't completely despise you. *drags him into closet and rapes him*

Mai:At least he's a therapist and can work through his trauma.

Kenpachi:It was horrible! I'm scared.*looks like an innocent child*

Mai:Poor Kenny-penny!

Ulquiorra:*goes segunda etapa and gets Lanza*I would apologize but I enjoy it.*hits all the guys in the nuts*

Jushiro:Ouchie!*rolling on the floor in pain*

Mai:J.J., get ice packs and cough drops.

J.J.:*gives the guys ice packs. Gives Mai cough drops*

Mai:Shiro-kun can you do the dare?

Jushiro:I don't want to!

Mai:I don't want to work with dumby head L but I have to!

Jushiro:You don't understand! You've never had to take off your clothes for people!

Mai:I hope I never have to.

Jushiro:*dresses up like candy*

Mai:3, 2, 1....

Jushiro:AHHH! HE LICKED ME! HE ACTUALLY LICKED ME! In a bad place too!

All:......

Mai:I saw it coming though.

J.J.:*pops out everywhere*Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

Mai:Go do it somewhere else now.

Byakuya:They all won't fit in the torture closet though. Ichigo, Renji, Gin........*crams up both closets with a lot of people and throws Senbonzakura in there*

All in closet:Agh!

Ulquiorra:What have I done to you?

Grimmjow:Yeah what did I do?!

Mai:*pets Komamura and sticks bombs in Omeada's pants* He had the nerve to call me fat!

Byakuya:Idiot**. **Our next person is **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: Ukitake-kun hates me. *dramatic tears*  
Charisei: *smacks Grimmjow* don't rape Ulqui-kun again.  
Katizo: *gasps* my birthday is a month before Ukitake-kun's  
Charisei: mine is two months after Hitsugaya's  
Katizo: oh Mia-chan how was it with Byakuya?  
Charisei: Katizo your a perv  
Katizo: NO! i'm just a curious virgin**

Jushiro:No! I don't hate you! You are my best friend!

Byakuya:Who isn't?

Jushiro:Well you just got crossed off.

Grimmjow:What the fuck!? It was a dare. Anyway it wasn't as enjoyable as Kenpachi....

Kenpachi:Mai, help me! I don't like guys.

Mai:He doesn't like men. Achoo!

Grimmjow:Maybe another try will change your mind.

Mai:Why are you hitting on him? You said you weren't gay.

Ulquiorra:He recently got out of the closet.

Kenpachi:No!

Mai:You can't blame him Kenny.

Kenpachi:Blegh!

Mai:My time with Byakuya, it's a little too graphic....

L:Whore. I have found out who did it. It was....That guy looks like me.

Ulquiorra:Yeah we do look alike. Or I'm high again.

L:No we do look like twins.

Mai:Who did it?

L:It was-

Kenpachi:He keeps winking at me Mai!

Mai:Grimmjow, stop! You act like he is the only hot person around! There is me.

Grimmjow:I'm the conceited one. You've rejected me to many times anyway.

L:Am I going to-

Jushiro:Did everyone forget that I was licked!?

Ulquiorra:L, we should go get a blood test.

L:Yes.

J.J.:Who drugged our odd friends? Are L and Ulquiorra related? Will Grimmjow actually get a hook up? How will Rangiku and Chad react to the strange surroundings? Will Lily-chan forgive Mai and Shiro? Find out next time on Q&A With Jushiro Ukitake!

Mai:Shut up J.J. You are being an annoying narrator now. Achoo.

J.J.:Will Mai ever get better? Or will she stay sick for the rest of her meaningless life like Jushiro.? Will she ever stop being a bitch?

Mai:Do you want me to tell everyone your embarrassing full name?

J.J.:I have to go!*runs*

Mai:Bye everyone.


	12. Newly Found Twins

J.J.:Hello. Welcome to the Q&A. Mai and Jushiro aren't feeling so happy right now so I will take over.

Grimmjow:Why not me?

J.J.:She doesn't trust you enough ever since the incident at the mall.

Grimmjow:I swear I didn't know that $400 watch was in my pocket.

Ulquiorra:What about me? I'm trustworthy.

J.J.:Mai gave me a list of warnings. First, don't let anyone skip their dares or questions. Second, NEVER, in any circumstance do I EVER give you full run of the show. Thirdly, don't let L watch novelas. She didn't explain that one....

Grimmjow:What the fuck is a novela?

Chad:A novela is a Spanish soap opera. It is usually short only lasting a few months unlike American's were they last years.

J.J.:Hello Chad. Como estas?(how are you?)

Chad:Bien.(good.)

Rangiku:Watcha sayin'?

J.J.:Read the damn subs!

Rangiku:I'm a little too drunk right now.

Grimmjow:*thinks:Now's my chance.*Hey my name's Grimmjow. How-

Rangiku:Not interested.

Kenpachi:Turn down by a drunk girl is bad. Turn down by a drunk Rangiku, thats not even possible.

Grimmjow:You are so good then get her.

Kenpachi:Already have.

Rangiku:First is **DarkDanteJ:**

**SUP i see you've enjoyed my dares once again(still not caring enough tho) Now to mentally scar all of you!  
Ulquiorra:i dare you to take a bunch of kindergarden age kids and stick them in rape closet with Aizen then shrink down to microscopic size and take them on a field trip through Byakuya's lower area  
Byakuya:i dare you to stick you and Senbonzakura in the rape closet and see who gets raped(Bankai form)  
Mai:i dare you to... rape yamamoto's beard and say you though it was his crotch on his face  
Chad:i dare you to run around the Soul society and yell "I've got balls of steel"  
Grimmjow:i dare you to release Pantera in the rape closet while filled with every male,female and animal(EXCEPT Yoruichi unless you want to DIE)  
Rangiku:i dare you get naked and hop around with ur HUGE **  
Jushiro:I dare you to go on a killing spree in the soul soceity and you can't deny it unless you want me to tell your zanpaktou what you do when their sleeping(their little boyd and ur a rapist...Concidence? i think not!)  
Zaraki:i dare you cut of ur nutts and hide them in mai or byakuya's food  
and LilyGirl101 why did i do that to them? because i like to see their horrified faces after torture and enjoy my dares.**

Ulquiorra:Oh God. J.J. is at that age.

J.J.:Nope. I'm preschool age.

Ulquiorra:Good. Can't let anything happen to you. Mai left it on my list. I really don't want to scar those poor children, but I have to.

L:It seems you are not completely heartless.

Ulquiorra:Unfortunately not.*gets little kids and Aizen*

Aizen:Its an early birthday gift!

Grimmjow:*thinks:I have to work under this guy.*

Ulquiorra:*thinks:Aizen I no longer worship you*

L:Ulquiorra, I have to arrest you on the charge of accessory in the rape of those children.

Kenpachi:You bastard! Yachiru is in there.*goes in, kicks Aizen's ass, and rescues kids before anything bad could happen*

L:Since nothing bad happened to them, you are free to go. Aizen, you are under arrest for the attempted rape of those children. Anything you say or do.......*takes Aizen to prison where he will become someone's girlfriend*

Byakuya:Here goes. Bankai*goes into closet*

Grimmjow:Mai's going to pissed about that one.

Byakuya:*comes out expressionless*

J.J.:I guess this kid really likes the rape closet.

L:Unfortunately.

J.J.:You talk like Ulqui!

L:Looks like Mai and Jushiro can't do their dares.

Grimmjow:Why do we always have to involve the closet?*releases Pantera with everyone inside*

Rangiku:I'm all sober now! I wish I wasn't for this dare.....*dances naked*

Chad:..........*goes to do dare*

Kenpachi:No!

J.J.:You have to.

Kenpachi:*does dare and puts it in Byakuya's*Good thing they invented something for this.

Byakuya:Bleghh! Ewww! God that was disgusting!

L:**LilyGirl101:**

**Mai, Jushiro, you guys aren't allowed to hang out with me anymore. You've traumatized me too badly. And I'm scared...if I'm in the same room...with JUSHIRO...ALONE...what would happen to me? *starts sobbing again* I TRUSTED YOU TWO! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THAT! I DON'T CARE IF YOU WERE DRUGGED OR NOT! LEARN SOME SELF-RESTRAINT DAMN IT!I will not forgive you two! It will take many apologies to forgive them, and they will need to PROVE to me that they are not...*breaks off sobbing***

****

Ooh, ask Rangiku-chan if she wants to go shopping with me! Some really great stores just opened near my house, and none of my other friends like me right now...(also not at the same time as Grimmjow)

To answer your question, J-chan, I'll hook up with Grimmjow!! I like him too!! I kinda always have. He's pretty freaking hot! Besides, my recent betrayal by Jushiro has taught me...never go for the innocent ones *wipes away her tears* Not too sound mean, but Grimmjow isn't too innocent...

Signed with love and lust,  
LilyGirl101 (Grimmjow, J.J., Matsumoto and Chad can call me "Lily-chan", if they want to)

**P.S.- Can I have J.J. for a day? He's MY kind of little brother!**

J.J.:The reason they aren't here is because they are in rehab. They are trying to get better for you! Mai wanted me to tell you she is really sorry. Jushiro wanted me to tell you he is even more sorry than Mai. Mai said that isn't even possible. Jushiro said that he wasn't even going to argue this point. Mai said because she's right and wants even more forgiveness than he does. Jushiro told her to be quiet. Mai told him he wasn't nice. Then Jushiro ran crying. Then Mai cried.

Ulquiorra:All they want is to be forgiven! I might start crying for them!

L:Yes. Me too.

Rangiku:I'd love to go shopping with you!

J.J.:I'll go with you after the show, Lily-chan.

Chad:Here is **Animefan0410:**

**Just great, Grimmjow's now gay...*smacks that Dante person for making him rape Kenpachi* That rape closet thing has gotten really old -_- I have a question for you Grimmjow, are you now gay do to being raped by guys and being forced to rape guys, or is it just because of your failier to get women?**

****

I feel bad for you Kenpachi, but come on, be a man. You are THE Kenpachi Zaraki! You are the most kis a_ss captain. Also, you rock L! *gives bag of sweets and a slice of strawberry cake*

**I have a question for Chad and Rangiku. Chad: How did your parents meet?  
Rangiku: Can I get a picture of you? Because you are sexy..To bad you still want Gin :)**

Grimmjow:I'm bi. I think it is because I was forced to rape guys and maybe the rejection.....

Kenpachi:You could never understand. That has never happened to me before! I pray that it never does again.

L:It will if you go to prison.

J.J.:Now that is an over-exaggerated statement. It's true men are more likely to have that happen to them in jail, but it is not as often or bad as t.v. shows it to be.

L:You are very intelligent for a preschooler.

J.J.:Mai _is _my sister.

L:True. Thank you for the sweets.

Chad:My parents met in Japan. My mother came from Mexico.

Rangiku:Here it is. I'll even autograph it.*hands him photo* Thanks! I think I should be a Victoria's Secrets model!

Guys except J.J.:*drool*

Byakuya:**katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: I GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND!  
Charisei: i hate him  
Katizo: *gasps* how could you hate Gaara-kun?!?!  
Charisei: i hate every Naruto character  
Katizo: okay um...Kenpachi i wanna see you dance the macarena  
Charisei: hyper garbage. Grimmjow, give Katizo a hug  
Katizo: Ulquiorra take Charisei to the rape closet  
Charisei: it's not rape if your willing**

J.J.:Mai loves Gaara. He is her second favorite.

Kenpachi:*dances macarena*

Grimmjow:*hugs Katizo but doesn't let go*

Ulquiorra:I would never take such a lady to that hideous closet. I'll take her to a bedroom.

J.J.:Not mine!

Byakuya:Yeah, he going to do that kind of stuff on a race car bed.

J.J.:*sticks out tongue***Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**Wow, and the link is true, i looked at it, and i agree..  
Mai-chan, i think your cold is contagious! After i got done reading, i sneezed like 4 times..  
Matsumoto and Chad will be here? Intresting, i can't think of questions for them at the moment...  
WAIT! i have a dare for Matsumoto: I dare you to NOT drink sake for an entire month...  
and Jushiro: SHAME ON YOU! Can't even remember your own zanpakuto's name...  
I really wanna know J.J's real name, i have multiple guesses on what it is, like  
Jesse james  
Actually that's the only one i have...  
Great, Kenpachi is acting like a little girl,  
THE WORLD IS ENDING!**

Byakuya:Please share it with us. So we can make those ignorant morons pay.

Rangiku:No sake! Then I will have to resort to actually working!

J.J.:It isn't Jesse James. I wished it was.

Kenpachi:It was a moment of weakness!

J.J.:Yeah. Oh Mai sent me a text saying she will reveal my name in the next chapter.*sweat drops.* Oh no.

Byakuya:I already know it. Ironic and suitable if I may say. *smirks*

J.J.:Mai said to wipe that smirk off your face and if you don't she smack your lips off.

L:Violent whore-

Ulquiorra:Trash.

L:I was about to say that.

Ulquiorra:We really are brothers.

L:Yes.

Byakuya:Next time Gin, Tousen, and Wonderweiss will be here. Hopefully Mai-chan and Jushiro will be back.


	13. I'm a Gummy Bear!

Mai:Hi my loyal readers and reviewers. Here we are, fresh out of rehab. I think it worked. Don't you Shiro-kun?

Jushiro:Yes I do. Hello traitors.

Gin:What I hear from LilyGirl is that you two are the traitors.

Mai & Shiro:No!*Mai goes into emo mode. Jushiro is hugging his picture of LilyGirl*

Wonderweiss:Ah. Uh. Ah.

Mai:*snaps out of emo mode*You are so cute!*pinches cheeks*

Tousen:You aren't allowed to touch him as you are impure and unjustified.

Mai:But I went to rehab....

Jushiro:We are all better now. I won't even look at a girl! Or guy for that matter.....

Mai:I feel so much better. I feel like being respectful and not harassing my Byakuya in any manner. We are going to be in a healthy relationship.

Byakuya:I don't know what to say.

Mai:Say you'll forgive me.

Byakuya:No. I won't forgive you until Lily-chan does.

Mai:*cries*

Gin:Poor kid. Our first guest today is **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: GIN-KUN!*hugs*  
Charisei: um...okay today J.J. i wanna know if you'll go out with my little sister Karahime?  
Katizo: she has brown hair, green eyes, and is a hyper ninja like me!!  
Charisei: oh sometime soon bring Chad back please  
Katizo: *cries* Gaara-kun raped me  
Charisei: i told you he'd try to  
Katizo: okay if Mia is back make her sing it's my life by bon jovi**

Gin:*hugs even harder*

J.J.:Yeah I'll go out with her. How does Chuck E. Cheese's sound? I'll pay!

Mai:J.J. looks like this: dark onyx eyes, dark black hair, and really brown skin. Typical Mexican features. We look a lot alike except I have light brown eyes and light brown skin.

J.J.:Chad and me were talking Spanish.

Mai:Y que dice?(whats he say?)

J.J.:Pues no mucho.(Well not a lot.)

Mai:Cuando piensas que va regresar?(When do you think he is coming back?)

J.J.:Con las cosas que hicio....no pronto. (with the things they had him do.....not soon.)

Mai:He'll be back very soon. Now for my ain't a song for the broken-hearted  
No silent prayer for the faith-departed  
I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd  
You're gonna hear my voice  
When I shout it out loud  
_  
_It's my life  
It's now or never  
I ain't gonna live forever  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
(It's my life)  
My heart is like an open highway  
Like Frankie said  
I did it my way  
I just wanna live while I'm alive  
It's my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground  
For Tommy and Gina who never backed down  
Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake  
Luck ain't even lucky  
Got to make your own breaks

It's my life  
And it's now or never  
I ain't gonna live forever  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
(It's my life)  
My heart is like an open highway  
Like Frankie said  
I did it my way  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
'Cause it's my life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out  
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down  
_  
_It's my life  
And it's now or never  
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
(It's my life)  
My heart is like an open highway  
Like Frankie said  
I did it my way  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
_  
_It's my life  
And it's now or never  
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
(It's my life)  
My heart is like an open highway  
Like Frankie said  
I did it my way  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
'Cause it's my life!

Tousen:**LilyGirl101:**

**Oh, why don't you like Gaara-chan, Charisei? He's great! He's awesome! He's the coolest! He's is BEYOND cool! And he's so handsome!**

****

I still don't forgive Mai and Jushiro. There's a difference between saying and doing, so when I see it, I'll believe it. If they aren't back next time, I won't care. They can take a hike! I don't trust them anymore. I won't ever trust them again...not like I used to...

And, J-chan, I won't laugh at your name, no matter how odd or silly it is! *hugs* Love you lots! Nothing will make me love you less! *hugs even tighter*

Oh, ask Gin-chan to sing and dance to the Gummy Bear Song with me! And Tousen-chan...just let me stare at him...all day long...and I'll be happy...as long as I can just stare at him...

Without Mai and Jushiro, I feel so lonely...does anyone want to hang out when I'm done with J-chan? Hopefully a boy...my broken heart needs fixing...he was my first boyfriend in a while and he...betrayed me like that...*goes off to her emo corner with a knife*

Sorry to be so emo this time...their betrayal really hit me hard...

**Signed with love and lost,  
Lily-chan**

Mai:Oh my God I love Gaara too! Everytime I see him I just want to hug him! He is our next guest.

Jushiro & Mai:Please forgive us! Please please please! We are so so so so so so sorry!

Mai:Shiro-kun as testament that we are good and clean and not rapists we are going to destroy the rape closet!

Jushiro:It's the only right thing to do! All waves, rise now and become my shield. Lighting, strike now and become my blade. Sougyo no kotowari.

Mai:Consume in darkness! Bend reality at my will, Kuraiki!*destroy rape closet with dark flames*

Jushiro:*strikes closet with lightening*

Grimmjow:Thats why we obey.

Gin:Then I guess I better do my dare! Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear  
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!  
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Chummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear.  
I'm a Jelly bear, Cuz I'm a Gummy bear,  
Oh I'm a movin', groovin', Jammin', Singin' Gummy Bear

Oh Yeah!

(Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy bear)

Bing ding ba doli party  
Zing bing ba doli party  
Breding ba doli party party pop [Pop! ]

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear  
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!  
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Chummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear.  
I'm a Jelly bear, Cuz I'm a Gummy bear,  
Oh I'm a movin', groovin', Jammin', Singin' Gummy Bear

Oh Yeah!

(Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy bear)

Beba bi Duba duba yum yum  
Beba bi Duba duba yum yum  
Beba bi Duba duba yum yum yum  
Three times you can bite me

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear  
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!  
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Chummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear.  
I'm a Jelly bear, Cuz I'm a Gummy bear,  
Oh I'm a movin', groovin', Jammin', Singin' Gummy Bear

Oh Yeah!

(Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy bear)

Beba bi Duba duba yum yum  
Beba bi Duba duba yum yum  
Beba bi Duba duba yum yum  
Three times you can bite me

Oh, I'm a Gummy Bear  
Yes, I'm a Gummy Bear!  
Oh, I'm a Yummy, Chummy, Funny, Lucky Gummy Bear.  
I'm a Jelly bear, Cuz I'm a Gummy bear,  
Oh I'm a movin', groovin', Jammin', Singin' Gummy Bear

Oh Yeah!

Haha Duba duba yum yum  
Haha Duba duba yum yum  
Haha Duba duba yum yum  
Three times you can bite me

(Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy Gummy bear)

Mai:Thats cute! I need more girls on the Q&A.

Byakuya:I will hang out with you. Their betrayal hurt me as well.

Wonderweiss:Uh. Ah. Oh.

Mai:You are too freaking adorable! *squeezes him in a tight embrace*

Byakuya:*glares* I don't care.

Tousen:How can I stare? I'm blind.

Grimmjow:Why do you have to make us feel sorry for you?

Tousen:I was simply stating-

Grimmjow:Shut your mouth!

Mai:Hey! Why do you two hate each other so much........Oh yeah he cut your arm off.

Grimmjow:Shit! He did that to! I really hate this fucker.

Jushiro:I am sure we can resolve this without violence.

Tousen:*ignores them***HanakoAnimeaddict:**

**Gin, what colors are your eyes? Sometimes it's red or green or yellow! And how is working with Aizen justice, Kaname?**

Gin:I guess my eyes change colors a lot.*sly smiles*

Tousen:As I said before, I follow the path least soaked in blood.

Mai:Actually, by provoking this war, you've shed more blood. How is starting a war making things more peaceful?

Tousen:If we achi-

Mai:Do you think Aizen would have done things your way? He would have killed you once he sees fit.

Tousen:I-I

Mai:You were wrong. The path you follow is not justice. It is misguided.

All:.........

Mai:I'm sorry Kaname.

Tousen:........

Jushiro:You have just shocked us. I've never heard you argue a point so fiercely.

Mai:When I get started on this kind of topics there's no stopping me.

Gin:I did it because I wanted power in case you were wondering.

Mai:That was pretty obvious. Wonderweiss, would you be a doll and introduce the next person.

Wonderweiss:Ah! Uh ah uh.(Sure! **Animefan0410:**

***clears throat, and wipes bit of drool from my mouth* Thank you rangiku, and you definitely should be a model for Victoria Secrets. Also, it stinks you can't drink sake for two months..But she never said anything about other kinds off drinks! *gives a card for a years supply of any one alcoholic beverage***

**Hurray Wonderweiss will be here! *gives him a bag of candy* Eat it all up so you can be all hyper, because I'm daring you to play with Ulquiorra real rough like. As in playfully tackling him, forcing him to give you piggyback rides, and jumping on him. Just as some examples :)**

Mai:Wonderweiss thanks you for the candy!

Wonderweiss:*turns super hyper*

Ulquiorra:Oh no!*is tackled and is giving Wonderweiss piggyback rides*

Wonderweiss:Ah!

Ulquiorra:He is playing my hair, Mai! Make him stop!

Mai:Aren't you two so precious! *takes photos*

Ulquiorra:Damn you trash.

Mai:Thats not helping. **DarkDanteJ:**

**AnimeFan how the hell can you smack me?go to hell and if you won't go there i'll push you in a room full of naked rapists  
Onto my mentally scarring dares  
Grimmjow:i dare you to try to get yamamoto to do it with you  
Ulquiorra:i dare you learn yoga and stick your head up your **  
J.J.:i dare you to stick your head up grimmjow's **  
Jushiro:i dare you to do the original dare i gave you last chapter  
Mai: i dare you to do the dare i gave you last chapter as well  
Kenpachi:i dare you fight ichigo until one of you are dead then rape his dead body xD  
Byakuya:i dare you to go tell yoruichi you love her(you hurt her i'll kill you while you're sleeping or taking a sht  
Tousen:i dare you to walk into captain kourmoura's room naked  
Gin:i dare you to tell everyone the truth behind your ever lasting smile  
Wonderweiss:i dare you to learn the art of rape  
and feel better Mai-dono**

Grimmjow:But he's an old bastard.*goes to Yamamoto* He didn't hesitate....

Ulquiorra:Mai-chan actually knows a little yoga.

Mai:Yup. Remain limber and stretch.

Ulquiorra:*does his dare* That is disgusting.

J.J.:But I'm a kid! How could you make a kid do that!?*runs*

Grimmjow:I don't take things up my ass!*runs away*

*both trip into each other and accidently do dare*

Kenpachi:Fine. Only because it involves fighting.*does dare* Ha! I didn't rape him!

Mai:You know what I have to do.*uses Kuraiki to torture him*

Kenpachi:Damn it! Ahhh!

Tousen:*walks into Komamura's naked*

Komamura:.......Sorry I don't go for men.

Mai:Shiro-kun.....

Jushiro:Mai-chan, I have to do this if you don't.

Mai:Well I guess you'll have to shock me.

Grimmjow:He isn't going to shock you, he's going to electrocute you.

Jushiro:*attacks Mai with Sougyo no Kotowari* Sorry Mai-chan!

Mai:AHH!*thinks:this is how he felt the first chapter!*

Jushiro:My dare, well I have not touched them! They would never believe you!

Gin:Its not like you can lie and keep secrets from your zanpakuto. I've tried.

Tousen:Does this mean you aren't going to do your dare?

Jushiro:I refuse.

Ulquiorra:Who's going to torture him? Only theirs work for torture.

Grimmjow:Let's all just kick his ass so hard he can't walk for a few days.

Kenpachi:I say we go with that.

Gin:Me too!

Byakuya:Yes.

Tousen:It is the only way to serve sufficient justice.

All:*beat the shit out of Jushiro*

Wonderweiss:Ah oo ah. Ah.....(I learned rape. I will never use it.....)

Gin:What do we do know that they are nearly dead and/or can't walk for a few weeks?

Byakuya:Continue. This is what they get. **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**Gin... Tousen... and Wonderweiss? I can understand Gin and Tousen, but Wonderweiss? *Giggle*  
Oh yeah and about the link, I can't find it now... It was "Accindently" destroyed  
I have 2 questions for Gin, 1 question for Tousen, 1 question for Ulquiorra and L, and a question for Byakuya (I'm chatty right now)  
Gin: Why do you always smile? I mean, we've only seen you maybe twice without the smile and once with your eyes open. My other question is: Why are you following AIZEN?  
Tousen: What is your idea of justice anyways? I'm confused on the whole concept.  
Ulquiorra and L: Don't you kinda find it freaky on actually HOW much you look alike?  
And lastly Byakuya: If you were stranded in the real world on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean stuck in a gigai with any "Soul Candy" for an entire month, how would you try to escape??  
And i have a personal request: PLEASE MAKE THAT DARKDANTEJ'S REVIEWS ILLEGAL!! I SKIPPED HALF OF THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE OF HIM!! HE SCARES ME! Please?? *Puppy dog eyes***

Mai:Wonderweiss is adorable! And damn those retards that made that link!

Gin:I always smile because there is reason to smile........

Mai:I don't want to know what that means.....

Gin:I'm following Aizen because I want power, was bored and have known him since I was a kid.

Tousen:I don't know what justice is anymore. Not since the review we got a few minutes back.

L:Well yes, but we have discovered we are twin brothers.

Ulquiorra:Yes. I'm mildly glad I have discovered family.

Byakuya:I would get someone to help. Not Mai or Jushiro!

Mai:Since we gotten complaints I am going to ask everyone to censor your reviews. No rape or sexual things allowed. Maybe streaking or stripping, but no sex or rape. Especially since we blew up the rape closet.

Jushiro:Yes, we want semi-clean fun that won't land us in prison for more than 10 years.

Mai:Do you forgive me now Byakuya?

Byakuya:I'm thinking about it.

Mai:Yay!

Gin:Desperate, aren't we?

Mai:I sure am.

Jushiro:Me too.

Mai:Oh yeah! I am supposed to tell you J.J.'s full name.

J.J.:No!

Mai:It's......Jushiro Jr.!

Jushiro:What!?

Mai:Just kidding! It's Jerry Junior Manuel Sumiko.

Jushiro:What's embarrassing about that?

J.J.:It's so Mexican! And thats not the full full name. Jerry is my nickname.

Jushiro:How are our guests next chapter?

Mai:Gaara and...Hm who else should I invite?

J.J.:You wanted more girls with you so invite Sakura.

Mai:But Sakura was useless the whole show!

J.J.:But she gets better in Shippuden!

Mai:She's alright in Shippuden I guess. Gaara, Kankuro and Temari are coming.

J.J.:Why Temari?

Mai:Because she is cooler than her. Next time Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro from Naruto will come. Here is a list of permanent people Jushiro, Kenpachi, Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, J.J., me, and Byakuya. Send in your reviews, but remember our new restrictions. No sex, rape, molestation, or anything else sexual. Streaking is allowed because its usually funny and demeaning. Bye-bye!


	14. Be Nice

Mai:*jumping rope*Hi*jump*every*jump*one!*jump*

Jushiro:Is there a reason you are jumping rope?

Mai:*jump*because*jump*its*jump*fun.

Gaara:Can I jump with you?

Mai:*jump*Sure!*jump*

Gaara:*jumps rope with Mai***Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**YAY! IT'S BEEN DESTROYED! Mai: I didn't know you had a zanpakuto... I like it! J.J. : your name isn't embarressing! It's actually cool sounding! Grimmjow: I'm surprised your not traumatized... Jushiro: i have a random question for you, can you cook? Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro: Do you three like candy? I'm curious... sorry if my review looks funny, im reviewing from a phone, and its hard to do.**

Mai:Yeah. I used it a few chapters ago. Its name means 'dark energy'.

J.J.:Thanks for liking my name. I have a zanpakuto too.

Mai:No you don't! He just wants to steal my shine!

J.J.:Yes I do, you attention hogging hussy.

Mai:Prove it. Show us your powerful sword.

J.J.:No I don't...

Mai:Ha!

Grimmjow:Oh I am traumatized. I just suppress the memories.

Jushiro:I can cook a few things. Mai's dad is going to teach me how to.

Mai:My dad is a pretty good cook.

Gaara:I like candy, but not really sweet candy.

Temari:Yeah.

Kankuro:It's good I guess.

J.J.:I like spicy tamarindo candy.

Mai:I like cotton candy!

Kankuro:Here is **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: *shoots Gaara 'the bird'*  
Karahime: *waves* hi!  
Charisei: okay Kat don't you want to say something?  
Katizo: Gaara, you ripped my heart out and tore it to pieces  
Charisei: ya she's gone goth/emo she's even dyed her once lovely brown hair black  
Katizo: because i have no reason to be what i once was i have no heart, spirit, or anything  
Charisei: okay to cheer her up everyone give Katizo a group hug!**

J.J.:Hi Hime-chan!

Gaara:But I didn't mean to. I don't want to hurt anybody.*starts having tears in his eyes*

Mai:Poor Katizo! Poor Gaara! We do need a group hug.

All:*group hugs*

Kenpachi:*squeezes too hard and ruins it*

Mai:Dammit Kenny! Why do you always kill sentimental moments?

Kenpachi:They bore me.

Temari:Lets get a move on. **Animefan0410:**

**I am glad you got rid of the rape closet, the jokes were getting really old..I have something to say to Temari. You were kind ofcool the first season..But in my opinion, not so much in Shippuden. *inches slowly away from Gaara* You kind of scare me. Hurray, Zaraki's now permanent! And, for some reasoon..I'm surrpisingly okay with Ichigo being..Zaraki, since you managed to kill Ichigo, you can now pick fights with Grimmjow! He does love to fight, and he pretty much forced Ichigo to use his hallow mask. So he MUST be good competition.**

****

I do have a question for Gaara: Who do you think would win in a fight, you or Zaraki?

(that has got to be a hard question for you tothink up lol)

**Ps. J.J..Umm..It looks like your room over there got caught on fire when the rape closet was burning O_O And, my dads name is Jerry, it's a good name, and I don't see how itcould be short for something.**

Jushiro:We all are glad.

Temari:Whatever! I should-

Mai:I kind of agree with him. You used to be my favorite, but in Shippuden, not so much.

Kenpachi:I wonder why I haven't challenged him.

Mai:Not in my house!

Kenpachi:Me and you outside after the Q&A.

Grimmjow:Hell yeah! A trip to the playboy mansion set me straight.

Ulquiorra:How did you manage to get in the playboy mansion?

Grimmjow:They say its okay if you are gay and pay up.

Mai:But you aren't anymore?

Grimmjow:Yup. I will only hit on girls now. Really hot ones like the one I saw the time I was walking over here. Look there she is! In your kitchen!

Mai:Thats my aunt you pig!

Grimmjow:The one next to her!

J.J.:Thats our mom, you bastard!

Grimmjow:Oh....Awkward.

Mai:*super glares*

J.J.:*hits him with his old kill emo mime clowns chair*

Gaara:I am not sure who would win. I wouldn't fight him anyway.

Kenpachi:It's obvious I would.

Gaara:I would win if I had a reason to fight.

Kenpachi:I'll give you a reason.

Mai:Fuck me...*smacks her forehead*

Kenpachi:*lifts Katizo*

Gaara:Drop her!

Kenpachi:*drops Katizo*

Gaara:*attacks viciously and angrily*Never touch her!

Mai:Take it outside.

J.J.:Jerry is short for Gerardo.

Jushiro:But Gerardo starts with a G.

J.J.:It turns to a J.

Jushiro:But-

J.J.:It just does!

Mai:I don't see wants so bad about your name!

J.J.:It can be changed so many ways!

Mai:Here is what I call him sometimes, Manny, Ger-bear, Jer-Jer, Gera, Gera but in Spanish so it would sound like Hera, Jerry baby-

J.J.:Only my mommy calls me Jerry baby! No not my race car bed and Spongebob collection and flat screen t.v.! Why!? I'ma tell mama on you Mai. Ma!

Mai:No!

Mai's Mom:You set his room on fire?! On fire?!

Mai:Jushiro helped.

Jushiro:No! Thats not true....Yes it is but not on purpose!

Ma's Momi:Ven aqui por que te voy chingar a los dos!(come over here because I'm going to beat you both!)

Mai:Ahhh! No! Not in front of my friends!

Jushiro:No! I'm a 300 year old captain! You can't do this!

Mai's mom:*spanks them both* Does anybody want something to drink or cookies?

All:No. We are fine.

Mai:Can I get ice for my butt?

Jushiro:I would like some too.

Mai's mom:You have legs, get it yourselves.

Mai:Great. Kenpachi get me ice!

Kenpachi:*fighting with Gaara*

Gaara:Sand coffin!

Mai:Enough!*stops the fight*

Kenpachi:Why in the hell did you do that?!

Mai:I WANT ICE FOR MY ASS!

Ulquiorra:**LilyGirl101:**

***comes in, wearing pale make-up, black hair, clothes and nail polish with cuts on her arms* Hi...everybody...**

****

I'm so sorry, Kasaimai-sama, Ukitake-taichou (can't even bring herself to say their first names anymore), but...I can't forgive you yet. While, yes, you destroyed the rape closet...that doesn't change the fact of what you did to poor Shiro-kun, and all those other poor people. And, Ukitake-taichou, if you're not looking at girls, you're OBVIOUSLY not looking at me. *starts crying, and ripping up photographs*

Oh, J-chan, I don't mind your name! Not one bit! I think it's just adorable! *hugs him softly* I know a Jerry, and he's four, and he's just the cutest thing in the world!

I haven't seen Shippuden yet, so don't tell me, OK? Oh, can I sit with Gaara-chan? And Temari-chan. They're my favorite Naruto characters! *hugs Temari-chan, ruffles Gaara-chan's hair* Gaara-chan's really hot, and Temari-chan is just plain awesome.

Bya-nii-chan, I would love to hang out with you! *smiles weakly* I might not be very good company, though...I turned emo after...the INCIDENT *shudders* I still hurt...

*walks over to katizo and hugs her weakly* I'm not helping...I just as emo as she is right now...

Sorry, Tousen-chan, for offending you. *starts sobbing* I meant ME stare, not YOU stare...sorry, it was still really rude...*starts crying harder* I'm so sorry!

Now, I'm going over to talk to Zaki-chan...maybe he can help me...

Signed,  
A Very Emo Lily-chan

**P.S.- Will Gaara be my boyfriend?**

Jushiro:No! Don't go emo! Anything but that!

Ulquiorra:You are insulting emos Jushiro.

Mai:*emotionless*

Jushiro:What I meant by girls I meant all the others! I love you!

Mai:*not talking*

Byakuya:Don't worry. We can comfort each other.

Tousen:No its okay. I forgive you.

Kenpachi:I'll see you later then Lily-chan.

Mai:...........................

Jushiro:Say something Mai-chan.

Mai:*leaves quietly*

Gaara:Where is she going?

Byakuya:Who cares? Would you like to go out with her?

Gaara:I don't know....I'm confused.

Byakuya:She's too good for you anyway. **HanakoAnimeaddict:**

**I must ask Temari one question. Are you more powerful than Kankuro?**

**Dare for Kenpachi: run around sereitei saying you're gay and had an affair with any male of your choice.**

Temari:I'd say so.

Kankuro:Not!

Temari:Yes I am!

Kankuro:No!

Temari:Yes.

Gaara:Shut up already.

Kenpachi:*goes to do dare* Hisagi's going to print it in the news now!

Gaara:Better you than me.

Kenpachi:You wanna fight again? Mai ain't here to protect you.

Jushiro:I'm worried. She hasn't returned!

J.J.:Thats like her though! She probably went to get some cheetos. Mai'll be back before the end of the show. **DarkDanteJ:**

**OMG Sougyo no Kotwari what the hell!? you are such a friggin punk! i mean seriously! jeez if you're so scared then just read cat in the hat Smart **!anyway now that i'm done with my rant and all my dares are sexually demeaning i'll just ask questions since some Zanpaktou-named users are to much of a bich to take it like a man!  
anyway temari i dare you to beat up grimmjow,Gaara i dare you to tell everyone the REAL secret behind Shuukaku's sand protecting you and Kankuro i dare you to do a puppet show that shows the "circle of life" and not the adult version!  
any good chapter as always and Jushiro if you could do me a favor please and i really mean it PLEASE kill sougyo no kotowari(the user not the zanpaktou)and J.J.'s name isn't that bad i've heard much worst and i dare for everyone...Guess my favorite attack(it's from any anime but can't tell) and the only way to guess is to check my Story "Bleach Rumble" it's a attack thts shown in almost every chapter.  
**

xxbleedinglovexx:Please don't insult or flame others. It is extremely rude and completely unnecessary. There is no need for it. I don't want anybody's feelings getting hurt. I didn't get rid of the closet just because of Sougyo. I got rid of it because it was getting kind of old and many people were complaining. I will ban anybody that does flames the other reviewers. I don't care if you do this to me or the story, just don't do it to the people that actually take their time and like doing this. They don't need it.

Jushiro:The author!? What are you doing here?

xxbleedinglovexx:I thought it was obvious.

Jushiro:Do you know where Mai is?

xxbleedinglovexx:Nope. I do know she emotionally distraught. Temari-san, will you do your dare?

Temari:Beat up the perv that keeps staring at me? With pleasure.*beats up Grimmjow*

Grimmjow:Ow! You are strong! I like that.

Temari:*kicks his ass harder*

Gaara:What 'real' secret?

Kankuro:*takes out puppets* We are all born. Then we die.*makes puppets play dead*Make space for the new and getting rid of the old and useless.

J.J.:Have you seen the Saw movies?! There was an old guy behind it all so never underestimate old people.

Jushiro:Oh darn it. This dare is more up Mai-chan's alley. She used to attend the same place Near, Mello, and L went to.

xxbleedinglovexx:Is it falcon punch?

Kankuro:I'm confused.

Jushiro:She's still not here! Oh Mai-chan where on earth are you?

Grimmjow:Everyone that cares about Mai come search with us.

Kenpachi:I care about her but I have a client to get to.

Byakuya:Mai! Mai! God! I've grown tired of hearing her name. I've grown tired of that fucking idiot Kasaimai Sumiko. I hope she never comes back.

J.J.:You are a stupid meanie jerk!

Ulquiorra:Shut the fuck up Kuchiki.

Grimmjow:How about you take that stick out of your fucking ass and leave!

Jushiro:Grrrr!

Gaara:That isn't very kind.

Kankuro:I have to go fix one of my puppet's strings.

Temari:I don't really care for her comment. So bye.

Jushiro:Next chapter Nnoitra Jiruga and Szayel Aporro Granz will be here. If anyone knows anything about Mai-chan's location, please tell us!

Ulquiorra:She is rather tall, has dark brown hair, light brown eyes, and does not like it when you take her cheetos. Don't do it. She will bite your arm off.

Grimmjow:*making flyers* You guys are these good?

Jushiro:That was her in the second grade! Wait thats not even her. It's a little blonde girl with blue eyes!

Ulquiorra:Just color the hair brown. Inside the lines, Grimmjow, inside the lines.

Grimmjow:That's hard! You are stifi-nal-ling, styfilin, st-whatever my art.

xxbleedinglovexx:Stifling!It's no wonder she left. Jesus, it's like being in a class full five year olds that failed kindergarten. As Jushiro said next time Nnoitra and Szayel will make an appearance. I hope that I won't have to come back and make such a serious statement again. Please don't insult each other. It's just not nice and I will either stop showing the person's review or even stop the show. I am serious. You could have made someone's day even worse and I will NOT tolerate it. Goodbye and come again.

Grimmjow:Jesus Christ! She is really serious. Bye and help us find Mai!


	15. Missing Mai

Jushiro:Hello. Welcome to Q&A with Jushiro Ukitake. Mai-chan is still not here. At this rate we'll have to....

Grimmjow:No! We'll never do that!

Ulquiorra:It can't resort to that.

Nnoitra:What the fuck? Who is Mai?

Ulquiorra:Her name is Kasaimai Sumiko trash.

Szayel:Sound like an appealing specimen.

Grimmjow:Too bad she isn't here.

Ulquiorra:That's why she's missing.

Szayel:Imbecile.

Nnoitra:You're the imbecile.

Szayel:My, aren't we defensive?

Nnoitra:I don't completely hate him.

Grimmjow:You fucking tried to kill me! Kurosaki had to save my life! I hate you.

Jushiro:Hate is a very strong sentiment. Say you dislike.

Grimmjow:But I hate him!

Jushiro:Ah ah ah. Dislike.

Grimmjow:I dislike you Nnoitra.

Nnoitra:I dislike you Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra:Thats not even in the realm of possibility because I dislike myself more.

Jushiro:Don't dislike yourself. You are great.

Ulquiorra:Someone cares. Thank you Jushiro.

Nnoitra:Boring! I thought this would be interesting. **LilyGirl101:**

***doesn't feel like searching for Kasamai* She can drown for all I care. *emo just turned to angry* I don't like her anymore! *throws something* And if it's my fault she's gone, I should feel PROUD of myself! I finally got rid of her! I'm glad she's gone!**

****

And Ukitake-taichou, it's a little late to be changing THAT statement! If that's what you meant, you should have said that in the first place! But obviously, that's NOT what you meant, so just leave me alone! *starts looking for her knife* And how dare you insult me and my fellow emos! You couldn't possibly understand what I'm feeling right now! And if you loved me that much, you wouldn't have hurt me in the first place!

Stop being mean to Bya-nii-chan! *drops the knife, runs over and hugs him* He's hurting right now! Just leave him be! It's OK, Bya-nii-chan...I agree with him, anyway!

Thanks for forgiving me, Tousen-chan. I don't know why I said that...I'm just having a bad day, with the betrayal and the fights and the anger...*sniffles*...

*anger turns to emo again* Oh, no! *starts crying* Sorry, Gaara-chan! I didn't mean to confuse you! You can have Katizo, OK? I'll be OK...I'll be fine...I just need to find my knife again...*goes back to her emo corner with a knife*...I'll be OK...don't worry about me...I'll be fine...

*sobs* I'm so lonely...

**Signed with lonliness,  
An Even More Emo Lily-chan**

Jushiro:But LilyGirl...

Byakuya:I am actually a little worried now.....

Tousen:No. Its okay. Don't cry or cut yourself anymore.

Gaara:It's alright. I'm confused because I've never actually experienced this situation.

Tousen:I'll go with you right now.*goes with LilyGirl*

Nnoitra:Thank God he left.

Szayel:**pinkfire101:**

***sob* NO *sob* Mai!! (Wipes away the tears that are falling) Mai don't be depressed there are other people that liked you for who you are(like me). So be happy and if you stop being depressed everyone and yes everyone can come to my house for this huge house party I will have for Mai's happiness. That's only if Mai is back and happy. So until she is found here are some sweets and drinks to keep you awake until you find her!! (brings in 30 buckets of sweets and drinks) Well i guess that's all for now oh and HI SZAYEI and I hate your effing guts Nnotira. Bye for now!!**

Jushiro:Thank you for your concern and effort.

Grimmjow:We need all the help we can get. **Vampire-Hime101:**

**Ahahaha! That was so funny! Hrm... I dare Ukitake to... lick Yamamoto's face. . I can't really think of anything else at the moment... Also I wanna ask is Jushiro actually a virgin? And has he ever had a girlfriend? because i think i could be in with a chaance lol**

**Actually I change my question! 'Are you really a kiddie-feeler? And also do you have a man crush on Shunsui?' xD**

**D: YOU NEVER SAID THERE WOULD BE ICHIRUKI! Put a warning up or something i had to skip most of it! Byaku-boo i luff you! :DD**

Jushiro:*licks Yamamoto's faces*Blegh. I am not a virgin. I have had a girlfriend. She is mad with me now......I am not a 'kiddy feeler'. I don't have a crush on Shunsui. We are best friends.

J.J.:We apologize for not putting a warning. **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: someone tell Gaara-kun i'm sorry  
Karahime: *goes to help find Mai*  
Charisei: okay if mai is found tell her we said it's okay  
Katizo: NNOITRA HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THE CAGE  
Charisei: get back in Katizo's story NOW  
Katizo: okay i just wanna know if someone can kill kenpachi?  
Charisei: seriosly we think he is undefetable  
Katizo: oh and J.J. don't be ashamed of your name. to be honest Katizo is my middle name my full name is Lonna Katizo Terusei**

Gaara:I forgive you.

Ulquiorra:More help!

Kenpachi:I will never die.

Nnoitra:No cage! It's cramped in there! I don't like it.*cries hysterically*

J.J.:We just need him for a little more. Then we'll return him, cage and all.

Nnoitra:Yay! **DarkDanteJ:**

**eh fine then since i'm in a somewhat good mood i'll "Apologize" Sougyo i think i'm sorry and i saw mai at 7/11 buying 30 bags of cheetos and some soda and correct Ms.  
Author and Nnorita why is it that you are so sexist i mean seriously just because Nel,who is female,is a higher rank then doesn't mean you should be so jealous and annoying and Syazel why is your hair pink? cuz you remind me of Sakura from naruto and a dare for Nnorita and Syazel i dare you to run into the soul society on a giant lizard yelling "The rapists are coming, The rapist are coming!" like Paul Revere and to conclude my Review who in this show is the strongest?**

Jushiro:No we checked the 7/11 first. Its right around the corner.

Byakuya:I think I'll check...*goes check all the liquor stores and markets*

Nnoitra:A damn girl can't be my fucking boss!

J.J.:Harribel is numero tres. Two ranks above you.

Nnoitra:Fuck her anyway.

Szayel:Why is yours black or brown or blonde or whatever yours is? Because of genetics.

Grimmjow:And a little hair dye.

Szayel:Sakura Haruno is a little biter! She can't do anything else anyway!

Jushiro:She appeared on t.v. before they even thought about adding you. So you are the biter.

Szayel:No. She's the biter. I don't care about what you say!

Nnoitra & Szayeal:*do dare*

Kenpachi:I am the strongest.

Nnoitra:No you aren't.

Kenpachi:Yeah. Who lost?

Nnoitra:At least I ain't lost most of the time.

Jushiro:*sighs* Mai-chan would have stopped this.

Nnoitra:No your mom!*punches Kenpachi*

J.J.:My new flat screen! No!*stops them and slaps Nnoitra silly* Get back in the cage.*throws cage all the way to Katizo's* Here is **Animefan0410:**

**I think I saw Mai head on a plain for a weeks vacation to the Carribean, and I think she was muttering something about being surrouded by idiots..Or idiot..*cough*Grimmjow*cough* lol You can follow her there..Or if you want, I can be host :D Kind of kidding lol I have a dare for for all of you..Sing that 'Lion sleeps tonight' song from Lion King.**

Byakuya:I couldn't find her. Not even in Tijuana. She loves it there. She wouldn't go to the Carribean because those pirates are after her.

All:Lala kahle [Sleep well]  
In the jungle, the mighty jungle  
The lion sleeps tonight  
In the jungle, the mighty jungle  
The lion sleeps tonight

Imbube

Ingonyama ifile [The lion's in peace]  
Ingonyama ilele [The lion sleeps]  
Thula [Hush]

Near the village, the peaceful village  
The lion sleeps tonight  
Near the village, the peaceful village  
The lion sleeps tonight

Imbube

Ingonyama ilele (The lion sleeps)

Hush my darling, don't fear my darling  
The lion sleeps tonight  
Hush my darling, don't fear my darling  
The lion sleeps tonight

He, ha helelemama [He, ha helelemama]  
Ohi'mbube [lion]

Imbube

Ixesha lifikile [Time has come]  
Lala [Sleep]  
Lala kahle [Sleep well]

Near the village, the peaceful village  
The lion sleeps tonight  
Near the village, the peaceful village  
The lion sleeps tonight

Imbube

My little darling  
Don't fear my little darling  
My little darling  
Don't fear my little darling

Ingonyama ilele [The lion sleeps]  
(Repeat to fade)

J.J.:She uses to sing this to me. I miss her!

Ulquiorra:Distract yourself with this. **Sougyo no kotowari:**

***Ignores Dante's comment***  
**O, Nnoitra and Szayel are coming?? AWESOME! I like them, they are awesome and kick butt.**  
**Nnoitra: Do you know who Shinji Hirako is? I swear, you two have the same creepy smile, **  
**Szayel: Where is your hollow mask? I have a strong suspicion that it is your glasses but i'm not sure**  
**Oh no! Mai-chan is missing!! :(**  
**Byakuya: YOUR AN **! JEEZ! I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY TO YOU!**  
**Nnoitra and Szayel: I dare you two to fight, I wanna see who's stronger.**

Nnoitra:No, but my smile is beautiful.

Szayel:My glasses are my piece of my mask.

Byakuya:......It's not like I don't regret it. Mai-chan, please return!

Jushiro:Thats it we have to call now!

Grimmjow:No, anything but that.

Ulquiorra:I agree with him. We've done everything. We have sent out Kakashi and his ninja hounds, some reviewers, searched for hours and have no results. We have no choice but to call- Holy shit! Its an earthquake!*room starts shaking*

xxbleedinglovexx:How fortunate am I to be writing this during an earthquake!

Jushiro:Some would call that misfortunate. Anyway, now that it's over, we are calling.

Byakuya:How do you know this won't come back and bite us on the ass!

J.J.:Do really have a choice?

Jushiro:No.*calls*

?:Hello.

Jushiro:We need your help Sumiko-san. Kasaimai has been missing for a few days now and we can't find her.

?:.....Why am I barely finding out now?

Jushiro:.......

?:I'll be there.

Ulquiorra.:Join us next time and welcome our mysterious Sumiko, Shunsui Kyoraku, and Nanao Ise. Another one of her relatives, this is ought to be chaotic.


	16. And the Mystery Sumiko is?

Jushiro:Welcome and blah blah. Here is Shunsui, Nanao, and our mystery relative of J.J. and Mai. I hope he actually finds her.

Shunsui:Hi.

Nanao:Hello.

Shunsui:Oh you are so beautiful, Nanao!

Nanao:*hits him with a book*

Jushiro:Remember, speak in only two syllable words and very s-low-ly when around him.

?:You're fuckin' stupid.

J.J.:You are lucky that you only have to stay for a days. Do you have an idea where she could be?

?:Yeah, a few. I'll look in Juarez, Walmart, and the beach.

Byakuya:She hates Juarez.

?:No, she hates Tijuana.

Jushiro:Why would she hide in a Walmart?

?:Walmart has everything.

Jushiro:The beach? She looks like she hasn't been to the beach in a very long time.

?:She loves it there.

Jushiro:I bet one hundred dollars she isn't there.

?:You're on. Here is **katizo terusei:**

**Charisei: Katizo tell him.  
Katizo: no he'll get mad  
Charisei: no he won't i'm sure he'll be there for you  
Katizo: i'm not telling him  
Karahime: *gets fed up* Katizo's pregnant okay  
Katizo: KARAHIME!! NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW!!  
Charisei: the father should know  
Karahime: oh and Kenpachi could you give Ulquiorra and Charisei some couples counseling??  
Katizo: i'm sorry Garra *cries*  
Charisei: Katizo breathe!  
Karahime: poor Katizo. *hugs***

Kenpachi:Seeing Ulquiorra again? This will be the fifth time in over three days.

Ulquiorra:I have shit to work out okay!

Gaara:I'll be there for you!

Shunsui:Who is the dad? Is it that red head?

Nanao:*smacks him again*

Shunsui:Why my precious Nanao!

Nanao:Just for being the genius you are captain. **LilyGirl101:**

***has bandages on her arms* Hi, everybody. *pouts* Zaki-chan made me go to the mental hospital. Technically, I'm breaking the rules by being here, so I gotta be quick**

****

I like Nanao-chan! She's so tolerant! How can she be so tolerant? It's insane! Anyway, I like her hairstyle too...and her glasses look just like mine! *hugs Nanao-chan* And Shunsui-chan is really funny! I like him a lot! *hugs him too* I like his hat...

Oh, who's the mystery Sumiko? I'm on the edge of my seat!

I'm glad you're not mad at me, Gaara-chan! I didn't mean to confuse you! I'm just going to back off now! You and Katizo will be very happy, I'm sure! (and I'm tired of fighting with Katizo over the same guy)

I...I have something to say something that is very important...and I have Zaki-chan to thank for this; he's a great counselor, believe it or not...OK, here we go...*takes her pills*

*takes a deep breath*

Mai-chan...  
I'm sorry. I over-reacted to something that wasn't your fault in the first place, and I even made you sad enough go away!*starts crying* I'm sorry, Mai-chan! I'm so sorry! I FORGIVE YOU!! PLEASE COME BACK! I miss you, Mai-chan!! PLEASE COME BACK! *starts crying even harder* please come back...it's all my fault!*takes some more pills*

And, I have one more thing to say before I go back to my prison ce--I mean room.

I forgive you too...Shiro-chan. As with Mai, I over-reacted. I thought about it a bit and...I'm sorry. I looked back and I realized you've done nothing but try to get me to forgive you every time we see each other (even when we met at the supermarket the other day!) *kisses him* This time, I would like you to forgive me for being such a bitch to you. You really deserve so much more than that...*takes more pills* I'm sorry, Shiro-chan and...I love you too!

Oh, it's time to go, before they notice I'm gone...

Signed with love and lots of hope,  
Lily-chan

**P.S.- Bring Hanataro on the show sometime! He's adorable!  
P.P.S. - Please bring Mai back safely! I need to apologize to her in person and hug her.  
P.P.P.S. - Shiro-chan, where do you want to go tonight (if you want to go anywhere)? I need to spend some time with you again...there's a great big Jushiro-sized whole in my heart right now...*starts crying again*  
P.P.P.P.S.- If Mai-chan comes back soon, I'll do a special performance of "It's Not Over" for her and Shiro-chan, as yet another way of saying "I'm sorry"**

Jushiro:I am just so happy we are all good friends again! Well you and I are more than that of course. You are not a bitch! I love you!

J.J.:Actually on Mai's list of guests for the week she wrote Hantaro in for Thursday, but we can have him tomorrow.

Jushiro:Yes! Lets go anywhere you want! As long as I'm with you.

Shunsui:Looks like someone's a happy couple again! Reminds me of us Nanao.*hugs LilyGirl and Jushiro*

Nanao:No captain. We never were anything.*hugs LilyGirl*

Shunsui:Oh Nanao-chan!

J.J.:The mystery Sumiko is...our older greaser brother, Eddy Raisuke Sumiko!

Eddy:Yeah.

J.J.:Did you find her?

Eddy:Shit you think I can do magic? I need time!

Grimmjow:Who the hell do you think you are?

Eddy:It says right there dumbass! Who the fuck are you?

Grimmjow:Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez.

Eddy:Grimmjow Crackerjack?

Grimmjow:Jea-ger-jaquez.

Eddy:Grimmjow Crack-a-bitch?

Grimmjow:Why not?

Eddy:Who's the freak with white makeup?

Grimmjow:Eh he just like to show up for no reason.

Ulquiorra:Trash!

Eddy:Don't talk to me. I already wanna fuck you up.

Ulquiorra:Just search for your sister greaser trash.

Eddy:Da fuck? I would have fuckin' shanked you by now if you weren't Mai's boyfriend.

Byakuya:I'm her fucking boyfriend! We've met three freaking times!

Eddy:Thats even worse!

Shunsui:Hey calm down everyone. Lets have some sake except for you, Eddy. You are under age.

Eddy:So? I drink stronger shit than that.

Shunsui:**Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**Sumiko... Sumiko.. why does that sound familiar, oh yeah it's Mai-chans last name!!  
You did check her bedroom, right? Sometimes people can find small hiding places that no one knows about in their rooms... I've done it before.  
Yay! Kyoraku is gonna be here! He is one of my 3 favorite captains, he comes in second..  
Nanao, i have a question for you... what's the deal with your glasses? i was watching a video on Youtube where you took off your glasses in front of the Shinigami Men's soceity, and they went bonkers..**

J.J.:I checked every little small spot she could hide in. Even the drawers.

Nanao:I wish I knew why my glasses have such an effect.

Shunsui:Yay! One of my fans!

Jushiro:Congratulations. **Animefan0410:**

**Hurray it's Shunsui! *gives a giant bottle of sake* (it can be his favorite flavor..Whatever it is). You are cool, even though you act like a lazy good for nothing bum. And you are kind of cool Nanao..**

**I have a question for Nanao: You seem kind of like a person who likes to read..So what's your favorite genre and book?**

Nanao:You can't drink that while we are doing this.

Jushiro:Trust me, we've taken worse.

Shunsui:*drinks it all before Nanao could take it away*

Nanao:Captain!

Shunsui:Yes my pretty pretty Nanao.

Jushiro:Leave him be for now.

Nanao:*blushes* My genre is....romance.

Shunsui:Why? You could live like one those characters when ya got me!

Nanao:*smacks him*My favorite book is Summer of My German Soldier because it shows innocent love that transcends racial and prejudice barriers while at the same time explores the self conscious adolescent who is always put down and shown cruelty.

Grimmjow:Damn. He asked for the name of a book, not a fucking book report.

Shunsui:Hey! You be nice to my Nanao!

Grimmjow:Make me old drunk bum. Is your sick little boyfriend gonna fight for you?

Jushiro:We got a first timer here! **RaiiningSun:**

**Yay for first-time reviewers liek me! Lol. Wow, these people have been through alot o_o**

****

Aww, Mai-chan! Please come back! We miss youu :[ I promise I won't give any horrible dares okk?

Speaking of dares.  
Nanao-chan: I dare you to get drunk with Rangiku. I'd like to see what happens. Lols. And I also have a question for you. Whenever Kyoraku-taichou hits on you, you reject him, but is that because you actually like him but are too scared to admit it?

**~*| Raiin-chan |*~**

Jushiro:We would do something random right now, but Mai-chan usually starts. Ulquiorra, what are you doing?

Ulquiorra:I am gathering every single person's review saying they missed Mai.

Jushiro:Why?

Ulquiorra:So I can slap her with them!

Shunsui:I don't even think Nanao _can _get drunk.

Nanao:Says you!*gets drunk with Rangiku and is found writing FUCK YOU KENPACHI all over the eleventh squad barracks* Thats fer last time you tall, bloodthirsty, inconsiderate....'n I don't know why! Maybe cuz.....*passes out*

Shunsui:NO! I'll never know now!

J.J.:Its pretty obvious who got to her first.*looks at Kenpachi*

Kenpachi:What are you talking about? **DarkDanteJ:**

**I'm not feeling that well so Mai-sama plz return and i only got 1 dare 2day i dare everyone to sing "Pervert by Nerf Herder" enjoy *sneezes*.**

All:When you met me at the party you thought I was a nice guy  
But you didn't have a clue at what was going on inside  
I ordered you a drink and asked you for a dance  
But all I really wanted was to smell your underpants

I'm a pervert, a pervert  
Can't change the way I am  
I'm a pervert, a pervert  
Don't want to shake my hand

That night you asked me over to watch Hollywood Squares  
You left me in your room, I left a stain on your teddy bear  
Can you see it in my eyes, can you see it in my smile?  
Can you see the way I imagine you doing doggystyle

I'm a pervert, a pervert  
I've got sweaty palms  
I'm a pervert, a pervert  
It just goes on and on  
On and on, on and on, on and on, on and on

You called me on the phone, said you wanted to talk  
But how could you have known what I was doing with my sock  
Say you want to be my girlfriend but will you love me anymore  
When you catch me with my polaroid outside the bathroom door

I'm a pervert, a pervert  
Can't change the way I am  
A pervert, a pervert  
Don't want to shake my hand  
I'm a pervert, a pervert  
I've got sweaty palms  
A pervert, a pervert  
It just goes on and on  
On and on, on and on, on and on, on and

Mai:Wow, I'm home for a few seconds and there is already someone passed out on couch and everyone singing me an insulting song....

All:Mai!*jump on Mai and give her a big hug*

Mai:If anybody's gonna be passed out on the floor in this house its going to be me!

Ulquiorra:*slaps her with reviews*

Mai:I thought you were the smart one.*breaks Ulquiorra's arm*

Jushiro:You are back! Read Lily-chan's review.

Mai:Yay! We are all cool now!

Eddy:No, you are freaking dork.

Mai:*mumbles*You are stupid anyway.

Byakuya:Where on earth were you!?

Mai:Well first I was on Sesame Street. Elmo wanted to do a segment about Mexican culture. Chad was there too. But then the Count called me a ho and demanded I pay him.

J.J.:What!?

Mai:Yup. I told him"Count how many smacks it takes to get your act straight." I slapped him a good thirty times until security took me away. Then I went to Disneyland.

Ulquiorra:Oh God. What trauma have you caused there?

Mai:I was talking with the princesses you now, gossip. I was bragging about Byakuya then Cinderella, being the instigating bitch she is, was saying about how she had a castle and a prince charming. I told her that Prince Charming was actually bankrupt and borrowing money from him to support her gold-digging ass.

Jushiro:Of course.

Mai:It gets better. She slaps me and I rip her weave off. I punch her and was thrown out of Disney. I'm banned forever.

Byakuya:That ruins my plans to take you there for our welcome back date. Is that all the places you've been?

Mai:Nope. I went home and found a bag of white stuff in my mommy's purse. I thought it was coconut shavings because she was making chocolate strawberries and she always use that as a topping. I eat and start feeling funny. I realized I was high when I saw my dog talking to me. I thought I would get in trouble if I came here that fucked up.

Byakuya:Yes you would have.

Mai:I went to Juarez and spent the remainder of the weirdness in Mexico.

Jushiro:Ha! She was-

Eddy:Hear the rest.

Mai:I went to the beach to tan for a bit after that. That's when Eddy found me.

Eddy:Haha bitch! I won. Pay up.

Jushiro:*gives him money*I'm going with Lily-chan.

Eddy:I've got to go beat up some wannabe cholos.

J.J.:I have to go check on the Count.

Nanao:Lets go captain.

Shunsui:Anything you say my pretty pretty Nanao.

Byakuya:We need some quality time my pretty pretty Mai.

Mai:Alright my prince charming that is giving money to that the other broke ass prince. Next time Hanatoro, Aizen and Yamamoto will appear.

Jushiro:Wait Lily-chan wanted to sing us something.

Mai:It's not over by Daughtry or It's not over by Secondhand Serenade?

Jushiro:I don't know. I guess we'll have to wait until the next chapter to hear my Lily-chan's wonderful voice.....

Mai:Yeah....Aizen, Hanatoro and Yamamoto will be here. How will that work out?


	17. Coming Home to Twins!

Mai:I am back my precious readers and reviewers! I was so touched about all the reviews and I miss you's that Ulqui-kun slapped me with! It hurt!

Ulquiorra:Are you going to run away again?

Mai:I don't think so. Unless I accidently ingest cocaine again.

Jushiro:You made us very worried Mai-chan.

J.J.:We even had to bring our verbally abusive brother to find you.

Mai:Sorry! How about a warm welcome for our guests the adorable as ever Hanatoro Yamada, the superman wannabe Sousuke Aizen, and the old bag-er I mean the young and powerful leader Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto!

Aizen:Wannabe superman? I've called worse.

Hanataro:A girl actually finds me cute!

Mai:All the girls think you are cute! You've got quite a fan base.

Byakuya:Hmph!*brings Mai closer*

Yamamoto:I am great leader aren't I?

Jushiro:She called you a-*is smacked*

Mai:Powerful leader which without the Soul Society will fall! Haha*laughs nervously*

Yamamoto:First today is **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: MAI!*tries to hug but pregnant tummy gets in way*  
Karahime: YAY YOUR BACK!*claps and jumps*  
Katizo: i wish Charisei was here. she'd be soo happy!  
Karahime: ya but she's in court  
Charisei: *from court room* i didn't kill him!!  
Officer: tehn who did?  
Charisei: HIM! *points at Grimmjow*  
Karahime: oh btw Kat has only 2 days left to go. and its twins!  
Katizo: ya a boy and a girl. Gaara what do you wanna name them?**

Mai:Katizo!*hugs above the tummy*Some how I'm not surprised she's in jail.

Byakuya:I thought they would find _you_ in prison Mai-chan.

Mai:I-what the-why?! That was something I needed to do though....

Byakuya:You and your family have quite the wrap sheet. J.J. has tagged S.S.V. all over our captains' meeting room and is a suspect in multiple bank robberies. I think he is the one that tagged his name all over my property.

J.J.:No I didn't!

Byakuya:You are saying you aren't 'el lococito'. Mai you have several misdemeanors, a couple of felonies, some time in juvenile detention, vandalism, and was acquitted of a class b misdemeanor.

Mai:It was a class a!

J.J.:No double jeopardy!

Gaara:This is happening so soon! Um, I don't know, something beautiful and unique. I am sure you would do a great job on that.

Mai:Someone's gonna be a daddy?

Grimmjow:I thought you would be the first pregnant girl here.

Mai:Again, it was on my list to dotoo....

Byakuya:I play it safe.

Aizen:Or is someone shooting blanks?

Byakuya:I will not react in the manner you wish you disgusting traitor.

Aizen:Haha. **LilyGirl101:**

**MAI-CHAN! *hugs her over and over and over and over and over and over again* MAI-CHAN! I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE BACK! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, MAI-CHAN!! YAY!! You're back...my Mai-nee-chan!! *hugs her again* I'm so sorry, Mai-chan! I won't ever hate you again! *hugs her AGAIN* Mai-chan!**

****

I have a question for Aizen...when you got "Hollowed Out", as me and my brother say, why did you take off your glasses and style your hair? I can understand the hair, thing, OK, but seriously? I mean, I have glasses, and um...don't you NEED those? Did you bump into things after you took them off? *rofl* Anyway, *hugs him* I like you!

Oh my gosh, Hanatoro! *hugs him a lot* He's so adorable! *hugs him again* He's soo cute! OK, I'm done. *hugs him one more time* Now I'm done...*hugs him lightly* I warn you, I might do this a lot. I've kind of got a soft spot for the quiet, cute guys...*hugs him again* HE'S SO CUTE!

Hey, Yama-chan...oh, I can't think of any questions or dares for you...but I am remembering past dares that involved you, and all the chaos and laughs that came with them...*hands out pictures*

OK, now to answer your question, Mai-chan, I will be singing the song by Secondhand Serenade (although I have heard the one by Daughtry too; I just prefer Secondhand Serenade). I really think this song represents what me, Shiro-chan, and Mai-chan were feeling when I was mad at them...and I really love this song...I hope you like it too!

*takes out guitar and sings song*

What did you think? *hugs them both, kisses Shiro-chan*

Signed with love and lime pie,  
Lily-chan

**P.S. - Shiro-chan are going out to this really cool resturaunt I went to the other day...Le Madeline. Do you like French food, Shiro-chan?  
P.P.S. - And Mai-chan, I'll take you to that girl's night out now! Singing gave me an idea...there's a karaoke bar right near where I live (I live in the area of town where EVERYTHING cool happens), and I wanna take you there! How 'bout it!**

Aizen:Well when I first broke them I couldn't see. I was, as you said bumping into everything until I ordered Gin to get me contacts. He wouldn't give me colored contacts though. I think he uses them.

Mai:That explains why his eyes change so much. I just realized something! There's something up with all your eyes! Gin has them closed all the time, Tousen is blind, and Aizen has vision problems. Is that supposed to represent something?

Aizen:I don't know.

Hanataro:Yay! A fan for me!

Mai:I told ya. I've actually never heard the Secondhand Serenade one.

Jushiro:See! My Lily-chan has a beautiful voice.*sighs contentedly*I like French food.

Mai:I've never had French food. I would love to go out with you! I've been hanging around guys too much.

Kenpachi:You loves us though.

Byakuya:NO! I'm the only man she can love!

Mai:You can't tell me who I can love! I love you Byaku-boo.

Byakuya:How can you change the subject so....I love you more!

Mai:No I love you-

Grimmjow:*reads rather loudly***KuroEqualsBitch:**

**Wow I like the q&a for Ukitake! ^_^**

****

Anyway... I HATE AIZEN! I WANT HIM TO DIE!

I like Hanataro! He's small and cute! ^_^

Anyway, I got questions:  
1- Ukitake, why do you always give Toushi-chan candy?  
2- Hanataro, do you feel you should be a 4th seat or 5th seat at least on the 4th?  
3- Aizen... why must you be a jackass?  
4- Ukitake, I like you zanpaktou! Their cute! But question, do you give them candy?  
5- Hana, are you afraid of 11th squad? Its okay if you are.

Dares...  
1- I dare Aizen to stab himself.  
2- I dare Yamamoto to NOT act all boring like an old man...  
3- I dare Ukitake to make the sky rain watermelon flavored candy!(I give him powers)  
4- I dare Hana, to... wear cat ears and a tail and say mew at the end of every sentence he says!

Question, can you bring Toushiro, Momo, and Yachiru next chapter? thanks!

**KEEP UP THE AWESOME WORK BTW!**

Mai:It isn't about Shiro-kun that much anymore though!

Aizen:Hate me? Thats absurd. You must be a little out of touch with reality and I couldn't care less about _your _opinion.

Mai:You want the bullshit kicked outta you, don't you Aizen?*kicks him*

Jushiro:I give him candy because we are both Shiros, have white hair, and are captains. Also because he is a hardworking child and captain and deserves it.

Hanataro:No. I think I am not ready for such high positions. Thank you for believing I do though.

Aizen:Why do you have to be a bitch?

Mai:*beats him up*

Aizen:I'm a jackass! I'm so sorry! Ulquiorra, Grimmjow! Are you not going to intervene?

Ulquiorra:I no longer worship or work for you! I died. I work for Mai now.

Grimmjow:I never liked you from the start and I work for her too. That means I am under her protection.

Aizen:Bastards.

Jushiro:Yes they appreciate your love. I do give them candy, but I haven't really been giving them the attention they need...

Mai:Our zanpakuto are coming next time then!

Hanataro:N-*looks at Kenpachi* Yes! Very!

Aizen:*stabs himself*God this hurts!

Yamamoto:I am not boring! I am hip and young and do not need to pretend. Right Jushiro.

Jushiro:Sensei... you have many years of wisdom.

Yamamoto:To be called an old geezer by an old man himself! I really am old then. I am going to 'get with it'.

Hanataro:*dresses like a kitty*Mew!

Yamamoto:*comes back wearing skinny jeans, gold chains, Vans, and hat to the side* What's up homeboys?

Jushiro:Sensei! Please tell me this is only for the dare.

Yamamoto:Nah nah nah doggie g. I doin' this cuz I'm cool like that.

Mai, Eddy, & J.J.:DA FUCK?!

Eddy:What you reppin' old man?

Yamamoto:Um....

Mai:Are you a skater, cholo, pretty boy, or...its pretty obvious you didn't grease up.

Yamamoto:I'm a cholo....?

Mai:What kind of cholo wears skinnies?

Yamamoto:I'm East side!

Mai, Eddy, & J.J.:Oh hell nah!*beat him old again*

Eddy:This is west coast bitch!

Jushiro:I believe it best if you act your age.

Yamamoto:I do not understand this generations' terms and colloquialisms.

Aizen:I am enjoying this.

Mai:Me too. I hate to agree with Lord Asshole.

Hanataro:**Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**YAY! MAI-CHAN IS BACK! *Does Ikkaku's happy dance* *Points at everyone* DON'T ask me how i memorized that...  
*Starts mumbling incoherent profanities* Aizen... Why him?? I liked you as a character until you made Shiro-chan stab Momo, then i thought you were a jackass, then i saw that you infused... wait, i shouldn't say that... Manga spoilers.  
Anyways,  
Yama...moto?? *Shudders* i don't think i can say his name right after THOSE dares...  
Yay! Hanataro is gonna be here!! I have a question for you... What's the secret behind those energy pills you took in the S.S. arc?**

****

I have a late dare for Grimmjow: I dare you to sing the "Mean Kitty" song by Cory Williams, *hands him lyrics* good luck! Oh yeha, and i want you to do it in your release form... *Throws Mai-chan a camara* I want pictures of this...

Could you bring... wait, what was his name... Don Panini? nope, Dordoni!! that's his name, i think he's funny... oh and can you bring Kisuke on here?? He's one of my Favorite characters...

**Btw: I still think your an ass Byakuya... *Glares***

Aizen:It seems everyone has a distaste for me. Even Ulquiorra who had worshipped me in the beginning.

Ulquiorra:The children thing creeped me out.

Mai:Ey! I don't do that one involving his beard though!

Grimmjow:Grind, Pantera! I got this little kitty about 2 months back,

He was the nicest little kitty now a pain in my crack.  
This little kitty is a ninja always stalking my feet.  
This little kitty is a warrior, you know what I mean.  
He's an evil little kitty, look what he did to my hand!  
Tries to get in trouble in any way that he can.  
I can give this cat a toy but he'd rather have the wrapper.  
When I always give him water but he still drinks from the crapper.  
You could lock him in the closet and he just won't care.  
Kitty chews on my shoes and he licks on my hair.  
Always scratching on my favorite chair and jumping on the couch.  
Playing in the windowsills and tearing through the house  
He is so full of energy and easily amused.  
Kitty will attack anything that moves,  
Causing trouble, starting battles just so he can be a part of  
He's the meanest little kitty so we named him Sparta.

(x3)  
Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight,  
Little bitty kitty want to bite, bite, bite.

Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight,  
Little bitty kitty want to bite.

Where'd you go? Are you stalking me?  
Are you under the couch? Quite possibly.  
Ears laid back so you don't get caught.  
Ready to pounce my leg with everything you got.  
I know you're probably watching me from across the room.  
Concentrating, contemplating on attacking me soon.  
You're not invisible kitty, I'm going to find you first.  
Come out, come out, before I make things worse!  
I've seen where you hide and I know where you've been.  
...Hey kitty, why don't you give in?  
Even if you try to sneak up on me I'm prepared.  
'Cause I got my safety gear on and I'm not scared.  
I think I hear a little kitty under the bed.  
I know you're making noises just to mess with my head.  
You can stalk me all you want, but I'm not your prey.  
You always seem to find me first, but not today.

(x3)  
Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight?  
Little bitty kitty want to bite, bite, bite.

Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight,  
Come on now, I'm going get you now.

I've got him cornered and now he's mine.  
He's not going to get away this time.  
I'll snatch him up fast and before he can blink,  
And then, awww man, he's a sleep in the sink...  
What is with this cat? I'm confused.  
He's got a bed but it's never been used.  
In every waking moment kitty is up for the fight.  
Then... next minute kitty's out like a light.  
How could I let this little creature inside of my home.  
I got to keep an eye on him when I'm on the phone.  
I'm a little afraid to leave this cat all alone.  
This kitty may destroy everything that I own.  
Look at him now, I kind of feel bad.  
He's the best little cat that I've had  
And the one big thing I forgot to mention was that  
He wasn't fighting, he just wanted attention.

(x3)  
Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight?  
Little bitty kitty want to bite, bite, bite.

Hey little Sparta what is with all the fight,  
Showing love, that's all this kitty does.

Mai:Heck! I'll video tape this shit.*takes photos and records it*I can multitask.

Hanataro:Sorry, my captain won't allow me to say. Mew.

Mai:Say it.

Hanataro:They have a lot of healthy vitamins and ingredients that give you energy. Mew.

Mai:They are like senzu beans!

Hanataro:I guess so, but the upperclassmen switched mine with flour filled ones as a prank. Mew.

Mai:Poor Hana! **RainingSun:**

**YAY! MAI-CHAN'S BACK!! XD**

****

Well that chapter was entertaining :3 So this chapter's guests are Yamamoto, Hanataro, and who was the other one? Oh yeah... Aizen.

Yamamoto-sama, pleased to meet you *bows* Now I dare you to dance the Caramelldansen. Yes. The Caramelldansen.  
Hanataro-kun! Hi! *waves* Umm... Even though you're in 4th company which is healing, Why is your Zanpaku-to so weak? Unohana-taichou's turns into a giant ray-thing! And Isane-chan's has 2 other tiny blades! Why are you left out?  
And... Aizen. Hello. *glares* *ignores*

OH! Special request! Can you have Renji and Izuru come in sometime kudasai? I LOVE Renji and Izuru!! Well I guess that's it for now. Byee~!

**~*| Raiin-chan |*~**

Yamamoto:Finally a youth with some respect.*reads dare*Never mind. *dances*

Hanataro:H-hello. My zanpakuto is a healing type that can release a huge blast once it is charged up. I guess it wasn't meant for me to have a super awesome and powerful sword.... Mew.

Aizen:Another person that doesn't have good taste I see.

Eddy:I think your cool.

Aizen:Really?

Eddy:Psych! I wish I could do my hair like you.

Mai:A-oh, we've got a lot of requests!

Grimmjow:**Animefan0410:**

**Awesomeness it's Yamamoto!You rule!..I'm definitely not messing with him or he'll kick me ..Hello Hanataro! You seem weak and pathetic, but your zampaktou is pretty awesome. I do have a dare for you. Charge up your zampaktou on Grimmjow, because I want to see him all loopy, and shoot the blast at..Hm..Eddy. Because I find him strangely anoying.**

Grimmjow:But that means I have to get fucked up.

Mai:Yep.

Grimmjow:You are going to like this. Its my welcome back present.

Mai:Yep.*beats the crap out of Grimmjow*

Hanataro:I think thats enough. Mew.

Mai:*ignores him and keeps hitting him*

Hanataro:MAI! MEW!

Mai:AHHH!

Hanataro:I'm sorry.*heals Grimmjow and blasts Eddy* Mew.

Eddy:What the fuck bitch!?

Hanataro:I'm sorry again. Mew.

Eddy:Better watch your back because when you least expect it, I'm going to get you.*takes out comb and brushes his hair*

Mai:Haha. He took out a comb.

Ulquiorra:**DarkDanteJ:**

**SUP im rly bored and tired atm so i dare everyone! (including reviewers) to come to my OC's mansion far east of the soul society so that we can welcome Mai back and since Mai is the guest of Honor only Byakuya,Jushiro and...Ulquiorra(dunno why)can dance with her and Lily-dono i didn't forget you you get Grimmjow,Jushiro(Lily then mai)and however else from some anime show i don't care to know have fun and if you blow up my mansion I'll use my zanpaktou to "DESTROY US ALL" the end ^.^**

Jushiro:That seems fun!

Ulquiorra:It will probably be trashy, but alright.

Grimmjow:Yeah!

Mai:Thats sounds tight. See you there.

Jushiro:But Mai-chan, Lily-chan and you are going to the karaoke bar!

Mai:We can do both together! She's invited along with the other reviewers! We'll go to the karaoke bar first or the party first. Her choice.

Jushiro:I get to dance with my Lily-chan!

Mai:So lets get a move on!

J.J.:I'm gonna dance with Karahime!

Kenpachi:*lifts J.J. by the collar*You better dance with Yachiru too you little heart breaking man whore.

Gaara:I wonder if Katizo will want to dance in her condition.

Ulquiorra:Charisei better get out of that court room so we can rave all night.

All:.....*have a what the fuck expression*

Mai:Rave? Anyway, Toshiro, Momo, Yachiru, Dordoni, Kisuke, Renji, and Izuru are coming. The permanent people are Kenpachi, Byakuya, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Jushiro, J.J., me, and Gaara because I wanna see how he'll handle father hood. Now lets go party! Member to thank DarkDanteJ!


	18. Sesame Street

Mai:Hello everyone.*waves*

Renji:You should be on one of those princess floats in the parade. You've got the wave down.*waves like a princess*

Mai:Renji, you are so right and never do it again.

Byakuya:He just wants to let the Disney princess inside, out.

Renji:Well taicho, I don't dress like one at least.

Izuru:That pink kimono says otherwise.

Mai:Just to be fair to Vampire-hime and all others who do not like IchiRuki, there will be an IchiRuki reference when Renji starts crying and has a breakdown because he lost Rukia to Ichi.

Renji:Are you psychic?

Mai:A little.

Kisuke:Amazing talent if I say so myself. **KuroEqualsBitch:**

**Awesome once again!**

****

Okay Dare's first:  
1) I dare Toshi and Momo to kiss eachother, ON THE LIPS, OPEN MOUTH!  
2) I dare Yachiru to dye Toshi's hair black, because its sexy!  
3) I also dare her to dye Juushiro's hair black and Momo's hair white.  
4) I dare Renji to get his tattoo's removed. Its painful.  
5) I dare Izuru to wear a frilly pink dress and sing 'Man I feel like a woman'  
6) I dare Toshi to wear this -holds up a white kitty suit complete with a bell around the neck thats held by a blue ribbon- and say 'Nya' at the end of every sentence.

Truths:  
1) Toshi, do you love Momo-chan?^_^  
2) Renji, Do you go to Hisagi's house at night and you two do a '69'?  
3) Momo, do you have any embarrassing moments? Please tell if you do!  
4) Izuru, were you emo all your life or just after Gin left you?  
5) Uki-kun, do you think black is sexy or is silver sexy on a girl?  
6) Kisuke, do you want suck at Ichigo's lollipop? xD  
7) Can I kiss you Bya-Bya? Too late! -kisses him on the lips-  
8) Kenny... how can you put up with the she-devil called your vice captain?!  
9) Don-panini!(Dordoni) YOU ARE WEAK BUT WHY?!  
10) Toshi, who was your old captain? I've always wanted to know!  
11) Izuru, do you cut yourself?  
12) Toshi, idea alert! Why don't you ever threaten Rangiku that you would throw out her sake, since you know all her secret compartments, if she doesn't do the paperwork?  
13) Uki, do you love Unohana-san?

**And thats all! Sorry for a lot of questions! But I couldn't resist!**

Kenpachi:Jushiro Jr. is gonna kiss Aizen's stalker?

Toshiro:*punches Kenpachi*

Mai:Kenpachi, you never learn.

Momo:Ummm. Shiro-

Toshiro:Be quiet.*kisses her passionately*

Yachiru:*dyes Toshiro's hair while he is kissing Momo*

Mai:I like his pretty white hair though!

Yachiru:*dyes Jushiro's black, Momo's white, and Kenpachi's pink*

Kenpachi:Damn it Chiru! Why?

Yachiru:Because J.J. told me you forced him to dance with me.

Kenpachi:Oh.....

Renji:My tattoos! No!

Mai:Luckily I can do it!*removes his tattoos*

Renji:AH! Ooo! Ouch!*starts to cry*

Mai:Stop your bitching Renji.

Izuru:*puts on frilly dress* I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright  
Gonna let it all hang out  
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice  
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout  
No inhibitions-make no conditions  
Get a little outta line  
I ain't gonna act politically correct  
I only wanna have a good time

The best thing about being a woman  
Is the prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady  
Men's shirts-short skirts  
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style  
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction  
Color my hair-do what I dare  
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel  
Man! I feel like a woman!

The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take  
The chance to get out on the town  
We don't need romance-we only wanna dance  
We're gonna let our hair hang down

The best thing about being a woman  
Is the prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady  
Men's shirts-short skirts  
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style  
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction  
Color my hair-do what I dare  
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel  
Man! I feel like a woman!

The best thing about being a woman  
Is the prerogative to have a little fun (fun, fun)

Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady  
Men's shirts-short skirts  
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style  
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction  
Color my hair-do what I dare  
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel  
Man! I feel like a woman!

I get totally crazy  
Can you feel it  
Come, come, come on baby  
I feel like a woman

Mai:There Renji.*smacks his sore skin*Not so bad.

Renji:WHY!?

Byakuya:I am finally rid of those awful tattoos that would darken my doorway.

Toshiro:*puts on kitty suit*I hate this. Nya. I love her*looks at Momo*as a sister......Nya.

Renji:Thats a sex position.

Byakuya:Obviously moron.

Renji:No. I mean Rukia crushed my heart and spirit, but not badly enough for me to do it with Hisagi.

Momo:Well-

Toshiro:She still wets her bed. Nya.

Mai:I hope you mean pees the bed.

Toshiro:I do. Nya.

Izuru:I was pretty much the same emo.

Renji:Just gave him a reason to be.

Jushiro:I think both of those are.

Kisuke:No, don't be silly. I think my relationship with Yoruichi has been established the last time she was here.

Grimmjow:She didn't say anything about you when I was with her. But then again, who wants to just talk with me?

Mai:Conceited again I see.

Byakuya:I am sure Mai-chan wouldn't mind a peck on the chee-*is kissed on the lips*

Mai:*is grinding her teeth*

Byakuya:Mai-chan, sweetheart don't do that. It will ruin your teeth.*gives her bite guard*

Mai:Your not my mom.*throws bite guard at Renji*

Kenpachi:You learn to tune Yachiru out and sleep through it. Thats why I take afternoon naps.

Dordoni:I wasn't meant to last.

Mai:Its okay Don Kanonji.

Dordoni:It's Dordoni niña.

Mai:Cállate viejo menso. (shut up old dummy)

Dordoni:Hmph.

Toshiro:My captain was-

Mai:Wasn't the old captain of squad 10 Ichi's dad?

Toshiro:Yes but he wasn't my captain. I don't really know. Nya.

Mai:How could you not know who you captain was? I've had 5 captains and I remember them all.

Toshiro:What the hell? Nya.

Mai:Yup. First it was Kenny, but he said I was even to violent for his squad.

Kenpachi:Oh yeah.

Mai:Then I went to Gin's, but he called me a liar and said I was going to stab him in the back. I don't know why though. Then Yamamoto's. Then Byakun, but was kicked out for using Renji's face to destroy his office.

Byakuya:That was you? Why?

Mai:He was sexually harassing me and I am a little hurt by it still.

Byakuya:I didn't know. All it said on the report was "A crazy bitch attacked me for no reason."

Mai:Then I was put into Jushiro's. We became good friends when I bought the rights to his body, not in _that_ way, pervs. Okay in that way too, but that was before, when I wanted to make a quick buck.

Izuru:I only cut myself when I hurt inside.

Mai:All the time then.

Izuru:Yes.

Toshiro:She still has more tricks up her sleeves so my threats are useless. Nya.

Jushiro:I love Retsu as a long time friend. *looks around and whispers to Kuro* She too old for me.

Kenpachi:Watch your mouth!

Mai:You are dating Unonhana? I think I was in her squad for a day.

Kenpachi:Yes. I think. She tries to hide it though....

Mai:We'll bring her so she can tell us what's going on.

Kenpachi:Good. I'd like to know.

Renji:Captain Kuchiki, how have you kept your sanity for so long?

Byakuya:Do you see her?*points at Mai*If you knew what happens after every show you would understand, but since you are never going to touch her you can dream lieutenant.

Renji:Yes sir..... **LilyGirl101:**

**I'm a bit of a pacifist now...thanks to Zaki-chan!! Love you, Zaki-chan! *hugs him* Hey, Zaki-chan, I want another piggy-back ride please! (he's so tal!) PLEASE?!?!?**

****

Mai-chan, we will go to the karaoke bar first, and then be fashionably late for the party! *hugs* Mai-chan, is being a mother really on your to-do list? O.o I'm a little frightened...wow, look at that criminal record! S'OK, though. My record's just as bad! :-p

Hey! Stop hating Aizen-chan! He's AWESOME! *hugs him* He's not a superman wannabe...

Shiro-chan, I'm glad you like my singing! X-) *hugs him* It really means a lot to me! I'm glad you like French food! I'll take you out! *hugs again* You're awesome! I love you! I can't wait to dance with you at the party!

Thank you, Dark-chan! I don't hate you anymore! Aw! I wanted to dance with Ulquiorra-chan! Oh, well! *gasp* I get to dance with someone from another show? *gasps again* Does that mean I can dance with KIBA-CHAN?!?!?!?! *squeals in delight* I GET TO DANCE WITH KIBA-CHAN! YAY! *does happy dance* I GET TO DANCE WITH KIBA-CHAN AND AKAMARU-CHAN!! KIBA-CHAN!! I LOVE KIBA-CHAN!

Oh, Shiro-kun again? *hugs him* I didn't get to play with him last time...*pout. I like Momo-chan! Chiru-chan is adorable, and she is a lot like me (I'm always getting lost and giving bad directions! :-p) AH!! It's KISUKE-CHAN!! *hugs him a lot* I like his hat...he's so funny!! *hugs Renji too* Renji-chan!! You have funny eyebrows... Izuru...why is your hair falling over your eyes? It is a fashion choice...or what? It just confuses me...

Anyway! Ja ne! Gotta go pick out a trashy dress to wear to the party! :-p Wanna come, Mai-chan?

**Signed with love and laziness,  
Lily-chan**

Kenpachi:Hop on. *gives piggy back ride*

Yachiru&Jushiro:*burning with jealousy*

Yachiru:I am the only girl that gets to ride on Ken-chan's back.

Jushiro:I'm tall too! But it makes Lily-chan happy so I am happy.

Mai:In the future. I've seen what happens in reality if you aren't careful. Anyway I don't think Byakuya's going to get a chance now.

Byakuya:Nobutitwasn'tmesodon'tbemad!

Mai:Wha?

Byakuya:No but it wasn't me so don't be mad.

Mai:Okay! I can't stay mad at you. I don't hate Aizen but I don't love him. I like his hair though.

Eddy:Lucky bastard.

Mai:Get out of here! You just bring misery!

Eddy:I would get pissed but I don't know what that means.

Grimmjow:Me either.

Byakuya:The reason his eyebrows are funny is because he is a retard delinquent and tattooed them on.

Renji:Faggot! You are a faggot!

Mai:Trust me when I say he is definitely not a faggot.

Renji:Woah. I think I am getting a clue about what you were talking about now.

Izuru:I have my hair like this because I like it.

Mai:Sure I still need my trashy dress.

Renji:Now I got the full picture captain!

Byakuya:Good now you need to forget it.

Renji:You said I could dream!

Toshiro:Here we go again. Old men and their stupid arguments. Nya. **DarkDanteJ:**

**i have a soulution for the karaoke bar and mah party *opens garganta* YES it fits not the karaoke bar is in my mansion and your welcome Mai-Sama i'm just so happy for ur return and because i felt sorry for your,jushiro-sama and lily-dono for your predicament and as another gift...*opens phone and texts at the speed of light* ok Byakuya put senbonzakura around the house...ok *brings in gift and puts it in the living room*sorry it's so big xD i'll tell you what it is in my review and have a question for Renji:why do you always use your bankai first, it makes you look weak and a praise for Kira i luv your Decaptation thing in your fight with the bird dude it was awesome! the end and Please enjoy the parteh**

Mai:Thanks Dante! What is it-what is it-what is it-

Yachiru:*fills Mai's mouth with candy*

Renji:I use it first so I can end the fight quickly. I don't like to drag it on.

Mai:I thought it was cool that he went all out at first until he started eating shit on every fight!

Renji:Hey!

Izuru:Thank you.

Mai:See, you made him a little less emo.

Momo:Party? Can we go?

Mai:Sure.

Momo:Hooray! **katizo terusei:**

**Karahime: YAY! PARTY!!  
Katizo: hi Izuru-kun! *hugs*  
Charisei: i got out! but they are looking for Grimmjow now.  
Katizo: i think i'm going to name them Kokoro (heart) and Kaminari (thunder).  
charisei: why did you hug Izuru?  
Katizo: he reminds me of Deidara. and i like blondes. *looks at Gaara* but i LOVE redheads. *kisses him* and don't worry the doctor said i'll be able to dance.**

Izuru:Uh.....

Gaara:Say thank you and watch where you are leaving your hands or I'll kill you.

Grimmjow:Holy cheetos! You could have gave me a heads up! Shit Charisei! If I get caught again I'ma go to prison for a long time.

Ulquiorra:Watch your tongue, trash.

Gaara:I knew you would come up with lovely names darling.*kisses her*

Mai:Thats so sweet! Can I be the godmother if you guys need one?

Byakuya:Can I be the godfather?

Gaara:Its okay with me, but we need Katizo's say.

Mai:Okay. Oh my gosh! One more day!

Gaara:I know! Isn't it exciting?

Mai:Yes! I like babies, but they kind of bug at their terrible twos.

J.J.:Did I bug?

Mai:You were in your terrible twos since you were born.

Gaara:**Animefan0410:**

**...I gues I'm forced to go then..I'm going to see if I can help Yachiru with her pranks. Hopefully her daddy Kenpachi won't try and kill me o_o Yay it'sDordonii! You're awesome!...I wouldn't mind seeing the people from the Karakura Riser squad sometime XD (Chizuru, Tatsuki, I think Keigo, Don Konoitchi and Kon).**

**Ps. As a nice dare, I'm daring the bleach characters to dress up nicely!**

Mai:C'mon, we'll have fun!

Dordoni:Thank you very much niño.

Kenpachi:I won't kill you if you don't touch her.

Jushiro:I guess we'll have them over.

Byakuya:I always dress my nicest. It is just in my nature.

Renji:A pretty boy nature.

Mai:Who's going to help Renji with his sense of style?

Byakuya:He doesn't have one. How did I ended up with a lieutenant like you?

Renji:I don't know why I 'm even here anymore. Rukia chose Ichigo. I'm done living! That bastard! That bastard!*cries hysterically on Byakuya's shoulder*

Byakuya:Abarai, you are embarrassing yourself. If you are embarrassing yourself, you are embarrassing your squad and if the squad is embarrassed than I'm embarrassed.*moves his shoulder around to get Renji*

Renji:I don't care anymore!*latches on to him tightly*

Mai:Renji if you kiss him, I'll fucking kill you.

Renji:*kisses Mai*

Mai:*slaps*

Byakuya:You have made the worst mistake of your life.

Renji:You are going to mix your personal life and the office?

Byakuya:I'm not going to do, I wouldn't dare touch the mental inefficient. Mai-chan has a different philosophy.

Mai:Consume in darkness. Bend reality at my will Kuraiki.*tortures Renji relentlessly with her zanpakuto*

Byakuya:**Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

***Watching video* *Falls out of chair*  
Oh yeah, i forgot i was reviewing!  
YAY! My favorite characters are coming!!  
Dordoni: Can i call you Don Panini? PLEASE?? Otherwise, i won't remember your name...  
KISUKE!!: Hehe, I LOVE your hat! I have a question for you... Why did you decide to open up a candy shop when you went to the world of the living? Why not something like a bar?  
SHIRO-CHAN! Your my favorite captain!! Your just so awesome! Also, do you like Momo?? Even though you two have known each other for a long time..  
Renji and Izuru!! Yay! You two are my all around favorite Vice captains!  
Izuru: How do you get your hair to do the 3-pointed thingy? It looks complicated... O_o  
Renji: Why don't you ever wear your hair down? it looks awesome like that :)  
Momo: Hm... I dare you to... Kidnap Shiro-chans teddy bear! (Don't deny that you don't have one, I've seen it with my own two eyes!)  
I agree with Animefan0410, i was forced to go!  
...**

Dordoni:Go ahead niña.

Kisuke:Isn't my hat great? Mai told me it was lame.

Mai:When did I say that?!

Kisuke:I wanted to open a candy shop because I love candy!

Toshiro:I like Momo as a friend and sister. Nya.

Izuru:Yeah it kind of is. It gets easier with practice.

Renji:My hair gets in my face too much. Unlike Captain Kuchiki's, mine is unruly and disobedient.

Byakuya:*hair flip*

Mai:Don't you dare say it! Those bastards at L'oreal need to pay me for this kind of advertisement.

Byakuya:Force of habit.

Mai:Your hair does look awesome down Renji.

Renji:Thanks.

Momo:*takes his teddy bear*

Toshiro:No! Mr. Stuffy Wuffy Wittle Bear!

J.J.:Even I don't have a teddy bear.

Mai:You guys! We'll have a ton of fun there!

Gaara:**RainingSun:**

**Konnichiwa minna-san!**

****

Wow, lots of guests this chapter!! So let's get started.  
Kisuke, you're always cheerful so I dare you to be a depressed emo person for the rest of the chapter.  
Byakuya, I dare you to babysit Yachiru for the chapter. (Ukitake-chan! Make sure you give her some candy first!)  
Grimmjow, I dare you to switch ranks with Dordoni. (Like he'd be the 6th Espada and you'd be a hundred and something)  
RENJI! *glomps* IZURU! *glomps* I'M STEALING YOU! No objections! *Shunpos over there and grabs Renji and Izuru* *takes them back* MUAHAHA! XD You're welcome!! :3 3  
Oh hey Izuru you know how to cook right? Can you make us supper kudasai?? *cute face*  
Can't think of any more at the moment lol. Sayounara!

**~*| Rain-chan, Renji, Izuru |*~**

Kisuke:You want me to be Izuru's clone? Okay.*is depressed*

Byakuya:Oh God. Please don't make me! I barely survived last time!

Mai:It wasn't so bad.

Byakuya:You didn't do anything! Flashback please J.J.

J.J.:Got it.*plays flashback: Byakuya:No lieutenant! Thats a family heirloom! _crack_ Thats my room! _boom_ Mai:ZZZZ*asleep* Yachiru:Mwhahaha! Mwhahaha! Byakuya:Mai help please! Mai:ZZZZ. end flashback*

Mai:I had a long day! Jushiro actually made me work. Very hard too.

Kenpachi:Thank very very much RainingSun. Yachiru, you can whine and emotionally scar Byakuya now.

Jushiro:*gives her a sack of candy*

Grimmjow:Fine!*switches ranks*I'm keeping the tattoo though. Its badass.

Izuru:O-okay. Is this like a date!

Mai:Ey. She said cook for her. Don't take it that far.

Izuru:Renji! I got a date!

Renji:Why is it always everyone else?

Grimmjow:I know how you feel. **pinkfire101:**

**YEAH MAI BACK!! *Hugs Mai* Anyway Toshiro, Kisuke, Renji, Kenpachi, Byakuya, and Grimmjow all in the same room I think I'm going to faint! To have all my favorite characters in the same room this is awesome!! But you are missing Ichigo!! Any way here are my question/dares.**

**Toshiro: OMG!! *hugs him really tight* Uh...sorry. I have a question, who would you rather be with Momo or Karin? I really hope its Karin and not Momo!**

**Kisuke: Are you in love with cat lady I mean Yoruichi?**

**Renji: I dare you to fight Kenpachi!**

**Kenpachi: Who is Yachiru mother?**

**Byakuya: When will you and Mai have children!**

**Grimmjow: I dare you to go to Wal-Mart dressed as the boogie man and scare the employees and ONLY the employees!**

**Momo: I really dislike you so I have nothing to say to you.**

**Yachiru: I can't doing anything to you because you are just too cute so here I a bag candy. *hands her a big bag of candy***

**Izuru: Why do you act so emo? No offense to any emo people but why?**

**J.J: You remind me of my little brother his name is Ryan. And he is around the same age as you and he kind of acts like you to. It's really scary at times.**

**Mai: Mai me alegra mucho que la espalda!! (Translation: Mai I am so happy that your back!!)**

Mai:Yes and I am mostly like going to stay.

J.J.:Most likely?

Mai:Yeah, the teletubbies are after me now! I think they are targeting emos. Ulquiorra was hit last time.

Toshiro:Karin, I guess.

Mai:Better treat my cuz like the lady she is, shorty.

Kisuke:Yup! I love Yoruichi!

Mai:Then go for it!

Renji:Yaah!*attacks Kenpachi*

Kenpachi:Not much of a challenge. *beats him in two seconds* I don't know who her mom is. I just found her crawlin' around.

Yachiru:More candy! Munch munch!

Byakuya:When we are ready and married.

Mai:Having kids looks like it hurts.

Grimmjow:Boo! Rawr!*dressed as Boogieman and heads to Walmart*

Momo:You dislike me.....

Izuru:I am like this because life is depressing.

J.J.:There's a lot of people are like me huh?

Mai:Yup. Me alegra mucho que la esplada? Sweetie esplada means back as in your spine. I think you mean Me alegra mucho que regresaste. Regresar means back as in come back.

Grimmjow:She didn't ask for a Spanish class.

Mai:Are you done with your dare?

Grimmjow:I've been to every Walmart in the country. I think I scared one of your uncles.

Mai:Thats not possible. To have done that, that would require him to have a job.

Grimmjow:Ice cold ain't ya?

Byakuya:Nope. Supernova hot.

Jushiro:**HanakoAnimeaddict:**

**I have a dare for anyone who wants to do it.  
Please sing the Sesame Street theme song.**

Mai:Me!Sunny Day  
Sweepin' the clouds away  
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,  
How to get to Sesame Street

Come and play  
Everything's A-OK  
Friendly neighbors there  
That's where we meet

Can you tell me how to get  
How to get to Sesame Street

It's a magic carpet ride  
Every door will open wide  
To Happy people like you--  
Happy people like  
What a beautiful

Sunny Day  
Sweepin' the clouds away  
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,  
How to get to Sesame street...  
How to get to Sesame Street  
How to get to...

J.J.:SESAME STREET! Sorry.

Mai:Yeah. Thats like an anthem to him and his gang.

J.J.:*starts crying*I'm sorry it's just that Oscar the grouch got shot down yesterday. They just drive-byed his dirty ass. Pobercito! Missin' you homie!

Mai:Sorry to hear that.....

Grimmjow:So, did you guys know that Pluto isn't a planet anymore?

All:NOOOO. Really?

Byakuya:That happened years ago. Seriously you feline imbecile.

Toshiro:Just because I'm in this suit doesn't give you the right Kuchiki! Nya!

Byakuya:I wasn't talking to you, naive youth!

Mai:Thank you for reading everyone! Its time to go bye bye because I don't want my house to be a cryogenic freezer! Next time Retsu Unohana and the Karakura Risers.

Byakuya:Why do you invite people that have absolutely no connection to each other whatsoever?

Mai:Crazy shit happens.

Ulquiorra:I long for a peaceful and quiet chapter.

Mai:The fuck? Where were you this whole chapter?

Ulquiorra:Winky and Po found me. They say your next.

Mai:Sorry I asked.


	19. Fairy Godmothers

Retsu:Welcome to Q&A with Jushiro Ukitake.

Mai:Hey! Thats my job!

Retsu:Today the Karakura Risers and I are their guests.

Mai:Stop stealing my-

Retsu:*gives a scarily friendly smile*Lets welcome each other.

Mai:Okay you can host.

Kon:Karakura Riser! *explosion*

Don Kanonji:Karakura Riser Spirit!*explosion*

Tatsuki:Karakura Riser Beast!*explosion*

Chizuru:Karakura Riser Erotic!*explosion*

Ururu:Karakura Riser Tiny Devil.*explosion*

Keigo:Karakura Riser Delicate.

J.J.:What the hell? It didn't go-*explodes in his face*

Mai:You guys remind me of the power rangers. A more adult version because of Erotic but yeah.

Jushiro:Welcome Karakura Risers. Hello captain, nice to see you.

Kon:Yeah hi. Where's Nee-san!? **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: of course you and Byaku-boo and be the godparents Mai  
Karahime: *looking at photos online*  
Charisei: they gave up on Grimmjow, someone tell Uryu to run and hide  
Karahime: AWW! Charisei look at this pic!  
Charisei: *looks* omg! Mai you have to see this give me your E-mail adress and i'll send it to you.  
Katizo:...uh-oh  
Charisei: Kat? *realizes* shit! Karahime call an ambulance!  
Karahime: breathe Katizo Breathe.  
Katizo: so impatient...*goes to Hostpital with Charisei*  
Karahime: GAARA GO! NOW! and anyone else who wants to see the babies!**

Mai:Yay! I'm a fairy godmother!

Byakuya:Listen very carefully Mai. You are not a fairy godmother. You can't fly or grant wishes.

Mai:Says you! I can grant so grant wishes and fly! Chizuro make a wish!

Chizuro:To have a large chested girl with me!

Mai:Okay.... Wrong person to ask for a G rated wish. Ururu.

Ururu:Candy would be nice.

Mai:*makes it rain candy*

Byakuya:You had that rigged. Fly then.

Mai*Jumps off the couch and starts flying across the room*See.

Byakuya:I will never believe in magic.

Gaara:The baby is coming! Come on Godparents!

Byakuya:Who's going to be the sarcastic one when I'm gone?

Mai:Grimmjow! Handle.

Grimmjow:Do I look like a dog?

Mai:Good job!*leaves with Byakuya and Gaara*

Keigo:Four eyes is in trouble with the law? Man I missing out on everything! **LilyGirl101:**

***still getting dressed for the party* Sorry, everybody, I'm only half-dressed right now, but I gotta review...I'll multi-task, I suppose...**

****

Hey, where was Gaara this chapter? I didn't see him anywhere...*looks around while pulling on dress*

Sorry, Chiru-chan! I won't ride again! It'll be the last time, I promise! *gives her cookies and hugs* I'm weak when it comes to tall people! X-D

Oh, no! Renji-chan's TATTOOS! Oh, I suppose...he can always put them back...right? :-( It's his eyebrows that are part of his amazingly awesome coolness...*hugs Renji* Don't be so sad, Renji-chan!

Ah! Don't insult Grimmjow-chan! You're being very mean, Bya-nii-chan! *not talking to him*

You should give Ul-chan a quiet chapter SOMETIME!! After all this, this has turned into something of a soap opera! All this drama!

Ooh, I wonder what the surprise is? I'm so excited! I GET TO DANCE WITH KIBA-CHAN!! Oh my gosh, Kiba-chan is so hot, and so cute, and so amazingly awesome!! He's so cool!! Oh, I love Kiba-chan! Love, love, love, love, love,love Kiba-chan with a capitol L-O-V-E! YAY! KIBA-CHAN! Love Kiba-chan!

*still not done getting dressed* Ul-chan...could you help me tie up the back of this dress?

Signed with love and lust for Kiba-chan,  
Lily-chan *finally done getting dressed*

**P.S.- I have a question for Retsu-chan that has nothing to do with anything...I saw a video for you, and it was to the song "Wake Me Up Inside", by Evanescence. What does that have to do with you? Is there something signifigant that I'm just MISSING?!?!**

Jushiro:He was probably with Katizo.

Grimmjow:I thought you would have gone to see the babies.

Jushiro:Oh no! I am far too squeamish.

Kenpachi:Don't mind Yachiru. You can ride any time.

Renji:*hugs Lily-chan*

Grimmjow:Can I have a hug too?

Ulquiorra:Thank you for agreeing with me. This fic has taken a dramatic turn hasn't it? I'll be _glad_ to help you.

Grimmjow:Well first you have to look at the meaning of the lyrics. The song is talking about a person feeling bored or unhappy with their lives or dead inside and need someone to wake them from their boring slumbe or bring them back to life. Retsu Unohana has lived a long time and one would think she is bored with her life so she would want Kenpachi or Jushiro or whoever to "bring her to life" They could also be insinuating that she would be involved in high risk behavior.

Ulquiorra:Gr-grimmjow, how did you figure out all that out? You aren't really Grimmjow! It's not possible for him to think!

Grimmjow:Calm down. I just googled it.

Ulquiorra:Good. I thought the world was ending.

Grimmjow:You thought you weren't the smartest and that scares you!

Jushiro:He isn't the smartest. I am.

J.J.:You guys are all wrong! Mai is.

Jushiro:No. I'm pretty sure it's me.

J.J.:Jushiro, are you okay? You aren't acting like yourself.

Jushiro:I just want more lines. This is Q&A with JUSHIRO, but everyone else is getting the attention.

Ururu:Actually, we haven't been speaking and we are guests.

Jushiro:BLBBBH!

Ururu:I'm just saying-

Jushiro:BLBBBBBHHHH!

Ururu:Stop tha-

Jushiro:BLBBBH!

Ururu:*repeatedly slams his face in a wall***RainingSun:**

**Hi! Just so you all know, Izuru is a superfantasticninja chef!! He made us very delicious yummy food for supper~ (Actually I only had a bit because SOMEONE *coughRejicough* ate almost all of it.) In any case I'm keeping them. So HA.**

****

As for questions/dares...  
Ulquiorra, is it true that you're actually a reincarnation of L?  
Kenny, I dare you to give up your Zanpaku-to for the chapter. Which means, no fighting whatsoever, even without your Zanpaku-to.  
I know, I couldn't think of that many good ones lol. I'm tired. And the smell of the cake Izuru's baking is driving me crazy! *o*  
As for this party that DarkDanteJ is throwing, would I happen to be invited to said party?

**~*| Rain-chan |*~**

Ulquiorra:You can keep them. No, we discovered we are twin brothers. If I was his reincarnation we couldn't be in the same place because I would be him and he would be dead which made me.

Grimmjow:My head hurts from thinking that through.

Kenpachi:I haven't been fighting very much lately.

Jushiro:Sure you can come! He said everyone. Even reviewers.

Retsu:Sounds like fun. May I join?

All:..........

Retsu:What's wrong?

J.J.:Well you kind of don't seem like the party kind of person.

Retsu:I love parties, but I don't get invited to the fun ones....

Kenpachi:You can come as my date.

Retsu:......

Kenpachi:I'm a catch! Aren't I?

All:.......

Retsu:**Sougyo no kotowari:**

**AWW MAN! RainingSun stole Renji and Izuru! I planned on kidnapping them later...  
Karakura Risers? I think i skipped those episodes,I'm not sure...  
Oh yeah,before i forget, that recording of Grimmjow singing the Mean Kitty song "accidently" went viral... Not my fault though... i would give you the link but i'm afraid to give out my Youtube account name (AKA i'm scared of stalkers!)  
Wow. I'm shocked... Shiro-chan didn't yell at me to call him "Captain Hitsugaya" or "Hitsugaya-Taicho"  
Anyways,  
Byakuya: I triple dog dare you to read a YAOI fanfiction in the bleach section,I don't care which couple you read, have fun with it XD  
Mai: You were serious about the party, weren't you??  
Jushiro: You've been left out lately! Isn't this your Q&A? TAKE CHARGE MAN!  
Random fact: Did you know Shiro-chan sung the "White and Nerdy" song? It's funny!**

Kon:I am the great leader! Karakura Riser!

Tatsuki:I should be leader!

Don Kanonji:No me! Buhahaha!

Jushiro:We aren't stalkers. Maybe Grimmjow.

Grimmjow:You stalk one hot aunt and you're branded for life.

Jushiro:It seems she branded you with a knife wound on your butt.

J.J.:Mai finds it annoying when Captain Hitsugaya does that so she said she would shove her fist down his throat if he did.

Grimmjow:I'll text Byakuya his dare.

Ulquiorra:You are really into human technology aren't you? You gotten quite fast.

Grimmjow:Yeah. Mai taught me and now I'm obsessed. Here is his reply. _OMG I can see the baby's head. GTG. Thx for tellin me._

Kenpachi:What the fuck does OMG and GTG mean?

Jushiro:It means Oh my God and Got to Go. Duh!

Kenpachi:Oh. Let me text Mai her question.*texts*

Mai:_Errr. What do u mean?_

Ulquiorra:She's confused. What a shock.

Jushiro:You are right! I should take charge!

J.J.:Chill Shiro. You can talk to Mai about that.

Jushiro:_Chill_. You want me to _chill_. *throws chair and hits Keigo by accident*Hows that for _chil_?!

Retsu:Oh dear. This is getting out of hand.*shoots him with a tranquilizer*Shush shush Jushiro.

Tatsuki:Okay. That isn't scary. **pinkfire101:**

**Opps sorry my bad never get a spanish lesson from your step-dad who doesn't know spanish as their first language.**

J.J.:It's okay. Mai's a know-it-all anyway. Like Ulqui.

Ulquiorra:Shut it. Hey, she's our 100th review!

Jushiro:*throws confetti*Yay! You get a cake baked by Kenpachi.

Kenpachi:I like to bake in my spare time.

J.J.:The fuck? You're a therapist and you bake. Maybe you aren't as manly as you let on....

Kenpachi:I am manly! I would have sliced your head if you weren't a little kid, I could fight, and you weren't Mai's little sister!

J.J.:I'm a fuckin' boy!*slaps him*

Kenpachi:Ooo I so wanna beat yer ass.

Retsu:Calm down or I'll have to sedate you too.

Kenpachi:You!*points at Retsu* You deny have a relationship with me then the next minute you are telling me you 'love' me and you always wanna stay. Lies!

Retsu:I do love you!

Kenpachi:Then I want you to yell it right in the middle of a captain's meeting!

Retsu:I can't do that.

Kenpachi:Then go find some other lonely guy!

Mai:I have returned from witnessing the miracle of birth!

Byakuya:It was beautiful and has inspired me too-

Kenpachi:Mai! Retsu won't profess her love to me in a captain's meeting!

Jushiro:Mai! I don't get enough attention anymore!

Kon:Mai! My Nee-san isn't here!

J.J.:Mai! I gotta go pee!

Mai:Shut the fuck up! Kenpachi, if she doesn't want to tell others about you two then that obviously means something. Jushiro, talk up more then. Next time no guests so to help you with that. Kon, I never said she _was_ going to be here. I said her nii-sama was here. J.J. go to the bathroom by yourself. You're a big boy now!

J.J.:*whispers*There's a boy in the walls.

Mai:You need professional help again.

Kenpachi:I'm available at three.

Mai:You make it sound like you are so busy.

Kenpachi :After people heard I fixed you guys, I've been in high demand.

Mai:Don't wanna keep you too long then. Next time there will be no guests so Jushiro gets the attention he desires.


	20. Bad Spelling

Jushiro:Hi! Welcome to another chapter of insanity.

Mai:Thats very clever.

Gaara:Look at my babies!*shows everyone pictures*

All:Awww!

Mai:So cute!

Byakuya:*crying*They are so beautiful.

Mai:Yes they sure are.

Grimmjow:They are pretty cute.

J.J.:I wanna pinch their little cheeks!

Jushiro:As Byakuya said, they are very beautiful. **LilyGirl101:**

**Whoa...Shiro-chan's being an attention-w h o r e. I'm gonna back away until he calms down...I might get hit with a chair or something...*walks over with Ul-chan and Jow-chan* Also, remember when I was mad at you, Shiro-chan? You were kind of stalking me then...it was kinda creepy...**

****

*hugs Grimmjow* Oh, don't worry. If I don't know the lyrics to a song, I Google them too! Also, I was pretty obsessed with phones when my mom got me one! I haven't stopped texting on the thing since I got it! :-p And I'll "talk" to Bya-nii-chan about being mean to you...maybe I should "talk" to everyone else too. EVERYONE is mean to Jow-chan! How rude!

*hugs Ul-chan* Thanks for helping me with the dress! Hey, can I dance with Ul-chan at the party too, instead just of who Dark-chan told me to dance with? I like Ul-chan...Wow, you're L's twin brother? Who would have...wow, I see it now! Cool! *hugs him again* You're awesome, Ul-chan!

Zaki-chan, thanks! I like your piggyback rides! But I'm afraid of Chiru-chan...Anyway, if Retsu-chan doesn't want to tell anyone, that's her business. She is kind of a quiet woman...*hugs him* And I should know how busy he is! I still see him every day at four-thirty!

I'm glad you enjoyed watching childbirth! Anyway, I know how I felt when my baby brother was born. All three of them! But mostly the youngest one! I was the first person who got to hold him! It was so great! I'm sorry I missed Kat-chan's birth! :-( I was busy...

I just realized how very generous I am with giving hugs! I've hugged everyone on the show! Your own faults for all being hot GUYS! :-p *hugs them all, one at a time*

Hey, when is this party? I'm all excited! I wanna dance with Kiba-chan and Ul-chan and Jow-chan! (you all know who Kiba-chan is...right?. The suspense is building up!

So, what's everybody think? *twirls around in her trashy red dress* I took me a really long time to convince them I didn't want a see-through one...

Signed with impatient love and lust for Ul-chan and Kiba-chan,  
Lily-chan

**P.S.- Shiro-chan, why are you feeling left out? AHH!Is it MY FAULT?!?! *starts crying* It is, isn't it?!**

Jushiro:I'm calm.

Mai:I don't blame him for doing what he did though. You gotta let out some steam every once and a while. If not you go crazy like-

Jushiro:Like one of your relatives. Then you're going to proceed with some odd story. Right?

Mai:*sticks out tongue*

Grimmjow:Thank you Lily-chan. I think you are the only one that loves me.

Mai:Thats not true! I love my blue kitty!*hugs tightly*I love love love my Grimmy-kitty*looks at Byakuya glaring*as a little brother that likes my hugs.

J.J.:I don't like you touching me. You disgust me.

Mai:Screw you.

Grimmjow:How can I be your little brother if I'm older than you? And I love your hugs and Lily-chan's and everyone else female. Ulquiorra, you stay away since you are always insulting me, you fucking dickhead.

Ulquiorra:You dumba-*Looks at Mai sharpening her zanpakuto*The reason I insult you is because I lo-don't dislike you.

Mai:Just hug!*hugs Grimmjow and Ulquiorra*

Kenpachi:I don't even have to talk to fix people.

Mai:No comment on that Kenny-penny.

Ulquiorra:Thanks for thinking that Lily-chan.

Mai:I actually got a story about child birth.

J.J.:You mean when I was born?

Mai:Yup, but I'm not gonna tell it. Since Jushiro hates my stories!

Jushiro:They turn irrelevant to what's actually happening.

Ulquiorra:I would love to dance with you. It seems I'm going to have a lot of partners.

Mai:You don't have to dance with me. I just want to focus on one guy there.

Byakuya:Same here.

Mai:I like your dress Lily-chan. I know who Kiba is. He's cool. I like Akumaru.

Jushiro:It isn't because of you. I was just frustrated after hundreds of years of holding it in. That should be the last time anything like that happens.

Kenpachi:You still need to attend those my anger management courses with Grimmjow and Mai though.

Mai:Yay! Another pal in our classes.

Grimmjow:I think our rage is contagious.

Jushiro:Now I'm going to have this on my records....

Mai:It's not that bad! You could have a lot of crimes and charges like us.

Byakuya:Why are you so bad?

Mai:It's in my blood.

Jushiro:You should behave yourself now. Byakuya won't tolerate disregard of the law.

Byakuya:True.

Mai:I will. **katizo terusei:**

**Karahime: *squeals* who knew Gaara would have such cute babies?!!  
Katizo: *holding Kaminari* it's amazing how much he looks like his dad...the only thing i gave him was my brown eyes  
Charisei: *holding Kokaro* ya but she is the complete opposite the only thing she got from him is HIS eyes  
Kokaro: *reaches for Gaara* da-da  
Karahime: aww! she's a daddy's girl  
Charisei: and i agree with Kenpachi baking is bad ass!**

Mai:Kawaii! Too cute!

Gaara:You have the most beautiful eyes Kat. I'll carry her.*holds Kokaro*

Mai:So adorable! Can't take it. *faints*

Gaara:Mai! Don't you want to hold her?

Mai:Yes! I know how to take care of children. I've always had to take care of kids since I was a kid.*holds Kokaro*Hi little baby. This is nena.

Gaara:Nena?

Mai:You call your godmother nena. You call your godfather neno.

Byakuya:This is neno. Wait. Am I Kokaro's godfather or Kaminari's?

Kenpachi:My baking is pretty badass! I'm making everyone cookies!

Mai:Watch your mouth. There are little baby ears listening.

Kenpachi:Sorry. My baking is awesome. I'm making everyone giant cookies!

Gaara:It seems someone needs a diaper change!

Grimmjow:Ulquiorra?

Gaara:No! Kokaro smart one.

Mai:Can you guys bring over Kaminari too next time? I haven't seen him since the delivery room.

Gaara:You have to ask my wife.

Kokaro:Da-da-da-da.

Ulquiorra:She's hitting me with her little fist! It's so cute!

Jushiro:Aww! I would give candy, but she's a baby. I wanna hold her.

Gaara:Careful now.

Jushiro:Now I really want a child!

Mai:You would make a good dad too.

Byakuya:.......... **Animefan0410:**

**..I'm pretty sure I reviewed and was ignored *pout* Oh well *shrug* Quick thing to say to Kenpachi. If she can tell you that she loves you, and doesn't want to tell anybody you two are dating. Then she probably doesn't love you and talk to her about it or dump her and tell her why.**

**All my questions for Jushiro are gone, and I can't think of any dares lol Hmm..I got a boring question: What is your favorite candy?**

Mai:*reads last chapter*Oh my God, it's true. Damn it authoress you're fuckin' up!

Kenpachi:You cussed!

Mai:The babies aren't here and the point is the author fucked up, again.

xxbleedinglovexx:Oh no! I am so sorry. I was in a rush and I'm not even allowed to be on the computer now. I am very very sorry.

Jushiro:Tsk tsk.

Kenpachi:Yeah bad Bleeding Love whatever. Thats such an emo name. I was going to dump Retsu until she yelled out I love you Kenpachi! while Byakuya was reporting something about some stuff.... No one really listens when he talks.

Byakuya:That is rude-

Mai:I listen to ya!

Byakuya:You just did it-

J.J.:What's he crying about now?

Byakuya:I am not cr-

Jushiro:My favorite candy is.... I don't have a favorite. All candy is great candy.

Mai:Thats not true! You spat out the tamarindo candy I gave you.

Jushiro:It tasted weird. I thought you were trying to poison me.

Mai:So thats what it comes down to. Trust. Bitch! I trust you! Who knows? Maybe you already tried poisoning me!

Jushiro:Mai-chan, think about that. If I had poisoned you, you wouldn't be here.

Mai:I said try! I just to good to get poisoned.

Byakuya:You got food poisoning the other-

Mai:No!

Byakuya:Yes you di-

Mai:No I don't recall.

Byakuya:Will you let me finish a damn sentenc-

Mai:Nope!

Byakuya:*covers Mai mouth*

Mai:MMM!*muffled screams*

Grimmjow:*thinks:Note to self, Byakuya goes crazy when he doesn't finish talking*

Jushiro:Grimmjow?

Grimmjow:Wait up. I'm trying to write this down. Nnn- How do you spell 'note'?*writes very slowly*

Mai:You don't know how to spell note! Hahaha. Lemme see.

Grimmjow:*starts erasing*

Mai:_Nuote 2 self, donut get Kuchiki made. _

Grimmjow:Shut up Mai! This counts as being mean!

Mai:I'm sorry! If anybody else laughs, they are getting a kick to the face.*hugs Grimmjow*

Grimmjow:It's not my fault they don't force us to go to school. Damn Aizen and his lack of concern of our education.

Ulquiorra:Yes they did. You just never showed up. **DarkDanteJ:**

**Ahem...Anybody and i mean ANYBODY can come to enjoy my party and please tell me how you like it ^.^ plus i need people to help me empty my fridge so i can use my money on the food i need and a hair color fact i've heard on another anime show Toushiro-taicho and Jushiro-dono's hair color are actualy platinum blonde not white Bai Bai**

Kenpachi:It was probably a blonde that said that so they could have a couple of smart ones.

Mai:Thats pretty racist.

Kenpachi:A broad generalization.

Mai:What should I wear?

Grimmjow:We are not going to discuss this.

Mai:This is why I need a girl to host with.

Grimmjow:**RainingSun:**

**Congratulations Gaara and Katizo! :D I bet the babies are honto kawaii!!**

**Aww! Poor Jushiro-kun, you're feeling left out? Here I have a dare too. *Grants superninja flying powers* You'll need these. I dare you to go to the top of the CN Tower in Toronto, ON, play the Superman theme song and jump off, using your superninja flying powers to amaze people with your superness.**

**Now about that party, what should I wear? This? *holds up grey dress* No, too boring. **  
***Renji in background* THIS! *holds up some sort of garment* Me: Renji! That's not a dress! That's a 2-piece swimsuit! **  
**Renji: Still, you should wear it, I'd like to--*is bitchslapped* **  
**Me: RENJI! Damn it go away! Hmph! I'm taking Izuru instead, find a different date. **  
**Izuru: HA! *sticks out tongue at Renji***  
**Me: Well then. I'll find something don't worry. Till then, bye!**

**~*| Rain-chan |*~**

Jushiro:Yay!*flies to Toronto*

Mai:I can fly better!

Byakuya:You can't fly.

Mai:I'm pretty sure I can. Renji you pervert!

Renji:I just got slapped all the way over here! You wanna wear the swim suit.*holds up a very stringy revealing bikini*

Byakuya:*pimp slapped Renji back to RainingSun*

Mai:Good luck with your outfit Rain-chan!

Soi Fon:Hello.

Mai's mom:Why do I even lock the door? These freaks get in anyway.

Mai:I love you mommy! Oh hi Soi Fon. What brings you here?

Soi Fon:I heard there was a party.

Mai:Yup. Wanna come?

Soi Fon:What should I wear?

Grimmjow:No girly shit! *throws Mai and Soi Fon into Mai's room*Be grateful I saved your asses.

Jushiro:So now it's all guys.

Grimmjow:I think I'm gonna check on those two.

Byakuya:Stay here. You won't see anything.

Grimmjow:I couldn't Kuchiki! Don't be absurd.

Byakuya:Hunh.

J.J.:**HanakoAnimeaddict:**

**Ulquiorra, do you have a life?  
Grimmjow, are you obssessed with strawberries?  
Kenpachi, why are you a therapist when you have problems？  
I would love to hear In This Life sung by Jushiro and Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World by Byakuya.  
Can someone sing Rewrite by Asian Kung-Fu Generation? They are awesome!**

Ulquiorra:I have a life. It's just a sad one.

Grimmjow:No, just that one bastard.

Kenpachi:I don't why the fuck I'm a therapist or how the fuck they allowed me to me. All I know that I'm good at it.

Jushiro:I was nurtured I was sheltered  
I was curious and young  
I was searching for that something  
Trying to find it on the run  
Oh and just when I stopped looking  
I saw just how far I'd come  
In this life  
In this life

You give me love  
You give me light  
Show me everything that's been happening  
I've opened up my eyes  
I'm following  
Three steps fight an honest fight  
Two hearts that can start a fire  
One love is all I need  
In this life

I have faltered I have stumbled  
I have found my feet again  
I've been angry I've been shaken  
Found a new place to begin  
My persistence to make a difference  
Has led me safe into your hands  
In this life  
In this life

You give me love  
You give me light  
Show me everything that's been happening  
I've opened up my eyes  
I'm following  
Three steps fight an honest fight  
Two hearts that can start a fire  
One love is all I need  
In this life  
I was put here for a reason  
I was born into this world  
And I'm living and I'm believing  
That I was meant to be your goal  
In this life

You give me love  
You give me light  
Show me everything that's been happening  
I've opened up my eyes  
I'm following  
Three steps fight an honest fight  
Two hearts that can start a fire  
One love is all I need  
In this life

Byakuya:Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high  
There's a land that I heard of  
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue  
And the dreams that you dare to dream  
Really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star and  
wake up where the clouds are far  
Behind me

Where troubles melt like lemon drops,  
Away above the chimney tops  
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly  
Birds fly over the rainbow,  
Why then, oh, why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,  
Why, oh, why can't I?

Kenpachi:Because that stick up your butt is too heavy to get in the air! Haha.

Byakuya:Very funny. At least Mai isn't ashamed of me.

Kenpachi:Kishinda omoi wo Hakidashitai no ha  
Sonzai no shoumei ga Hoka ni nai kara  
Tsukandahazu no Boku no mirai ha  
"Songen" to "Jiyuu" de Mujun shiteru yo

Yuganda zanzou wo Keshisaritai no ha  
Jibun no genkai wo Soko ni miru kara  
Jiishikikajouna Boku no mado ni ha  
Kyonen no karendaa Hidzuke ga nai yo

Keshite RIRAITO shite  
Kudaranai chougensou  
Wasurarenu Sonzaikan wo

Kishikaisei RIRAITO shite  
Imi no nai souzou mo  
Kimi wo nasu Gendouryoku  
Zenshinzenrei wo kure yo

Mebaeteta kanjou Kitte  
Naite Shosen tada  
Bonyou Shitte Naite  
Kusatta kokoro wo  
Usugitanai uso wo

Keshite RIRAITO shite  
Kudaranai chougensou  
Wasurarenu Sonzaikan wo

Kishikaisei RIRAITO shite  
Imi no nai souzou mo  
Kimi wo nasu Gendouryoku  
Zenshinzenrei wo kure yo

Mai:Hm? Watcha singin'?

Kenpachi:Rewrite in Japanese in romanji.

Mai:Okay? What you guys think of Soi Fon?

Soi Fon:*wearing a yellow and black spaghetti strap shirt, black mini skirt, and black boots*

Grimmjow:Thats pretty hot.

Soi Fon:*blushes*

Byakuya:And you Mai?

Mai:I still don't have anything!

Kenpachi:You have a shit load of clothes in your closet.

Mai:Nothing suitable though.

Jushiro:*sighs*How about this?*holds up shirt*

Mai:Nope.

Jushiro:Why not!?

Mai:Because it's so bright white and if I get it dirty before my cousin's baptism she'll kill me.

Mai's mom:That's right.*brandishes knife*

Mai:I love you mom!*whispers*I'm so scared Shiro-kun.

Jushiro:I am too.

Ulquiorra:This one?

Mai:No, thats boring.

Byakuya:This one?

Mai:That's lingerie!*slaps him*

Soi Fon:Lets go find something for you.

Jushiro:Lets end the chapter now. Next time Shinji Hirako, Hiyori Sarugaki, Kensei Muguruma, and Mashiro Kuna. We'll be in Dante's mansion.

Mai:I have to hurry!


	21. Time to Party

Mai:Party time!

Jushiro:Have you chosen an outfit?

Mai:Ahhaha. No.

Byakuya:Soi Fon couldn't help?

Soi Fon:She is too picky!

Jushiro:You should have just grabbed something out the closet like all the rest of us.

Grimmjow:Speak for yourself. I picked everything out carefully. This is my fresh shirt. I'm sure pretty boy took hours too.

Byakuya:Is it a crime to look your best?

Shinji:I hear ya! **LilyGirl101:**

**Ooh, finally the party! Oh, Mai-chan, I have a dress you can borrow. It looks like mine, only it's purple instead of red! It would look killer on you! And thanks for liking my dress! I like the straps particularly...**

****

And, yay! Soi Fon is coming! *hugs her* Soi Fon, I just rewatched an episode of you yesterday...you are the epitome of awesome chickie! You and Youruchi could take over the world together!

KIBA IS JUST SO AWESOME! AND AKUMARU TOO! Oh, I finally get to dance with Kiba-chan! Kiba-chan...Akumaru-chan...

Oh, Jow-chan, I'm sure I'm not the ONLY one who loves you! But if that's so, then I'll love enough for all the people in the world! *hugs him lots and lots* You know, I don't really think of Jow-chan as a brother...I have too many of those as it is! *kisses him* Mai! That was rude! Some people can't spell! Jow-chan, if you need help, I'll help you! *hugs him AGAIN* I'm also a great tutor, if you need help with anything else! X-)

And I'm glad I get to dance with Ul-chan! He's soo cool! *hugs him again and again* So cool...

Wow. When it was all guys in the room, I was in heaven...

X-D Wow, Zaki-chan! A...stick...in Bya-nii-chan's...*rolling on the floor laughing*...too heavy...oh, wow...Oh, Zaki-chan? Can I send my brother to your anger management classes? He's got MAJOR issues! And, he completely worships you, so I really think you could help him out!

Signed with love and lemons,  
Lily-chan

**P.S.- *reads over the chapter...stops...reads again*...did Jushiro just say he wants to be a father?**

Mai:Finally! Thanks Lily-chan. It's prettiful!

Grimmjow:Prettiful? And you were making fun of my spelling.

Ulquiorra:Mai you are having a quick spelling test. First word, kitten. #2. sun #3. onomatopoeia

Mai:Oh no! Those are hard words.

Ulquiorra:*snatches paper*_ke10, son, onoma-tapatio_. Tapatio is a hot sauce Mai! You failed. Both of you are going to be tutored by me.

Grimmjow&Mai:NO!

Soi Fon:We couldn't take over the world.

Mai:They'd take over all the worlds and universe.

Ulquiorra:Can't wait to dance with you too.

Byakuya:*blushing with embarrassment and anger*

Kenpachi:Haha. I'm still laughin'. It'll be Mai, Grimmjow, Jushiro, J.J., Eddy comes sometimes, Soi Fon, and your brother. I warn you, it gets really crazy. Mai and her brothers get down, Grimmjow throws food at Soi Fon, and you don't want to know what Soi Fon does back. Jushiro is the only nice calm one.

Mai:You make it sound like J.J. and Eddy and me stab each other.

Kenpachi:You did!

Mai:I didn't know Eddy was gonna pull out his butterfly! I gotta defend myself.

Kenpachi:Will you ever get better?

Grimmjow:Probably not.

Kenpachi:Oh yeah. I made cookies!*gives cookies to everone and Lily-chan*

Jushiro:I do want to be a father, but not like I would just get a random girl. I would wait and fall in love, but it seems nobody's interested in me.

Mai:Hurry up Jushiro. You don't have that long to wait.

Mashiro:Cookies! **katizo terusei:**

**Kaminari: Mi-mi *reaches for Mai*  
Charisei: Ulqui? *shy smile*  
Katizo: *laughs* now I'm not alone!  
Karahime: ULQUIORRA'S GONNA BE A DADDY!!  
Temari: all this talk about babies is making me want one  
Katizo: didn't you have a picture to show Mai?  
Temari: yep. Here *holds up Gaara's baby picture*  
Katizo: KAWAII!**

Mai:Aw!*holds Kaminari*

Kenpachi:*hands out cookies to Charisei, Karahime, and Katizo*

Shinji:What a cute kid!

Mashiro:Baby! Baby! Kensei, look at the little baby!

Kensei:I have eyes Mashiro.

Hiyori:Yeah.

Ulquiorra:Huh? Excuse me please.*passes out*

Byakuya:Ulquiorra, you sly dog. I haven't gotten that far with Mai.

Mai:Excuse you. Keep talking like that and you'll be across the country without a chance.

Gaara:Temari! Thats embarrassing!

Mai:Haha. Thats really cute. Hahaha

Mai's mom:It seems like a chance to scar you now.

Mai:Mom! No!

Mai's Mom:*shows an album of Mai's, Eddy's, and J.J.'s pictures*

Grimmjow:Is that Mai's little baby butt? Hahahahaha!*falls to the floor in tears*

Eddy:No, it's mine.

Grimmjow:Awkward. My bad.

Kensei:Morons. **RainingSun:**

**Yay! Soi Fon's coming!! Great outfit choice btw Mai-chan! ;] I hope you find something for yourself soon!  
*Sigh* Thank you, Byaku-chan, for sending Pineapple-chan back here. *note great sarcasm* Okaay, you can stay here, but find yourself a different date to go to the party.  
Renji: But--  
Me: *death glare*  
Renji: N-never mind...  
Me: Well! Now, I'm very excited for this party~ :D Izu-chan! Come help me find a dress! I'm sure you'll do a better job than Renji *another death glare*  
Izuru: A-Are you sure? Okay... What about this? *holds up beautiful yellow halter dress with pretty silver shoes*  
Me: *le gasp!* I Love it! Arigatou Izu-chan! *sticks out tongue at Renji* Now, we need to find you a suit... I think I might have one... aha! Here you go!  
Izuru: *puts on suit* Hey it fits!  
Me: *takes arm* TAH-DAAH! We are ready! Let's go Izu-chan! Renji dear please make sure the dog gets fed, and don't open the door for anyone. *takes Izuru and leaves Renji stupefied*  
Here we come! *arrives at party* Voila! *hands bag of cookies that Izuru made as a present* Enjoy! Hello everyone!**

Byakuya:I have to work with him every single day so I need a break.

Mai:Pretty dress! I guess we should take the Q&A to the mansion now.*uses Kuraiki to teleport everyone there*

Eddy:The fuck!? Since when could you do this?

Mai:Awhile now. Ooo cookies!

Kenpachi:But mine are the size of everyone's head!

Grimmjow:We never got to say what we are wearing.

Mai:The authoress is too lazy.

Grimmjow:Get off your lazy ass, xxbleedinglovexx.

xxbleedinglovexx:Fine.

Grimmjow:*blue and black button down plaid shirt, jeans, and converses*

Mai:The shirt makes your eyes even bluer.

Jushiro:*wearing a dark grey suit with black shirt and grey tie *

Byakuya:*black long sleeve button shirt with red tie and black pants*

Mai:You are so handsome!*kisses him uncontrollably*

Shinji:*wearing what he usually wears*

Ulquiorra:*black suit with white shirt untucked*

Mai:Classy.

Hiyori:*yellow sun dress, white high heels with her hair down*

Mashiro:*dark green cross front halter dress*

Kensei:*white shirt with black jeans*

J.J.:*grey shirt, black skinny jeans, retro black shades, black hat, and black Vans*

Mai:Damn! J.J. you stylin'.

Eddy:*greaser style with black jacket, not leather*

Kenpachi:*normal clothes*Why the fuck would I go through the trouble?

xxbleedinglovexx:Happy Jeagerjaquez?

Grimmjow:Extremely. **DarkDanteJ:**

**yay welcome to my Mansion which is indestructible and... i dare ulquiorra and grimmjow to sing Sexy back by Justin Timberlake xD  
and i dare Mai and Soi-fon to sing "I kissed a girl by Katie perry(i think) and i dare Jushiro,Byakuya,Izuru and Renji to sing "Indestructible" by Disturbed and plz enjoy the party ^.^**

Mai:Lets get the party started.

Ulquiorra:I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other boys don't know how to act  
I think you're special, what's behind your back?  
So turn around and I'll pick up the slack.

Take 'em to the bridge

Grimmjow:Dirty babe  
You see the shackles  
Baby I'm your slave  
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave  
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Take 'em to the chorus

Ulquiorra:Come here girl  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're twerking with  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it

Get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
[Repeat 6 times]

Get your sexy on

Grimmjow  
I'm bringing sexy back  
Them other fuckers don't know how to act  
Come let me make up for the things you lack  
'Cause you're burning up I gotta get it fast

Take 'em to the bridge

Ulquiorra:Dirty babe  
You see the shackles  
Baby I'm your slave  
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave  
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Grimmjow:Come here girl  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're twerking with  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it

Get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
[Repeat 6 times]

I'm bringing sexy back  
You mother fuckers watch how I attack  
If that's your girl you better watch your back  
Cause she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact

Take 'em to the chorus

Ulquiorra:Come here girl  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Come to the back  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
VIP  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Drinks on me  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Let me see what you're twerking with  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Look at those hips  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
You make me smile  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
Go ahead child  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
And get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it

Get your sexy on  
Go ahead, be gone with it  
[Repeat 6 times]

Mai:You guys are sure doing a good job at it! This was my sixth grade teacher's favorite song. She was a chill teacher.

Soi Fon:I've sang this before.

Mai:Not with me!*plays song* This was never the way I planned

Not my intention  
I got so brave, drink in hand  
Lost my discretion  
It's not what, I'm used to  
Just wanna try you on  
I'm curious for you  
Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chapstick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

Soi Fon:No, I don't even know your name  
It doesn't matter,  
You're my experimental game  
Just human nature,  
It's not what,  
Good girls do  
Not how they should behave  
My head gets so confused  
Hard to obey

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it,

Soi Fon &Mai:Us girls we are so magical  
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable  
Hard to resist so touchable  
Too good to deny it  
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it  
It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

Byakuya:Another mission,  
The powers have called me away.  
Another time,  
To carry the colors again.  
My motivation,  
An oath I've sworn to defend.  
To win the honor,  
Of coming back home again.  
No explanation,  
Will matter after we begin.  
Another dark destroyer that's buried within,  
My true vocation.  
And now my unfortunate friend,  
You will discover,  
A war you're unable to win.

Izuru:I'll have you know,  
That I've become...

Indestructible.  
Determination that is incorruptible.  
From the other side.  
A terror to behold.  
Annihilation will be unavoidable.  
Every broken enemy will know,  
That their opponent had to be invincible.  
Take a last look around while you're alive,  
I'm an indestructible master of war.

Renji:Another reason.  
Another cause for me to fight.  
Another fuse uncovered,  
Now, for me to light.  
My dedication,  
To all that I've sworn to protect.  
I carry out my orders,  
Without a regret.  
A declaration,  
Embedded deep under my skin.  
A permanent reminder,  
Of how it began.  
No hesitation,  
When I am commanded to strike.  
You need to know,  
That you're living the fight of your life.

Jushiro:You will be shown,  
How I've become...

Indestructible.  
Determination that is incorruptible.  
From the other side.  
A terror to behold.  
Annihilation will be unavoidable.  
Every broken enemy will know,  
That their opponent had to be invincible.  
Take a last look around while you're alive,  
I'm an indestructible master of war.

Jushiro, Byakuya, Renji&Izuru:I'm...

Indestructible.  
Determination that is incorruptible.  
From the other side.  
A terror to behold.  
Annihilation will be unavoidable.  
Every broken enemy will know,  
That their opponent had to be invincible.  
Take a last look around while you're alive,  
I am indestructible. (Indestructible.)

Indestructible  
Determination that is incorruptible.  
From the other side.  
A terror to behold.  
Annihilation will be unavoidable.  
Every broken enemy will know,  
That their opponent had to be invincible.  
Take a last look around while you're alive,  
I'm an indestructible master of war.

Mai:Awesome start to the party! **Animefan0410:**

**I can only remember who Shinji is..I think he's the guy with 69 tattood on his face. I got a question for him..If I have the right person (I ned to look up their pictures after this review lol). I know you tattooed 69 on your face as a way to show your admiration..or obssession for that former captain with blue hair who is now a vizard. But seriously, in the end, did you even think about the regret? You have 69 tattooed on you! Most people don't think number when they hear that number -_-**

****

Also..*snickers a bit at grimmjow* You should have a dictionary on you lol..I do have a dare for Soi-Fon annd Grimmjow. I dare you two to go together to the party as a date *smiles happily* YOUR WELCOME GRIMMJOW.

**Oh and don't sweat forgetting that review.**

Mai:Shinji is the vizard with blonde hair and a smile like Nnoitra's or Spoony's as we like to call him. Shuuhei is the one with the tattoo.

Kensei:I'm the one he copied.

Grimmjow:A dictionary's too heavy. I was gonna ask Soi Fon out!

Mai:You're a little late there, pal.

Soi Fon:*blushes*

Mai:She's had her eye on you.

Grimmjow:*blushes*

Soi Fon:**Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**YAY! Shinji is coming! i find him funny, and cool.**  
**I only have one question: Mai, Did you make Byakuya do the dare i gave him in chapter 19? **  
**and Wow, all this talk about children has my head spinning O_o**

Mai:I sure did.

Byakuya:I read an Renji x myself one and it portrayed me as a pedophile, saying that I was touching his body and enjoying it and licking his tattoos.*shivers*Mai-chan, I think I'm going to be sick.

Mai:*kisses him*

Byakuya:All better. I wanna try baby making now.

Mai:Haha you are very funny.*sarcastic*

Soi Fon:So Grimmjow...

Grimmjow:So Soi Fon.

Mai:So go on and dance you two little lovebirds.

Byakuya:Speaking of dance, how about us?

Mai:Oh yes!

Grimmjow:*passes by Ulquiorra smirking*Who ya gonna dance with Lily-chan, the girl that wants you bad, or Charisei, the girl you kn-

Soi Fon:*steps on his foot*You really don't want to finish that.

Grimmjow:No ma'am.

Ulquiorra:Lily-chan is dancing with Kiba, so I guess its alright to be Charisei. I could take turns.

Shinji:Who am I going to dance with!? Mashiro and Kensei went off together!

Hiyori:How about me dumbass.

Shinji:You should dance with the kid over there.*nods toward J.J.*

Hiyori:You stupid dickhead!*hits him with high heel*

J.J.:I've got two partners. Karahime*waves at her* and Yachiru, since Kenpachi will kill me if I don't.

Shinji:Fine Hiyori. I'll take you to dance.

Hiyori:I changed my mind. I don't wanna dance.

Shinji:Be that way. I'll just find a pretty girl!*grabs Isane*

Isane:I knew it was a bad idea to bring me here Captain Unohana!

Retsu:*ignores Isane to dance with Kenpachi*

Hiyori:I don't give a damn.

Cat in the Hat:Would you like to dance little lady?

Hiyori:WHAT THE FUCK!?

Cat in the Hat:Come on! Dance with me!*grabs Hiyori does the funky chicken*

Grimmjow:*cracks Cat in the face*

J.J.:*socks in him the gut*

Kenpachi:*punches him*Why you grabbing kids and makin' dance that shit? Disgusting.

Cat in the Hat:Because Renji won't be my date. Wehaha.

Renji:Mai! Rain-chan! Save me from the molesting cat!

Mai:*stomps on him*We don't play that shit here.

Cat in the Hat:They-they signed the contract! Dirty hoe!*a garden hoe pops out standing*Ehehehehe.

Hiyori:When the hell did this all happen dickhead!?

Cat in the Hat:After I sang a musical number. Remember?*starts singing* Fun fun fun

J.J.:*pimp slaps him*

Mai:We definitely don't like shitty songs like that.*stomps on him more*Byakun! He won't die!

Cat in the Hat:Thats it! I ain't takin no bull crap no more!*kicks Byakuya*

Byakuya:Oh God.

Kenpachi:Kuchiki, you weakling. You let him get ya in the balls.*is slammed on the floor*

Grimmjow:Haha! You weird looking wannabe pirate! No no no! Stay aw-nngh.*is stab by something Cat pulled out of his hat*

Eddy:Da fuck? Every time he hits some one it makes a stupid sound.*is hit on the head with a boulder*_bonk!_

J.J.:*runs behind Mai*I'm scared. *disappears*Get away you striped freak! Get away!

Mai:Come at me bitch. Come at me!

Cat in the Hat:I don't want to hurt you. I want to give a gift. It's in my hat.*takes off his hat*

Mai:Oh cool.*peers in hat and is punched by a fist that comes out of the hat*No. You. Didn't.

Byakuya:Mai.

Mai:My face........

Cat in the Hat:Your face was already ruined when you were born.*snaps and bobs his head*Mhm.

Mai:............

Cat in the Hat:Kid?

Mai:RAAAAA!*emits large amount of reitsu*

Cat in the Hat:I'm s-s-sorry. Here's a real gift.

Mai:*goes up in to the air and charges cero*Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and BURN IN HELL!*shoots Cat*

Cat in the Hat:AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT BURNS!!!!

Mai:Sorry about the mansion ,Dante-kun.*gives innocent look*

Byakuya:It was indestructible, but not Mai-proofed. And was that a cero?

Mai:There are some things you people just don't know about me and its going to stay that way darling.

All:................

Kenpachi:Now do you see why she's in anger management classes?

Mai:Enjoy the party everyone! Next time Shuuhei Hisagi and Sajin Komamura.


	22. Applying for the Job

Jushiro:Hi everyone.

Sajin:Hello.

Shuhei:Hey.

Mai:Why so quiet?

Shuhei:Because Renji and Izuru were guests here and never returned.

Renji:Hey Shuhei.

Shuhei:Where ya been?

Renji:Was the Soul Society looking for us?

Shuhei:No. I was just wondering since you owe me a dollar. **LilyGirl101:**

**Was the Cat in the Hat the gift? That's frightening...um...I'm a little bit scared now...I'm scared of the creepy pedo cat...**

****

Oh, Shiro-chan, plenty of girls are interested in you! Do you know how many FANCLUBS there are for you? Then again, those may be considered stalkers, not girlfriends...hm...*ponders* Oh well! *hugs him and kisses him* I love you! I love you lots and lots! I'm just still having trouble TRUSTING you...

Can I hold Gaara's kids now? Every time I try to, I get trampled, or pushed aside! I haven't even seen them yet! *cries* They sound like such cute babies, too!

I'll help Jow-chan with his spelling...I have gotten a hundred percent on every spelling test I've ever taken, and I've gone to the spelling bee three times (no seriously, I have)! I'm sure I could help Mai too!

Thanks, Zaki-chan, for taking my brother in. He's getting pretty bad...*takes cookies* Why thank you! I love cookies! I bake a lot, almost every week, and my cookies are always gone in just two days! X-D

Hey, did you guys know that I'm STILL seeing Zaki-chan every day? Apparently, my irrational fear of the r ape closet won't go away...he's trying to help me, but...*shudders* It's not going so well...

Oh, I'm sorry, Ul-chan! I didn't forget you, you know! Kiba started talking about...oh, well, never mind. It's not important. Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't dance with you right away! *hugs him and dances with him*

Will someone please come hang out with me? Shiro-chan's not talking to me anymore, and Mai-chan spends all her time with Bya-nii-chan. Kiba-chan had to go back to his own show almost right away, and now I'm lonely...*pouts*

...hey, Ul-chan...did you really do that to Charisei? Did you really...*memories of the r ape closet coming back to haunt her*Ul-chan...I'm scared...*backs away slowly, pulls knife out of nowhere* Oh, god, it's happening again...*runs away*

If anyone wants me, I'll be in my emo corner! *retreats to emo corner with knife* I haven't been here in such a long time...

**Signed with love and an irrational and sudden fear of Ul-chan,  
A Frightened and Lonely Lily-chan**

Mai:No the Cat in the Hat wasn't a gift. He just heard Renji needed a date and we know the rest....... I wonder what the gift actually is.

Jushiro:Thank you Lily-chan. I guess. I love you too.

Gaara:Okay.*hands you the babies slowly*Be careful now.*hovering over LilyGirl being an overprotective parent*

Mai:Cute huh? I do need help with that.

Grimmjow:I need more help!

Mai:Yeah you do. If you love Kenny's cookies, you'd love his brownies.

Kenpachi:But you keep licking the bowl!

Mai:It tastes so good! Oh yeah, I knew because Kenpachi's making me his office assistant. I know when everyone sees him.

Byakuya:Basically you're his secretary.

Mai:I guess?

Byakuya:I want you to quit now.

Mai:Why?

Byakuya:We'll talk about this later.

Kenpachi:*laughing his ass off*

Ulquiorra:*dances with LilyGirl*

Komamura:I think I would like to hang out with you.

Mai:DOGGY!*pets him roughly*

Ulquiorra:I did not rape Charisei. When a girl and a boy like each other-

Mai:Shit happens!

Ulquiorra:Shouldn't I explain it properly?

Kenpachi:Nope. Shit happens.

Mai:Why doesn't shit happen between us Byakuya?

Byakuya:I am a gentleman.

Shuhei:Captain Kuchiki, chivalry's dead.

Mai:Don't go into the emo corner Lily-chan. It was consensual sex!

Byakuya:Maybe it wasn't. Only Charisei can give us the truth.

Ulquiorra:I did not rape her, trash.

Komamura:You _are_ an espada. **katizo terusei:**

**Karahime: Kat! Char! hurry!  
Charisei: shut it Hime! * shows up in blue dress*  
Karahime: aww! sis you look pretty!  
Charisei: shut it!  
Katizo: *shows up in black dress* okay my mom has the babies. i'm safe.  
Charisei: *bursts out laughing* Kat you look like your going to a funeral.  
Katizo: Shut Up! *gasps* HISAGI-KUN!*hugs* i love you Hisagi-kun!!  
Charisei: *evil smile* i have an idea..  
Karahime: what?  
Charisei: how about Kat and Lilly-san have a dance off?  
Karahime: Kat would kill you!  
Charisei: no Kat loves me too much  
Katizo's mom: *reads chapter* AWW! if your showing baby pictures here are Katizo's *hands photo album to Mai***

Gaara:I've never seen a more beautiful woman Kat.

Retsu:Isn't that adorable?*smacks Kenpachi playfully*Why don't you ever say something like that?

Kenpachi:Because.....

Mai:Byakun says stuff like that all the time. I guess I don't appreciate you enough.

Byakuya:Mhm.

Mai:Get ready, Byakuya. I'm going to appreciate you like you never have before.

Shuuhei:Hi. I love you too I suppose.

J.J.:Dance off. Dance off. Dance off.

Mai:Kawaii! Cute babies all around!

Jushiro:*crying*I'll never have one!

Komamura:There's always surrogate parents Jushiro.

Jushiro:No. I don't want that.

Mai:That's what you get for being picky.*points at him with lip gloss*

Jushiro:You got lip gloss all over me Mai!

Mai:Oopsie! **RainingSun:**

**Well well well, that was a great party! ...Until the Cat in the Hat showed up and Mai kinda destroyed the mansion.. haha it's okay Mai-chan! :3 It happens all the time.**

****

Oh and Renji. If you ever need to be saved from a molesting cat in the future (You know they're pretty common so you never know..) Don't call for me to save you, you pervert. Hmph. *cold shoulder*

For these guests...  
Komamura-taichou! Hi! Why are you so self-conscious about your appearance? I think you're really cute!~ *starts petting him* *realizes what she's doing* Oh. awkward...gomen... Umm here you go... *hands bone-shaped chew toy* *looks around innocently*  
Hisagi! Hi! *waves* Umm, how did you get those three scars across your face? And wouldn't they heal eventually?

**Well, arigatou for the party, and umm until next time!  
~*| Rain-chan |*~**

Mai:Fucking Cat. If I see his little rat face again*slams lip gloss*

Shuhei:Mai! It all over me now! It smells like ice cream.

Byakuya:Mai-chan, you burnt him to a crisp with that cero.

Mai:Shit happens Byakuya. Shit happens. They are common in the authoress's head.

Renji:I was complimenting you! You have a nice body.

Mai:Renji, did you ever think it's smart to say that when there is a girl with anger issues and a cero in her hand?

Renji:*runs*

Komamura:It isn't very common to see talking animals in the Soul Society or anyplace for that matter.

Mai:There's the authoress's twisted mind.

Komamura:I don't see myself going there anytime soon.

Shuhei:Hello. I got this scars in a hollow attack. They are scars so they can't heal.

Mai:There's plastic surgery.

Shuhei:I don't need that shit. Chicks dig a guy with scars.

Kenpachi:I know right? **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**Bleack, i think I'M gonna be sick... I realy didn't need those images in my head... GREAT! NOW I THINK I NEED TO GO SEE KENPACHI!**  
**I will never look at books the same way again!!**  
**OMG!! *Fangirl squel* Hisagi-kun is gonna be here! Personally, your my favorite character out of everyone! *Pops up next to Hisagi* *Points finger in face* YOUR COMING WITH ME AND NO OBJECTIONS ABOUT IT! *drags him away by shirt***  
**:))**

Kenpachi:I'm making a killing. Killing. Haven't done that in awhile. Mai, move my three o'clock with the head captain.

Mai:Kk.

Shuhei:I can go after the Q&A.

Jushiro:**DarkDanteJ:**

**NU my newly imported floor...DAM U CAT IN THE HAT DAM U!plus who the hell let him in anyway? and don't worry the floors aren't that indestructible but the walls and roof and everying else that isn't the floor is indestructible oh and mai you owe my $500,0 and seeming as how i doubt you're going to pay without attempting to kill me...Byakuya can pay it ^.^ and now my OC DanteJ is Guarding this damned place so if any weird sht happens he can use his Zanpaktou and Decaptitate it, whatever "It" may be so Reap the soul, Kuragia Akuma! Weird sht Die!**

Mai:Byaku-boo?

Byakuya:I got it.*takes out wallet and pays in cash*

Mai:You carry that much around?

Byakuya:No. More.

Mai:I look like a gold digger now! I'm going to pay you back.

Byakuya:Don't worry about it.

Mai:No. I have to pay you back.

Byakuya:I know one way.

Mai:Errr! I ain't no ho!

Jushiro:It's not whoring around if it's just one guy.

Mai:It kinda is.

Grimmjow:How did the conversation lead to this? **Animefan0410:**

**XD Should have just given Cat some milk lol (I love that movie). The question I asked before..Give it to Shuuhei please, since it's the right person..Also, hurray it's Komamaru..I can't believe I'm asking you this..but umm...Would you like a doggy treat? After these questions are answered, I'll be playing pranks on people with Yachiru..*can't dance for crap***

Mai:If you feed them, they never leave. That's why Grimmjow and Ulquiorra stick around.

Ulquiorra:That was good food.

Shuhei:I wasn't obsessed. I don't regret the tattoo. There's plenty of time for that later. Anyway if girls wanna 69, they know who to come to.

Komamura:I actually would like a treat as long as you give one to my new friend.*points to Mai's puppy*

Mai:There's my wittle doggy! I love you! I'm talking to my dog, not you captain.

Kenpachi:As long as none of those pranks involve me, knock yourself out. Yachiru will probably do that for you though.

Byakuya:**lunarprincess21:**

**wow that party sounded off the chain except the part with the cat in the hat, now i know not to read the bastard's books again -_-''.  
Yay Shuhei kun's coming (hugs him)and don't worry renji i got a lot of love espicially for you since mai took byakuya away from me (hugs renji tightly)  
anyways I'm new at this so i wanna ask Shiro kun why aren't you dating Retsu chan? i mean you 2 look absolutely cute together...and i would like to see shuhei, renji, grimmjow, ulwuiorra and byakuya to dance to Greed's Accident by Minori Chihara while wearing black and i know renji would look good in black and seeing byakuya in black is espicially for you Mai chan  
Love this Q&A and always will love you Mai chan (hugs)^_^.**

Mai:We are planning to get Thing one and Thing two.

Renji:*sticks out tongue to Mai and Byakuya*

Byakuya:Last resort Renji. She wanted me.

Mai:NO! Mine! She can have Renji!

Renji:I don't care if I'm a last resort!

Jushiro:No no. Don't ask that with both of them around!*looks nervously at Kenpachi and Retsu*

Kenpachi:Yeah Jushiro.*punches him playfully*Tell me.*raises fist*

Mai:Kenpachi! Calm down. Its only a question.

Kenpachi:I wasn't going to hit too hard.

Mai:Only enough to knock him out?

Kenpachi:Yeah.... lets go with that.

Jushiro:We've known each other for too long. I think it would be weird.

Kenpachi:*death glares*

All:*wear black clothes and dance*

Mai:Good jobs guys! Thank you very much Luna-chan. Love ya lots.

Kenpachi:Mai fight me!*takes out sword and tries to stab*

Mai:I'm wearing a tight dress and high heels! It's not a fair fight!

Kenpachi:Come here!

Byakuya:*blocks sword*

Mai:Bad Kenny.*teleports him to a little jail cell cage*You stay your cage. That reminds me of Nnoitra and his cage except his was bigger.

Kenpachi:Hmph.*whispers*Byakuya, secretary.

Jushiro:Ignore his taunts.

Byakuya:Be quiet.*kicks cage*

Kenpachi:Secret-ary.

Byakuya:Shut up.

Kenpachi:There's a reason the word secret is in there.

Byakuya:SHUT THE FUCK UP!*uses senbonzakura*

Kenpachi:I'm free!*gets senbonzakura-ed*Todays not my day.

Byakuya:Kasaimai, we are talking about you career choice right now!

Mai:You can't make me.

Byakuya:I can get you fired.

Mai:Too late because I quit!

Byakuya:Fine.

Mai:You cheater!

Byakuya:Kenpachi, she resigns.

Kenpachi:Time to find a new office assistant. Any reviewers wishing to apply for the job can. I have three requirements, must be able to be polite and nurturing, must be able to spell correctly, and must be able to kick ass.

Grimmjow:How the fuck did you get did you get the job Mai?

Mai:I am so polite!*puts on fake smile*Hello. How are you doing? Nurturing:Are you alright sweetie? Would you like a cookie?

Ulquiorra:You're spelling is atrocious though.

Mai:Dictionary.

Shuhei:I guess I should go with Sougyo.

Komamura:I'm leaving with Lily.

Mai:Next time Orihime, Uryu, and Ichigo are our guests.

Byakuya:Stupid Ichigo Kurosaki with my sister.

Mai:Actually they've gone their separate ways now.

Byakuya:So there really is a God! Yes!


	23. Kenpachi's New Employees! Good Luck

Mai:Welcome.

Jushiro:I wonder why.

Mai:Why what?

Jushiro:Nothing.*sighs***katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: URYU! your supposed to be hiding!! the police are after you!  
Karahime: *cries* why'd you kill barney Uryu?  
Charisei: *re-reading entire Q&A* Mai's Mexican?  
Katizo: no...ya just figured that out?  
Karahime: we'll give you 2 hints to what we are. 1: tropical climate 2: hula dancing  
Charisei: *evil smile* i dare Gaara to sing 'hot mama' by Trace Adkins to Kat.  
Katizo: WHAT!**

Uryu:I hate to admit it, but my _father_ helped me. He bribed to the police.

Ulquiorra:That was the crime?!

Mai:I am half Mexican and Salvadorian. Are you Hawaiian?

Gaara:*blushes*You're doin' all you can to get in them old jeans.  
You want that body back, you had at seventeen.  
Baby, don't get down; don't worry 'bout a thing.  
'Cause the way you fill 'em out, hey, that's all right with me.  
I don't want the girl you used to be.  
An' if you ain't noticed, the kids are fast asleep,

An' you're one hot mama;  
You turn me on, let's turn it up,  
An' turn this room into a sauna.  
One hot mama,  
Oh, whaddya say, baby?  
You wanna?

Well, I know sometimes you think that all you really are,  
Is the woman with the kids an' the groceries in the car.  
An' you worry about your hips an' you worry about your age.  
Meanwhile I'm tryin' to catch the breath you take away.  
Oh, an' believe me, you still do.  
Baby, all I see, when I look at you,

Is one hot mama;  
You turn me on, let's turn it up,  
An' turn this room into a sauna.  
One hot mama,  
Oh, whaddya say, baby?  
You wanna?

I can't imagine me lovin' someone else.  
I'm a lucky man,  
I think Daddy's got himself,

One hot mama;  
You turn me on, let's turn it up,  
An' turn this room into a sauna.  
One hot mama,  
Oh, whaddya say, babe?  
Oh, now whaddya say, babe?  
You wanna?

You're one hot mama,  
Let's turn this room into a sauna, yeah.  
Whaddya say, babe?  
Whaddya say, babe?

Mai:*giggles***LilyGirl101:**

***reads over the last couple of chapters* Hey, are me and Shiro-chan officially "broken up"? Shiro-chan and I used to be close, but he mentioned that "no one is interested in him", so I guess that means we're not together anymore...and he isn't paying any attention to me anymore... and every time someone mentions girlfriends or relationships of any kind, he states that he is single...Why, Shiro-chan?! IF YOU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME, TELL ME STRAIGHT UP! *starts crying* I feel so used! And so broken...I finally forgave you too! And this is how you treat me!! *runs away* DO I JUST NOT EXIST ANYMORE?!?!?!?!?**

****

*ignoring Ulquiorra* Until I find out what REALLY happened with Char-chan, I'm not talking to you.

Oh, Koma-chan! *hugs him* Wow!! You're so cool! *hugs him, climbs on his shoulder* And so tall too! So soft...*starts petting him* Such a nice person...

I'll be Zaki-chan's new assistant! I'm extremely polite, I help in raising my brothers, so I have to be nurturing, you already know I can spell, and you just wait until someone makes me mad. You'll see then that I can kick ass!

I actually have dares today! And quite a lot of them! I'll remind you all why Mai-chan said she liked me in the second chapter! (anyone who doesn't remember my first dare to Shiro-chan, read back over it!)

To Uryu-chan, I want you to help me with something...my brother has this giant brown teddy bear I got him for his first birthday, and he ripped it while playing yesterday...can you fix it? I dare you to do it without adding any extra decoration, or frills, or outfits or anything!

To Carrottop-san, I dare you to dye your hair black and neon green stripes and catwalk around the Soul Society like a supermodel, and knock on everyone's door like a door-to-door salesman, promoting cat treats!

To Jow-chan, I dare you to jump out during a captain's meeting, scream "tsipar a s'urihsuJ", then run away and see if they can figure it out! If they don't, then just scream it out at random times throughout the day until someone finally gets it! (note: I'll tell you what it means next time)

To Bya-nii-chan, I want you to use your zanpakto on the first person who walks by you, but only use it to cut open their clothes, and then take pictures (this dare is void if the person walking by you is Mai). I also dare you to hang those nude pictures up in your office, where everyone can see them!

To Zaki-chan, I dare you to dress in a kitty maid's outfit for TWO days, and sing the "Mean Kitty" song every time someone laughs at you.

To Mai-chan, I dare you to sit in a roomful of snakes, bugs, rabid kittens and starving, half-crazed weasels in a swimsuit, with only a stick of beef jerky to defend yourself.

And, to EVERYONE...I want you all to sing "Somebody to Love" by Queen in front of THE ENTIRE SEIRETEI, and all of you (yes, ALL of you) will be wearing swimsuits meant for the OPPOSITE GENDER. That means Mai, you will be wearing shorts, and Shiro-chan, you'll be in a bikini. *gets out her video camera* Hop to it, ya'll!

To Shiro-chan, as revenge for breaking up with me without actually telling me and without any reason, I have thoughtfully contructed this chair made of nails, all pointing UP. You have to sit in it for the next two chapters. Also, I dare you to eat WHATEVER Hime-chan prepares for you, no complaints! You're not allowed to go the doctor at ALL, you got it? If you get food poisoning, so what! Suck it up! If you have an attack, well then tough luck buttercup! *kicks him in the nuts HARD, and walks away..comes back after second thoughts and kicks him in the stomach, pulls his hair, pokes him with a hot brand, and kicks him in the nuts one more time* Hell is a woman scorned, you jerk, so suffer! *stomps off, crying her heart out*

Signed with love and lonliness  
Why-Did-Shiro-Chan-Abandon-Me  
Lily-chan (still crying her heart out)

**P.S.- My brother wants you to bring someone from Star Wars onto the show. (this would be the one who's visiting Zaki-chan, not the one with the teddy bear). He wants to know who would win: Bya-nii-chan's zanpakuto or a lightsaber.**

Jushiro:Lily-chan... I thought you didn't want me anymore. You hadn't spoken to me in over five or more chapters and I thought its because you found another. I'm confused. You didn't even want to dance with me. We never broke if you think about. It's all a misunderstanding. _Cough._

Mai:Uh oh blood. That's not a good sign. Shiro-kun don't get sick!

Ulquiorra:I did NOT rape her! Charisei, please tell her I didn't rape you!

Kenpachi:Lily-chan, my secretary.*has a far off look*

Mai:Office assistant.

Kenpachi:Same shit! You ruined my fantasy!

Jushiro:Lily-chan.....

Mai:That's why! Kenpachi, you might just go into the cage again!

Uryu:Fix something and not add my own little touch. Thats like my signature! Grr. Fine. *grabs teddy bear and sews it without anything special*

Mai:Here Ichi Ichi!*finds him and dyes hair*Haha.

Ichigo:I guess I might as well.*starts catwalking*

Grimmjow:*does his dare*Nobody figured it out. tsipar a s'urihsuJ!

Mai:I know! Jushiro's a rapist.

Jushiro:What?

Mai:I'm good at reading and hearing things backward.

Ulquiorra:With your family's previous intoxications, its no surprise.

Ichigo to Mai's mom:Hi aunt.....

Mai's mom:Ichigo, mihijo why is your hair like that and did you hurt your leg or something? You are walking funny.

Ichigo:Mai! Mai's fault!

Mai:Snitch.

Mai's mom:I don't want to know, Mai.

Mai:You seriously don't mami.

Byakuya:Ichigo walked past me to sit down. Does that count?

Mai:*nods head*Mhm.

Byakuya:Scatter, Senbonzakura.*takes pictures*

Mai's mom:.... Weirdos.

Mai:I love you!

Mai's mom:I know you do, but why him?

Mai:He's.... nice once you get to know him. You should leave now.*mom leaves*

Kenpachi:Close one.*puts on outfit*Nobody laugh.

Mai:Alright Lily-chan. I hope you can take guilt well... *goes to room*

All:*hear lots of squeaking, screeching, and hissing of dying animals*

J.J.:All those poor creatures....

Mai:I'm wearing a shirt though.*teleports to Seireitei*

All:*wearing opposite gender swimsuits*Can anybody find me somebody to love?  
Each morning I get up I die a little  
Can barely stand on my feet  
Take a look in the mirror and cry  
Lord what you're doing to me  
I have spent all my years in believing you  
But I just can't get no relief,  
Lord!  
Somebody,(somebody) somebody(somebody)  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?  
I work hard every day of my life  
I work till I ache my bones  
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -  
I get down on my knees  
And I start to pray  
Till the tears run down from my eyes  
Lord - somebody - somebody  
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?  
(He works hard)  
Everyday - I try and I try and I try -  
But everybody wants to put me down  
They say I'm goin' crazy  
They say I got a lot of water in my brain  
Got no common sense  
I got nobody left to believe  
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah  
Oh Lord  
Somebody - somebody  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?  
Got no feel, I got no rhythm  
I just keep losing my beat  
I'm ok, I'm alright  
Ain't gonna face no defeat  
I just gotta get out of this prison cell  
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!  
Find me somebody to love  
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Mai:Boy shorts are comfy and baggy!

Byakuya:I can see why these things are so uncomfortable.

Mai:I'm trying not to laugh especially at Kenpachi.

Jushiro:*crying*_Cough. _Now I've done it! Why do I always screw up? I only wanted to make you happy. I stayed away because you like Kiba so much and I didn't want to hold you down....*gets in chair and is tortured by LilyGirl*

Orihime:I made squid pickle ice cream!

Jushiro:Ohh....*eats and is about to barf*

Mai:Poor Shiro-kun.

Uryu:*shivers***DarkDanteJ:**

**OK now what you've all been waiting for...Grimmjow since you're very lonely i want you to open the box xD *grimmjow opens the box and gets punched in the face by a big black boxing glove*LOL how did that get in here? *removes boxing glove to reveal a Big pie of any flavor and Supa Dupa huge Brownies they are Zangetsu-Size to Hihou Zabimaru-size enjoy and here is a Icepack for you Grimmjow and Orihime i dare you to slap Ulquiorra again xD**

Grimmjow:Tight!*opens box and is punched*You son of a-

Mai:Shut your mouth!

Grimmjow:....*death glares*

Mai:Yummy treats hurray!

Orihime:I'd prefer not to, but okay.*grabs him by collar and slaps him left and right*

Mai:Orihime! Don't get crazy!

Orihime:Sorry.*laughs nervously***RainingSun:**

**Hi everyone!  
Kenny-chan! I'll be your new office assistant! I can be polite/nurturing, can spell extraordinarily correctly ^^ and can kick everyone's ass if you tell me to. [Everyone except maybe you Kenny-chan, lol :3] Oh! Just in case this will affect your decision... *secretly hands bag of cookies***

****

So. URYU-CHAN! Do you like Orihime? O_O And no being a smart-ass and trying to get around the question, just answer it.  
And Hime-chan, just where oh where did you learn to cook?

**~*| Rain-chan |*~**

Kenpachi:Another person. Hm, this is going to be tough.

Mai:Do you have references?

Kenpachi:I ain't looking for that in my employees.

Mai:Stupid. What about Retsu?

Kenpachi:She's a lying cheating hussy! I caught her with another man!

Mai:You sure it wasn't your reflection again?

Kenpachi:I called the police one time and no it wasn't my reflection.

Uryu:I guess I do like Orihime.

Orihime:*blushes*You do Uryu?

Uryu:*nods yes*

Ichigo:**Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**Uryu killed barney? Wow, i've seen it all.  
I will still NEVER read Cat-in-the-hat books again,  
Shuhei says Hey, he can't say it personally because he's discovered the wonderful world of *Cough* MY GUITAR.**

****

Shuhei: Next time don't just leave it out there and expect me NOT to pla- *Plink*

ME: What...Was...that??

Shuhei: *Trys to cover the broken string on My 1976 Wine red les Paul Deluxe* NOTHING!! NOTHING AT ALL!

Me: Suchi-ru, Kumori Kyoukan

Shuhei won't be back for a while, anyways!

Ichigo! I have 2 questions for you,

1.) Who do you like more, Rukia or Orihime?

2.) When you supposedly "Died" in episode 162, Why didn't Zangetsu revert back to his unrealesed form?

Orihime, i have a very important question for you *glares*

1.) How come MOST of the time your in trouble, you take the punishment, instead of caling on your defensive shun-shun rikka sheilds?

KEN-CHAN!(can i call you that?) I'd love to become your assistant! I'm Polite, nuturing (When i want to be), i can spell superbly! and shuhei is currently knocked out, so i can kick ass!

Shuhei: *Pokes head up* Wha-

Me: *Throws frying pan* STAY UNCONSCIOUS!

**Sorry, But i'd really like to become your assistant!!**

Uryu:I didn't kill him. Someone framed me.

Mai:Shuhei. You did not just-*tries to kill him*

Ichigo:*holds her down*You can't even play!

Mai:Doesn't matter!

Ichigo:I've known Orihime for some time now, but I did go out with Rukia. I'm sorry to say this, but

Mai:*covers Orihime's ears while she was feeding Jushiro*

Ichigo:Rukia. Don't worry Byakuya, its as daed as Jushiro's sanity, love life, and taste buds.

Byakuya:Hm.

Ichigo:I don't know. I'm special that way.

Orihime:I don't have enough time to and it probably too weak to block them.

Kenpachi:You can call me Ken-chan. Do you look good in a skirt and can make Unohana super jealous!?

Mai:You are a jealous pervert.

Kenpachi:**Animefan0410:**

**XD..Cat cna't drink milk, he's lactosintolerant..I'LL BE YOUR ASSISNTANT KENPACHI! I can also be very organized, and I think I can do a good job and kicking ass when needed to..*pulls out tazer gun, and puts it back* Don't ask how I got it.**

****

I have a question for Orihime: Are you with Uryu now or no? If not, apparently you now have a chance at Ichigo since he's single! It would be off the re-bound, but you would have the man of your dreams that you love..oops..I didn't mean for Ichigo to hear that love part. He had to find out sometime *shrugs*

**I have no questions or dares for Uryu or Strawberry-I mean Ichigo**

Mai:I should have gave him milk before he died!

Kenpachi:And yet another person.

Mai:He's a guy Kenpachi.

Kenpachi:I don't need all girls. I need a guy to hang with there.

Orihime:Uryu is nice, but we aren't in that kind of relationship.

Ichigo:I don't feel like dating right now. It was obvious she was in love with me. I am not Strawberry, One who protects!

Kenpachi:Lily-chan's my secretary, Rain-chan's my office assistant, Souygo's my receptionist, and Animefan is my aide.

Mai:I thought you only needed one person.

Kenpachi:Its getting really busy.

Ichigo:How? How can you help people?

Mai:He's original to say the least.

Byakuya:Everyone is laughing at Ichigo's picture except for the girls. They keep staring.

Soi Fon:He is a handsome man.

Grimmjow:No. You aren't allowed to look at him.

Soi Fon:Don't worry. You are more than handsome.

Grimmjow:You are-

Mai:I'm bored with this. **lunarprincess21:**

**renji don't mind byakuya, he just suprised, hatin and pissed that one of his fangirls yes mai FANGIRLS can like u...*mumbles*u and byakuya were after kaien...BUT ANYWAYS i hve 3 questions:**  
**one, how did ichi-nii and chibiko broke up? and cool your jets byaku nii san i like calling rukia chibiko cause it's cute, two, shiro kun isn't this ur Q&A so why are all these other people taking over (ulquiorra and grimmjow) isn'tthis susposed to be your time to shine? and i almost died laughing when you threw a chair to keigo's head last time so i was wonderin if you would do it to someone else 2 and ...and i must congradulate all of u for being a little more sane after the rape closet but i kinda (emphasis on kinda)miss it and it's crazyness so i was wonderin if mai would make like another place where she would put these men in their place, anyways i talk 2 much, later.**

Mai:What can I say?

Ichigo:We had our differences.

Mai:When two strong wills are together, they collide with two different stand points and end up ruining the relationship.

Ichigo:*sighs*Yeah, whatever.

Jushiro:I've learned to live with it.

Mai:We still have the torture closet.

Jushiro:Why'd you remind her!? **Ashcat13:**

**Ok, I love this fic. So... first off... ICHIGO! GRIMMJOW! WE LOVE YOU! That would be me and all my friends. One of my friends' fav yaoi pairing is Ichigo and Grimmjow, how do you two feel about that?**  
**Another question, this time for everyone (especially you Ukitake) what are your thoughts about the theory that Rangiku and Gin are Toshiro's mom and dad? **  
**Evidence: - Same hair as Gin.**  
**-Same eyes as Gin (sometimes)**  
**-Both child prodigies**  
**I'm just curious.**

Mai:Awkward.... Ichi's my cousin so no comment!

Ichigo:Ewww! Why would people pair me up with a molesting, anger issues cat!

Grimmjow:Why I go with him?!

Orihime:Because its hot!

Mai:You are supposed to be innocent!

Orihime:This place changes people.

Jushiro:That's the first time I've heard of that theory.

Mai:I'm pretty sure he is Jushiro's son. I did sell that stuff for a reason.

Byakuya:They do have white hair and are talented Shinigami.

Jushiro:Maybe we are all related in some odd way.

Mai:They are both your sons!

Jushiro:I don't think so.

Mai:I do!

Jushiro:I don't. Maybe they are the children of my sisters'. That would explain the difference of our last names and our similarities.

Mai:Lets go with that.... I'm really bored!

Byakuya:We're leaving now.

Mai:Okay. You can handle now right?

Jushiro:This chair is painful.

Kenpachi:I'm hungry. I'll eat those treats that we got.

Grimmjow:*staring at Soi Fon*

Soi Fon:*looking down embarrassed*

Orihime:*humming and feeding Jushiro*

Uryu:*sewing a new cloak*

Ichigo:No! Now that I'm not with Rukia, you can't be with Mai! It's not equal.*tries to grab Mai away*

Byakuya:Kurosaki, you lay your filthy hands on her I'll cut them off.

Mai:Chill you guys.

Mai's mom:These people are crazy!

Mai:I thought you left!

Mai's mom:I don't have to leave. I payed to be here. All of you should go.

Mai:Lets go to Chuck E. Cheese's!

Jushiro:You got banned from there too.

Mai:I will get in!

Jushiro:I'm stuck in the chair though.

Grimmjow:We'll take the chair too.

Mai:Next time we'll be at the one and only Chuckie's, where a kid can be a kid! You can send your questions and dares to us. We are gonna have a fight between Byakuya and a person from Star Wars. Lets bring Xemnas too because his weapon reminds me of light sabers and it makes the same whoosh! sound. If we bring Xemnas, Saix will follow being the little teacher's pet he is and if he comes Axel will come.

xxbleedinglovexx:I think I'll come along.

Mai:Okay... Xemnas, Saix, and Axel from Kingdom Hearts and the author will be our guests.

xxbleedinglovexx:You can call me Addie. The only reason I'm coming is because I love Saix. It has nothing to do with Chuckie E. Cheese's!

Mai:Let your inner kid take over, Addie!

Addie:You should keep yours hidden. Jesus, you are older than me and you act like a three year old.

Mai:You're a meanie! Blbbb! *sticks tongue*

Addie:Sure. I would like to apologize to everyone for the chapter being so late. My computer decided to act like a jackass and not work. Thank you for your patience everyone.


	24. Where a Kid Can Be a Kid!

Mai:Hi my peeps!

Little randomly appeared chicks:peep peep peep

Jushiro:Where did you get the chicks from Mai-chan?

Mai:I am Mexican.

Jushiro:Right.

Addie:How are you doing Jushiro?

Jushiro:Not too well. Thanks.

Addie:Hello Saix. You are my favorite Organization member.

Saix:Another pitiful human emotion, devotion.

Xemnas:My sentiments exactly.

Addie:Shut up Man sex.

Xemnas:What?

Addie:Man sex. **katizo terusei:**

**Karahime: yay! you got it right mai! we are Hawaiian!  
Charisei: Lilly-san Ulquiorra didn't rape me. it was...  
Katizo: like Mai said shit happens  
Charisei: ya.  
Katizo: could you bring the Akatsuki sometime?  
Charisei: and keep them for about 5 chapters?  
Karahime: pwease!  
Katizo: *hugs Gaara* your coming with me**

Mai:Aloha! Haha

Ulquiorra:I told you Lily-chan.

Jushiro:I guess things happen in life.

Addie:I will make them appear soon.

Mai:Addie! You aren't being very fun.

Addie:I won't stoop to the little world in your head where it rains kittens and candy.

Saix:*emotionless*

Gaara:I'm out of here. Bye guys.

Saix:**Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**My guitar's fine now :), I fixed it..**

****

Ken-chan! You have like a MILLION people in the waiting room, and the Sou-taichou said if you don't get down here quickly, he is going to reveal the "Real" secret behind your buisiness.  
I do look good in a skirt though, and i don't think i could make Unohana-taicho jealous. 2 reasons...  
A.)She's satnding like right in front of me (HELP ME!)  
and B.) SHE SCARES ME!!

Oh, and Here's...your...SCHEDULES! *Hands Ken-chan 1,0,0 pages worth of Clients* *Huff* This...job...is...painful... *Passes out*

CHUCKIE E CHEESE'S! WHERE A KID CAN BE A KID!!  
I love that place..  
Can i play in the ball pit?? PLEASE?!?! I'm playing in it anyway! *Jumps in Ballpit* *Finds Barney* URYU I THOUGHT YOU AND YOUR DAD KILLED HIM!!  
*Spots Shuhei unconscious on the floor* *Pokes him like L would poke something*  
Who wants to poke him before he wakes up? He passed out shortly after his punishment (AKA I made him read a Shuhei/Izuru, Yaoi, M rated, one-shot, You know what...)

And the Author's name is Addie? I like that name!

PERVERTED WARNING: BELOW IS SOMETHING I FOUND OUT BY ACCIDENT! DON'T BLAME ME!

Xemnas: Did you know that if you re-arrange the letters in your name, you spell the word MAN SEX?

and i really don't have any questions, or dares for Saix and Axel, simply because i DON'T know who Saix is, the only reason i know who Axel is because I played Kingdom Hearts 2..

GRIMMJOW IS NOT A MOLESTING CAT WITH ANGER ISSUES! *Pets Grimmjow's head, and hands him 1 pound of Catnip, several chew-toys, and a year's supply of candy from the Candy barrel in Storm-a-long* This is supposed to be comforting, *looks at Soifon* Please don't kill me!  
*Looks back down at Grimmjow* I think you got my cat pregnant, because now i have a bunch of blue and white haired kitties running around my house, and one of the keeps eating my Ulquiorra plushie and attacking Shuhei *Which i don't mind the Shuhei part, BUT NO ONE EATS MY PLUSHIE!!)

And will someone PLEASE get Barney out of here? He's creeping me out! And i think he just ate a little kid... *Runs away screaming*

**Shuhei: *Starts singing "The Happy song" in his unconscious state***

Kenpachi:Bye everyone!

Mai:Knock yourself out Sougyo-chan. Well not really, you could drown in the ball pit.

Chuckie E. Cheese:I'll poke him! Huck!

Jushiro:Addie is her nickname.

Xemnas:I have been told so by this authoress.

Addie:Quiet Man sex. I've played Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts 2 and Kingdom Hearts 358/2 days. I started like Saix in that game.

Grimmjow:Maybe people should mistreat me more if I'm going to be constantly spoiled like this.

Soi Fon:It's alright. I'm not possessive like everyone else here.

Grimmjow:Errr! It was before you Soi-soi! I love you!

Soi Fon:I understand.

Barney:You'll never get rid of me!

Chuck E. Cheese:*punches Barney*

Jushiro:Chuck! No! Barney! Thats a low blow! Above the waists, gentlemen!

Axel:Thats weird. Does it happen often?

Mai:Oh jes.*nods madly*

Axel:I'll get it memorized. **Animefan0410:**

**...*hands over get out of dare free card* I thought I'd save it *tears it up* THat's so nobody else cna use it :D Yay CHik-E-Cheese! I haven't been there for a long time, at least they ahve fun game an dkind of cool prizes. And sweet, now I'm Zaraki's aid..No question for any of th echaracters because I don't like starwars, and Axel didn't impress me that much in KH lol..So Zaraki, what's the first thing I have to do?..And if oyu don't me asking, who is the person that she cheated on you with?..I could help you a bit in the get back at her department..Or help you win her back *..kind of creepy evil smile shows up on my face***

All:NO!

Mai:I love it here! I don't care if ain't a kid anymore.

Axel:Whatever!

Kenpachi:You can make appointments for these people!*points at thousands of people*I don't know who the guy was. Just some random dude. I haven't decided what to do. **LilyGirl101:**

**:-o Good job, Mai-chan! You guessed it correctly! It is, in fact "Jushiro's a rapist!" Wonderful job! Yay! *throws confetti and gives her cake* And, yes, I take guilt very well. I specifically chose bugs and animals who have hurt me in some way or another, so this is just another way of getting back at them! :-) And do you know how hard it was, waiting for you to update!**

****

I'm glad Jow-chan found love! *hugs him and Soi Fon* You're so adorable together! And Uryu-chan and Hime-chan are so nice together too! (thanks by the way, Uryu-chan, for fixing that bear; Daniel says thank you)

*pouts* Shiro-chan, after Kiba-chan left, I waited for you to ask me to dance for TWO HOURS, Shiro-chan! TWO HOURS! And every time I walked over, you were with RETSU-CHAN, and you seemed to be having a FINE time, thank you very much! Besides, Kiba has somebody! And, Shiro-chan, you didn't even say you liked my dress at the party! You didn't even look at me once, the whole night! You didn't even...And how could I possibly have found another, Shiro-chan? You're the guy I chose! YOU, SHIRO-CHAN! *hands him a handkerchief* Wipe the blood off your face, hon, you look like a zombie. And...you haven't called me, or said "Hi!" to me, not once! What am I SUPPOSED to think when you treat me like that?

I'm not allowed in Chuck E. Cheese's either...but I guess I can sneak in, for the sake of fun! Anyway,

OK, more dares...um...Mai-chan, I dare you to read one of the M-rated yaoi fics for Bya-nii-chan! Bya-nii-chan, I dare you to read an M-rated fic for Rukia and Shiro-chan (I've read one, and it's actually quite nice...). Zaki-chan, I guess I'm working with you from now on! *hugs* Jow-chan, I recently rewatched the episode where you died...so sad! *wipes away a tear* I also got to watch a flashback, where Ul-chan was very convincingly slapped by Hime-chan! X-D Ul-chan, I dare you to dance the Macarena in a frilly pink tutu with a trained dancing poodle!

OMIGODOMIGODOMIGOD! I found the awesomest video in the world on YouTube! Look up "Gaara's Jar of Dirt". It's kind of an over-used song, but IT IS FUNNY! Also, look at "Gaara Likes Cake" and "GAARA cuppy-cake song"! They're so funny! roflmao

I guess...I can forgive Shiro-chan...it IS kind of my fault, I guess...*walks over to him* Maybe...I can take you off the chair early. *helps him up and helps him with his wounds* I guess I kind of over-reacted...I'm sorry. But if you ever do that to me again, I'll introduce you to my fathers! I have TWO of them, and one's a marine! So if you dare hurt me again, I swear to all that's holy, they'll never find your body!

Signed with love and lust,  
LilyGirl101

**P.S.- It is highly unlikely that I will be able to review until Thursday night, OK? So, for Tuesday and Wednesday, don't expect a review from me. If I can get a review in, that'll be nice, but that's unlikely.  
P.P.S.- Hey, Shiro-chan...can I come over to your house? Please? I'm kind of lonely right now, and I miss you... I'm kind of tired of always being mad at you...**

Mai:Yay! I feel special!

Addie:I'm sorry for the wait.

Grimmjow:Yeah, I'm happy too.

Jushiro:I didn't know! I am sorry. I loved that dress. It looks, how do I say this without being disrespectful?

Mai:Just say it!

Jushiro:Sexy!

Mai:Actually, I'm allowed in Chuck E.'s. Addie isn't.

Addie:Yup. You call Chuck E. Cheese fat, he'll get pissed, and may end up squeezing your windpipe. I am wearing a mask right now.

Mai:I'll do my dare!

Byakuya:With Jushiro. Is it about them fucking?

Mai:Most likely. O my God! Icky! It describes everything! Even things _I _didn't know about!

Byakuya:I will never see Rukia in the same light....

Ulquiorra:Alright.*Wears tutu, brings Mai's dog, and dances with*Move puppy trash!

Mai:You haven't been saying trash lately. I wanna watch those videos!

Jushiro:Yes! I will devote myself entirely to you!

Addie:That sucks. I meant her not reviewing Jushiro.

Xemnas:See, only hate can fill a human heart.

Jushiro:That isn't true! There are many emotions, negative and positive. Yes come over, love of my life, my soul, my heart, my Lily-chan!

Addie:No need for over-enthusiasm.

Jushiro:There is! Lily-chan will be in my home!

Axel:This place is weirder than Castle that Never Was.

Ulquiorra:You haven't been to Las Noches. Its just big, undecorated, and creepy.

Axel:That's what she said!

Mai:Haha.

Addie:Really?

Jushiro:*daydreaming*

Xemnas:My minions are honestly this childish? I may actually feel an emotion. It's pity.

Axel:Man sex! That's why we only have one girl there because you are chasing guys!

Saix:Idiot. Was I really your friend?

Axel:Yup! **Ashcat13:**

**Hi guys! Ichi, Grimm-kitty, I share your opinions. Although, I'm bias 'cuz I'm an IchiRuki fan.**  
**Now, today I've got some dares... (insert evil laugh)**

**First I want you to give Grimm-kitty some cat-nip and a laser pointer.**

**Also, I want Ulqui to jump in the ball pit where he will likely be attacked by little children. He must stay in there until you decide.**

**Last one, promise, I want Jushiro to have a pizza eating contest with Byakuya and Axel.**

**BTW, my friends love you Xemnas, they are kinda crazy and call you Mansex. They moved the letters of your name around.**

Grimmjow:Thank you very much.

Mai:But I like my laser pointer! It makes me feel important.

Grimmjow:Hehe*starts laser pointing randomly and hits Axel in the eye*My bad. Take it like a man!

Axel:OWWW! I COULD BE FUCKING BLIND IN THAT EYE AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO TAKE IT!

Addie:Flamesilocks, you are too boisterous.

Mai:You are too quiet! *throws her into ball pit*Ulquiorra, am I going to have to do the same?

Addie:I'm going to drown!*goes under*

Ulquiorra:No.*dives in and is attacked by kids*

All:*stare*

Mai:What? She's a strong swimmer and Ulquiorra and Sougyo's there too so she's okay.

Byakuya:Honey, you can't just throw people! It has to be for a reason.

Mai:She needs to live it up sometimes!

Axel:Exactly! One of life's little lessons, get it memorized.*pokes Mai's head*

Jushiro:What kind of pizza?

Byakuya:Pepperoni.

Waitress:Here you go gentlemen.

Axel:Alright!*starts eating pizza crazily*

Jushiro:*eats the same way*

Byakuya:*takes polite bites*

Mai:*shrugs*At least he's not using a fork anymore. And Axel won! Of course.

Xemnas:I believe there was to be a fight between that man and a Star Wars character.

Mai:Oh yeah! Darth Vader and Byakuya! Go.

Byakuya:Scatter-

Darth Vader:_whoosh_ *attacks with light saber*

Byakuya:*dodges*Senbonzakura!

Darth Vader:*stops Senbonzakura with the force and accidently destroys Dance Dance Revolution*

Byakuya:Bankai. Senbonzakura Kageyoshi. *grabs one of the swords and charges*

Darth Vader:*blocks and throws him off*

Byakuya:*gets another sword and stabs him*

Mai:Yay! Go Byakuya!

Addie:Stop being a such cheerleader!

Byakuya:*pants*That was difficult.

Mai:Medical attention please!

J.J.:*wearing a male nurse's uniform*I fixed him!

Mai:*stuffs pizza in his mouth*

Addie:*panting*_huff huff_ I could have drowned you impudent!

Mai:Oooo! Big words! I'm scared!

Saix:Illiterate.

Addie:I was about to say that. I'm going to play a shooting game. Grimmjow, you can't play with me because you are a sore loser.

Grimmjow:No I'm not.

Addie:You got mad when I beat you in Alien vs Predator. You throw the machine at me.

Grimmjow:That never happened.

Jushiro:You still owe them money and unlike Mai-chan, who can break whatever she wants and have a millionaire boyfriend pay, you can't destroy everything.

Mai:I love Byakuya!

Byakuya:I love Mai!

Jushiro:I love Lily-chan!

Grimmjow:I love Soi Fon.

Addie:I don't love anything.

Saix:I don't love anything more.

Addie:You are getting on my nerves now. I hope you choke on pizza like Axel.

Saix:I hope I choke more.

Jushiro:That doesn't make very much sense.

Axel:It doesn't have to! We are Nobodies.

Jushiro:That doesn't mean you can ignore logic.

Xemnas:We can ignore whatever we want. We are superior, we are heartless, and we are bad ass bad guys.

Jushiro:Bad guys still have to use common sense.

Ulquiorra:Aizen is not an example of this, but still.

Saix:Why are we even here sir?

Xemnas:I honestly do not know.

Axel:Do-do we leave now?

Jushiro:No one particularly wants you here so yeah....

Xemnas:We are staying then.

Saix:Really? Do we have to?

Xemnas:Yes we have to. It's our job to be a pain in the ass.

Addie:I am not satisfied with this, so I am ending this for now. Jushiro.

Jushiro:Next time we are having two people that are fathers, Isshin Kurosaki and Ryuuken Ishida along with the Akatsuki. Come again!


	25. Daddy

Jushiro:Hello everyone.

Mai:I wanna take the show somewhere else now!

Jushiro:Where though?

Mai:I dunno.

Isshin:Can I come, Mai!?

Mai:Nope uncle, you cannot.

Isshin:Hmph. **DarkDanteJ:**

**I got nuntin Cept! Xemnas is awesome, Saix is Cool and Axel is just Supa Epic Nuff Said and*ducks from a pizza being thrown at his head*DAM you 3 yr old!Anyway i got a question for Saix and Axel if you guys are best friends when you were somebodies why did Saix have to ruin it by becoming a jackass and Axel for becoming more awesome then he should be it's driving me INSANE!but Axel will always be my fav. Character**

Jushiro:Addie, did you throw that pizza?

Addie:No.

Jushiro:Okay. I believe you.

Saix:I don't care about your comments. I had to rise up in power to overthrow....*looks at Xemnas*the desire to eat this pizza.....*takes bite*

Axel:Saying I changed. Bitch you changed!

Addie:Don't call him bitch, retard.

Mai:Axel's awesome, ain't he?

Kisame:We haven't even spoken yet!

Itachi:Be patient.

Kisame:Fine.

Ryuken:I haven't said a thing either. **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: k you can have Gaara back now! *throws him back***  
**Charisei: Barney vs. Chuck E. Cheese**  
**Karahime: NOT DDR! DAMN YOU!**  
**Katizo & Charisei: *squeal* AKATSUKI!**  
**Katizo: k who wants to have a chapter here in Hawaii?**  
**Charisei: it'll be fun! we can go swimming!**  
**Karahime: um...what does Gaara's tattoo mean?**

Mai:*catches*

Addie:I think this is the vacation you were talking about.

Mai:Yes! Exactamundo!

Jushiro:Gaara's tattoo is the kanji of love. It was written in his uncle's blood.

Gaara:How did you know?

Jushiro:They've got a wiki on you. **Animefan0410:**

**..You rule Isshin!..I have a question for Mai, and this was going through my head..If you're related to Ichigo, and he called your mom his aunt..Wouldn't that mean Ichigo is also part Mexican? Or was it by marriage? If so wouldn't that mean, someone in your family is nwo married to Isshin, or were they somehow related to Masaki?**

****

..And already done Zaraki..And if you want to get Restsu back, here's some flowers and chocolates, now try and get her back..If that doesn't work..And I can't believe I'm saying this, ask Isshin for help. He somehow got someone as good looking as Masaki, and he's a goofier and crazier than a clown on coke.

**((..I am a KenHana fan lol))**

Isshin:My new son!

Mai:Well, I guess Ichi's half Mexican. His middle name is Santiago!

Addie:For the sake of this fic it is.

Mai:Eddy has a grudge against for taking the name Santiago because he wanted to name one his future sons.

Eddy:That son of a bitch.

Kenpachi:You are fast. I guess I'll try. Later after this. **LilyGirl101:**

**OK, be grateful. I got off restriction early today. So, I can review! YAY!! OK, so here we go...just to warn you, I'm happy that I can review, so I'm gonna really playful today! *giggle***

****

Hey, where was Zaki-chan this time? I had fun working for him, and I wanted to talk to him about something...anyway, what does everyone think of my office uniform *twirls around in tight black skirt and low-cut blood red shirt* I even have a clipboard and new glasses and high heels! *brandishes her new accessories*

Sorry, Bya-nii-chan, and Shiro-chan, about that fic. I probably should have warned you, Nii-chan, but that IS what it's about...but then, that wouldn't have been any fun! ;-p Anyway, I'm glad Nii-chan won, even against Darth Vader!

*laughing her ass off at the antics of the Nobodies and starts filming* These guys are funny!

More dares! Jow-chan, I want you to spend two minutes in this room I have specially prepared. Every wall is covered in televisions, all of which have recordings of Ichigo I have taken, taunting you and goading you. After two minutes in the room, I forbid you to hunt him down and kill him. To Ul-chan, I guess you didn't rape her, but anyway...I dare you to sing "Over the Rainbow" in Dorothy's dress, with a little dress, and dance around too. Bya-nii-chan, I would like you to run up, insult Ishida's "pride of the Quincy", kick him real hard and run off giggling. That oughta scare the shit out of him! OK, now for Zaki-chan, dress up as Little Bo Peep, and herd your entire Squad around like sheep. Now for Mai-chan, I want you to bounce on a trampoline for the rest of this chapter in a flappy, loose dress. Shiro-chan, I don't have a dare for you right now. You can help me come up with one later, though!

*blushes* You really thought that about my dress? Wow, thanks! *hugs and kisses him* No one's ever called me "sexy" before...I don't mind the over-enthusiasm at all. It's cute! *ruffles his hair* So adorable, my little Shiro-chan! And he looks so adorable when he's daydreaming!!

**Signed with love and lentils,  
Preparing for a really fun night with Shiro-chan,  
Lily-chan *heading over to Shiro-chan's house***

Mai:Yay! I like to play!

Kenpachi:Right here.*raises hand*

Jushiro:I love it, but do you have to wear for Kenpachi? Can't you wear that for when it's just you and me?

Mai:That's a subtle way of saying he's super duper jealous that you would wear that for Kenny Penny.

Jushiro:*nods head slowly*

Axel:*igniting flames*On flame. Off flame. On flame. Off flame. On fla-

Jushiro:I would advise you not to do that.

Axel:Why?

Addie:Saix! You're on fire!

Saix:YOU SON OF A FUKIN BITCH!!!

Addie:When I'm done extinguishing Saix, Axel I am going to kill you.

Axel:*shrugs*Off flame. On flame. Off flame. On flame.

Grimmjow:*goes into room*THAT BASTARD I'LL KILL YOU KUROSAKI!

Mai:You can't.

Ulquiorra:*wears Dorthy dress with red glittery shoes and dances*Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.  
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.  
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.  
And the dreams that you dare to dream  
Really do come true.  
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.  
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.  
That's where you'll find me.  
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,  
Why then - oh, why can't I?  
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,  
Why, oh, why can't I?

Byakuya:Quincy pride my ass!*pantses Ryuuken*

Ryuken:I don't have Quincy pride. Thats my miserable son.

Byakuya:*kicks him and runs to Mai giggling*Hehehe

Jushiro:Thats- thats nice Byakuya.....

Kenpachi:I'm little Bo Peep. Come here stupid sheep.

Mai:Haha. It seems you already sheared that one!*points at Ikkaku's shiny head*Uh-oh. Byakuya I'm not wearing underwear! Oh yes I am! False alarm.*jumps on trampoline*

Jushiro:Yes you are. I love you, Lily-chan! **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**Shuhei: Thanks! *Hint major sarcasm* I've been unconscious for 2 chapters? AND YOU STILL LET HER *Points at me* POKE ME? Jeez, some friends you are**

****

Me: Oh suck it up! and MAI! When you threw Ulquiorra in the ball pit he hit my head! Now it hurts...

Ken-chan: Sou-taichou burnt down the reception office, started complaining about "Evil chappy bunnies" do you have a clue WHAT is going on?

ISSHIN! Your funny, can you hit Ichigo in the head for me? It's funny when you do that :)

Ryuuken? Funny name, but i realy don't know you that well, so you have no questions.

Byakuya: YOU DESTROYED DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION! I WAS GOING TO PLAY THAT TIL YOU DESTROYED IT!! Now i'm mad at you!!

Grimmjow: Your kids are just like you -.-, they have officially destroyed my house. HERE! *Hands everyone a kitten* Have fun, and oh yeah Ulquiorra? The white on your holding WILL bite you, especially if you have long hair O_o

I found Narnia in Chuck E Cheeses! If you travel down in the ball pit, there it is!

*WARNING* Don't go in there, they're not very nice.

Shuhei: I wonder... *Hands Grimmjow a dart gun*

Me: Please don't kill anyone with it...

Since you brought th Akatsuki this time, can you bring Edward Elric and Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist? and i wanna see them fight!

**I have no questions for the Akatsuki, simply because i don't wanna die...**

Mai:Really great ones Shuhei! Sorry Sougyo-chan.

Kenpachi:I would tell you, but that's confidential.

Isshin:Ichigo!*tries to kick in the head*

Ryuuken:Hm.

Byakuya:It was an annoying game anyway.

Mai:Only because you lose all the time.

Jushiro:If we give them mirrors, they should be calm.

Kitty:Meew!

Jushiro:See? Edward and Roy will be our guests.

Grimmjow:Haha. Wait this could have been useful when I didn't have a girlfriend!

Axel:The White Witch is a racist I bet.

Jushiro:Why do you say that?

Axel:I don't know. I felt like saying it.

Jushiro:You said you can't feel.

Axel:You have white hair!

Saix:So does our boss.

Xemnas:Yes, what is wrong with white hair?

Axel:Nothing. I was going to say it's awesome...

Sasori:Wise choice not to mess with us.

Mai:Don't intimidate my reviewer!

Axel:Thats rude!

Saix:Stop talking Axel. We may get by unnoticed if we don't talk for awhile.

Xemnas:It does not matter because both of you are staying.

Axel:Seriously?

Xemnas:Dead serious.

Saix:*face palms himself*

Axel:*claps*I like this place.

Xemnas:*opens dark corridor*

Saix:Aren't you going to stay?

Xemnas:Hell no. I do not want to go insane.

Axel:A little later there, superior sir.

Xemnas:Stay. Thats an order.

Saix:Why?

Xemnas:..... When I come up with a reason I'll tell you.

Mai:I like the red head! He's funny and loud! Not like the other red head!*points to Gaara*We love you though.

Axel:I like you too! Wanna make out?

Byakuya:No she doesn't. Back away so I don't get blood on my clothes.*unsheathes Senbonzakura*

Axel:*hides in ball pit*

Gaara:I'm a dad now, so it's probably not the best time to act like that.

Isshin:You are a father?! What's wrong with this generation? Ryuuken I remember a time when we never did things with a girl unless we were married to them.

Ryuken:I don't.

Isshin:Who cares about Quincies anyway! So was it a boy and a girl?

Ryuken:*shoots at Isshin*My finger slipped.

Gaara:Both.

Isshin:.....

Gaara:Twins.

Isshin:I have twins too! Both girls. Angels really! And that one disrespectful boy.

Ryuken:One son.

Jushiro:There's a soon to be father here too! Ulquiorra.

Isshin:You better hope it's not a boy.

Ulquiorra:Whatever, old trash.

Isshin:You are going to lose that attitude when you become a daddy.

Ulquiorra:You are going to lose your head if we don't end the chapter in twenty seconds.

Jushiro:Our next chapter we'll have to multitask as we pack for the trip and do this. Guests are Roy Mustang, Ed Elric, and the Akatsuki. Permenant characters are Kasaimai Sumiko, J.J. Sumiko, Jushiro Ukitake, Byakuya Kuchiki, Ulquiorra Schiffer, Kenpachi Zaraki, Grimmjow Jeagerjaquez, Gaara, and now Saix and Axel.


	26. On the way

Mai:*packing a lot of swim suits*

Axel:*packing while playing On flame. Off flame*

Roy:My flames are better!

Axel:My flames are real!

Jushiro:Welcome everyone. We are almost done here and will be on our way to the airport.

Ed:Wait. We are going to Hawaii with you?!

Mai:Only if you want.

Roy:Alright. Everyone once in a great colonel deserves a vacation like this. **katizo terusei:**

**Charisei: *trying to hold Katizo back* Kat no!  
Katizo: I wanna! *steps on Charisei's foot* DEIDARA! *glomps*  
Karahime: the blonde midget? *smirks* i challenge you to guitar hero!  
Katizo: aww! i wanna play!  
Karahime: you can play against Zetsu.  
Katizo: NO!! he already ate my puppy I don't want him to eat me!!  
Charisei: by the way Kat has a tattoo of the Kanji of dream on her-  
Katizo: SHUT UP!!  
Charisei: *smirks* i don't see what the big deal is. it's just in between your breasts  
Katizo: SHUT UP!  
Charisei: no  
Katizo: *points to Itachi*  
Charisei: *gasps* ITACHI!*glomps*  
Karahime: we can't wait for you guys to get here  
Katizo: *hugs Akatsuki minus Konan* It'll be so much fun!!  
Charisei: and any of the reveiwers can come too!**

Deidara:*a little shocked*

Ed:How are you callin' so small you need a telescope to see!?*grabs a guitar*

Mai:She's beat Ed!

Roy:Because Ed is so great and talented.*sarcastic*

Gaara:*nosebleed*

Mai:You would already know about that Gaara.

Gaara:Be-be quiet.*blushes and looks away.

Addie:Itachi's awesome.

Mai:Alright get in the car peoples. Lets get in to the airport.

All:*get in Mai's large truck*

Byakuya:I'm driving. **Animefan0410:**

**..Hurray Hawaii!..May I sugget Maui or Honalulu? *starts packing*..I got a question for Zaraki..Before we leave, think I could run the training session for your squad?..I will be brutal to them...They'll wish you were training them after they deal with me. But I can go easy on Yachiru.  
Can't wait to see a fight between Mustang and Ed...PLACE YOUR BETS! I got $10 on Edward**

Mai:We'll go everywhere in Hawaii. Do you think we'll see Stitch?

Jushiro:I highly doubt it.

Axel:Downer.

Jushiro:Its true. We aren't.

Kenpachi:Go ahead and take over while I'm gone.

Roy:Why bet on Ed if he'll lose?

Ed:Shut up!

Roy:No.

Ed:Shut up!

Byakuya:Stop fighting or so help me I will turn this car around!

Ed&Roy:Yes sir.

Mai:$10 on Roy....

Byakuya:Mai, don't provoke them-

Mai:Or you'll turn this car around. Ooo I kinda wanna have fun before we get to the plane and have to have our fun in the bathroom.

Byakuya:Mai don't do that while I'm driving! Get your hand off there!

Mai:Fine. No fun at all. **LilyGirl101:**

**OK, dares for this time around...Jow-chan,I dare you to peep on Hime-chan and/or Rangiku-chan (and by the way, you have permission to go kill Carrot top-san now). Ul-chan, I dare you to take Hime-chan out on a date! Tell me how it goes, by the way!Bya-nii-chan, I want you to truthfully admit about a time when you were wrong *gets out video camera*. Mai-chan, I dare you to...duct tape an angry bee to your nose, and poke it with a needle ever so often. Gaara, I dare you to go to sleep. Zaki-chan, take the bells out of your hair. Shiro-chan, my brother dares you to go make Chuck Norris cry *calls Squad Four, just in case he survives*. Roy-chan, I would like you to dress in a blue sequin-covered dress that I have and parade around Seireitei with a banner that says "Smurfs will rule the world" while singing "Ring of Fire". Ed-chan, I dare you to go around and tell people how short you are.**

****

Darn, I forgot my question for the Akatsuki! You know, that's probably best. Mentioning that I'm hiding a nine-tailed nezumi in my soul probably wouldn't have been very smart, huh? *realizes they're right there* Oh, dear...uh...

Wow, Shiro-chan's jealous! *hugs him* How sweet! Sorry, but it IS my work uniform...I'm required to wear it. But I'm sure I can find something special to wear for you!

**Signed with love and leeks,  
Lily-chan  
*now running for her life from the Akatsuki***

Grimmjow:*is caught peeping at LilyGirl*Holy... when did you get here?! I'll do my dare now. *goes to peep at Rangiku*I'm going to Kurosaki now.

Mai:The only way I'll let you out of this car is if you have a dare Grimmjow.

Ulquiorra:Does this constitute as cheating on Charisei?

Addie:It's only a dare. So unless you screw Orihime, you are good.

Ulquiorra:Fine...*calls Orihime*Yeah. It's only a dare so don't feel special.

Byakuya:A time I was wrong. I was wrong about Mai's grandma. She looked like a nice, little old senile lady so I said,"Hi there pretty lady." to make her feel nice. I did _not_ get the predicted response.

Jushiro:Byakuya got beat more than a pinata at J.J.'s birthday party. She whacked him really well with that broom. It broke in half when she tried to shove it up an inappropriate place.

Byakuya:I was trying to get on good terms with her!

Mai:It didn't work. Oh thats my dare. *duct tapes bee*Hi there little bee! Sting me and I'll kill you ten times over!

Bee:buzzzz*lifts stinger*

Mai:*glares evilly*

Bee:BUZZ!*explodes*

Axel:How does that happen!?

Grimmjow:We may never know, but thats why we never say no.

Gaara:*goes to sleep against the window*

Mai:I used some weird shit to make him not do go all RAWR!! in my car.

Kenpachi:Lily-chan! It takes me three hours! Three hours to get my hair like this!!

Addie:Shut up. *takes bells out of hair*I wanna wear them now.*ties them in her hair with ribbons*

Jushiro:How can I make Chuck Norris cry! Thats not possible!

Mai:Show him the Kuchiki Byakuya: 50 facts of life fanfic. Its so funny. It takes Chuck Norris facts and Byakuyas them!

Jushiro:*grabs copy of fic*..... Run, run away!! I did it without any injuries!

Roy:Smurfs will rule the world! *puts on dress and looks at everyone*You know I look hot and are jealous.

Jushiro:Yes, we sure are.

Ed:I'm 4'11".

Mai:I'm 5'8"! Ha!

Addie:5'7"*sitting to his left*

Grimmjow:6'1"*sitting to his right*

Ed:Can I sit somewhere else?

Jushiro:I'm really eager to see my special outfit!

Mai:But it's not yours. Lily-chan's.

Jushiro:It's meant only for me though! That means you can't see!*points in Byakuya's face*You can't see!*points in Kenpachi's face*And the rest of you can't see!

Mai:Your funny Shiro-chan!

Akatsuki:*plotting to get Lily*

Jushiro:Don't touch her or I'll throw you out this ca- We are here! Now to head over to the plane. **RainingSun:**

***Arrives at computer panting and gasping for breath* Phew! Omg, I missed a lot. Sumimasen! I was with my school for our Quebec trip! And we gotted back yesterday in the middle of the night. Sumimaseen!**

****

Anyway. Kenny-chan! Reporting for duty Taichou! Here is the appointments I've booked for you. *hands 3-foot-high pile of papers* I've left in 30-min intervals after each 5th appointment so you can relax and since there are so many potential patients I've demanded a pre-appointment deposit to secure their spot. Oh, and I brought cookies! *hands cookies* Tell me if you need anything!

YAY FOR BYAKU-CHAANN! Darth Vader didn't stand a chance against you Muahaha:3

As for dares, questions, truths, etc...  
Mai-chan! Can I have one of the baby chicks kudasai? I love little baby chicks!  
And... Grimmjow! I dare you to go into a room with a hundred cats for an hour! *Hands Mai-chan a secret camera* Here, hide this in the room *smirk*

Mehh...I'm so tired right now so I can't think of any more dares. ;\ Well have fun everyone!

**~*| Rain-chan |*~**

Mai:Rain-chan!*hugs*Quebec? That sounds awesome!

Kenpachi:You are good. Thank you.

Byakuya:Thanks.

Mai:Here you go.*hands all the chicks*

Grimmjow:*goes into room*

Mai:*records and feeds it into t.v. in the plane so everyone could see*

Grimmjow on tape:No don't rub against my leg! Stop licking! I-I can't do that anymore!

Cat:Meow?

Grimmjow:Because I have a girlfriend!

Ed:Too bad Al's not here. He loves cats.

Al:I'm right here, brother!

Ed:Al?! What are you doing here?

Roy:I informed him and he was invited by her.

Mai:Mhmm!

Jushiro:**Ashcat13:**

**Not many questions this time. I kinda want you to bring in Yoruichi and Kisuke. Although I bet Byakuya doesn't want the 'were-cat' to come. Do you, Little Byakuya. (evil smile)**

Mai:Okay! I like Yoru and Kiki.

Byakuya:Does she have to? I wanted us to have alone time, but with her around it isn't going to happen!

Mai:Its okay little Byakuya!

Byakuya:I'm not so little...

Mai:Hmph! Not now I'm buckling my seat belt!*mocking Byakuya*

Byakuya:You are seriously killing this vacation!

Mai:I'm a killer!

Jushiro:Thats funny coming from the proffessional.

Saix:These people.*groans***DarkDanteJ:**

**LOL i dare Saix and Axel to have a supa epic fight then i dare Axel and the Flaming torch(fantastic 4)to have a flame off then a fight between Saix and Jacob Black(Twillight)because Saix goes beserk everytime he looks at moon and so do werewolves and lastly Saix why were you such a pain in the ass on KH2 i only have to beat you in 5 minutes a tried again later and it was 2 i mean WTF? do nobodies get weaker after death?**

Axel:Flame off like cuss them out or to kick their asses?

Jushiro:*shrugs*

Axel:I'll just set them on fire then.*makes a ring of fire so they can't escape*

Flaming Torch:*sets them on fire*

Addie:Saix!! No!! I'll kill you dumb fuck!*strangles Axel*

Mai:Jacob's hot.

Byakuya:*rolls eyes*

Mai:He is!

Jushiro:Enough Addie!

Addie:Fine. *puts on nurse's outfit*I take care of you Saix.

Saix:Ouch. It hurts pretty bad.

Addie:How bad?

Saix:...... I should answer my question. I don't know. Maybe you got better or noticed a pattern in my attacks.

Addie:Thats what I do.

Saix:....*looks away*

Axel:*grabs his head*She's wearing it for you retard! You call me stupid! You are stupid if you look away.

Addie:It's not a trashy uniform! It reaches my knees!

Axel:But it's a nurse's so it is.

Addie:I'm changing.

Axel:Awww. Look what you did Saix.

Saix:You are the one harassing her.

Axel:You weren't.

Saix:If I had a heart, I'm pretty sure it would be telling me to choke you.

Mai:She wasn't trying to be sexy Axel! That sexual harassment!

Jushiro:*shaking*The plane is going to stay in the air. The plane is going to stay in the air.*chanting*

Mai:Flying scare you?

Jushiro:*nods*

Addie:Poor baby!*smacks the back head of his head*You can fucking walk on air! You fought on it and you are scared!

J.J.:Grow some balls! I can't walk on air and I'm not scared!

Jushiro:I have a fear of altitude in a plane okay?*throws up*

All:Ewwww.

Saix:At least don't have to sit next to him.

Mai:There's an empty seat next to Addie!

Addie:There's an empty seat between Axel and Roy.*puts backpack on seat next to her*

Saix:*goes to sit between Axel and Roy*

Roy:Listen to me! I am the flame alchemist Colonel Roy Mustang! I am the flame master!

Axel:Nonono! I am the Flurry of the fucking Dancing Flame! I am the master of flames!

Saix:Shut up already. I am getting a headache. If I had a heart-

Mai:"If I had a heart this! If I had a heart that!" Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I'll give you hearts then!*somehow gives them hearts*

Axel:Oh my God... I feel happy! I can actually feel happy! Thank you so much!*points at Roy*I'm still the flame master.

Roy:Nu-uh! I am!

Saix:Be quiet you fucking ignorants! I'm trying to enjoy this!*starts to cry*I never thought this would happen Axel.

Axel:*hugs Saix*

Saix:Get off of me. I feel happy and offended by Addie.

Addie:What did I do?

Saix:You didn't want me to sit next to you.

Addie:I am a shy person...

Saix:Well I am going to sit next to you, whether you care or not!*throws Addie's backpack*

Addie:*blushing*

Mai:*thinking:Oh dear! He's making a move on her! I can't let him win her! She is too innocent.*Grrr

Byakuya:Mai, what's wrong?

Mai:Nothing.*thinking:We are right next to the full moon! When Addie sees him in berserk mode, she'll be too scared to talk to him. You are such a genius!*Can I open a window?

Flight Attendant:Sure.

Mai*opens*Saix! Look!

Axel:*covers Saix's eyes. thinks:he needs a girl. If not he'll stay a pain in the ass. points at Mai and gives her a look saying 'I'm on to you.'*

Mai:*shrugs and gives a look saying 'What are you talking about?'*

Axel:*welds all the windows shut*

Saix:Get the fuck off! What the hell is happening?

Addie:I don't know, but it stinks of sabotage and Mai.

Mai:I don't stink! Shiro-chan I don't stink huh!

Jushiro:No you don't! Thats rude, Addie!

Addie:I meant that this is sus-

Mai:No! I am too emotionally distraught to hear you! You are grounded! Go to the front of the plane and you aren't aloud to talk to Saix for the rest of the flight!

Addie:You aren't my mom.

Mai:I have full authority over you. Your mom said I could even spank you!

Jushiro:Mai-chan, isn't that excessive? Why can't she talk to Saix instead of everyone else?

Mai:Jushiro Ukitake! Don't try to use _reason_ on me or make me _understand_! I will make as much nonsense as I want too!

Saix:You are being stupid and tyrannical right now!

Jushiro:Ah ah!*grabs Saix's lips* Don't say another word. We will arrive in Hawaii next chapter with our guests being Yoruichi and Kisuke.


	27. Aloha Peoples!

Jushiro:Hi everyone! Here we are in the Aloha state. It was a grueling trip over here due to Roy and Axel bickering, Ed's short complex, Grimmjow and Soi Fon's inappropriate deeds, Mai's overprotectiveness, and Byakuya and Ulquiorra's typical emoness.

Byakuya:I am not emo. I am just deprived of something...

Roy:I am the master of flames!

Axel:No! You are the master of idiocy!

Ed:Why is everyone so much taller than me? Why?

J.J.:I'm shorter, by a little.

Ed:Great.

Mai:I'm watching you two! Get your hand off her shoulder or I will break it off!

Addie:Hawaii sure beats California.

Saix:Not by much.

Addie:Don't be silly. Its so much better here!

Saix:Meh. It so-so.

Mai:Stop arguing with her! You can't talk to her now!*grabs Addie by shoulders*

Yoruichi:Hey, Mai, why are you trying to ruin them?

Kisuke:You should let young love blossom.

Yoruichi:Like ours.

Byakuya:You two are old though.

Yoruichi:Did you say something Little Byakuya? **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**YAY YAY YAY! Ed and Roy are coming!! :))**

****

*Points in Sasori's face* I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU! YOU RED HEADED PUPPETEER! Pshh, Itachi's Mangyeko Sharingan and Deidara's clay figures are better than you!! *Sticks out tongue* *Holds up a Deidara Plushie* SEE! HE has a plushie! You have *Searches for anything related to Sasori* AH HA! YOU have a... candy dispenser? Wait that can't be right... *Searches for something else* HA HA HA! YOU have a... really Shuhei?You went al the way to Wal-Mart... to buy this?? *Holds up a GIANT Sasori poster* Seriously?

Shuhei: Well you said go buy something with that dude on it that wasn't a friggin plushie, you Baka.

Anyways,

AKATSUKI INTIMIDATION TIME!! *Everyone thank Sasori for this segment*

*Pops up in front of Akatsuki* *brings out My Supa Dupa Swinging watch* When i snap my finger you will dance the caramalldansen while balancing 4 plates, 17 forks, 6 spoons, 12 tea cups, a tea pot, 8 bowls and 72 posiened tipped darts on your NOSE! *Evil Laughter*

AKATSUKI INTIMIDATION SUCCESS!

Roy: EK *Points* Your ROY MUSTANG! THE FLAME ALCHEMIST! I find you hilarious!! Especially your speech on tiny mini-skirts! " WHen i become Fuhrer, all female officers will be required to wear, TINY MINI-SKIRTS!" Then Havoc hugs your leg, that was funny!

ED: *Evil Laughter* I have a supa dupa dare for you! *Ponts and sets a gallon of milk in front of him* I dare you drink thi WHOLE thing!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!  
*Sits on random throne* *Starts pettin a Blue Kitty* WHite kitty is not pleased with that mirror of yours, he will now scratch whoever is next to him.

White Kitty: *Looks at Axel* *Evil Kitteh Laughta* YOZ IZ MA VICTUM FOO! *Starts attacking Axel*

Me: Godd kitteh :))

Shuhei: *Hits Me over the head with a Frying pan* HAHA! *Looks at everyone* DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! WHEN YOU LIVE WITH *Points at me* FOR 4 CHAPTERS! THEN YOU CAN LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!

Mystery person: *Traps Shuhei ina cage* Long story short, Shuhei hs gone mad from all this head hitting, and Sougyo-chan lost all her plushies to the "Mysterious Kitty god" That and the 12th division got a hold of her after they found out that she had a Zanpakuto, oh yeah.. She wanted you guys to have these *Hands them Paintball guns* she wanted you to play ultimate paintball.

Shuhei: LET ME GO!! *Starts biting the bars to escape*

**Mystery person: they should be fine next chapter, Hopefully.**

Roy:I would cheer too if I were you.

Ed:She cheering for me harder, Colonel Ego.

Roy:Say something short stack?

Ed:At least my ego isn't as large as yours!

Roy:At least I'm not shorter than it.

Mai:I'm not sure thats a good thing. Itachi is way cooler than you Sasori.

Sasori:Hmph. I like that poster.

Akatsuki except Sasori:Sasori!*do dare*

Mai:*throws rock to screw them up*

Roy:Would you like to wear a mini skirt?

Kenpachi:She's already wearing one for me.

Roy:*looks*Not mini enough.

Ed:Milk is just the opaque secretions of a cow though!

Mai:Drink it!

Ed:*chugs it down and shivers*

Axel:I'm setting the damn thing on fire!*starts flames*But I can't because I'll feel guilty! Dammit!*is attacked*

Mai:Bad Shuhei! Who are you Mystery person? Saix! I can still see you!

Saix:I wasn't doing anything with her. **Animefan0410:**

***Now sitting next to Zaraki..The window seat* I'm glad I made it..Hey Mai, what happened to the fight between Roy and ED?..I also need the money for your bet..This is a betting pool.**

****

So you know Zaraki, more than half of your squad is in Squad 4 being healed, they all have very serious injuries, two of them have clsoe to fatal, and unfortunately one of them died *mumbled to self*..idiot couldn't dodge the blade..*clears throat*. I had them run an Obstacle course, they had to outrun 5 dobermans, 5 rottweilers, and 5 german shepeards, all trained to kill or hurt them to the point they need major hospitilization. Then after they outrun the dogs, they had to jump into a pool where they had to outswim 2 juvenile sharks, and then run through a path of swinging blades..No swords allowed.

...*shoots Jacob with a silver bullet*..I hate Twilight lol

**..But a question I do now have is for Kisuke. Why do you like candy so much?**

Roy:Yeah sure you are the fire king, sure.*voice dripping with sarcasm*

Axel:Shut the hell up! You are just a lame pervert.

Roy:Grrr*puts on gloves*

Jushiro:They couldn't do it because it would have been too destructive and would have wrecked the plane, causing me to faint and or scream.

Ed:We have to fight.

Roy:Can't you see I'm fighting a real man, shortie?*blows him away with one shot*

Mai:I won!

Axel:You like to mess with little kids now?

Roy:What about when you fought those kids?

Axel:It wasn't for fun!

Kenpachi:They better be in shape when I come back.

Mai:I don't like the movies, but the books were decent.

Addie:Jacob was hot though.

Mai:Heck yeah!*high fives Addie and 'accidently' slaps Saix*My goodness! I am just so clumsy!

Kisuke:I like candy because its sweet!

Addie:Well thats a pretty predictable answer. **katizo terusei:**

**Charisei: 3...2..1..  
Katizo: *glomps *  
Karahime: stupid midget is still taller than me.  
Charisei: ya Karahime is only 3'11  
Karahime: so your 5'0 and Kat is 5'4  
Charisei: 4 inches big deal  
Katizo: TOBI!!* glomps*  
Charisei: Kat what is wrong with you?  
Katizo: *points at Karahime* she gave me sugar  
Charisei: shit!  
Katizo: *giggles* plus every Akastuki deserves a hug! (except Konan. she is scary)  
Karahime: oh well don't hug MY Tobi  
Katizo: my Tobi!  
Karahime: mine!  
Katizo: fine but i get Deidara, Sasori, Kakazu and Hidan  
Charisei: what about me?  
Karahime: you get Itachi!  
Charisei: yay! *glomps him*  
Katizo: weird. Ulquiorra control your baby's momma  
Karahime: k how about the Akatsuki sing the sailor song?!  
Katizo: yay!! *smiles* Mai you & me are getting matching tattos end of story. *drags her to tattoo parlor***

Deidara:Ahh!

Ed:I feel better about my height now!

Mai:I feel too tall now...

Addie:Me too...

Tobi:*is glomped*

Ulquiorra:I feel like having sugar, guys.

All:NO!

Itachi:*is glomped twice*

Mai:Don't give me that look, Byakuya! He's my third favorite!

Ulquiorra:*grabs Charisei and hugs her then kisses passionately*How's that?

Akatsuki:So if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together, just to sing we love you  
And if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together just for you

Itachi:Racing all around the seven seas  
Chasing all the girls and making robberies  
'Causing panic everywhere they go  
Party-hardy on Titanic

Kisame:Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing  
Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking  
Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing  
Come, let us sing the sailor-song

Akatsuki:So if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together, just to sing we love you  
And if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together just for you

Konan:Sailorman, you really turn me on  
Now the guys are gone, come and let us get it on  
Girls like me are pretty hard to find  
So if you go, I'll kick your Heine

Deidara:Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing  
Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking  
Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing  
Come, let us sing the sailor-song

Akatsuki:So if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together, just to sing we love you  
And if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together just for you

Sasori:Now, let's fight!  
Ha, that's not a knife, this is a knife!  
eik!!!

Tobi:Sailing, sailing, jumping off the railing  
Drinking, drinking 'till the ship is sinking  
Gambling, stealing, lots of sex-appealing  
Come, let us sing the sailor-song

Akatsuki:So if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together, just to sing we love you  
And if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together just for you, Oh yeah!

Hidan:I'm king of the world! woohoo!  
Wow, this was great!  
Yeah, baby, you can sail my ship

Akatsuki:So if we all come together, we know what to do  
We all come together just for you... Yeah!

All:*clap politely except for Grimmjow because he can't be fucking polite for shit*

Grimmjow:*not clapping, but throwing rotten tomatoes*

Mai:Tattoo!? My mom will kill me. She doesn't care that I'm not a minor no more. I want a tattoo of roses around my wrist!

Addie:Thats what I wanted!

Saix:A tattoo is-

Byakuya:Very hot.

Grimmjow:I wonder if Soi will get one.

Soi Fon:Not on my ass.

Grimmjow:Thats the best spot! **LilyGirl101:**

**Oh, Hawaii! I've never been to Hawaii! Actually, I've never really been ANYWHERE...but, oh well! *shrugs* I'm gonna have fun with Shiro-chan! YAY!!**

****

Neko-neko-chan! *hugs her* Wow! Did you guys know that I heard of Neko-neko-chan before I heard of Bleach? She actually inspired me to start watching it! X-D All the episodes with Neko-neko-chan are automatically awesome episodes! *hugs her again*

*catches Jow-chan peeping* Um...hi? Uh...I don't really mind you doing that, but...Shiro-chan might. Aw, Mai-chan, let him kill Carrot-top-san now! He deserves it! And, Jow-chan, if you were desperate enough to peep, you could have just shared the bath with me...really. *hugs him*

Zaki-chan, I'll help you fix your hair again, OK? As an "I'm sorry" gesture, OK? *climbs onto his shoulders and starts fixing his hair* And by the way...Itachi ripped my uniform. You're gonna have to pick me a new one. This was a one-of-a-kind, so it won't be exactly the same, but...I'll wear anything you push at me! Go wild! *still fixing his hair*

I feel for the Nobodies. Sometimes on this show, I feel like I'm surrounded by idiots (in Shiro-chan's case, awesome, adorable, SEXY idiots). *sigh* What can I do, though! They're all owned by Mai-chan, so...*still fixing Zaki-chan's hair*

OK, dares for this chapter...I dare Jow-chan to wear a hulu outfit and dance around with a stick. I dare Ul-chan to sing "Just Like You" by Three Days Grace. I dare Gaara-chan to sing the "Jar of Dirt" song! X-D I dare Bya-nii-chan to dance to "Can't Touch This" with Mai-chan! *still fixing Zaki-chan's hair* Nobodies, I dare you to do the can-can. Shiro-chan, I dare you to strip (again!). Mai-chan, I dare you to watch. Bya-nii-chan, you're not allowed to interfere! Neko-neko-chan, I can't think of a dare for you...Kisuke-chan, I dare you to do that one guy's "Lucky Dance" (can't remember his name for the life of me) *still fixing Zaki-chan's hair*

Eek, I'm still running from the Akatuski...*looking over her shoulder while fixing Zaki-chan's hair*

Shiro-chan, don't be afraid of flying on planes! I've been on a plane ONCE before. The trick is to talk to someone, or read a book, and DON'T sit in the window seat. *hugs him* Hope that helps!  
*looks in her bag and remembers something* Oh, yeah...I have to show you your special outfit, Shiro-chan! *grins evilly and jumps at him* C'mere, hot stuff! *drags him into the bedroom, locks the door*

**Signed with love and lust,  
Lily-chan *will finish Zaki-chan's hair when she's all done with Shiro-chan***

Jushiro:Tons of fun, Lily-chan!

Yoruichi:Thanks! Thats awesome!

Addie:I only started watching Bleach because Byakuya.

Jushiro:You will not take a bath with her, Grimmjow. I will do very terrible things to you.

Soi Fon:I will break every bone in your body if you do, Grimmjow.

Kenpachi:Thanks. I can't imagine my hair without it. A new uniform?*gives you bikini*

Jushiro:Kenpachi, the same goes for you. I will do very very terrible things to you.

Kenpachi:What? We are in Hawaii!

Saix:I only think one person here isn't an idiot.*looks at Addie*

Mai:*gets in the way*Thank Saix! But that means you are calling her an idiot.

Axel:Not you!

Mai:You shouldn't be talking, baka!

Axel:Oh yeah? You're a bigger one!

Jushiro:We are supposed to be enjoying this vacation, but all your fighting is ruining it! Mai, you leave them alone! Axel and Roy, be quiet! You both have your weaknesses and are equals. Ed, you are short. Live with it. Grimmjow, stop trying to suck Soi Fon's face off! Byakuya and Ulquiorra, you guys, just yeah...

Mai:I'm still watching you, Saix.

Grimmjow:*hulas around a stick*

Ulquiorra:I could be mean  
I could be angry  
You know I could be just like you

I could be fake  
I could be stupid  
You know I could be just like you

You thought you were standing beside me  
You were only in my way  
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me  
You were only in my way  
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you  
You thought you were there to guide me  
You were only in my way  
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be cold  
I could be ruthless  
You know I could be just like you

I could be weak  
I could be senseless  
You know I could be just like you

You thought you were standing beside me  
You were only in my way  
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me  
You were only in my way  
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you  
You thought you were there to guide me  
You were only in my way  
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

On my own, cause I can't take living with you  
I'm alone, so I won't turn out like you  
Want me to

You thought you were standing beside me  
You were only in my way  
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

You thought you were there to guide me  
You were only in my way  
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you  
You thought you were there to guide me  
You were only in my way  
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you

I could be mean  
I could be angry  
You know I could be just like you

Gaara:I've got a jar of dirt!  
I've got a jar of dirt!  
I've got a jar of dirt!  
And guess what's inside it!

Mai:That's really short. I'm not sure if those are the real lyrics.*starts dancing with Byakuya*

Byakuya:I am used to being demeaned now.*dances*

Jushiro:*strips*

Mai:Been there, done that, but always great to see it again!

Byakuya:*very pissed and thinking for a way to get back:She doesn't want those two together... I'll help Axel hook them up!*

Mai:What are you thinking about? Don't be mad! I enjoy you more!

Kisuke:That one guy's lucky dance....

Kenpachi:*groans*Do you mean Ikkaku?

Kisuke:Okay.*does lucky dance and candy, ice cream, and Yoruichi fall on his lap*Wow! It really works!

Jushiro:YES!*is dragged away*

Mai:*watching Saix and Addie intensely*

Axel&Roy:*continue fight*

Ed:*goes into depression about height*

Grimmjow&Soi Fon:*make out*

Byakuya&Ulquiorra:*be themselves*

Kisuke:All hell broke loose again. Good thing I have a lot of sweets!*cuddles Yoruichi***RainingSun:**

***steps off plane* YAY! WE'RE IN HAWAII!! I've never been there beforee. *looks around* It's so warm here! No snow! Yay! Lol XD**

****

Neko-Nya-chan! Hi! *starts petting Yoruichi in cat-form* Hey, why is it that you're a woman, but when you're a cat your voice is a man's voice? And why didn't you correct Ichigo & group when they called you MR Yoruichi? Personally that would annoy the hell out of me.

Stripey-Hat-chan! OMG.. I knew I forgot to pack something! A Hat! Hmm... *steals Kisuke's hat and puts it on* Hey not bad! Don't worry I'll give it back at the end of the trip. Here's a lollypop ^w^ [Can't think of any super amazing dares, so...] I dare you to propose to Yoruichi. [Yes I know, not much thought behind it but oh well...]

**Well. That's all for now!  
~*| Rain-chan |*~**

Mai:Its very warm!

Addie:I love the heat.

Mai:I think Yoru does that because she loves to fuck around with people!

Yoruichi:Pretty much. I didn't mind them calling me that. I don't care because I know I'm all woman.

Kisuke:*ice cream falls off cone*Aaaaa....

Yoruichi:Getting to hot?

Kisuke:You can borrow my hat Rain-chan. Thanks for the lollipop.*gets down on one knee and takes out ring*I was planning to do this later, but okay. Will you marry me?

Yoruichi:Yes.

Mai:Awww! Thats cute!

Byakuya:Mai, I wanted to do this on the beach.*shunpoes to the beach, where it is suddenly night*Will you marry me?

Mai:Yes! Yes yes yes!

Byakuya:Thank you so much.

Mai:*cries*

Byakuya:Don't cry.

Mai:I am just so happy! **DarkDanteJ:**

**Yoruichi is so HOT and sxy and Kisuke wat the fk is wrong wit you!?!? make a damn move you idiot! she lives with you man! wtf?! anyway i dare Yoruichi to go pimp smack Soi-fon and i dare Kisuke to...give Soi-fon a hug because i think shes crushin on ya and Axel i meant Kick ass and Saix i dare you to throw your claymore at someone in Haiwaii and now i gots to go surf da waves*goes to the hawaiian beacha and surfs while moonwalking on the board* OH YEA ya can't do it like dis xD**

Kisuke:She is so hot. I'm pretty sure proposing is making a move!

Yoruichi:*pimp slaps Soi fon off Grimmjow*

Soi Fon:*starts tearing up*

Kisuke:*hugs her*

Saix:Alright.*throws claymore at Lilo and Stitch*

Addie:Jushiro was wrong. We did find them. Mai should be happy.

Axel:I hittin' the waves too.*goes surfing*

Addie:Oh shit. You're good.

Soi Fon:**lunarprincess21:**

**hi every1, sumimasen, I haven't been on lately -_-'' school exams, o wow hawaii, hope you all have a good time, it's a shame i can't come because MORE EXAMS ARE COMING...ugh my brain is hurting *rubs head*.  
I only hve 2 things 2 say- one, grimmjow that cat is trouble, stick 2 your girl...trust me and 2 yay yoruichi here, I'm a big fan and kinda idolize her and mr hat-and-clogs is coming too...*puts fist up in air*respect man respect.  
anyways I'm gonna lay down cause my head's killing me, have fun in Hawaii, later.**

Mai:Nice to have you back. I hate testing.

Addie:I'm going to have STAR testing soon. I'm not going to be able to update as much then.

Grimmjow:I love Soi Fon. That's why Kisuke is covered in coconuts.

Yoruichi:Thanks.

Kisuke:Thanks too.

Mai:Too bad ya can't come.

Addie:Yeah. I love the beach you guys. The water here is so clear and so beautiful! Lets go snorkeling, Saix!

Saix:Sure!

Mai:Grrr*follows with the intent to ruin*

Axel:*follows with the intent to save them*

Byakuya:*helps Axel*

Kenpachi:Jushiro still hasn't come back. The lucky bastard! Next time Ikkaku and Yumichika because I don't think we've had them yet.


	28. Still in Hawaii

Jushiro:Hello everyone. We are having Q&A on the beach!

Mai:Yup.

Jushiro:What's wrong?

Mai:Nothing*smashes the coconut in her hand*Nothing at all Shiro-chan.

Jushiro:Why are you staring at them like that?

Mai:No reason. *smashes seashells*

Jushiro:Okay.

Ikkaku:**katizo terusei:**

**Charisei: XD darkdante? moonwalk? oh god its the end of the world!  
Katizo: hi Ikka-kun *hugs Ikkaku* k mai-chan you get that. I'm getting the sand shinobi symbol on my hand  
Karahime: TOBI!!*glomps*  
Katizo: DEIDARA, SASORI, KAKAZU, HIDAN! *glomps all 4*  
Charisei: ITACHI!! *glomps*  
Nnoitra: someone help me!  
Katizo: get back in your cage you rapist spoon!!  
Charisei: shame on you!  
Katizo: *sits on Gaara's lap* Gaa-kun the spoon tried to rape me. *dramatic tears* and he said he could beat you and the entire akatsuki with one hand behind his back.  
Charisei: it's true. and he said he could beat ken-ken blindfolded**

Ikkaku:Hi.

Mai:Alright!

Addie:I'm getting that tattoo.

Mai:Are you above the age eighteen?

Addie:No.

Mai:Are you still minor?

Addie:Duh.

Mai:Are you still a virgin?

Addie:*blushes crimson red*Mai you idiot! You are embarrassing me!

Mai:That better be a yes.

*awkward silence*

Jushiro:Soooo, lot of glomping going around. Hehe.*laughing nervously*

Gaara:*huggles Katizo*Spoony bastard rapist. I'll could kill him without even moving a step!

Mai:Cuz the dirt kills for ya.

Pein:He wishes he could kill us! Attack!

Akatsuki:*jump Nnoitra*

Kenpachi:Yay, sure you could Nnoitra. Thats why I'm alive and you only just died. Perfect sense.

Mai:Haha. Are you?!

Addie:Shut up Mai.

Grimmjow:She's like the only one here! Hahaha!

Ikkaku:I could fix that.

Addie:Ew. I don't like baldies.

Yumichika:You wants someone beautiful, Ikkaku! Like me!*scatters rose petals for dramatic effect*

Addie:I'm pretty sure you get hard on guys, Yumichika.

Yumichika:Why would you ever say that?

Addie:You were shaking your ass for Kenpachi.

Yumichika:No denying that.

Kenpachi:I really wish I didn't see that. **Animefan0410:**

**..I think they will be in some better shape, as long as they're able to get out of the hospital, and beable to deal with Yachiru taking over their training. I forgot to tell you, Yachiru did excellent on the obstacle course. The dogs like little girls, so they didn't chase her, and she rode the sharks to the other side, and was smart enough to go over the swinging blades...Hi Ikakku and Yumichika. I see you two are out of section four and now all healthy *smiles as if I never did anything* ..I'm going to a lou (however you spell it) out, who wants to join?**

**..*gags at all the sappy proposals***

Ikkaku:Am I ever glad I got outta there.

Kenpachi:I knew Yachiru was always a little, you know. Of course she made it.

Ikkaku:Bastard.

Yumichika:I could have scarred this beautiful face, ugly cretin!

Mai:Those parties! I wanna go! Its close too! Lets go!

Jushiro:Yeah!

Addie:Yeah, I know. Everyone's getting married off. You guys are all gonna divorce each other.

Mai:Well, you are gonna die alone!

Addie:Thats because you won't let a man near me! You like attack them!

Mai:Not all of them!

Addie:You only leave Hanataro alone.

Mai:Yeah! He wouldn't dare do anything.

Addie:Whatever. **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

***Rides in on a GIANT wave in a bikini* HA! I dare all of you to do his on one foot! *Spots Ikkaku* AH! MY EYES! *Falls***

****

SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY! I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN TO BE LIKE THAT!

*Looks at a picture of Me in receptionist office* Jeez Roy! How can THIS thing get ANY shorter?? It's like, REALLY short! Which reminds me, remind me to call the seemstress later.

Oh and guess what i learned to do while i was all high on medication? *Draws a flame transmutation circle* *Lights tiki torches* HAHA! I'm awesome like that :)

ED: I'm realy sorry!! WIll you please forgive me?? Please, please, please, please? If you do i will go ride that wave *Points to a realy huge wave* for 5 minutes while singing Remedy by seether and standing on 1 hand with... well you can pick who i have to carry while doing this...  
Oh yeah, I like Roy's ego! It's funny, and gets him in funny situations :)

Mystery person: YOU WILL NEVER KNOW MY IDENTITY!

Me: Yes they will, when i'm done with all my apologizing, questons, dares, and testimonials

Mystery person and Shuhei: Testimonials?

Me: Well duh! I have to explain why i acted like that!

AH! *Falls* Ok, WHO THREW THE CRAB??

On to the guests!

Ikkaku: AH! *Hides behind coconut tree* PUT SOME PANTS ON DUDE! NOT A LOIN CLOTH! I'M BLIND!

Ha, i had to do that, since i just got done watching "Bleach on the Beach"

You kick ass! Your a 3rd seat and have a Ban-

Mystery person: DON'T SAY THAT WORD!!

ME: Why?

Mystery person: BAKA! HAVE YOU NOT LISTENED TO HIM! He says everytime he uses "The b word" "don't tell anyone about this" YOU STUPID BAKA!

Me: sheesh, that was harsh

YUMICHIKA! *Glomps* I LOVE YOUR FEATHERS! *Starts poking them* How do you get them on there?? My freinds say it looks like you just got back from Mardi Gras... and they think your gay. BUT I DON'T! atleast, i hope your not O_o

APOLOGIZING TIME!

Akatsuki: I'm sorry! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME

and i guess i have to personally apologize to Sasori and Axel

Sasori: I'm sorry i said all those ugly things about you *Mumbles* even though you are a red headed puppeteer... I apologize, so you get to do 1 thing to me to make up for it

Axel: I'm sorry i made that cat attack you, i'm surprised that you weren't surprised that it could talk.

*Plops down next to Roy* *Puppy dog eyes* You ignored my request, i asked you to fight Ed! *Irresistable Puppy dog eyes* Will you do it now?? Please??

Oh yeah and the Mystery person is brought to you by the number 15 :)

But really, this Mystery person is actually-

Batman: BATMAN!

Me: No, you're not Batman

Mystery person: Dang it.

This person really is-

Mystery person: YO MAMA!

Me: NO! !

Mystery person: Could you say that slower??

Me: *Sigh* They mystery person is really Kyouraku

Kyouraku: Yes, it's me-

Me: You can have him! *Throws Kyouraku* I'm tired his lazy but sitting at my computer and his sake habits!! He followed me home saying that i look like heaven!!

Kyouraku: It really doesn't help now that your wearing a bikini,

**Me: PERVERTED BAKA! YOU CAN HAVE HIM! I'm going to go the luau with Animefan-san...**

Mai:Alrighty!*goes, but falls off*Fuck!

Jushiro:Here goes.*falls*Darn it!

Kenpachi:I can do this easy.*can't even stand on board*

Axel:You guys suck at this!*falls*Aw damn!

Ikkaku:Way to go pro surfer.*tries and falls off*

Addie:....*goes and starts drowning*

Saix:Shit!*goes to save her*

Mai:*yelling from the shore*Stop touching her!!

Saix:*riding on one foot with Addie in his arms*

Axel:He could do it!?

Mai:Not for long!*throws rock*It's okay Sougyo-chan!

Roy:It can be waaaayyy shorter!

Mai:Any shorter and her panties will show!

Roy:Exactly. You are very talented, Souygo.

Ed:It's alright. You don't have to do that if you don't want to.

Roy:It's not your fault he's a midget.

Ikkaku:But my loincloth's comfy!

Mai:Put on shorts! I mean come on! It looks like a thong!*forces shorts on him*

Yumichika:This girl knows true beauty! She is almost as beautiful as me.

Sasori:We forgive you.

Axel:S'okay.

Roy:I thought I did fight Ed. I'll kick his butt again.

Ed:*hides*

Roy:His SHORT butt.

Ed:How you callin' so short you-

Roy:Never learned.*snaps and burns Ed*

Mai:He's Batman?

Addie:No he's.....

All:Kyoraku?!

Jushiro:Shun, what are you doing?

Shunsui:Giving Nanao a break.

Jushiro:Nice to have you here, pal!

Addie:Very unexpected.

Shunsui:Thanks. **LilyGirl101:**

***comes out of the bedroom looking discombobulated and wobbly* Wow, that was so...much...fun! *hugs Shiro-chan*. Did you like your special outfit, Shiro-chan? *grins evilly* I have more, if you want. ;-p *sees something* Shiro-chan, look! They have giant Skulanimals! PLEASE, SHIRO-CHAN?!?!?! Can I have one please? *hugs him* Love you so much! *clings to his arm happily* You're awesome, Shiro-chan! I'm so glad you're mine!**

****

Aw, Ed-chan, I'm sorry! *hugs him* I didn't mean to make you feel bad! C'mon, let's go swimming! :-) I like swimming...and surfing! *hugs him again* Yeah, let's go surfing!

*takes bikini from Zaki-chan* C'mon, Shiro-chan, we ARE in Hawaii! Anyway, Zaki-chan, when we get back, you can choose me a new work uniform, k? :-) *climbs back on his shoulders and continues fixing his hair* I told you I'd help you with this, right? *finishes his hair in record time* Ta-da!

*squee* Oh, my gosh! Bya-nii-chan and Mai-chan are engaged! Yay! *hugs them both* Oh, my gosh, Neko-neko-chan and Hat-guy are engaged! *hugs them both* Oh, my gosh, everyone around me is getting married! Wow! When's Shiro-chan gonna ask me, I wonder...?

OK, dares this time around...*grins evilly* Everyone who is male (but Shiro-chan) parade around shirtless, and see how many girls you can attract. The man with the most women by the end of the day wins a special outfit and two hours alone with the woman of their choice (only women from this Q&A, however)! I dare all the women to do the same thing, only in bikinis, and you get a special outfit and two hours with a GUY of your choice. Shiro-chan, you can choose whether or not I get to participate or not. ;-p Let's go have some fun!

**Signed with love and link,  
Lily-chan *going off to surf with Shiro-chan and Ed-chan***

All:Jushiro!?

Jushiro:*idiotic grin on his face*I sure do wanna see them. I'll buy you all of them, Lily-chan.*buys all*

Mai:I want the turtle!

Jushiro:You don't get the turtle until you leave Saix and Addie alone.

Mai:Over his dead body!*points at Yumichika*

Jushiro:Make her stop being jealous over them please Lily-chan. Love you! I'm even more glad to be yours.

Ed:It's alright! Sheesh, everyone's apologizing too much! Lets go.

Kenpachi:Thanks.

Jushiro:Alright, fine. I like seeing you in that anyway!

Byakuya:Yup. We are.

Mai:I'm very ecstatic about it!

Addie:Big word there Mai.

Kisuke:I love Yoruichi.

Yoruichi:It's about time he asked.

Jushiro:I want to propose, but I'm having trouble finding a ring as beautiful as you.

Mai:Ha! You have to take it off now!*rips off Byakuya's sweater shirt thing*

Byakuya:Vicious!

Kenpachi:I wasn't wearing a shirt.

Jushiro:Neither was I, but nobody gets this but Lily-chan.

Mai:Err! Look at Mr. I'm-all-that!

Jushiro:All that for Lily-chan!

Addie:Fine, but a one piece.

Jushiro:Surfing with you? I'm in heaven.

Yumichika:**RainingSun:**

**Aah, Hawaii is so nice!~ CONGRATULATIONS MAI AND BYAKUYA! AND KISUKE AND YORUICHI! Can I help plan your weddings? *looks with sparkly eyes***

****

Ikkaku-chan, (I don't dare call you Baldy-chan, I don't really want to find out what would happen if I did...) And don't hate me for this question! *Hides behind Izuru* Were you always bald, like from genetics or something, or do you get your head shaved? And, I dare you to go get your head shined.  
Yumi-chan~ Where do you get those eye feathers? And what is that orange-ish thing around your neck? Anyway, I dare you to be deprived of any mirror or reflective surface. And you can't ask anyone about what you look like.

Well, I'm off. Izu-chan told me to meet him at the beach tonight, andd well seeing both Kisuke's and Byakuya's actions... Well, I guess you could say I'm a little excited =D Have fun, minna-san!

**~*| Rain-chan |*~**

Mai:Sure!

Byakuya:No way Mai could do it by herself.

Kisuke:Same for us!

Ikkaku:I shave my head.*goes get his head shined*

Saix:Fucking shit! My eyes!

Addie:Are you alright?

Saix:A little blind, but otherwise fine.

Mai:Ha ha.

Yumichika:I got them in some store. I think you are talking about my scarf. No! Don't take me away from my gorgeous reflection!

Mai:You are getting married! This beach is like good luck! **DarkDanteJ:**

**DanteJ(OC):srry but DDJ couldn't be here today so i'll be filling in...first of all Kisuke can i be your best man? 2nd Mai stop tryin to ruin Saix and Addie's relationship because if you piss her off she could like...Erase you from the story and Byakuya would be pretty pissed...*takes a slingshot and shoots a rock at Ikkaku's head*the sunlight shining off your head makes you so easy to hit and Yumichika why are you so...girly? anyway good chapter and I'd have to say Axel is stronger then Roy because 1 Nobodies have superhuman power such as how Xaldin leap from a Beast's castle to the Castle gate and 2 Saix is my 2nd fav char the first is Axel and the 3nd is Roxas and the 4th is Xemnas cuz he reminds me of Star wars xD**

Mai:Hallo! Haven't seen ya in awhile! Where's he at?

Jushiro:How are we going to distinguish them apart?

Mai:I dunno.

Addie:Actually, by placing myself here I've lost the power to do that.

Mai:I can mess with them all I want!

Saix:*putting flower in Addie's hair*

Mai:*puts crab in his shorts*

Saix:AHHHHHH!*accidently smacks her*

Mai:Ya see?

Ikkaku:Grrrr. Why does everyone have a problem with my head?!

Kenpachi:Beacuse it's shiny and blinds everyone and seriously! Get into some shorts!!

Yumichika:I think I am beautiful this way. Hmph.

Axel:Yeah! I'm number one!

Addie:Saix is my first, then Axel, then Zexion, then Demyx, Roxas and Xemnas at tie for last.

Saix:First, yes!

Addie:Get too excited now.

Saix:*smirks*

Jushiro:Its a tie between Axel and Saix in the shirtless contest.

Mai:Course it is.

Axel:Next girl to be won over will decide who wins! Unless you chicken out Saix.

Saix:As if. Like I'd lose to the likes of you!

Jushiro:Ladies?

Mai:Yoruichi won.

Yoruichi:I don't need the prize. You can have it Mai since you need more than I do.

Mai:Yes! Lets go Byakun!*runs to hotel*

Saix:I won!

Axel:Nooo! I meant the other girl!

Saix:No excuses!*looks at Addie grinning*

Addie:Nothing too bad.....

Saix:*smirks*Don't worry. We should enjoy the time we have without Mai's constant torture.

Addie:Agreed.

Saix:A picnic?

Addie:Sure.

Jushiro:I have to still shop for that ring. Next time Love Aikawa and Rojuro Otoribashi or Rose, as he was commonly referred as.


	29. Bye Bye Hawaii

Jushiro:Hello. Our guests today are Love and Rose. You know the vizards, one with an afro, the latter has long, blonde hair.

Mai&Axel:Love....

Love:Yes?

Axel&Mai:There was something about love that I am supposed to remember....

Mai:That I'm supposed to STOP IT!

Axel:SAVE IT!

Mai:Keep your red head outta this!

Axel:Keep your brown one outta this!

Jushiro:And it starts. **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: *giggles* i told you Charisei! no matter what i do Gaa-kun knows i love him *hugs Gaara*  
Charisei: so. he also knows about you 3rd tattoo i bet  
Karahime: *smirks* Addie! i challenge you to DDR!  
Katizo: BAKA! Dark Vader and Byakuya destroyed it remember!  
Karahime: Damnit!  
Charisei: sougyo-chan your kitteh scares meh.  
Katizo: oh and Nnoitra says sorry.  
Nnoitra: no i don't The GAY! Akatsuki are GAY WIMPY PRICKS!!  
Katizo & Charisei: OH JUST DIE ALREADY!!**

Gaara:Forever Katizo. I will love you forever.

Addie:Oh God. More lovey dovey crap.

Gaara:And your situation doesn't involve love!?

Addie:Not sappy sayings like that at least.

Gaara:Charisei! We aren't to discuss the third tattoo's location around others!

Addie:We have a brand new one, but I suck at dancing.

Mai:You just move! Like this!*grabs Addie and makes her dances*

Addie:Stop Mai! Lets play Karahime....*loses terribly*I told you guys I suck.

Axel:It attacked me! I scream every time I see a white cat!

Kenpachi:I'm on vacation so don't bug me about it.

Akatsuki:*jump Nnoitra again*

Grimmjow:Hello everyone.

Mai:What took you two so long?

Soi Fon:I lost something.

Grimmjow:I got something.

Mai:Oh. **Animefan0410:**

**You 2 are a member of Zaraki's squad, you should have been able to deal with it. And Yumichika, I'M NOT THAT UGLY you weirdo. I do have a dare for you Yumichika *evil smile* I dare you to take out those feathers and put seagull feathers in your hair.**

**I have no idea who the new guests even are. But I do have 2 questions for you Zaraki. How the hell did you get so tall? I'm only 5'9" Also, why exactlydo you like to fight so much?**

Yumichika:I am not weird!

Mai:Yeah you are.

Yumichika:Shut up possessive troll.

Mai:*grabs his feathers and puts a seagull and fish in his hair*

Kenpachi:I drank my milk when I was younger.

Mai:So did J.J. and he looks like he's seven. He's going to be Zaraki-sized!

Jushiro:Why isn't J.J. here?

Mai:He doesn't want to get any darker.

Jushiro:That makes enough sense....

Kenpachi:I love to fight because it's fun.

Mai:You are pretty tall, Animefan-san!

Kenpachi:**HurricaneDiablo** (DarkDanteJ)**:**

**Sup in the chapter after the next my new Pen name will be HurricaneDiablo so thats how you can Distingish me and DanteJ now Charisei don't be hatin on my supa dupa fly sxy surfing moves xD now Ikkaku heres a birthday present*hands him a wig* AND PUT SOME SHORTS ON BEFORE I GLUE EM TO UR ASS! and DanteJ says hi to Mai and others right now he is currently in Hell practicing his bankai with Sephiroth(FFACVII) so his dare for Mai is to let Addie and Saix love each other peacefully for the next 2 chapters...and i dare Grimmjow to wear all pink and dye his hair pink temporaily for the whole chapter ^.^**

Mai:You moonwalked on a surferboard! Thats like extremely difficult on land! How in the hell could you do it on a board!?

Ikkaku:I got some shorts on already.

Mai:Hi Dante! Sephi's with him? Say hi to Sephi. I haven't had any FFVII characters so lets bring some!

Addie:I've never played the games, but I've seen the movies and my cousin played it so I've seen some parts. It's tight.

Mai:Let them love?....... Fine.

Saix:Finally.*grabs Addie by the waist*

Byakuya:Darling, do you need your bite guard?

Mai:*nods yes slowly while grinding teeth*

Byakuya:*pops it into her mouth*

Grimmjow:I'll do my dare without complaints.*dyes hair pink*

All:*jaws drop*

Grimmjow:I am very happy today.....

Mai:IT'S OBVIOUS WHY! ARE ALL OF YOU BLIND?!

Jushiro:What do you mean?

Mai:She lost it to Grimmjow!

Jushiro:Lost what?

Mai:Her fucking virginity!

Jushiro:Ooooohhh! That _is_ obvious when you think about it.

Axel:Painfully obvious. She is banging her head on a coconut tree. **LlyGirl101:**

**Mai-chan...come here. I need to talk to you about Saix and Addie. *sits her dow* Mai-chan, Addie needs to grow. If you keep interfering with her and Saix, I will start interfering with you and Bya-nii-chan. Also, if you keep interfering, she'll end up like...like...like Zaki-chan, all alone, and bitter! *hands on hips* She'll live and die as an old maid, and if she does that, I will personally come back, use my zanpakto, and make you hurt (that's right, bitches, I got a zanpakto, too! And heaven help you if I'm forced to release her!) *gives everyone a glimpse of her sword* So, Mai-chan, unless you want my unrelenting wrath brought down upon you, I suggest you butt out of Addie's business, k?**

****

:-D Did Ed-chan have fun? *hugs him again* I'm sorry for apologizing so much...it's a "complex" of mine. I apologize waay too much. I think I'm related to Ritsu Souhma...he and I kinda have the same problem with apologizing and depression (if you don't know who Ritsu-chan is, look him up)

Dares this time...I dare Jow-chan and Ul-chan to switch girlfriends for a day. Mai-chan, I dare you to stay out of Addie business. If you interfere with her and Saix one more time, I'm gonna use my zanpakto on you! To Bya-nii-chan, I dare you to put on a Hollow mask and terrorize some random town and let yourself get beaten by whatever Shinigami you encounter. Zaki-chan, I dare you to knit a scarf. Shiro-chan, I dare you to say anything and everything that comes to your mind as it comes to mind, no matter how random or inappropriate, or private. :-D Everybody, have fun!

*blushes* Wow, Shiro-chan, you really know how to make a girl feel appreciated! *hugs him and kisses him* You're the awesomest boyfriend a girl could have!...Oh, Shiro-chan, you know how I just mentioned my zanpakto? Well guess what! Mine's twin swords too! :-) I'll tell you her name later...I'm having so much fun here! *sitting with all her Skulanimals* They're so cute! *smiles* Shiro-chan's no good at surfing! Should I teach you, Shiro-chan? I am very good at it! *drags him off to teach him* You know, one of my special outfits is a swimsuit...Shiro-chan, let's go swimming together!

**Signed with love and lessons,  
Lily-chan *teaching Shiro-chan to swim, then going swimming with Shiro-chan, then showing Shiro-chan the rest of the outfits***

Mai:She's so young! Saix has gotta be older than Byakuya! It's not right and against the law! Statutory rape!

Addie:We aren't doing things like that. You automatically assume that.

Mai:I assume right! I was trained to be a detective and I'm detecting some sexual intents from him!

Addie:And still you can't detect how wrong you are! I don't wanna end up like Kenpachi! Alone and trying to fill the void with fighting!

Kenpachi:I'm sitting next to you, you know.

Mai:I guess no one deserves a fate like that...

Kenpachi:I can hear you!

Saix:Exactly. Who wants to die with no one to hold like him?

Kenpachi:I'm right fucking here!

Mai:Yeah. And hey? What's the chance of you two actually marrying?

Addie:Right.

Saix:You never know.

Addie:We do know none of us are going to end like him.*points to Kenpachi*Talking to ourselves and yelling for no reason.

Kenpachi:*puts arms in air*I give up!

Mai:I don't want to start shit with Lily-chan either. She's a fighter fo sho!

Ed:I had a lot of fun.

Ulquiorra:But to put Charisei in _his arms... _I may as well throw a pie in her face! It's an insult!

Grimmjow:I pretty sure Ulquiorra won't be able to keep my woman happy. You have to have a lot of stamina for that.

Mai:Ew.

Grimmjow:Oh yeah. You and prettyboy ain't ever have relations.

Mai:We don't freaking talk about em in the open! Soi Fon, you gotta be pissed about that!

Soi Fon:As long as he isn't describing every little detail step by step, I'm fine with it.

Grimmjow:...And she was like yes! And I was like-

Soi Fon:Grimmjow!*smacks him*I'll be happy to trade for the day!

Mai:I got it already. I will not go near them.

Byakuya:I'm going to mess with that town in the English countryside thats always in peace. Never been any violence.

Jushiro:Why?

Byakuya:They've had it too good for too long...*puts on mask and terrorizes town*Damn it! I had to let the afro guy beat me.

Kenpachi:Why not? I'm already old and alone!*knits a scarf*

Jushiro:Kenpachi's a big baby!

Mai:That isn't nice, but is so true.

Jushiro:She said to say anything and everything.

Mai:Good job then.

Jushiro:I didn't use a condom last time!

Mai:Well....

Jushiro:I love you Lily-chan! It's nice we both have twin swords.

Mai:Can I have a turtle skulanimal? I promise I'll be good.*puppy dog eyes with sparkly eyes*

Jushiro:I'm actually pretty good, but when I see you in a bikini, I lose focus! I love your special outfits!

Mai:How do we know when you are speaking you thoughts and saying what you need to say?

Jushiro:For this chapter every time it has an exclamation mark it is a thought. If it doesn't it is what I would normally say.

Mai:Okay.

Ulquiorra:No. Get off me Soi Fon. You can do those things when Grimmjow is with you.

Soi Fon:Come on!

Ulquiorra:No. Charisei is the only woman that is allowed to be affectionate with me.

Soi Fon:Aggh! You are boring!

Grimmjow:Stop slutting around!

Soi Fon:I see you 'accidently' putting your ass in her hands!

Grimmjow:Aw baby, you know you're the only one for me.

Ulquiorra:I am sure Charisei does not like your ass.

Mai:Enough! Ulquiorra, you never told us about your date with Orihime.

Ulquiorra:It was terrible. First she made disgusting food. Then she insisted I eat it. She spilled it all over me! What a klutz! Thats why I only love my Charisei.

Jushiro:Chocolate!

Mai:I want chocolate...

Byakuya:I want some too.

Jushiro:Hershey's or-

Mai:Hershey's of course! Is there really any other kind?

Jushiro:True.

Mai:Hey! Saix- nevermind.... Ugh. This is getting difficult.

Addie:It's not like we are doing Grimmjow-rated things. We are just hugging. Honestly. **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

***Hula-ing* *Turns around* SWEET MOTHER MARY! I forgot you guys were there, Luau's are fun! I dare all the men to hula in a hula outfit!! Coconut bra and grass skirt!!**

**THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! He was a very pesky house guest. Always leaving his sake bottle around, no wonder Nanao is so, um what's the word? Oh yeah, UPTIGHT!!**

**Don't worry peoples! Only reason i could ride that wave was because i put suction cups on my feet like a little octopus :)) Except i don't have 8 feet, i have 2...**

**Hehe, i finally got Shuhei to leave!! Actually, he found some of Kyouraku's sake, got drunk and i drug him back to 9th squad barracks... Are any of you good house cleaners? i need someone to clean every room in my house. Since SOMEONE *Glares at Kyouraku* WAS TO LAZY TO CLEAN UP AFTER THEMSELVES!!**

**Roy: *Blushing like a tomatoe* Jeez! Makes me want to wear pants... Thanks for calling me talented!!*Hugs* But i have a question for you, If you were starnded on an island without your glove, in the middle of the ocean, and you had a cell phone with one call left on it, who would you call for help? (I wanna see how smart you are) :)**

**Ed: I wanna ride that wave!! **  
**a.) I LOVE surfing**  
**B.) I love that song**  
**c.) It looks fn, **  
**need any more reasons?? and don't worry, your not a midget, your... well i can't find a word. Oh, FUN-SIZED!! or vertically challenged as my friends like to call you.**

**NO one takes away Chika-san's feathers and his rights to ask about his appearence and gets away with it!! *Hands him a mirror and his feathers back* Hmph, *Plucks sea gull feathers out of his hair* these things are ugly, they don't deserve your presence.**

**Ikkaku: It's fun making fun of your head! It's always so shiny! I read a fanfiction saying your the one who made Tousen blind, it was funny!**

***Starts playin on flame, off flame* This is fun :) Who invented this game??**

**hm *Looks at everyone* I'm feeling fighty today, who wants to fight me?? **

**Before i forget, EVIL KITTEH IS GONE! Finally, damn thing was annoying. DON't ask how i got it outta here. IT WAS HARD.**

**I Dare Jushiro to buy Mai a turtle! A really BIG ONE! and you HAVE to do it without any conditions!**

**Addie: Conservative aren't we? a One piece? don't you have some one to woo? *Elbow bump* Hmm??**

**Guest time!**

**Aren't you two those vizard dudes? Doesn't Rose's zanpakuto lok like a rosey viney thingy and Love's look like a REALLY big spikey clubish thing-a-ma-bobber? (I love that word XD)**

**How long are we staying in Hawaii?? I think i've turned into a potatoe chip from staying so long! Although it'll just turn into a tan,**

**Roy?? Can you go get me a ice pack?? Pweaty pweaty pwease?? *Puppy dog eyes like puss in boots* **

***Spots another Luau* I'm gone! Who wants to come with me??**

'Men':*dress in hula skirts and start dancing*

Mai:Your bra is slipping sweetheart! Don't wanna expose anything do you?

Byakuya:*blushes*

Mai:Haha!

Jushiro:Why is men in ' '?

Addie:Because wearing a coconut bra is so manly.

Mai:Oh thats how! I should try that.

Byakuya:You would drown. I am surprised enough that you haven't.

Mai:Ya kicked Shuhei out too?

Shuhei:Yea. I am ready to hula like there's no tomorrow now!

Mai:But we are leaving right now!*has suitcase*

Shuhei:Damn!

Roy:I would call the coast guard I guess.

Mai:You don't know the coast guard's number!

Jushiro:The Navy seals!

Ed:Go ahead and ride it then. And thanks for calling me fun-sized?

Mai:Its a compliment.

Ed:I kinda got that!

Mai:Nu-uh! You said it as a question!

Ed:Whatever!

Yumichika:You sure know true beauty, Sougyo-chan!

Mai:I think I read that fic! I don't remember the rest though.

Axel:*staring intently at the flames*On flame. Off flame. On flame. I did!

Mai:You are going to set someone on fire again! Usually it's just Saix, but now I have to _care_ and _keep him from gettting hurt_.

Axel:I can do this without setting anyone on fire!*accidently sets Saix on fire*

Saix:WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY ME?!

Axel:I dunno. You happen to combust easily.

Jushiro:I wanna know how Saix stays so pale after being in the beach for three days and being set on fire numerous of times!

Saix:Was that-

Jushiro:Yes! It was one of my random thoughts!

Saix:Sun block and tough skin I guess...

Jushiro:Cool!

Kenpachi:I do!*takes out zanpakuto and goes off to fight Sougyo*

Mai:Be back before we leave or your ass is walking home!

Axel:Thank God it's gone.

Jushiro:Alright.

Mai:I want that one!

Jushiro:Mai, he is not for sale.

Mai:But I want it! He can talk!*pointing at the talking turtle from Dragon Ball Z*

Jushiro:You want a Skelanimal.

Mai:Okay!*hugs turtle skelanimal*But he's tiny!

Jushiro:Mai. He is the size of a door. He is almost taller than Kenpachi.

Mai:Fine. Thank you Shiro-kun and Sougyo-chan.

Addie:I don't want to seem trashy... Anyway, I don't want to be showing everyone....

Saix:I am kind of glad about it. At least I know she won't strutting her stuff for other men.

Mai:Yeah. She's never been that kind of person. I think that's how Love's zanpakuto looks like.

Love:Yup.

Mai:And Rose?

Rose:Mhm.

Mai:We are preparing to leave.

Roy:Well.*looks around*Okay! I can't say no to that face!*gives you ice pack***lunarprincess21:**

**oh my goodness congratz mai and byanyan and kisuke and yoruichi san, i was wonderin if i could be the flower girl in you wedding mai i would wear a pretty dress of your colour from david's bridal and i'll do anything to help...and Ikkaku..everybody disses about your head because it's a problem to society I'm sorry but it's tru but always have respect 4 u ^_^.**

Mai:Thank you! The flower girl? Alright!

Yachiru:But I'm the flower girl!

Byakuya:Uh-oh.

Mai:Byakuya! You never told me you made such a decision!

Byakuya:It seemed unimportant.

Mai:No it was important! Now I have to rearrange my plans! I thought we were going to give each our okays on each choice!

Byakuya:Sorry!

Mai:Alright. We'll figure something out.

Ikkaku:Exactly! Wanna come with me as my date?

Mai:Respect Ikkaku. It was only respect.

Ikkaku:Whatever. I know there is some for me that is not Yumichika. I don't know why people us together.

Mai:Oh yeah! Did I ever describe the first Byakuya yaoi I read?

All:No.

Mai:Well, it was a Jushiro/Byakuya. Byakuya was in his academy days and in the end Shiro-chan ends up sucking his dick. Because he's a pedophile.

Jushiro:No! I would never do that!

Byakuya:I want you to do that Mai! Why don't you do that!?

Addie:Because if she did, we would have to bump the rating up to M.

Saix:You always have a genius response. **DancingInTheRain03:**

**This was really really funny! The first chapter made me laugh... Awesome! I can't wait to continue reading. You really have a way with words :)**

Addie:Thanks. That means a lot to us.

Byakuya:**RainingSun:**

**OMGOMGOMG!~ *jumping up and down everywhere screaming* !**  
**Izuru: Umm, maybe I should tell you since Rain-chan's a -little- too excited to speak properly.**  
**Me: !**  
**Izuru: *shakes head while laughing* Okay. Here, Rain-chan, lift up your hand.**  
**Me: *stops jumping momentarily to show hand with ring on left ring finger* ? *resumes jumping***  
**Izuru: I guess you get my point. ^w^ Umm, well since she *points to me* won't be much help here I should probably write this review for her. Anyway, what Rain-chan wanted to tell you is, you're ALL -including reviewers and guests* invited to a Specialific Party to celebrate all these engagements. Guests of Honour are Mai & Byakuya, Yoruichi & Kisuke. Everyone else is also invited! You may bring a date if you like, but it's not obligatory.**  
**Me: *still jumping***  
**Izuru: *looks at me* Wow, she's got energy. It's amazing what effects a proposal can have on people. **

**Izuru: As for dares, well, we dare EVERYONE to have a surfing contest! The prize is *hands Exclusive Special Banquet&Hotel For Two tickets* Winner can choose who to take. *wink* **  
**And, Addie, Saix, Mai, and Byakuya need to go to Kenny's therapy for a Group Couples counselling session. (I think you know why.)**  
**Hey Love, Rose! Gomen, we can't think of any dares/questions for you.. So umm, how are you liking Hawaii?**

**Me: *still jumping* *jumps into wall* *falls down***  
**Izuru: Umm... Rain-chan? *kisses me***  
**Me: *sits up abruptly* OHAI! I'm okay now! *is still a little hyper* What did I miss? Hey who's that? Can we get a dog? I love you...**  
**Izuru: *laughs* It appears you're fine. Well, fine in the sense of just as crazy as you were before. But I love you too. *smile* Anyway! We'll be off, and everyone enjoy Hawaii, and we'll look forward to seeing you at the Engagement Celebration Party! *wink***

**~*| Izuru and Rain-chan |*~**

Mai:Congratulations!

Byakuya:This presents us with a very big problem. Everyone is getting married at the same time. At least we are doing a joint engagement party, but I really don't want to share our wedding day Mai!

Mai:We'll just have it on a different day, honey.

Byakuya:But they are all so close together.

Mai:Don't worry!*gets on surfboard*

Byakuya:Come back here! We need to talk about this!*follows*

Axel:I can win!*gets board*

Kenpachi:*still trying to stand*

Ikkaku:*drowns*

Yumichika:*won't go to far into the water because of his hair*

Addie:I'm not good though! I'm going to end up like Ikkaku!

Saix:I'll be with you.

Addie:Alright then.*hesitantly gets on with Saix*

Jushiro:Wait for me!*rides wave*

Roy:I'll beat that flamey wannabe!

Ed:I'm feeling kind of tired.*yawns and accidently swallows a fish*Eww!

Addie:Ugh! I can't believe we were the first to lose! I'm sorry Saix!

Saix:Meh! Who gives?*hugs her*

Byakuya:Mai! You are going to fall off!

Mai:*falls off board*Shit.

Addie:It seems Jushiro is our winner.

Jushiro:Perfect! I will take Lily-chan of course!

Addie:Why should we go to counseling when Mai is the one with the problem?

Kenpachi:Tomorrow afternoon then?

Addie:Yes.

Love:It's a nice change from the everyday views in Karakura.

Rose:Yeah. Really nice.

Mai:Can't wait to see you guys!

Addie:It's time to head off everyone.

Jushiro:I will kind of miss this place.*points to spot on the beach*Thats where I was unconscious when I almost drowned with Lily-chan. *points to another spot*And thats where I got hit over the head with a coconut and lay unconscious. And that..*points*Thats where I am proposing to Lily-chan. Lily, will you marry me?

Mai:*squeals*

Addie:You are killing the moment, Mai!

Mai:Now we have to wait in anticipation for her response!

Addie:Take us to the airport.

Mai:I'm doing it already miss impatient!*teleport to airport*

All:*get on plane*

Addie:I feel like we are forgetting something....

Mai:What?

Kenpachi:ME!*runs into plane*

Mai:Okay,*takes out check list* Kenny Penny panting, Shiro-kun daydreaming, Ikkaku drinking-

Ikkaku:More sake please!

Mai:-Yumichika fixing his hair, Byakuya glaring at me, why are you glaring at me?, Ulqui sulking in a corner, Grimmy and Soi are in the bathroom of course, Axel playing his flame game, stop that right now-

Axel:Fine. I AM THE FIRE KING!

Roy:NO YOU ARE NOT!

Mai:Roy is fighting with Axel, Ed is throwing away his milk, and Addie and Saix are cuddling. Isn't. That. Cute.*breaks pencils on check list*

Pilot:Are we ready to head off?

Mai:Go for it. Axel thought I told you to stop that!

Axel:Why?

Saix:AHHH! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Mai:Thats why!*puts the flames on him out*

Saix:HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS KEEPING HAPPENING!? I'M NOT EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO YOU!*Axel sitting all the way in the back, Saix in the front*

Axel:I dunno.

Addie:*paralyzes Axel*Yeah, I've got a few powers of my own.

Mai:No more flames or I'll break your fingers. Roy! Stop touching Edward!

Roy:I'm not touching him!

Mai:Stop not touching him!

Roy:Okay.*pokes him*

Mai:Stop it immediately.

Roy:Y-yes ma'am.

Mai:Shiro-kun, finish the chapter will ya?

Jushiro:*dreamily*Next time we will be back in our beloved Californian home, the Gold Rush state. Our guests are Sephiroth, Vincent Valentine, and Cloud Strife. The engagement party will be the chapter after so we can rejuvenate and relax and unpack to better prepare ourselves. Bye bye Hawaii.


	30. Home Sweet Home

Jushiro:*yawns loudly*Sorry! We are back home with our guests Cloud, Sephiroth, and Vincent.

Cloud:Hi.

Sephiroth:Hello.*smiles suspiciously*

Mai:What's wrong with your face, Sephi?

Vincent:......

Mai:Say hi!

Vincent:Can we just say I did?

Addie:Works for me.

Vincent:**katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: * kisses Gaara* your just the sweetest!  
Charisei: gag me  
Karahime: okay  
Charisei: just kidding  
Karahime: damn  
Katizo: *points at Zetsu* quit eating my puppies!  
Charisei: ITACHI!!*glomps*  
Karahime: and were back to that. fine, TOBI! *glomps*  
Katizo: DEIDARA! SASORI! HIDAN! KAKAZU! *glomps*  
Nnoitra: haha you gays can never kill me  
Katizo: DAMNIT SZAYEL QUIT BRINGING HIM BACK TO LIFE!  
Szayel: but i have to i love him  
all:...wtf?**

Gaara:Well, its easy to be sweet when you have a wonderful woman on your arm.

J.J.:Hi everyone! I'm back from.... the park. Yeah, the park.

Jushiro:You sound suspicious.

J.J.:I only went to the park! I didn't go anywhere else!

Akatsuki:*jump him again*

All:.....

Mai&Addie:The fuck?

Addie:It takes all kinds I guess.

Mai:I always knew they were fuck buddies, but not lovers!

Addie:I thought they were friends with benefits.

Mai:Like you and.... *nods at Saix*ya know!

Addie:No. We are in a relationship.

Sephiroth:**LilyGirl101:**

***unpacking all her stuff* Wow, Hawaii was so much fun! I went surging and swimming with Shiro-chan, and I went out to eat with Shiro-chan, and I swam with Ed-chan...and I showed Shiro-chan all his special outfits *stares off dreamily* This was the best vacation I've ever had in my entire life! And it's all because of all these wonderful people! *hgus them all***

****

Yay! Mai-chan is letting Addie be! *puts away zanpakto* Now, you'll be a good girl, won't you, Mai-chan? *pets her head and grins evilly* Anyway, Mai-chan, what part will I play in your wedding? *jumps up and down* Tell me please! Please!

Ah, Bya-nii-chan, just because everyone is getting ENGAGED at the same time doesn't mean that they're all getting MARRIED at the same time! Silly, silly Byakuya-Boy...*ruffles his hair*

Dares this time...I dare Bya-nii-chan to dress as a woman for a day, call himself "Tami", and see if anyone recognizes him! For every person who recognizes you, you get a piece of chocolate! I dare Jow-chan to sit in a the lions' exhibit at the zoo for an hour. I dare Ul-chan to stop being emo. I dare the Nobodies to have a dance-off. I dare Shiro-chan to dye his hair black (I heard his hair was black before he got very sick, and I want to know what he looked like!) I dare Zaki-chan to finally get me a NEW WORK UNIFORM! I can't go to work naked you know! Geez! Anyway, that's all the dares for right now...

YAY! I get to go to a party with Shiro-chan! *hops up and down* So excited! You can pick my dress, OK, Shiro-chan? *laughs at Shiro's second random thought*Wait...what? *reads it again* I'm not even touching that...  
...Wow, Shiro-chan! You fell unconscious a lot during this trip, huh? *giggle* It was kind of hard to resuscitate you when you almost drowned...and you slept for so long afterwards! But I don't mind! *hugs him* You're so cute when you sleep (not to mention, you are so much more PERVERTED; I think you have another personality that comes out when you sleep...). And I'm sorry about throwing that coconut! X-D I was aiming for Baldy-chan! I wanted to see if his head was as hard as it looks! And remember the time that that shark...oh, never mind. No one else needs to hear that story...Anyway...

*reads last sentence again...and again...and again...and once more, reads the last sentence*...oh, my...

*gasps* Oh. My. Gosh. Did Shiro-chan just...PROPOSE TO ME? Shiro-chan...*starts crying* Shiro-chan just...he just propo...*still crying* OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU, SHIRO-CHAN!! *hugs him and kisses him and hugs him again, still crying* I love you, Jushiro U-ki-ta-ke (weird habit of mine, by the way, spacing out people's names when I'm excited)! *hugs him* Oh, my god! This is amazing! *cuddles him* Love you so much, Shiro-chan...

**Signed with love and even more love,  
Lily-chan *still crying***

Mai:Glad to hear it. You are the maid of honor.

Byakuya:Sorry. I just everything to be right.*dress like a woman*Call me Tami!

Mai:Okay....

Mai's mom:Now Mai, why is that man dressed as a woman?

Mai:I don't know anymore.

Mai's mom:And you still wanna go through with marriage?

Mai:Yeah. I'm pretty sure this is the only time he'll be doing this. Bya- err I mean Tami, you get a chocolate!

Tami:Yay... I think I'll go somewhere else for the day.

Grimmjow:Okay Lily-chan.*goes to zoo*

Ulquiorra:Okay! I can not be emo! Yay for me!*claps like London Tipton*

J.J.:Dance off! Dance off! Vinnie, chant with me.

Vincent:I don't think so.

J.J.:You need to stop being boring.

Vincent:Dance off.

Axel:*does a lot of backflips*

Saix:*airflares*

Axel:*windmills*

Saix:*moonwalks*

Axel:Dammit! Pulled out Michael Jackson moves! Can't beat that! Just can't!

Addie:Great. He's a good dancer too.

Jushiro:*dyes his hair*

Mai:I like it better white!

Kenpachi:Ya can go naked. Haha.

Jushiro:HAHAHA! No.

Kenpachi:Erm... how about-

Jushiro:This!*holds up long skirt and other conservative clothing*

Kenpachi:That's boring! Like that vampire guy.*points at Vincent*

Vincent:I'm not a vampire.

Mai:You came out of a fucking coffin, have red eyes, pale skin, don't age, and have sharp teeth! You are!

Addie:We have pointy fangs too, Mai.

Mai:Maybe we are vampires too.

Addie:I don't think so...

Kenpachi:I don't know what you should wear. Well, this looks hot. A purple corset and black mini skirt.

Jushiro:She'll wear something even better at the party! Pssst! Lily-chan, can you pick because I have no clue on what to do on that! Oh it's my fault I was knocked out! I should have seen the coconut coming. Yes! You really do want to marry me! Yes! Haha! Yes! I love you so much! So much!

Addie:Congrats. Saix, I'm getting tired of saying congratulations.

Saix:Wait until the weddings and then all the money we are going to spend on gifts.

Addie:I know right! Ugh. I'm happy for all of you, really.

Sephiroth:Sounds like this place is going to be hit with a barrage of parties.

Mai's Mom:Hell no! My daughter isn't going to married to a rich guy so _I _can pay or have the party here.

Mai:Ma! My parents have to pay!

Mai's mom:That's old school! This is the 21st century!

Mai:Ma, you are lucky Byakuya isn't here to hear you!

Cloud:Sounds like you're only after his money.

Mai:No I'm not! I love him! I love him! Anyway that says otherwise is going to get their lips ripped off!

Cloud:Okay. Calm down. **HurricaneDiablo:**

**DanteJ:hey HurricaneDiablo is um...busy at the moment so i'll be filling in and...HI Sephiroth so remember don't take my food again or*shows 1/3 of the zanpaktou's blade*you'll be missing some body parts and cloud you remind me of ichigo always lugging around a huge ass sword and Byakuya can i be your best man? i mean seriously i can always make sure nothing bad happens...atleast you won't "Notice" any bad things happening and i will teach you guys how to surf but the reason i can do that move is because i'm part DemiGod so i can do the impossible and look awesome while doing it and Axel how would you like if i lit YOU on fire? hmm? and Soifon i didn't know you were a Virgin...you actually looked "Desirable" to a point except that fact that you aren't Bi and somewhat uncomfortable to be around(only Omaeda since he his always getting kicked in the family jewels by you)Anyway who wants to see my Zanpaktou!?!? and a dare for Mai and Byakuya i dare the both of you too...to fight Sephiroth and Cloud(Team work) and Vincent why dont you have a shotgun? and Zaraki don't worry you could always turn gay and date yumichika or turn pedo and rape some unsuspecting child on the outskirts of the soul soceity Any way have fun with my oh so crappy and uncreative dare ^.^**

Mai:Busy? With what?

Jushiro:Didn't you two have a argument about making decision?

Mai:Yeah, so he owes me.

Sephiroth:I can just steal their food.*turns to fridge, but sees Mai's dad guarding it with shotgun and runs to living room*Never mind.

Mai's dad:You freaks aren't eating up my food! I paid for my food.

Mai:Hi dad!

Mai's dad:Keep away form the kitchen.

Mai:K. Ichigo is really like Cloud huh? Twins! You can be our best man Dante J.

Addie:I'm the worst at surfing.

Axel:I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like it.

Soi Fon:I was. And thank you.

Mai:I wanna see your sword!

Byakuya:I will get out of this dress to fight temporarily then.

Mai:Yea! Fight! Byaku-boo, you handle Cloud because he looks like Ichigo.

Byakuya:Can I break bones?

Mai:Would it really be a fight with a few?

Byakuya:*smirks*Right.

Sephiroth:Very intimidating. Am I supposed to be scared of a brat like you?

Mai:Not now.*teleports the four to an open field far from people**kicks Sephiroth in the stomach*

Sephiroth:Oomph. That actually hurt.*rubs stomach and smiling*

_He grabbed Mai's leg and twirled her around like a doll, repeatedly slamming her into a boulder every few spins. Mai retaliated with roundhouse kick in his face. He gives a psychotic smirk after which drops her. Mai draws out her sword. Metal clashed against metal. Cloud and Byakuya stop for a bit to watch. It wasn't everyday you get a front row seat to this. Unless you are in Squad 11, then you see this shit every-_

Mai:Hey! Stick to the story!

Addie:But I'm not good with seriousness! I subconsciously switch to comedy.

_Errr, where were we?_

Sephiroth:We pulled out our swords.

_Thanks. At least someone's useful. Sephiroth stabbed at Mai, who appeared to be dancing as she dodged. A familiar bloodthirsty smile tugged at her lips as she drew blood. _Ahhh! _There was a scream in the neighboring fight. It belonged to her lover. As Mai ran to his side, Sephiroth took advantage of the momentary opening. With a quiet whimper, Mai slid off the sword that gouged her and fell to the ground a few hundred feet below. Sephiroth's smirk turned into a grin as he prepared to finish off Byakuya. Hey, they can't die! Mai's the co-host! The co-host-_

Sephiroth:*rolls his eyes*Are you going to be doing this a lot? Because we-

_It's very rude to interrupt! Sephiroth raised his blade to deliver the finishing blow. He would provide the same treatment for Cloud... Until of course, Mai miraculously manages to stand and deeply slash him. Sephiroth eyes widened a bit with pain and shock,"How is this not a surprise?"_

_Mai responded,"I'm the heroine of this show! Not only that I can regenerate. But enough formalities." She whipped out her sword. "Consume in darkness. Bend reality by my will, Kuraiki."She summoned her zanpakuto, two long, curved kunai attached by a chain. She threw one of said kunai at Cloud, who blocked it easily enough with his blade. The chain wrapped around it and Mai pulled a startled Cloud towards her. She then continued with a stab in his abdomen. He fell towards the ground as Mai had. Byakuya used Senbonzakura to ambush Sephiroth and Mai finished the job with its serrated blade penetrating his face. The end!_

Mai:Team ByakuMai wins.*teleports four back to house*J.J. put up the healing barrier.

J.J.:Hai.

Jushiro:Mai-chan, why so serious right now? You aren't your regular upbeat self.

J.J.:Don't talk to her right now. She'll kill you.

Ulquiorra:What is this thing? I feel so filled with energy now!

Cloud:My wounds are gone.

Sephiroth:Mine too. Thats odd.

Vincent:I don't have a shot gun because it isn't really my style.

Mai:But shot guns are cool!

All:*sigh in relief*

Jushiro:You are back to yourself. That's good!

Mai:No! Don't say that Dante J! We might have the human version of Cat in the Hat! A gay pedo!

Kenpachi:At least I have smoking hot girls working for me! And a good working guy.

Mai:M'k! **RainingSun:**

***Waves out window* Bye, Hawaii-chan! We'll miss you! (I have a habit of calling inanimate things -chan XD I know, I'm weird that way)**

****

CONGRATULATIONS LILY-CHAN AND JUSHIRO! *squeals* Finally! XD You are now also Guests of Honour at the Party!~ Wow, this party will be crowded. Oh well, the more the merrier! (As long as the Cat in the Hat doesn't show up like at Dante's party... That was bad... *pushes buttons on wall panel* AHA! The mansion is now Cat in the Hat-proofed! Muahaha D)

Thank you! I'm so excited too! Oh, and Byaku-chan, don't worry about the wedding days, we can arrange those on different days so they won't interfere with one another and so we can all be at each others' weddings! :3 Oh, and Mai and Byakuya, we have an offer for you. Would you two like to be the Maid of Honour and the Best Man at Izuru's and my wedding? *looks with sparkly puppy eyes*

Izuru: Hey, speaking of sparkly puppy eyes, remember last chapter when you asked if we could get a dog?  
Me: Wha...?  
Izuru: Oh right, I guess you were stil a little hyper. Well then, DO you want a dog?  
Me: *nods eagerly*  
Izuru: ...SURPRISE! *out jumps adorable little puppy and starts licking me furiously*  
Me: AW!~ It's so cuute! *looks into puppy's eyes* What should we name you?  
Izuru: You're right, what should we name her? Wait, I have an idea! *runs to computer*  
Me:...Suree...?  
Izuru: *prints out flyer* Tah-daah!  
"New Contest! Rain & Izuru have a new puppy but they can't figure out what to name her! Submit your name ideas, and we will pick the best one! If it helps, here is some info. about the puppy. Age- 7 weeks old, Gender- female, Breed- Pug, Coat- Fawn (look it up if you don't know). Limit one entry per person."  
Me: Ooh, a contest! I like it! *grin* Well, let's see what we come up with, shall we?  
Izuru: Okay! *posts flyers* Until next time! Au revoir!

**~*| Rain-chan & Izuru |*~**

Jushiro:Thank you Rain-chan.

Mai:While you're at it, Smurf and teletubby-proof it too.

Tami(Byakuya):Lets space the dates a few weeks apart.

Mai:Tami, is that really necess- Oh God! I just can't talk to you while you're dressed like that!

Tami:I hate this dare. We would love to be your best man and maid of honor.

Mai:I don't really like pugs. How about Wrinkly?

Tami:Akira.

Jushiro:Fawn.

J.J.:How about Bella Swan? They are both at the same level of uselessness.

Mai:True.

Jushiro:She said only one name.

Mai:I was just agreeing with him.

Jushiro:Oh.

Sephiroth:Sephiroth Jr.

Jushiro:It's a girl.

Sephiroth:Sephirena.

Mai:Not much better.

Cloud:Aurora.

Vincent:Princess!!

All:.....*eyes wide*

Vincent:I just needed to burn off some happiness and energy.

Kenpachi:Josie.

Axel:Axel.

Mai:I named my puppy Axel, but theirs is a girl.

Axel:Axel.

Mai:It's a girl.

Axel:Axel.

Mai:Fine!

Saix:Carmela.

Ulquiorra:Minna. Its German for love.

Mai:Hey Shiro-kun, I didn't Izuru was Italian.

Jushiro:Me either.

Saix:It's french. **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

***Sitting in a tub of ice* the ice pack didn't work, Hawaii hurts, ALOT.**

**I wanna test something! *pops up in front of Saix* *Satrts playing on flame, off flame* It doesn- *Saix busts into flames* IT DOES WORK! You really are combustable.**

**KEN-CHAN!! That hurt! You're fast when you fight! Did you have to take off your eye-patch though?**

**Yes, i did kick Shuhei out. Good luck with him though... He's very picky about everything...**

**I've got a question for everyone! Did you happen to notice the camara in the corner of the room? i never noticed it until now...**

**S-s-s-s-s-se-phiroth is g-g-going to be here? I-i-i-isn't that just peachy. He scares me, ALOT. In all my years of trying to beat him on KH2, He always beats me in the first 3 seconds...**

**Cloud reminds me of Ichigo. They're both always carrying a large sword around. **

**only thing i know about Vincent is that he has black hair.**

**Chika-san! thanks for the compliment! you left your yellow feather in Hawaii though.**

**i'm not really all that talkative today... But i think my head is gonna explode from all the children, and marraiges O_o**

**And could someone PLEASE expalin to me WHY a mountain of candy in my front yard when i got home? It's still bugging me.**

**oh yeah, what is a skelanimal? i don't have a clue what they are...**

**Excuse me while i go back to my tub of ice...**

Mai:Should have put on sun block.

Saix:SHIT! WHY?!

Addie:*puts out flames with powers*My poor Saix, I am making you fire proof!*fire proofs Saix*

Kenpachi:Heh heh. Sorry. I didn't take it off. I didn't want to kill my hot receptionist .

Shuhei:I am not! I don't like this water, Mai. It tastes funny.

Mai:Your teeth are going to taste funny too.

Shuhei:How do you know?

Mai:I don't, but you will.

Jushiro:There's a camera?

Mai:Yeah... how did it get there?

Jushiro:*shrugs*

Sephiroth:*evil chuckles*Don't be scared. Haha.

Mai:Block a lot and use magic to beat him. Or something like that. I don't remember.

Ichigo:*comes in running*Mai, Byakuya is dressed like a women!

Grimmjow:And this is shocking why?

Ichigo:Yeah.. We all kinda saw this coming.

Mai:Shut up! Thats my fiance!*chokes him with chain*

Cloud:I am guessing you are Ichigo. We do look a lot a like.

Addie:Vinnie has pretty, long black hair!

Vincent:Thank you Addie.

Addie:Your welcome.

Yumichika:I guess I'll need to buy a new one.

Addie:I'm pretty sure there aren't going to be anymore children or marriages.

Mai:Shiro-kun, did you leave that candy there?

Jushiro:I had too much!

Addie:A skelanimal is a stuffed animal and has skeletal pattern on it.

Mai:Hope you get better.

Jushiro:**Animefan0410:**

**..I would have replied sooner, but I was busy today lol**

**.,And this thread is filled with to much sappness lol...And Kenpachi, if you want I can set you up with someone, she's bloodthirsty, loves to fight, insane just like you, and sexy as hell**

Mai:I'm just glad you did!

Addie:Give a week or two. Things should revert to normal.

Kenpachi:Sounds interesting. I think I would like that. **lunarprincess21:**

**i have a suggestion of how we can fix this yachiru-chan, where I'm from there's always a candy girl at weddings, they're really cute with their basket full of diffrent candies but it's mostly mints because adults are there and don't worry if you eat all out the basket there's always extra in the back...and ikkaku just like what mai said it was ONLY respect...i would love to go out with u BUT and this is gonna sound weird to yall but I'm going to explain it soon *blushes like a girl* -_-'' don't kno how this blush got here but...I'm going with Kaien.  
Now here's the semi-long story: Me and my cousin both have zanpaktous and his bankai *yes bankai*'s ability is to bring back the dead*weird isn't it?* so for my birthday he asked me who i wanted to come back and out of the blue i said "Kaien" and lo and behold he came and i was screaming like a fangirl for a whole week.  
I'm sorry Ikkaku san but don't worry there's someone out there for you, just be patient and i hope i'm not imposing but i was wondering if i could sing at the engagement party i have a good voice and there's a song from one anime that is good for the occasion it's called "Shiawase Negai Kanata Kara" just in case if you all would like to listen to it in advance, arigatou and see you at the party.**

Mai:Okay. You are the flower girl. Yachiru is the candy girl.

Addie:But Kaien is dead and married to that one chic.

Ikkaku:Oh well.

Mai:Sure you can sing at the wedding.

Yachiru:I'm a candy girl! Hooray!

Mai:We are having Mexican candy.

Grimmjow:Mexican candy is cheap though.

Mai:You're cheap!

Grimmjow:No contesting that.

Ichigo:Your sword is big.

Cloud:Your sword is big too.

Ichigo:Your hair is weird.

Cloud:You're not one to talk.

Mai:Twins! Everyone find a twin!

Ichigo:Cloud.

Cloud:Ichigo.

Ulquiorra:L from Death Note.

Jushiro:Ummm. Sephiroth!

Sephiroth:Jushiro.

Kenpachi:Xigbar from Kingdom Hearts.

Grimmjow:Gamma from Zombiepowder.

Vincent:Jiro Mochizuki from Black Blood Brothers.

J.J.:Diego form Go Diego Go.

Mai:-

J.J.:Dora the Explorer! Hahahaha! Jk Mai!

Addie:Yeah, he means Boots the monkey!

Mai:*tries to slash them*Kaede Nagase from Mahou Sensei Negima!

Soi Fon:I was about to say that.

Addie:Nodoka Miyazaki from Mahou Sensei Negima! AHHH! Mai, back off!

Saix:I don't know my twin.

Mai:Tsk tsk tsk! You should!

Saix:When is a 'twin' going to be useful?

Mai:I don't know ask 'Addie'.

Saix:Hnn? You're not Addie!

Nodoka:Err! Umm!*faints*

Addie:Chill babe. I went for some juice. Want some?

Saix:I don't know! Am I talking to the real Addie or the Nodoka girl!?

Addie:Down boy. I'm hurt you couldn't tell the difference.*fake cries*

Saix:I'm sorry.

Mai:Bye twins!

Twins:*leave*

Mai:Bye means leave Diego.

Diego:I need your help in leaving. Can you say bye in Spanish?

Mai:Yeah, leave before I sic Sephi on your ass!

Cloud:Trust me. You don't want that. Once he's after you, he never stops. He come back again and again! It's torture!*waves and laughs nervously at Sephiroth*

Diego:You have to say Adios. Can you say Adios!*pauses*Louder louder!

Mai:I don't have to say shit! Sephi!

Sephiroth:Got'cha!*pulls out sword*

Diego:*runs*

Sephiroth:Come back you little pussy!

Jushiro:Let him go.

Sephiroth:You'll pay Diego brat!

Jushiro:Next time we'll be celebrating all the engagements at Rain-chan and Izuru's mansion. Adios!

Sephiroth:*tries to attack*I've got you, you damn little brat!


	31. Engagement Celebration

Jushiro:He-

Vincent:Hello. Welcome-

Jushiro:No. That's my job. Forgive my impoliteness, but why are you guys still here?

Vincent:I am still here to correct everyone's thoughts on my being a vampire.

Sephiroth:I am here because I couldn't find that kid.

Cloud:I'm here because after the chapter I got too wasted to find my way home.

Mai:I would expect that from Sephi.

Sephiroth:I wanted to, but nobody would give me any.

Addie:If you are crazy sober, imagine yourself drunk.*shivers***katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: AWW!  
Charisei: *hits Ulqui playfully* why aren't you sweet like Gaara?  
Karahime: aww! everyone is getting married! wait are Kat and Gaara married?  
Charisei: Sephi-chan has anger issues. KENPACHI HELPZ HIM!  
White kitty: muhaha Kitteh has come heya foo!  
Katizo: *screams***

Ulquiorra:Well.... I don't know...

Gaara:Yes we are! I would never make love to a girl I wasn't married to.

Mai:Thats why sweet, sweet liquor was made.

Kenpachi:Hey! I'm a therapist, not a miracle worker.

Sephiroth:Are all of you trying to say I have mental problems?

All:NOOO! OF COURSE NOT!

Addie:You only killed a few hundreds of people. Thats all. I mean it's not like you stole from a candy store!

Mai:That is the worst crime!

Grimmjow:Especially from the candy store!

Sephiroth:Your sarcasm is seriously making me think that you are saying I am insane.

Mai:NOO! Really?

Saix:Are you crazy and stupid?

Kenpachi:Hey! I didn't do anything to you!

Saix:I was talking to the white haired guy!

Jushiro:I am not crazy! My mental synopsis says so!

Saix:Not you! The other white haired guy!

Sephiroth:Calling me crazy!

Kisuke:Thats absurd! **RainingSun:**

***Opens door wearing pwetty silver dress with puppy in one arm and Izuru right beside* Hi everyone, welcome to our new (Completely Cat-in-the-Hat-proofed, and as of now *pushes buttons* Smurf-and-Teletubby-proofed too!) Mansion!**

****

Btw, Au Revoir is French ^w^ Parce que je suis Francaise. Because I am French. *smile*

As for the Puppy naming contest, Congrats to... *dun dun dun!* ULQUIORRA! Say hi to the person who gave you your name, Minna-chan! Now sit and be nice, don't go and eat the guests' shoes. Izuru dear please make sure the shoes are locked in the closet, we don't want a replay of yesterday. Gomen nasai, I didn't know she liked shoes, especially your shoes! heh heh... *blushes*

Anyway, Welcome! The Buffet table is over there *points* And, what else... Oh yeah, over there *points* is the Dance floor, and *points* the new INDESTRUCTIBLE! DDR with 4-player mode! I dare you all to have a Dance-off! And the pool table, the ping pong table, and the Arcade-ish-thing are all over there *points in turn* Also, the bar is right there *points* BUT, before you start drinking be sure you have a designated driver. LOL, JK! Wait, can you guys even drive anyway? You can always Shunpo and carry them I guess. Still. Don't be too drunk. Well, *looks around* I think that's it!

***Clinks glass* Attention everyone! I have an announcement! We are hosting this party to congratulate the engagements that have occured the past few chapters. We shall all wish them luck and happiness in their future marriages. A toast, to Mai and Byakuya, Yoruichi and Kisuke, Lily-chan and Jushiro, and myself and Izuru. *raises glass* To Everyone! (What? It's too long to list all the names in the toast!) *Clinks glass and takes a sip* LET THE PARTY BEGIN! XD**

Mai:Yay!

Ulquiorra:I'm a winner! What did I win?

Jushiro:You win recognition.....

Ulquiorra:What a crappy prize.

Addie:I suck at dancing!

Mai:You suck at everything that requires movement!

Addie:Exactly!

Byakuya:Sorry, I am late everyone. That cat was trying to convince me to let it in.

All:*look at Cat in the Hat, face pressed against the window*

Renji:*shrieks like a little girl*NO! OUTTA HERE!

All:*dance*

Mai:The winner is Saix again!

Addie:He busted out his 'secret moves'?

Axel:Yes dammit!

Yoruichi:I think he should be excluded of all dance offs, competitions, and contests.

Saix:Sorry for being good.

Addie:Too good.

J.J.:Wow! That stuff looks fun!

Jushiro:Byakuya, Grimmjow, and Addie can drive. Mai is learning.

Mai:How drunk is too drunk?

Grimmjow:When you are starting to think Sephiroth is sexy.

Sephiroth:I am sexy!

Grimmjow:Or, for Vincent, when you start to having fun.

Vincent:A-no, you're right.

Everyone:*raise glasses and clinks them*To everyone.

Byakuya:To our happiness and health.

Mai:Yes. Now lets party! **Animefan0410:**

**..Hurray..Here she is *shows her* As a heads up Kenpachi, she's nto all that into romance. But a little is fine with her, jsut don't get to mushy or she'll punch your face in (You can take her, and give her a name, it can be an OC. I honestly don't care lol).**

**And I mine as well go, just to watch, also I have to say. Mexican candy?..Really? No offence, but most of that stuff is crap. We had a Sinco De Mayo party in my school, for the Spanish class I was in (It was Spanish classes only). We had to fill a pinata with nothing but mexican candy, and most of it wasn't very good.**

Kenpachi:Hot-ty! Hey baby.

Mai:She doesn't want romance, is bloodthirsty, and loves to fight. Perfect match.

Byakuya:What's this about Mexican candy, Mai?

Mai:....

Byakuya:Mexican candy is nasty!

Mai:Not all of them!

Byakuya:Which ones?

Mai:Lets see... Duvalines are okay. Lucas and....

Byakuya:There will be no cheap Mexican candy.

Mai:Fine! Why don't you introduce yourself?

Katsumi:Alright, I am Katsumi.

Kenpachi:'Victorious beauty'. Thats nice.

Katsumi:Kenpachi, so I assume you are the strongest Shinigami.

Kenpachi:Right.

Jushiro:Lets get on with the show. **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

**Tell me exactly WHY Byakuya is dressed like a girl, Sephiroth is acting SO weird and all the clothes i took to Hawaii SUDDENLY *Hint sarcasm* become 4 inches shorter than they originally were?**

****

*Gets all googly eyed* OH YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME! THAT STUPID ASS CAT IS BACK?? I have a solution! *Grabs Kitteh*

White kitty: LET GO OF ME FOO!

Me: NO! YOU SPAWN OF THE EVIL KITTY GOD! *Tranquilizes the Kitteh*

That should hold it for no-

White Kitty: I'M BACK FOO!

Me: Not for long! *Whacks with frying pan, and sends it into the firey pits of the Kitteh world*

Stupid cat! Why didn't anyone make this place evil kitty proof? i mean, after the "incident" in chapter.. ok i can't remember but still...

That cat has a mind of it's own, so if it comes back, I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT TO DO.

3...

2...

1...

Here it comes, *Starkist tuna pops up*

Tuna: HIY-

Me: DIE! *Hits with frying pan*

Nesquick bunny: HE-

Me: DIE! *shoots with bazooka*

The singing cow from Cheese commercials: MOO!

Me: ... *Pulls out gameboy* *Starts playing Pokemon* GROUDON, SOLARBEAM!!

Cow: Moo?

Me: DIE!! *Solar beam hits cow*

I think i'm just gonna watch this door to make sure no odd people show up

Perez Hilton: Hey BiTchez!

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! KEN-CHAN SAVE ME!*Hides behind chan*

*Walks over to Sephiroth* I'm not scared of you anymore! You know why?? *Points in face* Because your evil laugh sounds like a little girl giggling compared to Ken-chan's!! Seriously, just listen to it.

Now i'm tired, You see that rather large pillow? *Pillow pops up* Yes, the one in the corner... No, not that corner, the other corner *Points to right corner* I'm gonna go take a nap on it, i've had enough with cows, bunnies and tuna for one day. Wake me up when the party is over. And when i wake up, my attire better not be altered, nor should i have marker on me WHAT SO EVER! Ka-peeche? Good, my zanpakuto is with in reach so if any of you do any of the activities listed above, you will be sent into everlasting darkness by Kumori Kyoukan, and trust me, he is powerful...

***Falls asleep***

Byakuya:I was dressed as a woman because of Lily-chan's dare.

Sephiroth:I am behaving oddly because I can.

Roy:I have no idea!*hides mini skirt behind back*

Mai:That kitty's funny!

Grimmjow:Of course he is. He's my son.

Kenpachi:What the fuck? Why the hell are all these bastards popping out? Paris Hilton?

Katsumi:Allow me.*laughs and grins evilly*C'mere!*beats the shit out of Paris*

Sephiroth:Ha. If you say so.

Roy&Axel:Damn!

Roy:Only a little shorter!

Axel:Its water removable!

Mai:No! Bad!*sprays them with water bottles***s****egunda etapa:**

**Well, to business then. First, let´s make the mansion indestructable. * deploys several force field generators on the walls and turns them on * Just in case someone goes berserk * arrow points at Mai *  
Congratulations for the engagements Mai, Byakuya, Yoruichi, Kisuke, Lily-chan, Jushiro, RainingSun and Izuru.  
Sephiroth, Kenpachi, you two against me, outside, now.  
* pulls out a gun and a katana * Destroy everything, Pandora! * the gun turns into a plasma-armcannon and the katana into a blade similar to Sephiroths. * ( In case you wonder what my zanpakutos abilities are, it can transform into the form of any weapon I want. ) Bring it, bithes. * the fight starts *  
* after a while * * gets thrown backwards * Oh well, looks like I underestimated you two a little. * four demonic wings grow on my back * This is the power of the wind demon. It won´t be that easy from now on. * resume fighting *  
* even later * Well, you are powerful, but let´s finish this now. * puts on hollowmask that looks like a vampire face. * You put up a good fight, but it´s over now * defeats both with a single attack * Train and then come again for a rematch.  
Now that the fight is over, LET`S PARTY TILL DAWN!! * joins the party ***

Mai:Hey! I was protecting my territory!

All listed by Segunda:Thanks.

Kenpachi:And then I was like- Huh? A fight? Sure!*goes outside*

Sephiroth:Hehehe.*goes outside*

Mai:Cool zanpakuto!

Addie:What a fight.

Mai:Look! It looks like fireworks when their blades cross!

Jushiro:Very pretty.

Kenpachi:HAHA that was a great fight. Can't wait until the next time.... Nngh.*collapses*

Sephiroth:......*falls to the ground*

Mai:Woah! You are strong!

Addie:Damn....

Jushiro:Am I glad I wasn't challenged.

Mai:We don't have a healing barrier.

Jushiro:We'll have to call Orihime.

Ulquiorra:PLEASE NO!!!! NOT HER!!!

Mai:Just kidding! We brought it incase! J.J. if you please.

J.J.:Why do I always have to?*turns it on*

Kenpachi:I'm fine now.

Sephiroth:What are this things properties?

Mai:I dunno. It's been in my family for awhile.

Ichigo:No it hasn't!

Mai:On my real dad's side.

Jushiro:Real dad?

Mai:I'd rather not get into it...but....

Addie:That side of her family is a very important noble family. They are higher than the Kuchiki family in rank.

Byakuya:I didn't know that.

Ichigo:Actually, I didn't even know that.

Mai:Yes.

Byakuya:Do not be sad.*lifts her chin*We are celebrating a very special moment in our lives.

Mai:Yeah! I know! I'm happy! I wanna dance!*drags him to dance floor*

Jushiro:It seems there is more about her we will always wonder about.

Addie:Speak for yourself. I know everything there is to know.

Katsumi:Aren't we high and mighty?

Kenpachi:Hahaha.

Addie:Stop giggling Kenpachi.

Kenpachi:I ain't giggling! I don't giggle!

Jushiro:We are happy! We will not fight! Get it into your heads! Now be happy or I will blast your asses out of here with Sougyo no Kotowari!

Kenpachi:Yeah. You are so scary. Come on, babe.

Katsumi:Tch.

Addie:Good riddance!*whispers to Saix*That girl's my hero!

Saix:*rolls eyes inwardly*

Addie:She's cool. Admit that.

Saix:Yeah.... She's my hero too!

Addie:Really?

Saix:No. Not really.

Jushiro:What are you two whispering about?

Addie:Nothing!

Jushiro:Nothing huh? So go do something and have fun!

Addie:I hope you aren't talking about sex.

Jushiro:No! Why would you think that?

Saix:Something, fun. You have to be very clear and specific when speaking to her.

Addie:Yup.

Jushiro:Just go.

Addie:Alright, that cat was creeping me out anyway...*looks scared at Cat in the Hat*

Ulquiorra:How is Cat in the Hat here? Mai ceroed him to oblivion.

Addie:Shit happens....

Cat in the Hat:*spells out on window:Cat in the Hat Jr.*Hehehe.

Jushiro:.......

Ulquiorra:I'm scared.

Addie:Saix, protect me.

Saix:What the fuck? Why are you people scared of him?

Addie:I thought I told you to read the whole story.

Saix:Things got too strange.

Jushiro:Thats life! For us.

Ulquiorra:Unfortunately.

Jushiro:The only good thing of life is Lily-chan and thats enough for me? Vampire guy, who's your date?

Vincent:I am not a vampire. I have a demon in me.

Jushiro:We all do.

Vincent:But mine isn't like your sickos!

Jushiro:Quit avoiding the question.

Vincent:No one.

Jushiro:Don't you feel better admitting it?

Vincent:Not really.

Mai:What are you bums doin' sittin' down!? Dance! Or play a game or something!

Jushiro:I'm going! Next time our guests are-

Saix:Please don't say-

Jushiro:Demyx, Zexion, and Xigbar from again Kingdom Hearts.

Saix:Damn!

Axel:Yes!


	32. New Kid on the Block, Katsumi

Jushiro:Hello everyone.

Mai:Welcome to our little fic/show/chapter/whatever!

Zexion:Is it a fic or a show?

Mai:The terms are interchangeable.

Jushiro:Okay. I was a little confused.

Mai:Now what?

Jushiro:I guess we introduce the first person.

Mai:Zexion, you do the honors. You are a guest.

Zexion:Alright then. **lunarprincess21:**

***sings while wearin a knee length white dress* all the couples out there looks beautiful tonight...i want to make a toast to all the future husbands and wives, may your lives be filled with happiness and love...and husbands don't cheat on your wives... trust me *raises glass* TO LOVE!!**

Mai:You have a very beautiful voice.

Jushiro:Thank you very much.

All:*hold up glasses*To love.

Byakuya:I would never cheat on you.

Mai:Yeah...

Byakuya:Mai?

Mai:Just kiddin' baby. You are the man for me!

Xigbar:*spits*Ugh. There is too much sappiness and love. **katizo terusei:**

**Charisei: *hugs Ulqui* its okay i love you anyway!  
Katizo: *reading random story* oh Jashin!!  
Charisei: Kat? that better not be a yaoi story.  
Katizo: *innocent smile* just a wittle GrimmIchi.  
Karahime: *right infront of Xigbar* you. are. gay. admit it!  
Random girl: GAARA! *glomps*  
Charisei: uh Katizo! b.g.g.  
Katizo: *looks up* *sighs* *pulls out sword* Blow away your enemies, Loraname!!  
Random girl: *sucked into tornadoe* AH!  
Katizo: been awhile since i've had to use my zanpakto. you remember Loraname don't you Ken-Ken? (referring to Kat's story 'love in the squads')  
Charisei: *gasps* no ones ever seen mine! Dream, Shorikiko  
*sends everyone to dream world*  
Katizo: wow! it's pretty here! HOLY FUCK!! IT'S A WALKING GUMMY BEAR!  
Gummy bear: *sings Gummy bear song*  
Karahime: wow! *screams* LADY GAGA! OH JASHIN HELP!  
Jashin: wow. i thought Hidan was my only follower.  
Nnoitra: *points at Jashin* i can beat you!  
Jashin: YOU CAN'T BEAT GOD BITCH! *kills Nnoitra permenatly*  
Katizo: he's gone okay! he's not coming back!  
Tesla & Szayel: *crying* NNOITRA!  
Katizo: oh shut up and go fuck Xigbar.  
Karahime: what she said.  
Charisei: *hits Kat and Hime* quit ticking off people!  
Both: NEVER!**

Ulquiorra:*hugs clumsily*

Xigbar:I. am. not. gay.

Mai:We are considering it as a dare. Do it.

Xigbar:That means it ain't a real confession. I am gay.

Mai:Fine! If you say so!

Kenpachi:Errr... Of course I remember...

Katsumi:He. You are such a bad liar.

Kenpachi:I don't lie. I just don't tell the truth.

Mai:Woah! We are either in the dream world too or I got high again with a yellow pokeball!

Byakuya:A yellow pokeball?

Mai:It's a kind of pill.

Addie:Shame on you for doing that shit.

Mai:I was kidding and you actually sell it!

Addie:Desperate times Mai. Anyways we are in a recession.

Mai:You guys don't tick us off! You guys are funny!

Addie:Exceedingly so.

Mai:So what?

Addie:We are not playing this game again.

Mai:What game?

Addie:Saix! Make her stop!

Mai:Stop what?

Saix:If you stop I'll let you play with Demyx's sitar.

Mai:OKAY!!

Demyx:But I love my sitar!

Mai:Byakun! Demy won't let me and Saix lied to me!

Saix:Give it to her! Hurry!

Byakuya:I don't like liars.*slowly taking out Senbonzakura*

Saix:It's his fault!*grabs sitar and hands it to Mai*

Demyx:NOO!

Mai:YAY!

Demyx:*grumbles***RainingSun:**

**A...A...A...ATCHO! HEY! HOW'D YOU GET IN HERE?! *points dramatically at Cat in the Hat* DAMMIT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! *Death glare* *pulls out Zanpaku-to* *Suspense music starts playing***

****

Saix, I have to agree, the story's gotten really strange... o.o But that's what makes it amazingly fantastic! *cute face*

**Me: I'm si--a..a.. ATCHOO!-sick... TT_TT Awah, it is not fun.  
Izuru: Here's your Tea  
Me: *takes grateully* Thank you... *sips tea*  
Izuru: *starts to walk away but notices what Rain's doing* Hey, if you're sick then why are you on the computer??  
Me: Umm... No... *throws blanket on computer* This isn't a computer, it's a... A Sculpture! Yeah a Sculpture I'm working on for Art. ATCHOO!  
Izuru: *lifts up blanket* You're a horrible liar. Especially when you're sick. Come on, you need to rest. Any what's so important anyway?  
Me: *sigh* Fine. And I need to read the latest chapter! Or else a..a..ATCHOO!! I'll miss everything! ATCHOO!  
Izuru: *shakes head while laughing* Wow, you're pretty dedicated.  
Me: Yup! ATCHOO!  
Izuru: Now get to bed. I'll bring you some toast in a minute.  
Me: Meh. *turns back to computer screen* Okay friends, I must go before I - ATCHOO!- get in trouble again from *gestures towards Izuru who is waiting and tapping his foot* BYE!~ ATCHOO!**

Addie:Thank you very much! It makes me real glad to hear you guys say that.

Mai:Oh no! You are sick!*hands medicine and tea*

Izuru:She's my fiance! I'll be her nurse!*kicks Mai out*

Mai:Meanie downer! Get better Rain-chan.

Addie:Thank you for reading even though you are sick. It makes us all very happy. **Sougyo no kotowari1012:**

***Wakes up dazed* This pillow really is comf-**

****

Axel, Why is there a marker stain on my dress?

Roy, Why is my dress shorter? *holds up red strip of fabric* *Evil grin* I will give you 3 seconds to run...

1,2,3!!

Suchi-ru, Kumori Kyoukan! Bikou Tsume! (Shadow Claw)  
Apparently, this cat *points to white kitty* WON'T leave me alone. So It's gonna be part of my reviews. But i told it not to hurt anyone, right little kitty? *Pats Kitty's head*

White Kitty: I SAID DON'T CALL ME DAT FOO! AND DON'T TOUCH ME!!  
Me: WRONG AWNSWER! *sprays with water bottle*

White kitty: Fine Foo

Me: That's better  
He needs a name, any suggestions? Only name i could come up with is Grimm Jr. Not a bad name if you ask me...  
White Kitty: No One asked you stoopid...  
Me: Nor did anyone tell you to open your freakishly large mouth.  
White Kitty: Touche,  
*Walks over to Cat in the hat jr.* You have 5 seconds to run as fast as you can to the nearest hiding spot before i go vizard on your ass and make sure your future descendents can't have children. And even if you hide i will crush you with Spiritual pressure. Now... run,  
Demyx, what's your problem with people calling you a gutarist? Even though your thingy-ma-bobber is called a Sitar...  
Ken-chan, since little old Sephiroth hear *Gestures toward Sephiroth* Doesn't believe me about your laugh, will you laugh for him?  
*Still chasing Roy and Axel with my Shadow Claw* GET BACK HERE YOU LIL PUNKS!! IT'LL ONLY HURT A LIL BIT! *Laughing evily* *Stops abruptly* I smell...FUN! *Grin gets more evil* excuse me!

~A while later~

Me: *comes back* It...was...only... AH THE HORROR!  
White Kitty: Told ya not ta go in tha doe foo..  
Me: YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT WAS IN THERE!! *Points to door with the word "Narnia" plastered on it*  
White Kitty:*Mumbles* Stoopid... Im'ma end tha review now, ka-peeche? she ain't feelin' so well, *Points claw towards me*  
Me: O_o I think my brain died...  
White Kitty: See whatz i men?? Memba ta give me a good name, nuthin like Shiro, J.r., or Whity, especially not whity. I wantz sumthin ta suit ma persanlity, and if ya do suggest one of dem names listed above, i'll shred every ounce of yo skin with ma claws, Got that foo?  
Me: Just...get the review over with, please...

**White Kitty: Fine foo, she's gone back to dat pilla ova there, don't botha her or i'll kill ya. I don't want a repeat of last time, Iight? WHITE KITTY OUT!**

Roy*Axel:I SWEAR IT WASN"T ME!!*run from claw*

Grimmjow:Ey! Grimmjow Jr. is a freaking badass name!

Demyx:I dunno why people say that. I don't really care. Gimme my sitar!

Sephiroth:Sure.

Kenpachi:*gives his evilest and most crazy laugh*

Seohiroth:.... I have to change my pants....

Mai:Haha. Kenny Penny has a funny laugh! It makes other people scared!

Katsumi:It doesn't scare me.*smirks at Kenpachi*

Kenpachi:Oh really?

Mai:Okey doke! We gotta come up with a name fer Grimmy's evil ass son!

Grimmjow:Who I pay child support for.

Mai:Suggestions?

Jushiro:Fluffy!

J.J.:Evil Mutha#$er.

Katsumi:Crazy.

Ulquiorra:Amatsu Mikaboshi, the god of evil. The name means August star of Heaven, but the god is of evil.

Mai:Good name, hmm.*puts on thinking face*Doggy?

Addie:Aku reikon. Evil soul.

Byakuya:Shirogi. White deception because his white, cute form deceives people.

Grimmjow:FUCK ALL THOSE NAMES! I FUCKING PAY FOR THIS KID! HIS FUCKING NAME WILL BE GRIMMJOW JR.!!!

Mai:Jesus! Calm down Grimmjow.

Grimmjow:Alright kid! Your name is Junior and you will enjoy it! Be fucking proud to carry my name!!

Addie:Shut up, Grimmjow.*distracts him with laser pointer*

Grimmjow:What the hell is that?*follows light*

Mai:Don't threaten us foo! I ain't afraid to kill a kitten! I don't care if your his too! Foo!

Addie:Shut up.*grabs another laser pointer*

Mai:I'll catch that little red bastard this time!

Addie:Lates. **Animefan0410:**

**(Like the name of her). And hurray, no mexi candy lol..And more KH characters? At least let it be the epic characters, which would be the Disney ones, namely Donald, Goofy, and Mickey lol..May I possibly suggest bringing Barragon in next as a guest? He's espada numero 2.**

**I also have a question for Zaraki..Can I have a raise? Or a bonus check? Also people, technically speaking, this place is Cat In The Hat proof, not Cat In The Hat jr proof...**

Mai:Mexican candy is- yeah it is that bad..

Addie:Donald, Goofy, and Mickey! Haha!

Mai:Yeah! We need to get every single Bleach character here!

Addie:Not all at once for course. Who else do we need?

Jushiro:We need the mod souls, Bounts, sword spirits, a few arrancars, a few people in the Soul Society, and..... I can't remember anybody else? We need a list.

Kenpachi:Get one of my employees on it then. Yeah, I'll give you a raise.

Katsumi:What are you talking about?

Kenpachi:You don't knnow?

Katsumi:No.

Kenpachi:I'm a therapist too.

Katsumi:HAHAHA! A therapist?

Kenpachi:What the fuck so funny?

Katsumi:Have you ever helped anyone successfully?

Kenpachi:Komamura don't wear his helmet shit no more!

Katsumi:People pick on him now.

Kenpachi:But. He. Ain't. Wearing. It. No. More!

Katsumi:Haha. Calm down Ken. It's a little of a shock is all. I mean you seem more of a 'get fucking over it' kinda guy, not 'come here and lets talk about'.

Kenpachi:The old fart made me learn about feelings and shit! I ended up with this job.

Jushiro:Why is that you always blame Genryuusai-sensei for everything?

Kenpachi:Because it's always his fault! Why were we at war?

Mai:Because it was fun and Yamamoto is old and senile?

Kenpachi:Correct! And because Yamamoto is old and senile!

Mai:I got it right!

Jushiro:*gives Mai a disapproving look*

Mai:Let me celebrate this! Its not everyday I'm right.

Jushiro:*rolls his eyes*

Mai:Okay! I'm right most of the time!

Jushiro:*shakes head disapprovingly***LilyGirl101:**

**Sorry I didn't review last time! My brother was hogging the computer! Anyway...why is there a party...oh, well! *joins in* I love parties!**

****

*screams* The Cat in the Hat attacked me, Shiro-chan!! In a very not-nice way that reminded me of the rape closet! Ah! Save my from the pedo-cat! *runs away to Shiro-chan* That cat scares me...just like the Akatsuki...did you know that those bastards are STILL chasing me? I think I'm just gonna use my zanpakto on their asses *snarls*

I really don't know what to say this time around...I have no clue what the heck is going on...well...

Zaki-chan, thanks for my uniform *puts it on and twirls around* What do you think? *climbs on his shoulders again* This is my favorite perch! Zaki-chan's so tall! And I'm glad you found a girlfriend, Zaki-chan! I'm sorry what I said earlier, about you being bitter and alone...*hugs him, and starts playing with the bells in his hair*

Whoa, Mai-chan's a noble? O_o That's scary to think about...

Dares this time...Jow-chan, I dare you to act like Ul-chan, and Ul-chan, I dare you to act like Jow-chan. Bya-nii-chan, I dare you to read a rated M romance fic for you and...*drumroll* RUKIA! (I should really stop doing this to the poor man! :-p) Mai-chan, I dare you to bake a cake. Nobodies...stop talking. Seriously. I dare you to not talk the entire chapter (everybody, please feel free to anger or otherwise bait them into speaking). If either of you talks, you get to fight me and my zanpakto. *Zaki-chan, take the bells out of your hair again (is only saying this because she likes putting them back in)

Wow, Shiro-chan has been a really random this chapter! Maybe it's just because I don't have a clue what's going on...hm...oh, well! Shiro-chan, I'm not the ONLY good thing about life! There's chocolate, beaches, sunsets, kittens, special outfits, blackouts, blizzards...and you're a good thing in life, too! *hugs him and kisses him* At least, you are to me! Hey, look, DDR! Shiro-chan, come play with me!

Aw, bring someone in from something NOT Kingdom Hearts! Let me make a suggestion...*thinks for a minute* Who's the perfect man to bring on the show...? Oh, I know! *facepalm* How could I have missed HIM! Bring...*drumroll* Sesshomaru! *almost faints* Yeah, bring in Sesshomaru! *stares off dreamily* Oh, my gosh...Sesshomaru...*goes off into dreamand* Sesshomaru...oh, I love Sesshomaru...*walks into the wall* Whoa...sorry, I was in dreamland. Anyway, please bring Sesshomaru on, OK? I have something really fun that I want to do with him! *evil grin* REALLY fun...

Oh, I have a contest for you all! Who can guess my two favorite songs of all time? I'll give you two hints, one for each song/ Anyone who guesses correct, or close to correct, gets me all to themselves all alone for four hours! OK? OK! Rules apply for both guys and girls!  
Hint Number One: The first clue is one line from Song 1: "Well I'm still imagining a dark-lit place, or your place or my place!" Think on it, honeys!  
Hint Number Two: Song number two is a song that got me in so much trouble! ;-p It's about a girl who the girls don't like, the boys fantasize, and the kind your mama and your daddy were afraid you'd turn out to be like!  
Figure it out, hon!

**Signed with love and longing,  
Lily-chan with love! *drags Shiro-chan off to play DDR***

Mai:We were celebrating all the engagements!

Jushiro:That fucking degenerate did what?

Mai:Oh God! He's gonna explode!

Jushiro:I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!!!*attacks Cat in the Hat Jr.*THE AKATSUKI TOO?!*wipes them out*

Mai:Dear lord help the man that pisses off Lily-chan....

Kenpachi:Yeah, I wasn't bitter. I was alone though. Not anymore.

Katsumi:Why are the attacking a cat?

Kenpachi:Because it's a pedo-molester cat's son.

Katsumi:I don't think I'll ever get used to things around here.

Mai:Me and Shiro-kun have been here forever and we still aren't used to it!

Katsumi:That's not a good thing.

Mai:Yes, I am. A very high ranking one. How is that scary though?*has a confused face*

Grimmjow:You guys are all trash. I'm going to write in my diary about this.

Ulquiorra:WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS STARIN' AT ME!?

Byakuya:Oh God....*reads*Ewww!*Kidos Mai's computer*

Mai:.....

Byakuya:I'm sorry....

Mai:Don't be! You are going to buy me a new one!*bakes vanilla cake*

Byakuya:Yum.

Nobodies:*stop talking*

Mai:You might as well leave.

Nobodies:*leave through dark corridor*

Kenpachi:I don't really feel comfortable with people touching my hair....

Katsumi:You mean like this.*runs fingers through hair*

Kenpachi:*inches away slowly*

Mai:Why Kenny?

Kenpachi:I don't know, trauma?

Mai:What was so traumatic about hair?

Kenpachi:Nothing that you should concern yourself about or that I will ever tell you.

Jushiro:You are the most important Lily-chan.*goes to play*

Mai:Sesshomaru? I think he's from Inyuasha.... I don't really watch Inyuasha, sorry. A lot of contests for us, aren't there?

Addie:Umm, the first song I know for sure is Paralyzer by Finger Eleven.

Mai:By your hint for the second one, you mean like a girl that is like a whore right?

Addie:There's a lot of songs about hos though?

Mai:I am stumped! This is like the time I had to guess about.......*has a far off look*

Jushiro:**segunda etapa:**

*** sees the cat in the hat * So, that stupid cat is still here? Bankai! Do-mozude ( doomsday ) Pandora! Target locked. FIRE!**  
*** a giant ceroblast is fired from the sky and destroys the cat in the hat, as well as half a mile of the surrounding area. ***  
**This should settle the problem with the stupid pedo-cat. Good thing the mansion is indestructable.**

**Kenpachi: So you found a girlfriend? Good luck and congrats. Try to get your bankai next.**

**Mai: You are a noble? Very...unexpected.**

**Nobodies: How comes everyone of you has an X in his name? Can´t be just coinsidence.**

**Jushiro: I dare you to have a fight with Sephiroth, Kenpachi, Katsumi and the nobodies. I´m curious to see who will survi...Ehh, win.**

**And lets have a fight between Axel and Roy. Let´s see who will be grilled more. Hehe.**

**Well then. PARTY!!**

Mai:It was Jr. What if there's more?

Kenpachi:We'll finish every freaking cat then.

Grimmjow:You'll finish my family off then?

Kenpachi:If they get in the . Thanks. I'm trying to get it.

Mai:Yup I am! A very important one if I do say so myself.

Addie:The reason why is because thats what their group does. Put x's in their names.

Jushiro:*looks nervously at the bloodthirsty group*WHY?!

Mai:Because you pointed it out last time. Your luck is gone! Poof!

Jushiro:*knocks himself out*

Everyone else:*fight*

Mai:It's just Katsumi and Kenny...

Kenpachi:Not for long.

Katsumi:You are right. I'm gonna win!

Mai:Run for your life Kenpachi! Run!

Kenpachi:Why?

Mai:Because I've always wanted to say that!

Jushiro:Then why haven't you?

Mai:Not many people here care much for their lifes...

Ulquiorra:ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING SAY SOMETHING?!

Mai:YEAH I AM!!

Ulquiorra:COME OUT AND FUCKING SAY IT!

Mai:Even Grimmy ain't this loud!! Calm the fuck down!

Ulquiorra:All I know about Grimmjow's demeanor is that he yells, drinks, fights, and cusses a lot.

Mai:Well, he doesn't use big words like demeanor.

Grimmjow:Are you trying to insinuate I am stupid?

Mai:Insinuate? Big word! High five!

Grimmjow:I know! But I'm Ulquiorra right now so...*gets his Ulquiorra face on*Get your hand away from me trash.

Ulquiorra:High five Mai!

Mai:My high fives are special! I don't just give them out! Katsumi won! High five!

Katsumi:No.

Mai:Fuck you then.

Jushiro:Thats not nice, Mai.

Mai:She's not nice!

Jushiro:But she's dating Kenpachi, so she's got an excuse.

Mai:Okay.... I'll be nice.

Kenpachi:I took it easy on her.

Katsumi:Maybe I went easy on you.

Kenpachi:Maybe-

Mai:Have some cake.*shove cake in mouth*

Axel&Roy:*fight*

Roy:I won! I am the fire king, flame lord, and hot master!!

Mai:Way to go! High five!

Ulquiorra:You don't fucking give them out huh?

Mai:Nope! They are rewarded. I'm going to my thinking corner now.

Byakuya:What have you been thinking about?

Mai:We all have our little secrets that can't be shared.

Byakuya:You've been keeping things away from me?

Mai:Yup. Jushiro, do you have any deep, dark secrets?

Jushiro:Nope. I am very honest and believe that telling people is the best way to deal with things.

Mai&Kenpachi:Naa!

Kenpachi:I don't believe in that.

Jushiro:You are a therapist! How could you not?

Kenpachi:That doesn't mean I believe in it.

Mai:I used to be in a class where we made memory books and I don't believe in them!

Jushiro:How could you not believe in year books? They are a material object.

Mai:So it comes down to the material things for you!

Jushiro:No!

Mai:Yeah, sure.

Jushiro:You are one to talk.

Mai:Yes I am.

Jushiro:Time to wrap up the show.

Addie:I think I'll be taking my leave permanently.

Mai:Hmm? Why?

Addie:I don't feel very comfortable around here....

Mai:Why is that?

Addie:I don't know. Anyway I'd like to have the power back into my hands.

Mai:Okay! We'll miss you!

Addie:No you won't.

Grimmjow:Yeah, you're right. We won't.

Ulquiorra:I should have said tra- shit head....

Grimmjow:But I am you, stupid kitten trash.

Ulquiorra:Bat shit!

Jushiro:Next chapter we will have Barragan and his fraccion. Good-

Mai:Wait! I'd like to have a contest for everyone! Well, it's not really a contest. I am very curious about your weapons and abilities. If you have any, feel free to describe them. If you have any OCs please describe theirs as well.*looks at Animefan and HurricaneDiablo* I am planning to use this data for later....

Jushiro:You heard her. Write about your weapon if you want, even if it's not a zanpakuto. Good bye.


	33. Zanpakutos

Mai:Hi people. How are we all doing?

Barragan:Good. Now get this thing over with.

Mai:Jeez, you're a pushy old fart, ain'tcha?

Barragan:**Animefan0410:**

**Hurray Barragan! Also, there are only 2 other espada that you haven't had on, I'm going to se uf you can figure it out. But you have a hint, they are low ranked. I don't ave a zampaktou, I have a more practical weapon..A tazer gun, one hit and you're scewed, let me show you *ties Ulqiorra up and shoots him* Now, I can leave it on until he dies, or turn it off right now, but we don't need any character deaths here so..*turns off gun, which means thetazer has been disconnected* And I have no OC's, but I can submit a name for the kid, Little T. because he reminds me of Mr. T...I pitty the foo! lol But Grimmjow has a point..It is his kid afterall.**

**Thanks for the raise Zaraki!**

Mai:We haven't had the guy with the fishy tank and the guy who was trying to force my Byakun to take his love!

Grimmjow:Remind me never to sneak up on him...

Ulquiorra:Never Grimmjow*grabs Grimmjow and shakes him*Never piss him off! I haven't done anything to him and he tortured me!!!

Mai:Oh. So I'm guessing you are not claiming Katsumi.

Grimmjow:See!*takes Grimmjow Jr. to Ulquiorra*Thats how you traumatize a clown.

Grimmjow Jr.:DON'T TOUCH ME FOO!

Barragan:Does lord Aizen now about all of this?

Ulquiorra:LORD AIZEN CAN GO TO FUCKING HELL! I ALREADY FREAKIN' DIED!

Mai:You can stop being Grimmjow now.

Ulquiorra:That was my inner emotions that have been dying to be released.

Redder:Thats it! A warrior draws out his rage to fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Mai:Stop your chanting you stupid bird! Or do I need to bring Izuru here!

Redder:Who is his majesty's number one fraccion?! I am!! Who is?! I am!!!!

Mai:Hi Izuru!

Redder:....*thinking:Holy fuck! Thats the guy that chopped off my fucking head!!*

Izuru:I need some cough medicine for Rain-chan.

Mai:You could say please.

Izuru:Er yeah sorry. Ple-Hey! Didn't I cut your head off?*points at Redder*

Redder:No... That was my twin brother. I am Bluer.

Izuru:Oh. Your brother was annoying with all his chanting."Who's the best!?" and stuff like that.

Redder:Yeah.... **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: WOW! okay Loraname is my wind attributed Zanpakto. her name means tornadoe. her spirit is hyper and happy. in shikai form she is two sea green sythes. bankai form is a sea green tornadoe. (ps. in my story her bankai put Ken-Ken into a coma)  
Charisei: my zanpakuto is Shorikiko. her name means day dreamer. she forces anyone her blade touches into the dream world, if in fight they go through unmeantanable torture. in shikai form she turns into a shuriken. her spirit form can be judgemental. and well i haven't acsessed bankai yet.  
Karahime: i have a zanpakto but i stil haven't learned its name so i don't have shikai or bankai.  
Loraname: MASTER KATIZO! *hugs*  
Katizo: LORANAME! *hugs*  
Shorikiko: *glares at Ulqui* YOUR. THE. ONE. WHO DID. THIS. TO. MASTER CHARISEI?!?!  
Charisei: oh shit! RUN!!  
Loraname: *looks at Gaara* *giggles* He's cute Master Katizo!  
Katizo: *hugs Gaara* nuh uh Loraname. MINE!  
Loraname: Aw! no fair!  
Karahime: oh and by the way Char has *counts fingers* three days left! *hold up 3 fingers* we need names! it's gonna be a girl!  
Shorikiko: *trying to kill Ulqui* HE'S GONNA DIE FOR THIS!  
Charisei: *holding Shorikiko Back* CALM THE FUCK DOWN!**

Mai:Those are awesome zanpakuto! Mine doesn't call me master... She just glares at me now. Ever since Byakuya showed up.

Kuraiki:Because you are with pretty boy here, I have to hang out with Senbonzakura!

Mai:He's not that bad.

Kuraiki:*glares*

Ulquiorra:*looks around*_I'm_ not Ulquiorra. I'm the dark and mysterious, Batman!

Mai:Right.

Ulquiorra:Oh my God! Just three days!*faints*

Mai:I got a name. Akako! A passionate name that means "red"!

Jushiro:Hisa Hana or Hisahana. Hisa means "long lasting". Hana means "flower".

Byakuya:Hisahana sounds like Hisana.... I'll be back.*leaves*

Mai:Byakuya, come back.*chases*

Jushiro:Oops. I forgot...

Ulquiorra:How does Areceli or Lilibeth sound?

Grimmjow:Those are more American names! Mikazuki means "new moon". Thats a good name!

Kenpachi:Miharumi. "Clear blue sky" and I dunno where the -mi came from. Its just there.

Katsumi:Nami. It means "wave".

Mai:Crabs live in waves. Your a crab aren't you?

Findor:No es exacta.

Mai:What? Thats not proper-

Findor:No. Es. Exacta.

Mai:If you say that again I'll rip your head off.

Findor:No-es-exacta!**RainingSun:**

**Aw, thank you! Thanks to everyone's efforts I am feeling a little better, but still sick. (Although the sneezing's turned into coughing now, and I have a huge headache, still better. Ish. Anyway..)**

****

Oh hey it's Barragan! Omg, your power is amazing! It's liek unstoppable! WHE~!! Ok, I'm done. So wait, why is it you're like a King and look all special-like and stuff, but instead Stark's the Primera? I really didn't expect that when I was reading. Plus you seemed more powerful than him, so..?

YAY IT'S MAH ZANPAKU-TO! *dun dun dun* *Super amazing music starts playing*  
Me: *Pops out from shadows* MUAHAHA! Her name is Hisaidoni, which means 2 sided sun. Shikai is a two-bladed sword (imagine two katanas put pommel to pommel) with yellow wrapping. Um, I haven't achieved Bankai yet and even if I DID I wouldn't tell you what it looked like, just in case... You know... Someone decides to show up, I can go all SUPERNINJA on them and no one will know and everyone will be amazed. IF I've achieved it, that is. Because obviously, I haven't, why would a simple girl like me ever have a Bankai? *looks innocently around*

**So, with mah sickness and such, I am being kicked off. Byebye!~ Love yous!**

Mai:Hopefully you get better soon. Izuru won't let me take care of you!

Barragan:Because, even though I hate to admit it, he is more powerful than me.

Fraccion:Your majesty! No!

Barragan:Its true... He could kill hollows by just being near them!

Mai:I bet you're hiding it! I haven't got Bankai either than!*giggles*

Jushiro:Do you or don't you?

Mai:*giggles*Neither or both. The choice is yours.

Jushiro:Okay.... **segunda etapa:**

**Damn, I just had a deja vu when Byakuya sugessted the cats name. wierd. Whatever.**

****

About Lily-chans second song, I guess it is " I kissed a girl " by Katie Perry. Not sure though.

Let´s see what guests do we have: an old guy with weight problems ( either too fat or just bones ), a gay balerina who has a thing for incredibly long attack names, a sabertooth, a whale, a crab, a mammoth, and my favorite of barragans fraccions, and of the male arrancars in general, after starrk, Avirama Redder, the eagle. Well, what can I say, I just love birds of prey.

Well, weapons and abilities:

Zanpakuto name: Pandora

sealed form: a pistol and a katana

release command: sou hyakuji ( destroy everything )

abilities: shapeshifting into other weapons

has three different Bankai forms, which add one bonus each to the shikai ability

release commands:  
Bankai Lvl 1, do-muzude ( doomsday ) Pandora  
Bankai Lvl 2, youso kisaki ( elemental queen ) Pandora  
Bankai Lvl 3, muteki toride ( invincible fortress ) Pandora

Bankai aditions:  
Lvl 1 : deploys an orbital cero cannon with the destruction capabilities of 100 Yammy released form ceros.  
Lvl 2 : grands control over the elements.  
Lvl 3 : summons a flying fortress with houndreds of normal cero cannons.

Additional equipment: self created and implanted cybernetic upgrades, teleportation and time travel device, and a new addition, a sword based on nanotechnology, called Hoja de Aguila ( blade of the eagle ), in case Pandora is moody.

Pandora: What was that? I´m moody?  
Me: Oh, come on honey, have you forgotten that one time you were too bored to go into released form?  
Pandora: No sweethart, but that does not mean I am moody.  
( You guessed it, we are married. Pandora was given a normal body that I created, and had her Zanpakuto spirit inserted in there, making her a normal human. Also, we have two kids, Nariku and Fujisaka. ) Whatever, we have to go.  
Me: Okay, I´ll come in a minute. Mai, can you bring Cirucci Sanderwicci next time?

And before I forget it:

Narikus Zanpakutos ( she actually has two )

Release commands :  
Rise from the abyss, Nightmare  
Fall from the sky, Lightbringer

**release forms:  
Lightbringer: A pure white blade of light  
Nightmare: A ppitch black blade of darkness  
Abilities: Nightmare captures the spirit of the person whose head it hits and sends it into a world, where the persons worst nightmares become reality, while Lightbringer brings them back.**

Redder:See?! I'm the best of his fraccion! Me!

Ggio:Get over yourself!

Charlotte:You don't understand my beauty!

Mai:You can't understand something nonexistent.

Charlotte:Hmph!

Mai:Wow. Your zanpakuto's real advanced! And she's your wife?

Jushiro:What lovely children!

Ggio:The kid tortures people.... very lovely. **Souygo no kotowari1012:**

***Puts ice pack on Roy's head* Sorry about the shadow claw thing, i was in my sleeping daze... and yes you are the fire king. But i'm better than you! See! *Makes a flame the size of Mars* Beat that!  
Haha!! I'm used to Ken-chans laugh!! *Points in Sephiroths face* Did i not tell you it was EVIL!**

****

White Kitty: *Reads jushiro' suggestion* Foo... I'm gonna KEEL YOUZ!! WHERE DA HEYAL DID YA COME WITH DAT NAME?? and doggy, dat don't deserve a comment...

Me: What i say about attacking? *Holds up spray bottle*

White Kitty: What evs... I like emo face's and noodle hair's names. *Reads Grimmjow's line* So Blue haired spazzy anger issue proned cat is ma dad? I'm gonna so enjoy dis,

Me: YOUR NAME IS GRIMMJOW JR STUPID! *Puts collar on Jr.* your nickname is Little T.  
Grimm Jr: GET DIS DAMN THANG OFFA ME FOO!! *Starts flailing wildy*  
Me: Stupid...  
Yay! Contest!! You realy want me to do this? 8Pulls out Kumori Kyoukan very slowly*

he hates to be bothered when not he's needed O_o

Kumori Kyoukan means Shadow assassin, just like his name, he is a shadow type zanpakuto. To describe his spirit, just mush Ken-chan's,Byakuya's and Soi fon's attitude's into one O_o ScArY  
In his unreleased state, he looks like Tensa Zangetsu to tell you the truth, except the red parts are blue and the chain is a hell of a lot longer.  
Roy and Axel experienced his Favorite move ^.^ Bikou Tsume  
Grimmjow Jr: Hand me that damn thang! *Snatches Kumori Kyoukan away from me*  
Me: IDIOT ASS CAT!

Grimmjow Jr: Wha-?

*Kumori Kyoukan converts into his Human form*  
Kumori Kyoukan: I suggest you run until you can't run anymore, little one. Bikou akuma (Shadow demon)  
Hehe *Sweatdrops* I think i should name his attacks, so you could look out for them  
*Warning: He is at Bankai Level*  
Bikou tsume (Shadow Claw)  
Bikou Akuma (Shadow demon)  
Shimeru Kusari (Constricting chain)  
and last but not least...  
Kyyukyoku kingudo anei-mu (Ultimate King's shadow dome)

If it ends up with you in the last attack, count your blessing because there is NO chance of survival so i'm not gonna name anymore attacks since you probably won't see them... (FYI: All these attacks are done in Shikai form)  
Kumori Kyoukan: Little bastard got away *Reverts back to sword*  
Grimmjow Jr:*Comes out from behind couch* I-i-i-is h-h-he g-gone now?  
Me: Yes he's gone, told ya not to piss him off!  
Grimmjow Jr: *clinging to my leg* Remind me ta listen to the evil one form now on, Ka-peeche?

**Me: Psh, your calling me evil?? Naww...  
I have only- wait *Reads who's coming* Does this mean Ggio is coming?? I have a question for you... Did you ever realize that when you go into your Release form, that your head gets REALY small?  
and my last question is for roy and Axel, if YOU *Points at Axel* didn't put that marker stain there, and YOU *Points at Ryo* didn't cut my dress... then who did?  
Grimmjow Jr: I HAVE A QUESTION FOO!  
Me: No one cares,  
Grimmjow Jr: Izza keel ya foo, Ma question is fa Emo face here *Pounces next to Ulquiorra* You think ya can take me in a fight? If ya can't beat ma dad here, the that means ya can't beat me. Since i am his *Mumbles* son and all dat confusin crap... WHITE KIT- wait, i can'tz do dat anymo. NOW I NEEDZ A SIGN-OFF THANG!  
Me: Then let me handle i-  
Grimmjow Jr: I GOTZ ONE NOW!! JUNYA(Play on the word Junior)IZZA OUTTA!  
Me: No comment...**

Roy:Owww. That attack hurt..

Sephiroth:*inching away from Kenpachi*

Mai:Doggy would be a very unique name for a kitty!

Grimmjow:Boy, you better respect me! I'll spank you if you don't!

Ggio:Or my body gets really big.

Roy:Um um! Freddie Kuger!!

Ulquiorra:I _can _defeat that pathetic slobby trash of your father and I can defeat you, trash.

Grimmjow:I ain't a slob!

Ulquiorra:How did you ended up with an evil child then?

Grimmjow:You got a bun in the oven too!

Ulquiorra:Thats different.

Mai:Bye Junya and Souygo-chan.

Ggio:Junya?

Mai:I like Junya better than Junior.

Ggio:Probably because you're an illiterate.

Mai:Mostly like.

Findor:Exacta!

Mai:Shuhei!

Shuhei:Yes new provider of the shelter over my head?

Mai:It's that one dude..

Shuhei:You're the really irritating fuck!

Findor:Lieutenant, say miraffe 5 time quickly.

Shuhei:Miraffe, miraffe, miraffe, miraffe, miraffe.

Findor:Which animal has a long nose?

Shuhei:A giraffe?

Findor:No es exacta! An elephant!

Mai:You fell for it again Shuhei! First on t.v. and now on the Q&A!*is referring to previews to next episode on episode 218*

Shuhei:Oh I am soooo gonna kill you now!*attacks*

Poww:Why are you bringing the Shinigami that defeated us?

Mai:It's funny whale! **LilyGirl101:**

***spins around in a sailor fuku* What do you think of my new outfit? Uryu-chan made it for me! He said I looked cute! Do I look cute? *spins around again***

****

And Kat-chan (not Katsumi) I love yaoi! Yuri too! I'm a bit naughty like that! ;-p

Zaki-chan, you haven't shown up to work in a couple of days, and work is piling up! And someone is trying to anonymously sabotage my work uniform! *pouts* Help me, Zaki-chan, and come back to work!

Oh yes, Mai-chan, Sesshy is from Inuyasha! It's OK if you don't want to bring him on, I would just appreciate it if you did... *puppy dog eyes and pulls out a picture* Look at him, Mai-chan! See, that's him! He's so sexy, with his golden eyes and his fluffy tail and his white hair...*stares off dreamily*

Dares this time: Ul-chan, act like Zaki-chan. Zaki-chan, act like Bya-nii-chan. Bya-nii-chan, act like -chan, climb to the top of the Eiffel Tower and scream out one of your deepest secrets. Jow-chan, you're my pet for a day. My own cat ran away and I'm lonely. Shiro-chan, I dare you to randomly give candy to a group of grade-school girls in front of their parents and see what happens. *steps back*

Another contest! Who can guess my first anime crush! Here's two hints: The first anime I watched (where I first saw him) was Rurouni Kenshin! Hint two: he's a samurai! *grins* Whoever guesses correctly gets to pick their own prize!

Oh, no one guessed the second song! Mai-chan described it pretty well, though! *pout* I was a bit surprised...the hint I gave you? Those were lyrics from the song! All you had to do was look them up on Google, and find the song, and...And it's my theme song, too! Oh, well, I guess I have to tell you then! The song is...*drumroll*..."Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me", by Tara Young! YEAH!! That's my theme song, 'cause it describes me so perfectly! *puts on song and starts dancing*

*stops dancing* You want me to describe my zanpakto? O.o Well...just knowing what she does ain't gonna save you in battle!  
OK, as you know, my Barahime no Kamen (Rose Princess of Masks) is twin swords. One of the blades is white with a black stripe down the middle, and the other is black with a white stripe down the middle. To activate her, I say "Shroud your enemies in a hall of mirrors, Thrive in the darkness of battle, Barahime no Kamen!". What she does is reflect any and all attacks you direct at me back at you. If you perform the same trick multiple times on me, she memorizes it, and can use it without you having to attack first. Just by fighting me, you effectively kill yourself! My bankai...well, it envelopes me and my enemnies in an enormous gold, black and silver rose, and you can smell the scent for miles. Even if you're not inside the rose, the scent has a slightly maddening effect. But if you're inside the rose...Barahime takes you to a rose garden and shows you every aspect of your personality, good and bad, which will destroy your mind. If you're unlucky enough to survive that, you still have to fight your way out of the garden, facing the living vines and roses and thorns that inhabit her. And if you're unlucky enough to survive that, you effectively spend the rest of your life as a vegetable. When I activate my bankai, Barahime becomes a whip made of rose stems, with black thorns and rose buds. As an added bonus, every time I use my bankai, Barahime drops a seed. If anyone swallows it, she begins to grow inside them, allowing me temporary control of their bodies, until the growth kills them.  
Sorry, that was probably a bit too detailed...hehe... *embarrassed* kinda got carried away...anyway, that's what Barahime no Kamen does! Sorry I got so detailed...

Anyway, Shiro-chan! I made you a key lime pie! *grins nervously* It's way to...break the news to you...*takes a deep breath* SHIROCHANYOUREFINALLYGONNABEADAD! Sorry, that was both loud and unintelligible...let me try that again. *takes another deep breath* Shiro-chan, you gonna be a daddy! *grins nervously again* I'm finally pregnant!

**Signed with love and more love,  
A Very Excited and Stunned Lily-chan**

Jushiro:It's super cute!

Mai:I think Kenny's a little busy....

Kenpachi:Fine. I'll 'work'.

Mai:Okay, but I've never seen Inyuasha before except for a few episodes, but I did see Sesshomaru once.

Jushiro:We'll have him.

Mai:But-

Jushiro:He will be our guest.

Mai:Alright. I have no idea how we are going to pull this one off. He'll probably act a little OOC.

Ulquiorra:ARGGG! I'm a pirate!*grabs J.J. and puts him on his shoulder*This is my midget!

Kenpachi:I don't act like that! I mean, you filthy child.*flips hair and puts on his Byakuya voice and face*Can't you see I'm better than you with my long, shiny hair and fancy clothes?

Mai:Whoa. Kenny, you actually sound like Byaku-boo! Your dare's easy! Ulquiorra's just more of an emo, Byakun!

Byakuya:Are you one?

Mai:I don't cut my wrists Byakuya.*goes to do dare*My secret is..... I cheated on Byakuya!

Byakuya:WHAT?!!

Mai:It was an accident!

Byakuya:What. Happened.

Mai:Well, I didn't mean to. It just kinda sorta happened.

Byakuya:Was it with this fucking trash?*grabs Jushiro by collar*

Mai:No.

Byakuya:Who?

Mai:No one that you know! Anyway it was just an accidental kiss!

Byakuya:With who!?

Mai:No one you know!

Byakuya:WHO?!

Mai:.... Itachi.

Byakuya:You mean that guy that was hanging around while we were at Hawaii?

Mai:...Yeah.

Byakuya:We are talking about this later.

Mai:It was an accident!

Byakuya:I'm not talking about this now.

Grimmjow:Okay. I'm your pet.*curls up by LilyGirl's feet*Puurrr!

Jushiro:The lady beat me up with her purse and called the police!

Mai:Is the guy Saito, Shinomari, or Himura?

Jushiro:You are just reading a list of the male characters! Cheater!

Mai:Shhh!

Jushiro:Cheater!*is distracted by LilyGirl's dancing*Come here and give me a private dance.*points to the bedroom*

Mai:You're perverted! Your zanpakuto sounds pretty! But I don't think I would like to see it soon...

Jushiro:Yummy pie!*about to eat. drops fork*Wha?

Mai:You're gonna be a daddy!

Jushiro:Oh my God... I never thought it would happen!!*cries*I am so happy!

Mai:Wow. Another girl pregnant that isn't me.

Grimmjow:Are you sure you're not? I mean you're no saint Mai.

Mai:I'm not careless! We use protection!

Barragan:This generation is despicable. Babies are popping out everywhere.

Kenpachi:You're despicable.*hair flips*You disgust me.

Byakuya:I don't flip my hair that many times trash.

Kenpachi:I like flipping my hair because I'm Byakuya Kuchiki!*flips hair*

Byakuya:Whatever, trash.

Ulquiorra:I don't say trash that many times! Fight me!

Byakuya:Trash! Trash!

Mai:Byakuya...

Byakuya:*frowns*

Mai:We are talking right now! I didn't mean to! Anyway, I thought he was you. It was really dark and your ass look the same way so I smacked it and then he kissed me!

Byakuya:*smirks*I know. I knew it the whole time. I just waited for you to tell me.

Mai:You jerk! Causing me stress for no reason!

Jushiro:I'm going to be a dad.

Mai:So are all the other men on this freaking Q&A. Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Gaara, who we haven't seen in awhile, and you.

Byakuya:I am the only one that has screwed up.

Mai:Don't jinx it. Anyway, they could have wanted children.

Byakuya:Yes.

Jushiro:I wonder it'll be a boy or a girl. What if it's twins like Gaara?

Mai:I dunno. We've had to come up with a lot of names! **HurricaneDiablo:**

**IM BAK srry i didn't review i was down in hell prepping up dante's training session so he can get more powerful**  
**Dante:yeah i'm so strong now i could take on everyone in the soul soceity without using shikai or bankai or my sword in general**  
**HDiablo:don't get carried away **  
**Dante:like you don't?**  
**HDiablo:Anyway i'll describe Dante's abilities...Ahem,Dante's zanpaktou is Kuragia Akuma(Dark Scythe Demon)from the name i'm sure you can guess his zanpaktou turns into a scythe...**  
**Dante:Cuz my uncle is the Grim Reaper!**  
**HDiablo:*Rolls eyes*anyway his Shikai allows him to cut through anything in excistence(Even nobodies)and has the ability to control people's minds or put certain thoughts or memories into their minds**  
**Dante:Awesome right?**  
**HDiablo:i'm not done explaining all ur powers yet so SHUTUP Anyway,His bankai is Kura Aidagai Akuma(Dark Demention Sycthe Demon)which now he gains Bat like wings,a demonic tail and the power to rip open mini dementions(like that bount mayuri fought)and hide/sneak attack people but unlike the bounts doing this cuts off all connections to his spirtual energy as in you can't sense him at all Now to his more Hell like powers**  
**He has his Demon form(which looks alot like Vincent's Galian demon form cept wit longer hair and purple eyes)and his Angel form(gives him a holy looking form with 2 white whings and a long white horn coming out his head) but along with his Angel form he uses his other Zanpaktou(YES he has 2)which is Akarui Shirotora(forgot name)but is called out by "Shine Bright Through the Darkness" and before i forget Kuragia Akuma is called with "Reap The Soul" now Akarui Shirotora's shikai abiltiy is Akin to Kira's Wabisuke but the only diffrence is anything that gets slashed/clashed or stabbed wit Akarui Shirotora begins to move slower or get heavier making Dante seem much more faster and Dante's zanpaktou can also make a bright light beam that while charging Enemies are blind until it is done charging and since the beam is fast they usally die when it's used now Akarui Shirotora's bankai is...i can't remember but it does produce a Very terrifying Aura of a Tiger(Akarui Shirotora's zanpaktou spirit)Roaring at them from behind Dante and also allows him to move at Super high making him move so fast he could sonido/shunpo all the way from Las noches to the back of the Menos Forest in 1 sonido/Shunpo and finally he has a Hierro and all Espada level powers and strength and can send any1 or thing to hell to be tortured for all eternity which is impossible to escape and has the power of a DemiGod allowing him to Defy all laws of Pyhsics and gravity and can do things such as destroy Anything he wants to and also has access to Hell's Army and the DemiGod and Angel Army making him a UnGodly opponent(in other words defeating him is like trying to defeat Sephiroth in KH2 on proud mode with at level 1 with the crappiest keyblade ever and with no grothwth abilties,magic and potions)**  
**Dante:Now that you're done explaining my AWESOMENESS!**  
**HDiablo:i could tell them your weaknesses -_-**  
**Dante:what weaknesses?**  
**HDiablo: oh ya u got nun xD**  
**Dante:1 more thing...I CAN/WILL AND SHALL BREAK LAW OF ANIME #45 Look it up!**

Mai:Okay! Thats pretty descriptive.

Kenpachi:That law is unbreakable! I've tried!

Mai:Haven't you ever watched Dragon Ball Z?

Jushiro:I'm nervous! We haven't even been married yet!

Mai:Me and Byakuya are getting married in a chapter or two.

Jushiro:Not next time?

Mai:Nah. That's too soon. I think I should describe my zanpakuto. In her unreleased form Kuraiki actually looks like Ichi's but with purple instead. In her released form, she is two long, black kunai with purple inscriptions connected by an ever extending, black chain. My zanpakuto's abilities are teleportation, time manipulation, control over darkness and illusions, and fire. Her element is fire and darkness. Her attacks are Murasaki Shi(purple death), Hi Bouyaku(fire oblivion), and Osoi Shi(slow death). With time manipulation and illusions, I can basically torture people for a very long time. Kuraiki is also a meanie evil demon vampire!

Kuraiki:Be quiet child.

Mai:Legally I am an adult.

Kuraiki:It should be illegal for you.

Mai:Why aren't you respectful to me like the other zanpakuto?

Kuraiki:To earn my respect, you have to be able to spell at the level of a kindergartner.

Mai:Damn! She's so mean Byaku-boo!

Byakuya:*shaking zanpakuto*What's wrong Senbonzakura?

Senbonzakura:That lady is a ball-busting, bitchy, evil, cruel harpie!

Kuraiki:Come here you miserable fuck!

Senbonzakura:*runs to his sword*

Jushiro:Okay. Next time we will have Sesshomaru, Zommari Leroux and Aaroniero Arruruerie.

Mai:Those are weird names.

Jushiro:They sure are.


	34. Sesshomaru, Zommari, Aaroniero

Jushiro:Welcome back everyone.

Mai:This is my house so of course I would return!

Jushiro:Nice to know Mai-chan!

Ulquiorra:Very nice. **Animefan0410:**

**Woo! You guess right on the other two..And yeah, I'm not claiming Ktsumi, I'm giving her over to you. And Aaroniero..I don't like you because you killed Kaien. He was pretty awesome..And by the way, your release form is ugly and creepy as hell, you just make me think of some weird ass tentacle monster. So stay away from all girl Japanese high schools! (..Couldn't resist the joke XD)**

**The only reason why I did that to you Ulquiorra is because, I just don't think you're all that great. And I don't get why you have fan girls. You're ugly, pale as hell, and depressing as can be. And I have a question for Zomari..Where does your name come from? It definitely doesns't sound Japanese..At least I think**

Mai:Hooray!

Katsumi:So you've abandoned me.

Kenpachi:That means you're up for grabs and I'm takin' you.

Katsumi:Ugh. Don't try that lovey dovey romance shit on me.

Kenpachi:*chuckles*

Aaroniero:Kaien died because he couldn't beat me. I beat him and devoured his soul fair and square.

Mai:It wasn't all that fair.

Aaroniero:It isn't creepy, ugly, and tentaclish!

Mai:Thats what she said!

Grimmjow:Seriously Mai? Not even me.

Mai:Ever since you claimed Grimmjow Jr. you've changed!

Ulquiorra:I don't know why I have fangirls, but they are annoying.

Mai:I think you have fangirls because they always compare to Grimmjow.*points at Grimmjow chasing his tail in Resurreccion*Come on. He would be the deep, poetic guy and Grimmjow would be the....

Soi Fon:Jock?

Mai:Yeah, the star of some team.

Grimmjow:I almost caught the fucker this time!

Mai:Please tell me you didn't release to try and catch your tail.

Grimmjow:No! There always a swishy lil' bastard stalking me when I fight or release. SO I decided to catch him! I almost got him this time!

Mai:*face slaps*

Zommari:My name is-

Mai:I think it's French because of your last name, Leroux. It could be that you are from the South, Louisiana or New Orleans or something like that, where African Americans are of French descent. katizo terusei:

**Charisei: *jaw drops* oh. my. god.  
Katizo: *eyes widen*  
Karahime: great job Grimmy! look what you did! wait...  
Kat&Char: NEW MOON! GRIMMJOW WINS! MIKAZUKI!  
Karahime: ugh! why am i surrounded by Twilight saga fans?  
Katizo: cause you loves us.  
Charisei: *giggles* oh hey batman!  
Katizo: your safe they went back into their 'homes'  
Charisei: Wait where's Gaara?  
Katizo: *starts crying* D-Did he...Grimmy Jr...oh no!  
Karahime: it's okay. GRIMMJOW CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN!  
Katizo: *giggles* LORD SESSHOMARU! (Kat likes Inuyasha. weird right. Char too.) *glomps* *smiles* *braids hair*  
Karahime: y-you HAD to bring them!! *points at other 2 guests* they are GAH! MOMMA!  
Charisei & Hime's mom: What? Oh gosh not them! Hime's had nightmares because of you two!  
Charisei: uh hehe hi mom!  
C&H mom: WHERE IS HE!!  
Charisei: apparently he's batman now.  
C&H mom: *goes to kill real batman*  
Katizo: Char. your mom is one scary bitch.  
Charisei: mhhmm**

Grimmjow:Oh yeah. Like the Twilight movies! I fucking hate those movies.

Mai:I didn't like number one. In fact I walked out of the theater right in the middle of the first one and don't even want to see the second.

Ulquiorra:Are you my catwoman Charisei?

Kuraiki:Well, you guys should lay off the role playing. She still hasn't pushed out the first kid.

Mai:Will you go home!?

Kuraiki:*spits on floor*Disgusting.

Mai:Loves ya, Kuraiki!

Kuraiki:I would wish for you to burn in hell, but that would mean me having to accompany you.

Gaara:I'm here Katizo! I was on a break.

Grimmjow:Good because if it was my son Mai would have had to called social services on my ass.

Byakuya:Your mother compare to Mai's mother! That why she's not pregnant because if she told me if I knocked up her daughter, she smack poor!

Mai:That is quite a feat.

Byakuya:She's tried to, but I did what you asked and ran.

Mai:Good boy!*pats head*

Byakuya:*nods***lunar princess21:**

**...cat in the hat jr...dear God in heaven... he mated, there's comes another scar in my mind...i'll get over it...eventually =_=. Wow cool, a contest lets see...my weapon is a zanpaktou: it's a katana and has a baby blue coloured handle and a black sheath, i carry it around on my back because i don't like it on my side...it hurts.  
Her name is Miko, she's looks about 19-21 years old, sounds like a woman huh? yea she is but when she dosen't have her way she throws a fit like a little child espicially when you tell her that nothin in her little fantasy world will come tru. Her shikai is a naginata with a light brown handle, a red ribbon on the middle and a white one on the end, also I wanted to learn Bankai BUT she dosen't want to teach me it because she thinks i'm still a kid *she should do a review of herself and then talk back to me* and Katsumi san, hope you'll be happy with Ken chan and live happy, later nyoron.**

Mai:Your zanpakuto is the complete opposite of mine. Kuraiki puts me down and ruins my little fantasy world.

Kuraiki:Its because you have so many dreams that are never going to come true.

Mai:You said that I would never marry Byakuya when I was an academy student and look at me now!*sticks out tongue*

Kenpachi:She should be happy.

Katsumi:Happy enough. How about I show you some happiness?*drags him*

Mai:Not to my room you nasties!

Byakuya:I haven't even stepped foot in your room.

Mai's mom:Sabes que.(you know what)You can go in there, but it will be alone cuz no way in hell you are getting my little girl pregnant! Not like the others! I'll slap you... I don't know! It'll be terrible! **RainingSun:**

**Hi! I'm back! *waves energetically* I'm not sick anymore!  
Izuru: Wait! Don't jinx it!! Knock on wood.  
Me: *knocks on wood* Phew. Thank you Mai-chan for trying to help! (Even though someone *eyes move to Izuru* wouldn't let you, it was nice you tried :])**

****

Yeah! They are weird names!!

OMG!~ SESSHOMARU!! You were my first anime crush, btw! Omg, I got a guinea pig in like grade 5 or something, and named him Lord Sesshomaru! ...But then he died. On his birthday. *cries* Lord Sesshomaru!! I miss you! *wipes tears and regains composure* I'm okay now! Lol. Umm, why do you wear that giant furry caterpillar on your shoulder? (My friend and I call it a giant furry caterpillar, inside joke) WOAH! Random flashback moment from Inuyasha movie! *Flashbacks of Rin and Jakken "Lord Sesshomaru! Lord Sesshomaru! Lord Sesshomaru!"* *"I, Sesshomaru, have no one to protect"* *dun dun dun* Lol, random eh? I know I'm weird. I think it was from Movie #3 or something. I saw it a few years ago. So why the hell am I remembering it now?! Anyway...

Aaroniero Arrurerie, which one of you is Aaroniero and which one is Arrurerie? And, HOW DARE YOU TORTURE RUKIA LIKE THAT BY PRETENDING TO BE KAIEN?! SHAME ON YOU!

Zommari, uhh... Actually I can't think of a question for you right now.

**Well, that's all. Byeebye!~**

Mai:I'm happy your not sick no more! Izuru, you should have let me help more!

Sesshomaru:Thank you for trying to honor me by naming a pet.

Mai:Is that how he would respond?

Jushiro:I don't know!

Mai:Very random thought, but we all have them!

Aaroniero:Both of us are Aaroniero Arrurerie.

Mai:*shakes head wildly*No!

Aaroniero:It was survival.

Mai:You didn't survive.

Aaroniero:I think I know that. **HurricaneDiablo:**

**Who wants to fight me and get fucked up!?!?  
HDiablo:*sigh*just because you're very strong doesn't mean you should brag...  
Dante:Oh come on it's listed in law that i have bragging rights over EVERYTHING cept you and my little bro -_-  
HDiablo:anyway does anyone want to fight Dante?he is being a pain in da ass so i suggest you pick someone strong who can kill him because he is immune to light,darkness and elemental attacks or Mind crap like Aizen and Zomarri you're so gay with ur head rolling sht and ArraoNirreo(srry i cant spell)what are you mentally toturing rukia with Kaien's face?**

Jushiro:I don't!

Mai:I do!

Jushiro:He'll mop the floor with you, Mai! Immunity to darkness and fire, remember!

Mai:I got time on my side.

Zommari:I am not gay.

Mai:You tried to force your love on my Byakuya! Too bad he was too busy taking mine!*kisses him all over*

Byakuya:*blushes*

Zommari:-

Mai:MINE!

Aaroniero:I was just trying to win.

Mai:You did it for fun.

Jushiro:Lying bastard.*chokes him*How dare you not only take the life of my lieutenant, but you insult his name by using it!? Then you torture another of my subordinates!

Mai:Who is also Byakuya's sister.*nudges Byakuya awaken*

Byakuya:Oh yeah. You fuck face.

Mai:Very emotionally. I'ma go fight.*goes to fight Dante*

Byakuya:Since Jushiro is busy choking the walking fish tanked freak, I will close off the chapter. Next time expect Cirucci Sanderwicci and Gantenbainne Mosqueda. We are very sorry Cirucci did not make her appearance in this chapter. There is an explanation for that, but...

Jushiro:*punching Aaroniero*You. Are. A. Lazy. Ass Byakuya.

Byakuya:You have anger issues.

Jushiro:She's your sister and you're not protecting her!

Byakuya:It's already been handled so...

Jushiro:La-z-y ass.


	35. Announcement

Mai:Hello everyone. This is an announcement we are making. There will be no updates for a bit. We are on a forced vacation.

Grimmjow:WHY?!

Mai:The dumb authoress is going through some stuff and there's also those tests. She said that this would be a distraction.

Grimmjow:Oh, I see. Well, sorry everyone, we are off. She will update as soon as she can.

Mai:Yup.

Ulquiorra:Wooo!*is streaking*

Mai:Get your pants on!!!

Ulquiorra:*comes back in fully clothed*Why haven't we updated?

Mai:Because Jushiro is under the weather.

Ulquiorra:Really? With what?

Mai:With bad-sicky-coughy-real-bad ummmm -itis!

Ulquiorra:Is that so you lying piece of trash?

Mai:I'm not lying!

Jushiro:*comes shaking and covered up*She's not. _Cough._ Happy cinco de Mayo everyone.

Mai:I don't celebrate that!

Grimmjow:But your Mexican!

Mai:Yeah, so. Anyway! We are only supposed to say we aren't going to update for awhile and we've done that! Bye everyone.


	36. Welcome Back! With Cirucci&Gantenbainne

Mai:HALLO PEOPLES!*puts on music and throws confetti*

Jushiro:We are back!

Ulquiorra:We are, but there's no need for the excitement and Mai, you are to sweep that up.

Mai:Whatever! It'll clean itself!

Ulquiorra:It will not clean itself.

Mai:Oh yeah! Than how come whenever we leave and then come back a few minutes later, it's gone!

Ulquiorra:Because I clean it!

Jushiro:Stop being such a party pooper! We have just returned from a long, long break and you-

Mai:You are already bitchin'!

Jushiro:Exactly.

Cirucci:Can we get on with this thing? **Heir of Schiffer:**

**Hey there! Sorry I was a little late about the whole Zanpakutou thing.**

****

He is Kore Made Souru o Henko Suru (Ever Changing Soul) His release command is 'funsai tamashi' (shatter the soul) His Shikai looks just like the regular sealed state, which is just a black and white blade, except, should I choose, and if I have fought with that person, I can use another Zanpakutou's attack and my blade will take on the form of that sword and I don't have to be fighting that person at that time. Whether the person knows their Zanpakutou's name or not, I learn Shikai and Bankai for that Zanpakutou. Top that.

For example, when I fought Ichigo and Gin last night (it was behind the scenes, so nobody knew) I gained their Zanpakutou's abilities, and am currently training with Urahara to gain control. And that means... I got Urahara's Shikai and Bankai too! The same goes for Arrancar's Zanpakuto, father. I have that fool Grimmjow's Resurrecion as well. Now, Charisei, before you get pissed at my father, realize that I am his child from when he was alive and I have died now as well and am a rogue Shinigami, so take that Soul Society! Kenpachi, you'll be some fun, so let's go and have a good fight.

I suppose I should let you know, my Bankai is the same as my Shikai, except that it only works only on the person that I am fighting, but it let's me add the maximum amount of power that that person has at any point and add it to my own considerable amount of power.

Now, since you idiots have not yet killed Aizen, I am going to go fight him and gain the Kyoka Suigetsu, after my and Kenny's fight of course.

I'm not going to even bother fighting either of you, as both of your Resurrecions suck. I'll just kill you both again with Bala, as you aren't worthy enough to be killed by a Cero.

**I'm going to kill that damn cat in the hat if it's the last thing I do! Juushiro, would you kindly assist me? There's a big money reward for you if you do. IT. MUST. DIE! *runs off toward the Cat in the Hat with my sword in Zangetsu form***

Mai:It's okay!

Kenpachi:Alright, lets fight! Make a good one!

Mai:Grimmy kitty! You're dumb!

Grimmjow:I am not dumb! You are!

Mai:That's not what that high school diploma on the wall says, high school drop out!

Grimmjow:Your mom!

Mai:At least my mom made to tenth grade!

Grimmjow:It's Aizen's fault.

J.J.:We should jump him after school! Ohhh. My bad Grimmjow.

Grimmjow:I know for sure you aren't gonna make it! You are probably dumber than me!

J.J.:Thats not what my preschool diploma says.

Grimmjow:Prick.

Jushiro:Cat in the Hat's dead, we are going for his son.

Mai:You don't have the guts to do Shiro-kun.

Jushiro:I do!

Mai:Nu-uh. Every time you see something about to die, you take pity on it and don't finish it.

Jushiro:That isn't true.

Mai:What about that bug?

Jushiro:I was letting him enjoy his last few minutes in this cruel world!

Mai:Mhm. Sure. Heir-san, please make sure to end his life before Shiro-kun see him. He gets really emotional so don't listen to his pleading. We need to get rid of all nuisances before the weddings.

Jushiro:Speaking of that, where is Byakuya?

Mai:The sap got trapped into going over the wedding! Haha.

Gantenbainne:Isn't that a woman's job?

Mai:He said I would make it ghetto...

Gantenbainne:Only because you would. **LilyGirl101:**

***due to the amazing power of FF, is a third of the way through the pregnancy* Sorry I didn't review last time, but a virus completely crashed our computer and then when I finally got on...two chapters had passed! :-o**

****

Aw, I missed Sesshomaru's chapter! :-( *heartfelt sigh* He's so awesome...*snaps out of it* Can I pet his tail thingy? *wide eyes* He's so cool...actually, Mai-chan, rather than thanking her for honouring him by naming her pet after him, he would probably kill her to soiling his good name by applying it to a stupid animal. :-p 'Cause he's snooty like that!

Dares this time: Mai-chan, I dare you to crash some famous person's party with a bulldozer. Bya-nii-chan,I dare you to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel. Zaki-chan, read that awesome story I wrote about your zanpakuto as she waits for you to hear her name. Katsumi-chan...I can't think of any dares for you. Jow-chan, you're still my pet, because I missed you the first time around. Ul-chan...read your diary out loud in front of all the other Espada. Shiro-chan, I dare you to...*goes over and cuddles him* Oh, never mind...

:-D I love you, Shiro-chan! *hugs him* I'm glad that you lived to have children, and even more glad that I'm your girl! *kisses him* Oh, Mai-chan is right! We need to come up with names for them! Everybody, come up with one boy name and one girl name! We'll pick our two favorite names, and those'll be the names of our children! *hugs Shiro-chan* They should be born in about two or three chapters! :-O By the way, Shiro-chan, we have to get married before then, or my parents will come down and kill you!

**Signed with love and licks,  
Lily-chan**

Cirucci:A third way? I don't even want to know.

Jushiro:*jumping up and down in excitement*

Mai:I knew we would mess up. We always mess up. Even on people from this show.*sighs in disappointment*

Jushiro:Go ahead and pet him my love! If he objects I rip him to little pieces.

Mai:Crashing parties is my specialty!*goes to crash Justin Bieber's*You suck!*throws very odd foods at him*Baby faced mother-

Jushiro:Why do you hate him?

Mai:Something about him ticks me off.

Byakuya:I will see, but I won't like it.

Mai:Byakun, you love that movie. You've watched twenty times.

Byakuya:I can't help it! That Alvin sings so beautifully.

Kenpachi:Dammit. Your story makes me feel a bad about ignoring my zanpakuto.

Jushiro:Then listen to it.

Kenpachi:Nah. I'll wait a little longer.

All:*fall all at the same time that seems to only happen in animes*

Mai:*looks around*Where is Katsumi?

Kenpachi:Meh-

Mai:*smacks forehead*Don't tell me you broke up?

Kenpachi:No. We don't have to be around each other _all _the time. Well at night we do. If you know what I mean.

Jushiro:I have no clue... Oh! Wait, now I do.

Mai:A bit slow today aren't we?

Grimmjow:*goes to be her pet*

Mai:Man, Soi Fon's more patient than I thought.

Jushiro:Apparently not because she's tearing his stuff apart.

Ulquiorra:*smiles*

J.J.:Why are smiling?

Ulquiorra:It makes my heart warm to see all of Grimmjow's precious belongings on fire. Look! There goes his precious hair gel.

Jushiro:Read your dare. Thats bound to make you your usual depressed self.

Ulquiorra:*reads*Great.

Mai:Read it to us too!

Ulquiorra:Why not?*goes to read diary to Espada*

Jushiro:I am so lucky to even have a girl like you. Two or three chapters? I'm not ready!

Mai:Whoopie. We get to come up with more names.

Kenpachi:You sound as unenthusiastic as Ulquiorra, Mai. Cheer up or I'll kick your ass.

Mai:And you are supposed run an anger management group?

Jushiro:Here's a boy's name. Yasuo, the Peaceful One, and a girl's, Keiko, Blessing.

Mai:Boy's name Rya, Dragon. Girl's name, Amarante, Flower That Never Fades.

Grimmjow:Girl's name Nariko, Thunder. A boy's name I would have picked if Jr. weren't so picky would be, Arashi. It means storm.

Ulquiorra:Girl's, Nami which means Wave. A boy's, Harou, which means waves. I've been thinking about waves a lot recently...

Kenpachi:Amaya, Night Rain, for a girl. For a boy, Daisuke, Great Help.

Byakuya:Emiko, Beautiful Child, for a girl. Hayate for a boy. It means sudden.

Gantenbainne:For a girl Kata, it means worthy. Hiroshi for a boy, which means generous.

Cirucci:A good girl's name would be Kaori, Strong. A good boy's name would be Morio, Protector.

Mai:We aren't too sure about the definitions. Hope this helps you two. **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: *hugs Gaara* don't EVER scare me like that again. you do and i'll either let the fangirls get you or kill you with Loraname.  
Charisei: Ulqui! Your so weird! *giggles*  
Karahime: *bows polietly* hello  
Katizo: *kicks Hime* get the stick out of your ass! Cirucci-chan is a girl like us. she knows we can be silly sometimes.  
Charisei: what Kat said! omg! Cirucci i LOVE your hair! i wish mine would curl like that.  
Katizo: and those emo tear drop things. PERFECT! *hugs*  
Karahime: oh and Addie-san. a long time ago we were promised Chad-kun would come back but he never did. Kat has been having panic attacks because of it.  
Katizo: SHUT UP HIME!  
*crying*  
Katizo: SHIT! *runs to other room*  
Charisei: i told you to stop yelling! it would wake them up!  
Katizo: *holding the twins* oh shush! besides they needed to come and visit.  
Kokaro: Da-da! *reaches for Gaara*  
Kaminari: Mi mi! *reaches for Mai***

Gaara:I'm sorry!

Ulquiorra:*blushes*

Cirucci:Girls will be girls right?*winks at them*My hair naturally curls like this.

Mai:Then what's with the curler in your bag?

Cirucci:What's with the stick up your boyfriend's ass!

Mai:I have no clue. But I still love him! Oh and Chad will be here! We apologize for the wait.

Gaara:Ohhh. Look at my perfect, adorable, sweet children.*holds Kokaro*

Mai:*points in Ulquiorra's face*Ha! People do trust me with their children!*snuggles Kaminari*

Ulquiorra:I never said they didn't.

Jushiro:Its okay to be jealous Ulquiorra. You are going to have your own anyway.

Ulquiorra:Has my child been born yet?

Jushiro:You should know!

Mai:COMMERCIAL BREAK!

*_Scene is at a boring birthday party. _

_Narrator:Are your child's parties like this. Boring as hell and in need of some kick ass excitement?_

_Child:Yes!_

_Narrator:Well, we've got just the thing sport! Here's the Q&A Party crew! Too much trouble breaking that pinata! _

_Kids:*nod yes*_

_Narrator:Here's Kenpachi!_

_Kenpachi:*obliterates pinata*_

_Narrator:Errr... Candy shortage? Jushiro's your man then!_

_Jushiro:*passes out his never ending supply*_

_Narrator:Lighting the candles a lot of work? Here's Mai to solve the problem!_

_Mai:*lights cake ablaze*Errmmmm... My bad!_

_Narrator:We even got a couple of clowns!_

_Grimmjow:WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARIN' AT, YA DAMNED BRATS!_

_Byakuya:THIS IS A SNAKE! ARE YOU BLIND?*throws kid a balloon*_

_Ulquiorra:*showing a kid a razor blade*Now you see, child trash, you can't cut too deeply. You will die.*gives child blade*Have fun. Dear lord knows I won't._

_Narrator:Seee? Very fun **and** educational! **Funucational!** Make your reservations now!_

_Mai:Or we'll find you._

_Another Commercial:_

_Narrator:WATER BABIES WATER BABIES WATER BABIES_

_Byakuya:*feigned curiosity*What are they?_

_Narrator:They are WATER BABIES! BUY NOW NOW NOW!_

_Byakuya:*looks up with bored expression*Yeah. Buy them._

_Narrator:WATER BABIES!*_

Jushiro:What in the heck was that, Mai?

Mai:We need funding and money doesn't sprout on trees!

Jushiro:Funny thing is that I don't remember doing that commercial.

Mai:Because you didn't I just recorded J.J. birthday party and another little kid's.

Jushiro:Oh yeah. That poor little kid...

Mai:WATER BABIES! **Souygo no kotowari1012:**

**O_o wow you update fast... Sorry i didn't upsate last chapter! I had paperwork, homework, school trips, more paperwork and homework. My life is busy,  
That and i was being chased by that creep from Squad twelve O_o**

**Creep from squad twelve: Let me run some tests on that cat!  
Me: *Grabs Grimmjow jr* YOU CAN'T HAVEZ HIM! *Starts running*  
I strangely don't have any questions, i have a couple of dares though...i dare everyone to sing Riot by Three Days Grace, and i dare Curruci to Walk up to Uryu and just randomly Kiss him...  
Grimmjow Jr: *yawns* yo backpack is not very comfy, and i actually learned today *Yawns again*  
Me: that's why it's called school, stupid head.  
Grimmjow Jr: I swear if freaky man touches me it's yo fault, ka-peeche?  
Me: *Asleep***

Mai:We understand. We've been busy for a whole freaking month!

Grimmjow:Thats my son, you freak! You need to a signature from me and some cash.

Soi Fon:You're a bad dad.

Grimmjow:You're an even worse mom.

Soi Fon:We aren't having children.

Mai:Singing time!

Jushiro:If you feel so empty  
So used up, so let down  
If you feel so angry  
So ripped off so stepped on  
You're not the only one  
Refusing to back down  
You're not the only one  
So get up

Grimmjow:Let's start a riot, a riot  
Let's start a riot  
Let's start a riot, a riot  
Let's start a riot

Mai:If you feel so filthy  
So dirty so fucked up  
If you feel so walked on  
So painful so pissed off  
You're not the only one  
Refusing to go down  
You're not the only one  
So get up

Ulquiorra:Let's start a riot, a riot  
Let's start a riot  
Let's start a riot, a riot  
Let's start a riot

Kenpachi:If you feel so empty  
So used up, so let down  
If you feel so angry  
Just get up

Cirucci:Let's start a riot, a riot  
Let's start a riot  
Let's start a riot, a riot  
Let's start a riot

Mai:You gotta kiss Uryu now!

Cirucci:Fine.*kisses Uryu and sticks her tongue in his mouth*

Uryu:*has a nosebleed and faints*

Cirucci:Nerd.

Mai:He is definitely a virgin! Ooo, Souygo-chan, send Junior to the authoress' school as a punishment for not updating quick!

Grimmjow:You cruel, cruel ho. Hey there is nothing wrong with my kid. What's so wrong about being with him? Prostitute!

Mai:Your child is evil and would be evil to her, man whore!

Grimmjow:Slut!

Mai:Hooker!

Grimmjow:Skank!

Mai:Lets leave your momma out of this!

Grimmjow:You bitch!*attacks Mai*

Byakuya:Back up fucking bitch!*fights Grimmjow*

Jushiro:Break it up! What is wrong with everyone here? **Animefan0410:**

**..As a nice little fact about Aaroniero. He's two hollows in one. The one on top is Aaroniero, and the one on the bottom is Arrurerie. That was the one with the screechy high pitched wanty, posessive voice.**

**..And I must say Cirucci..Your weapon is rather..*clears throat* kinky, because essentially, people are thinking whip half the time lol..And awesome, it's Gantenbaine. You are an awesome fighter**

Mai:WHAT? I did not know that. Thank you very much!

Cirucci:Kinky?

Mai:Kinky is like sexy. My friend's name is Kinkie!

Jushiro:Who would name their child Kinkie?

Mai:Thats like her tagging name or her nickname.

Grimmjow:I wanna meet her!

Mai:Shut it!

Cirucci:You wanna see how kinky it could be?*winks at Animefan*

Mai:That sounds wrong.

Jushiro:It is wrong Mai-chan.

Gantenbainne:Thank you.

Mai:Yeah. He lost like a man and admitted it.

Gantenbainne:Yeah thanks...

Kenpachi:You got your ass handed to you. **HurricaneDiablo:**

**HDiablo:look at Dis Action!  
Dante runs at Mai with a sephiroth like stance and stabs her through the stomaching and then kicking her into the air then quickly pursuing not giving her any chance to react let alone defend herself and then OUCH dats gotta hurt Hado#31 Shakkaho to her Mid Section (which would've been her head)  
3nd person POV-Dante is slashing at Mai before knocking her into the air and charging a Cero  
Dante:Die and stay that way with tht gay azz cat in the hat freak!  
Dante fires da cero and completely oblitrates Mai but uses his powers to bring her back from hell  
Dante:I win of course hell i didn't even need my Shikai let alone bankai that was suckish Mai -_- Byakuya or Zaraki which 1 of you are strong enough to not practially die like Mai and thats all until sombody else has the guts to challenge Me!  
HDiablo:*sigh*go train some more so you can KEEP those bragging rights.**

Mai:I lost.. But I did do good in the beginning!

Jushiro:No you didn't.

Mai:You guys wouldn't know because I stopped time and was kicking his frozen ass! But before I could do some real damage I forgot dark type and fire type moves don't work on him and wasted all my energy on my badass finisher that didn't affect him. After that I couldn't keep my grasp on time and being exhausted I got my ass kicked. I admit it at least.

Jushiro:That and you have gotten a little out of shape.

Mai:Are you calling me fat?

Jushiro:No! You aren't fat.

Mai:Yeah. I thought so. I need to train more... Can I train with you Dante? Everyone goes easy on me for some reason-

All:*look at Byakuya and hide the money behind their backs*

Mai:Yeah... I know you wouldn't take a bribe and I'm gettin' soft.

Kenpachi:I'll challenge you. I ain't as easy as Mai though.

Mai:Shut up! You took the bribe too! Byakuya stop doing that! You payed off Addie's teachers too!

Byakuya:No I didn't...

Mai:There is absolutely no way she can have a C when she doesn't work and the bitch hates her!

Byakuya:**Segunda Etapa:**

**You guys made a mistake last chapter. Kaien wasn´t killed by Aaroniero, but was posessed by another hollow, called Metastacia, which was in turn absorbed by Aaroniero. Sorry if this might sound rude, but please check the facts before you write something.**

****

CIRUCCI-CHAN! * glomps and falls on top of her * * while blushing * Ehh, that was embarasing. Your zanpakuto has a realy awesome name. Anyway, here is a present for you. * brings in a tied to a chair Uryu * Have fun!  
Pandora: And, can you give me a few lessons on how to deal with a husband that tries to hit on other women.  
Me: It was just a missunderstanding. Cirucci, tell her.  
Pandora: Don´t think it´s over yet.

Me: Gantenbainne: You are a honorfull warrior, who wants a fair fight. I realy respect that.

Byakuya: I have to agree with Jushiro. You are lazy. you could have just released your bankai and kill him.

Jushiro: I agree with Byakuya. You have serious anger issues.

**Pandora: Well then, time to go. I still have to settle something. * grabs me and draggs me away ***

Mai:Yeah... sorry. We usually read up on everything about our guests, but I guess we were overconfident and didn't.

Cirucci:It is a misunderstanding. I don't mess with married men.

Mai:You know what you should do Pandora? You should ignore him if he does it again!

Kenpachi:So what? Not hearing a woman nag is a gift!

Mai:How about late at night?

Byakuya:I would know that pain. You're ignoring me for no reason!

Mai:I don't want to do stuff.

Byakuya:You sure? Because last week, you seemed really eager when you pushed me against the-

Mai:Be quiet, lazy ass.

Jushiro:You didn't even want to save your little sister!

Byakuya:I saved her from Zommari!

Mai:You took on the gay seventh espada. Poor Byakuya! You worked so hard.

Byakuya:I cut my own tendons!

Mai:You cut yourself anyway!

Byakuya:You see how you are all tense and frustrated? Thats sexual tension! I'll cure you.*opens door*Step into my office.

Mai:Sexual tension my ass!

Jushiro:Maybe you should go...

Mai:Fine! Just to prove sex ain't always the cure!

Jushiro:I don't have anger issues! I was very angry at the fishy tank guy.

*ten minutes later*

Mai:Hello everyone. Its so beautiful isn't it?

Byakuya:*has a cocky smirk on his face*

Grimmjow:Whore! You're not lazy when it comes to that! **Lunarprincess21:**

**cool cirucci comin, she's very pretty and i liked her zanpaktou but it was a shame that she got defeated and then had an...unfortunate death, kawaii!, shiro's going to be a father now he's going to have a child he always wanted and give him/her candy instead of toshiro...m i can't think of anything else so i'm out, peace.**

Cirucci:Thanks!

Jushiro:I know right! I'm so happy! My own little child...

Mai:Bye-bye Luna-chan! Come again!

Cirucci:Now its getting creepy.

Ulquiorra:My thoughts exactly.

Mai:If you two only knew...

Ulquiorra:Knew what?

Mai:I don't know!*gives a big happy grin*I do know someone has a diary to read to us!

Ulquiorra:Fine. March 25. Dear diary, I was invited to a trashy little Q&A. I don't even know why I'm going when I could be with my Aizen-sama! I wish everybody else would die so I could be alone with him! Why? One because he is all powerful. Two, he gave me more power. Three, he gave that big chested girl... Well bye bye diary. Love, Ulqui

Jushiro:... That sure is something Ulquiorra...

Mai:Read another entry!

Ulquiorra:Dear Diary, I have learned the truth! I now have reasons to hate Aizen. One, he's a pedophile weirdo. Two, he's got me killed. Three, Orihime is annoying. I learned to appreciate the trashy Q&A and all its... specialness... Plus there are cute girls here. Hate, Ulquiorra Schiffer

Mai:I wanna rock right now! I wanna, I wanna rock right now!

Grimmjow:Now she's singing!

Mai:*sing Rock that Body by Black Eyed Peas*I wanna rock right now  
I wanna I wanna rock right now  
I wanna I wanna rock right now  
now now rock right now  
I wanna I wanna rock right now  
I wanna I wanna rock right now  
I wanna I wanna rock right noooow!

I wanna da I wanna dance in the lights  
I wanna ro I wanna rock your body  
I wanna go I wanna go for a ride  
Hop in the music and rock your body right

Rock that body come on come on  
Rock that body rock your body  
Rock your body come on come on  
Rock that body  
Rock that body come on come on  
Rock that body rock your body  
Rock your body come on come on  
Rock that body

Let me see your body drop  
Shaking it from the bottom to top  
Break to what the DJ drop  
We be the ones to make it hot  
To make it hot  
Electric shock  
Energy like a billion watts  
Face be boomen the speakers pop  
Galactic comb and missed a spot  
We bumpen in your

Parking lot  
When you comming up in the spot  
Don't bring nothing we call we got  
Cause we burnin around the clock  
Hit the lights then turn them off  
If euglena don't make you stop  
Like the jungle we run the block  
No one rollin the way we rock  
way we rock... I don't feel like singing the rest!

Ulquiorra:Thank God! I don't like the Black Eyed Peas.

Mai:I'm pretty sure they don't like you!

Ulquiorra:Probably not.

Jushiro:Alright. It's time to go bye bye! Next time Chad. Yes just Chad.


	37. Guest:Chad

Jushiro:Hello everyone!

Mai:Heya!

Jushiro:Don't sing that song, Mai.

Mai:I was saying hello, Shiro. Chad got any comments.

Chad:...

Mai:Of course you don't! You don't like to talk much, I've noticed.

Chad:**LilyGirl101:**

***is dancing to "Let's Dance" and "Can't Be Tamed" by Miley Cyrus* Hey, you're back! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!* starts to jump then falls down* Whoops...forgot...pregnant...**

****

Whoa...Bya-nii-chan actually LIKES Alvin and the Chipmunks? Weird... *pets Grimmjow* Ah, Soi Fon, don't do that! It's my fault for making him do the dare. If you dare to, you can take your anger out on me ^_^ Come at me...I dare ya. Sorry 'bout that Ul-chan...couldn't resist...:-O THAT'S what Ul-chan's diary is like? Whoa...sounds like my little brother's...

Aw, thanks for those names, everybody! Those are all wonderful! I'll announce next chapter (whenever that is) which ones I have decided to keep! ^_^ They're all wonderful!

Oh my god that comercial was hilarious! *rofl* I think I will make reservations...:-p OH MY GOD I LOVE RIOT! I LOVE THREE DAYS GRACE! SO DAMN MUCH! *dances awkwardly* OK, gotta sit down now...Hey, I have a character in one of my stories named Kinky! It's her nickname too, though. She is a kinky one, though...teehee.

You know, I go to Zaki-chan's anger management classes (don't you dare ask or so help me I will unleash my zanpakuto on your ass). He is actually very effective! ^_^ The motto of the group is: "If violence isn't solving your problems, you aren't using enough of it". :-D How genius is that!

Signed with love and licorice,

Lily-chan

**P.S.-Update faster this time!**

Jushiro:Be careful darling!

Byakuya:Yes, little sister, I do.

Soi Fon:I can't hurt a pregnant woman!

Jushiro:You wouldn't dare.

Ulquiorra:That was my diary when my first few weeks here.

Mai:Your welcome for the songs. I recommend you book us for people you don't like.

Grimmjow:I don't see why! I'm a badass clown!

Ulquiorra:Too bad for a child's party.

Mai:I like Three Day's Grace too. Actually you reviewers got me into it! My favorite is Pain. Uh-oh. My Kinkie and your Kinky are gonna have to fight for the name now!

Kinkie:Damn right! Meet me at the park!

Grimmjow:I can see why they call you Kinkie.

Soi Fon:Now you are checking out other girls!

Grimmjow:I think we're through now, Soi Fon. It's over.

Soi FOn:*kicks Grimmjow's ass*Now it's over, mother fucker.*leaves*

Mai:Damn! You got knocked the fuck out!

Jushiro:It is true. Lily-chan, our wedding is next chapter okay?

Mai:It better be because we already preparing everything! That motto makes perfect sense!

Grimmjow:Can't fight that logic. Cuz if you try, we'll kick your ass.

Mai:Yup! Sorry for the wait everyone, but the author's life got even busier. Shocking she even has one!*is hit by lightening*

Jushiro:**katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: YAY! *hugs everyone***

****

Charisei: *sighs* Kat had a heart attack when she saw that you updated

Katizo: Nuh-uh! If I did then I would be dead! *hugs Chad*

Karahime: *holds her head* I'm surrounded by bakas

Char & Kat: *glare at Hime*

Kokaro: *sitting on floor with Kaminari and another baby* *giggles*

Katizo: Where did that one come from? *points at other baby*

Charisei: er...I think it's Szayel's and Nnoitra's

Katizo: But how-

Karahime: Szayel is a girl

Katizo: oh! what about the baby on the couch?

Charisei: That's mine and Ulqui's, Baby Suriko. *holds her*

Suriko: *sleeping*

Katizo: aww! oh Chad, why is your powers like a hollows?

Charisei: yeah that's what it said on wikipedia

Karahime: If you got them from strawberry then shouldn't they be based on something other than a hollow? like a shinigami!

Katizo: *sighs* It is all very confusing

Zombie Nnoitra: where is my baby?

Katizo: *screams and hits him in head with a frying pan*

Cat in the hat jr. jr.: Hello!

Charisei: *takes frying pan from Kat* *hits Cat in the hat jr. jr.*

**Karahime: ...today is weird**

Chad:Hi.

Ulquiorra:Hello my little child.*picks up Suriko and smiles*

Mai:Tender and love moment.*takes picture*

Grimmjow:I am the only one creeped out by the fact Nnoitra and Syzeal had a baby. I know for sure he is a guy.

Mai:I do too. Unfortunately...

Grimmjow:How do you know?

Mai:Its a story too tragic to tell.

Chad:Hmmmmm. It might have to do with Ichigo's power.

Mai:Duh! Maybe you got the hollow side of his powers because your arm does look like Ichi's left arm in hollow form. Doesn't it?

Chad:That would make sense.

Jushiro:Everyday is special in it's own way! **seconda etapa:**

**Seconda: YO!**

****

Pandora: HI!

Seconda: Well, good thing Pandora has overcome her jealousy.

Pandora: I was never jealous.

Seconda: Whatever.

Mayuri: Souygo no kotowari1012: Who from my division chased you? I have made clear that I´m the only one who can chase test subjects.

Szayel: Karahime: ( with brown hair and black clothes ) WHO ARE YOU CALLING A WOMAN!

**Seconda: Calm down. Well Mai, glad you guys updated. Till next time. And pay my Q+A a visit if you like. BYE! * everyone leaves ***

Mai:Yeah. You shouldn't be because it was all a mistake!

Grimmjow:You aren't getting my son either!

Mai:Szayel, just because you change your clothes and dye your hair... You look like Kifune Makoto!

All:Who?

Mai:That guy that was 3rd seat of Izuru's squad for a very short time. I think his squad is cursed.

Izuru:*comes sulking in*Probably...

Mai:I'm glad I got out of there as soon as possible.

Jushiro:We will pay you a visit!** Heir of Schiffer:**

**Chad-san! You are awesome, too bad you couldn't take on Nnoitra, but Kenny was so badass in that fight!**

****

So, we are done with the Cat-in-the-Hat, now his son... yeah, I think I already killed that one too. That could have been the thing I sliced up that jumped me. I think we are safe now.

That was one of the funnest fights I've ever had, Kenny! We should have fights like that more often! Thanks for the Zanpakutou abilities, they are amazing!

**Grimmjow, you piece of trash, don't argue the point! You are dumber than hell, don't deny it!**

Chad:He was too strong I guess.

Mai:All the nuisances are gone!

Jushiro:You wouldn't be so happy if you saw that poor thing's last breathe! He reached to me and said,"Save me."*cries*

Kenpachi:That fight was pretty badass! Whenever I need a good fight, you are my first choice.

Grimmjow:I ain't that dumb.

Ulquiorra:Speaking of dumb, you two need to take your end of the year exams.*passes out tests*It is multiple choice and no, Mai, bubbling in A, B, and C will not give you the correct answer.

Mai:Damn!

Ulquiorra:*collects tests*Mai, you passed with a C. Grimmjow passed with a C-.

Grimmjow&Mai:*high five each other*

Grimmjow:See! I'm not dumb anymore!

Mai:It was only spelling.*her cell rings*Hello. Ichigo, don't talk so fast. I can't understand you. What? Just come over and tell me.

Ichigo:*comes bursting through the door*ME AND RUKIA ARE TOGETHER AGAIN!

Byakuya:NO! NO! Nononono! Why!

Ichigo:Because we belong together...

Byakuya:Don't talk to me! I hate you!*Runs out crying*

Ichigo:Is he going to be okay?

Mai:No, but he'll learn to tolerate you in like thirty years.

Byakuya:Mai! I hate Ichigo Kurosaki with complete entire being!

Mai:He is still here.

Byakuya:I don't care! Make him go away!

Jushiro:Now now. There is no need to kick anybody out of other people's homes.

Mai:Byakuya, this _is_ your fault.

Rukia:It's nobody's fault! We love each other.

Byakuya:Rukia! How could you say that? Did he put clothes on your back? Or a roof over your head?

Rukia:Actually yes...

Mai:Where have you been Byakuya?

Byakuya:This is a nightmare! I know it is! It has to be!

Mai:Byakun. Just go to sleep.*knocks him out*

Jushiro:Was that really necessary?

Mai:Completely. **RainingSun:**

**WHEEE~! Everyone's baack!~ ^w^**

****

So as for dares, I dare everyone to act out the Teletubbies theme song! Cast is Chad as Tinky Winky, Byakuya as Dispy, Jushiro as Laa Laa, and Mai as Po! Everyone else is background singers! Muwahaha D

OMG!~ Can you bring Gin Ichimaru on for a chapter? Pweeeaaaseee? Yay for Smiley-chan!

Izuru: *_* I-I-Ichimaru-taichouuu?

Me: *Can't tell if he's scared or super excited* Ummm.. *pats head*

**Errrr, yeaaah. That is it~ :3 Bai bai! *waves Gin-style***

Ulquiorra:*narrator person*Over the hills and far away,  
Teletubbies come to play ...  
Time for teletubbies,  
time for teletubbies,  
time for teletubbies...  
Chad:Tinkywinky. "Tinkywinky!"  
Byakuya:Dipsy. "Dipsy!"  
Jushiro:Laalaa. "Laalaa!"  
Mai:Po. "Po!"  
Teletubbies. "Teletubbies!"  
Say, Heeeeee-lo! "Eh-oh!"  
Tinkywinky. Dipsy. Laalaa. Po.  
Teletubbies. "Teletubbies!"  
Say Heeeeeee ... "Uh-oh!"  
"Where have the teletubbies gone?  
Where have the teletubbies gone?"

Mai:Haha! I have always wanted to do that! Creep smile guy will be back next chapter. Who's next, Dipsy?

Byakuya:*rolls eyes***Animefan0410:**

**..No thanks Cirucci..2. I'm not into that kind of thing, and 2. You seem like a prostitute in lolita clothing. Hurray, Chad's back again!..Out of curiosity, is there a person you have a crush on?...Possibly black hair, a bit of a tomboy and does martial arts? lol**

Mai:Well... All that is true!

Jushiro:She does seem like a hooker...

Chad:Hi. I don't really have a crush on Tatsuki.

Mai:That who he was talking about?

Jushiro:Yes, Mai-chan! Try to keep up.

Mai:Chad! I got an idea! Take her to the wedding as a date!

Chad:I guess I could do that...

Mai:See nobody will be alone now!

Jushiro:Grimmjow just broke up with Soi Fon though.

Grimmjow:But I got another girl's number.

Mai:Ladies watch out! Grimmjow's back!

Grimmjow:Hell yeah!

Kenpachi:How are you gonna get any as-I mean girls if you never got any before without help?

Grimmjow:I got confidence now!

Jushiro:Goodbye readers and reviewers. Next time is mine and Lily-chan's wedding with the guests being Gin and Izuru. Send your questions out to anybody even if they aren't mentioned as guests, like Shunsui or Retsu or-

Kenpachi:Unohana's coming?

Jushiro:Yes.

Kenpachi:Katsumi! Remember to dress extra sexy!

Katsumi:Oh. I will.

Jushiro:Yeah... Bye.


	38. Wedding:Lily and Jushiro

Mai:*crying like crazy*They grow up sooo fast!

Ulquiorra:Jushiro is over a century old and... You know what? Never mind.

Grimmjow:Guess who I brought.

Mai:Is it a prostitute or a transvestite?

Grimmjow:Nope. It's your best friend.

Mai:No.

Grimmjow:Yes.

Mai:You man whore.

Grimmjow:Come on out, Amaya aka Kinkie.

Mai:Amaya! Nooo!

Amaya:What?

Mai:You don't know what you just done...

Jushiro:Hi everyone! How do I look?

Mai:Like a million bucks Shiro-chan! **seconda etapa:**

**Seconda: * in a suit * Congrats on the wedding. * with tears ***

****

Pandora: * in a red dress * Are you crying?

Seconda: No, something got in my eye. I´m happy for you guys.

Pandora: Congrats for the wedding! Be happy from now own!

Seconda: Who would have thought that I would cry in a marriage, that isn´t my own.

Pandora: Aha! So you DID cry.

Seconda: I´m just happy to see this young people come together.

**Pandora: Well, we´ll stay and enjoy the weddings!**

Mai:*cries even more*

Amaya:I've never seen you cry this hard!

Mai:I'm just so happy!

Jushiro:Thank you very much. And we will be very happy!

Ulquiorra:But Jushiro's old. Not young.

Mai:Shut up, Ulquiorra! You're just trying to kill everyone's fun!

Gin:You should smile more. **Animefan0410:**

**Wow, quick update O.O...And Gin, if you even look at me, I'll tazer your ass, you're to creepy looking. And I'm now curious who Grimmjow's going to bring..I hope it's not a hooker or Cirucci...Wait, that's the same thing lol And now I'm going to be going to another wedding, yay I guess. Wait, if that hapoens, then we won't see Jushiro for a while because of the honey moon. Oh well lol**

Gin:Fine then.*looks everywhere else*

Grimmjow:I brought Mai's childhood friend.

Mai:You son of a... You better not hurt her.

Jushiro:Yup. That is correct! I will not be here for awhile.

Mai:Well maybe not long since Lily-chan is already pregnant and thats the whole point of a honeymoon...

Amaya:Thats not nice, but so true...

Mai:You would know.

Amaya:Nu-uh! I've never been married.

Grimmjow:But you have...

Mai:*breaks Grimmjow's nose*It's impolite to ask that!

Izuru:No manners, I swear! **katizo terusei:**

**Katizo: *tears of joy***

****

Charisei: *sighs* must you cry at weddings Kat?

Katizo: b-but it's so sweet!

Karahime: *waving like a retard* HI GIN-KUN!

Katizo: yes! you finally came to the dark side!

Karahime: yes. yes i did. and there are cookies over here!

Charisei: i knew you would join us eventually

Katizo: now all i need for this day to be awesomer is a spinny chair

*spinny chair pops out of nowhere*

Katizo:YAY! *spins in chair* *falls* ow! stupid chair! I will kill you! BANKAI! SINIZOKO LORANAME! *tornado appears*

*chair is destroyed*

Charisei: was that really necassary?

Katizo: uh-huh!

Karahime: but...nevermind

Katizo: *puppy dog eyes* it was necassary right Gaara?

Charisei: *sighs* no more energy drinks Kat

**Katizo: nooooo!**

Jushiro:Thanks again.

Gin:*gives an extra creepy smile*Hello there.

Gaara:*hits chair with a ton of sand*Completely necessary baby. And you can have as many energy drinks as you want!

Mai:I just barely noticed that a picture of Gaara shirtless you got! Very sexy!

Gaara:*blushes*Shut up Mai. **HurricaneDiablo:**

**Dante:hey mai you could train wth me but i'll be have to be reviving you more then 1000 times an if you do managed to surivive you will have to be severely hospitalitized and nice try with freezing time thing so many have tried and failed with that tactic but i'll train with you*throws sword into mai's gut* "Hell Nova!"*Mai blows up with no trace of her left* Told ya -_- *revives Mai* nice try though**

Mai:There is no fucking way I lost like that! No fucking way!

Amaya:Man, you need to chill foo! **LilyGirl101:**

**^_^ And sorry, Mai, but my Kinky CAN'T meet your Kinkie...she's in prison! ^_^ She's be escaping shortly, and I'll let you know! Oh no! Soi Fon broke up with Jow-chan! Oh, she should probably come to Zaki-chan's anger management class...oh, yeah, Zaki-chan's group is great! ^_^ He says I'm the best one there, besides him!**

**YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! Gin's coming on! Oh my gosh, he is like, the awesomest character EVER! *claps her hands* This is gonna be fun! Ohh, I know! ^_^ I'll give you a dare, Gin-chan...**

**So, dares this time: Mai-chan, I dare you to sing a random Justin Bieber song, and then walk up to him and scream "ILOVEYOUI'MYOURBIGGESTFAN!", kiss him, and then walk off. Bya-nii-chan, I dare you to watch pose for the Shinigami Women's Association! Jow-chan...I like you as my pet! ^_^ Keep it up! Ul-chan, I dare you to smile for a whole day. On the opposite end of the scale, Gin-chan, I dare you to frown for a whole day! Shiro-chan, I dare you to put your hand in a box of snakes, and don't take it out until this timer goes off. *sets timer for ten minutes* Have fun, ya'll! ^_^**

**Yay! Me and Shiro-chan are getting married! *gasp* So excited! I'm so happy! *starts laughing nervously* Damn, I'm nervous now... O.o**

**Signed with love and limons,**

**Lily-chan**

**P.S.-Along those lines, I have chosen the names Amarante, and Daisuke as the children's names! ^_^ Now all we have to do is wait for them to be born! *is excited* Only one chapter to go! :-D**

Amaya:Hell naa! As soon as that bitch gets out, we are getting down!

Soi Fon:So your the bitch!*pulls at Amaya's hair*

Amaya:What the fuck you, skank!*punches Soi Fon*

Mai:*breaks up the fight*

Grimmjow:*laughing*

Mai:oh woahh, oh woahh, oh woahhh

You know you love me  
I know you care  
And I would never, not be there  
You are my love  
You are my heart  
And we would never, ever, ever be apart

Are we an item?  
Girl quit playin'  
We're just friends,  
What are you sayin'  
Take another look right in my eyes  
My first love, broke my heart for the first time

And now I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I thought you'd always be mine

For you, I would have done whatever  
and no i can't believe we're not together  
And I'm gonn' play it cool  
While I'm losin you  
I'll buy you anything  
I'll buy you any ring  
Cause I'm in pieces  
so come fix me  
shake me til' you can wake me from this bad dream*  
I'm goin down, down, dooown

*everybody!*

Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby ohh  
I thought you'd always be mine

You can give me all of your love  
just this time it wont be enough  
Nobody told me this day would come  
Now I'm all gone  
You can give me all of your love  
just this time it wont be enough  
Nobody told me this day would come

I wa- I was like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I'm like  
Baby, baby, baby noo  
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

Yeahh, yeah, yeah  
Yeahh, yeah, yeah  
Yeahh, yeah, yeah  
Yeahh, yeah, yeah  
Yeahh, yeah, yeah  
Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, gone  
I'm gonee

Amaya:STUPID ASS BIEBER!

Mai:I FUCKIN HATE THAT BABY FACED BITCH!

Jushiro:Mai-chan... read the rest.

Mai:*goes yells at him and then kisses him and walks off cooly*EWW!*throws up*

Byakuya:But they'll attack me!*poses for Shinigami Association*

Grimmjow:*still being a pet*

Ulquiorra:*smiling*

Gin:*frowning*

Jushiro:Lily-chan! Do you want me to die?*cries and does dare*Ouch I got bit!

Mai&Kenpachi:*high five*

Mai:Our names got picked! **RainingSun:**

***Arrives at wedding and runs over to Lily-chan and Jushiro, hugs them both* Congratulations you two! Honto kawaii! :D Here, we made a wedding gift for you! *hands box* It's a box that transforms into whatever you want it to be, so you can pick your own prize! Enjoy!~ *hugs again and runs off* Lols I'm in a very huggable mood today, so deal with it. *runs around and hugs everyone, I mean Everyone at the wedding***

****

*Runs up to Gin* *o* SMILEY-CHAN! *hugs* Smiley-chan, I dare you to stop smiling, open your eyes and glare at everyone for two minutes. D *hugs again* Bai bai! *waves*

Hi! I dare Katsumi and Retsu to have a dance-off! Winner gets a hug from Kenny!

***Runs back to Izuru and hugs him* Come on Izu-kun let's go to the buffet table, they have free cake! *Yells as she's running off* BAI BAI! CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN!**

Jushiro:Thanks! Awesome gift. Thank you.

Gin:*hugs and doesn't let go*

Izuru:*gets Gin off*

Katsumi:Dance? It'll be easy against this old lady.

Retsu:Hmph!

Katsumi&Retsu:*dance off*

Mai:Captain Unohana, those moves are out dated! Katsumi has my vote!

Jushiro:Retsu! I like her moves.

Gin:Katsumi's moves were seductive!

Ulquiorra:Those moves were too provocative. Retsu.

Grimmjow:Katsumi.

Izuru:Retsu.

Mai:Kenpachi isn't allowed to vote. So you go, Amaya.

Amaya:Dammit! I'm nervous... Katsumi...

Kenpachi:Come here babe.*grabs her in a tight embrace and kisses roughly*

Retsu:There are children here!

Kenpachi:*ignores*

Jushiro:*pushes them into a closet in the church*Problem solved. We'll just get them when the ceremony begins. **Souygo no kotwari1012:**

**I see we are back on track, hopefully**

****

Grimmjow jr: *comes running in* I'M GONNA DIE, I'M GONNA DIE, I'M GONNA DIE, I'M GONNA DIE!

Me: *Looks over* *shoots with tazer* Calm down,

Grimmjow jr: But- but, THAT BASTARD *points at Gin* IS GONNA GET ME! I JUST KNOW IT!

Me: Why would that be?

Grimmjow jr: Well, I kinda beat him in a game of double or nothing poker and... he said i was goann get it when i least expect it *twidles thumbs*

Me: *glares at Gin* Lay a finger on him and you will die,

Wait, if Soi fon and Grimmjow are over... I DARE GRIMMJOW TO TAKE LOLY OR MENOLY TO THE WEDDING!

Why did Grimmjow break up with Soi fon anyway?

And i thought someone killed Cat in the hat jr? So how... does he have a kid?

Grimmjow jr: Shit happens,

Me: That's Mai's catch phrase, dip shit

Grimmjow jr: Dumb ass

Me: Filthy feline,

Grimmjow jr: Bitc-

Me: SAY IT AND YOU'LL DIE

Grimmjow jr: *sweatdrop* I have something to say, *points a pointyish pointy claw at Grimmjow* You give someone's child the name Arashi, AND YOU GIVE ME *&#&$ JR! WHAT THE HELL? *attacks Grimmjow*

Me: *attempts to shoot Jr with a tazer but hits Grimmjow by accident* *runs away quickly*

Chuck Norris Presents: QUESTION AND DARE TIME!

Grimmjow: I dare you to walk up to Chuck Norris and take his wallet

Mai: I dare you to switch Wedding clothes with Byakuya

Byakuya: I dare you to purposefully sabatoge Ichigo and Rukia's relationship

Jushiro: I dare you to bug Hitsugaya during the wedding, if he shows up.

Ulquiorra: I dare you to wear a Hot pink tuxedo to the wedding, with a pair of lime green shoes *hands over outfit* (have fun trying to get into it, it's an extra extra EXTRA small)

Ken-chan: I dare you to be quiet the whole wedding, don't say thing, and every time some one say your name you have to jump up and do the chicken dance. (This is pay back for therapy, making me quack every time some one said Cat in the hat or barney)

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the question and dare time away

You know who i haven't seen in a while? J.J. is he in some foreign land hearding llama's or something? Or is it that i'm to stupid to notice that he just doesn't wanna come anymore? On second thought, don't answer that last question.

Grimmjow jr: *comes back in a white tuxedo* Congratulations Lily-chan and Jushiro on both the child and the marraige, we wish you well *hands over present: Contents include two first class round trip tickets to Venice, Italy and Paris, France* *trying his best to hold a smile* Please enjoy your trip

Me: HA! IT WORKED! IT WORKED, IT WORKED, IT WORKED! *throws confetti* Like He said, have fun! And Congratulations!

Grimmjow jr: Before i forget, *points at grimmjow* Mom said child support is due, and it better be on time *walks away*

Quick fact about the teletubbies: After hours their names are Drinky winky, tipsy, taa taa, and ho :3

Chuck Norris: *roundhouse kicks Gin into outer space*

Jet Li: *Goes Kung foey on Ichigo and kicks his ass*

**Me: *sweatdrop* Didn't expect that, *slowly backs away* Well bye bye!*waves***

Mai:We aren't going to be able to update everyday of course, but yeah.

Gin:Man! Everyone seems so afraid of me!

Grimmjow:Grimmjow Jr. is a bomb ass name!*takes Chuck's wallet*

Mai:Alright.*changes clothes with Byakuya*

Byakuya:I'm glad you decided not to wear a dress! And I already am sabotaging their relationship.

Mai:Wait. Is it your fault they broke up in the first place?

Byakuya:NO!

Mai:Dammit Byakuya! I'm gonna back them up!

Byakuya:I am going to take them down!

Mai:Over my dead body!

Jushiro:Oh Shiro-chan!*goes to bug Toshiro*

Ulquiorra:*fits into the suit magically*Don't ask how I put it on...

Kenpachi:*goes quiet*

Mai:J.J. is on our grandpa's dairy farm, milking cows.

Jushiro:Why?

Mai:Because he likes it there!

Grimmjow:I'm going to pay it. Tell her to not trip and to give me a call some time... **Heir of Schiffer:**

**Yay, I'm Kenny's favorite for fighting! See, Grimmjow, you are dumb, you could barely pass a spelling test! Mai, you're ok, cuz you aren't some extremely well known character in an anime.**

And Shiro-san, if you get that emotional about a damn cat, I don't want to even THINK about how you'll react at your wedding tomorrow.

Yeah, Chad, I'm stronger than Kenny. If he'd just learn his Zanpakutou's name, he would give me the fight of my frickin life! You should get working on that!

Mai:Kenpachi says that you are a kick ass fighter.

Grimmjow:C- is good!

Mai:I'm not good at spelling, but I do pretty decently in math! I don't like letters...

Jushiro:I am remarkably calm right now actually.

Mai:Kenpachi said that he doesn't need his zanpakuto to win fights.

Kenpachi:*does chicken dance*

Mai:I almost forgot about that! Anyway time to start the church thingy.

Byakuya:*is the priest*We are here today to join these two in marriage.*go through vows and all the other stuff*Do you, Jushiro Ukitake, take Lily as your wife?

Jushiro:*crying and shaking his crazily*Yes!

Byakuya:Do you, Lily, take Jushiro Ukitake as your husband?

Lily:Yes.

Byakuya:Are there any objects that these two, totally in love, people should not be together? No, you don't count, Renji. No? I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.

Jushiro:*kisses Lily*

Byakuya:Let the festivities begin!

Mai:Wohoo! Yeah!

J.J.:Congrats you two!

Jushiro:You made it!

J.J.:Yup. I had to see you off, man.

Mai:Cut the cake.

Jushiro:*cuts cake with Lily*

Mai:*takes pictures*

*party goes on very late at night*

Jushiro:I guess I'll be off then. *gets in limo*

Mai:End of chapter! Bye everyone!*cries*


	39. Bonus Chapter

Mai:Hi! Randomly added chapter!

Jushiro:As a thank for your patience this whole time while the authoress was handling some stuff...

Mai:We'll give you a look into Kenpachi's anger management classes!

Kenpachi:Its not only for anger management. It's also for depressed people, crazy people and people who hate themselves. Looks like we have a few absentees. What a surprise. Eddy, Lily's brother, Lily, and I forget the rest.

Mai:THESE CLASSES ARE BORING! I DON'T LIKE THEM!*tries to claw through the door*

Kenpachi:And you ask me why you have to come Mai. Really.

Jushiro:Lily is resting up at the moment, so she isn't going to be here today.

Mai:More like you forced her!

Kenpachi:Mai, shut up.

Komamura:You are an instigator.

Mai:And you're a little doggie.

Komamura:*hugs a pillow*

Kenpachi:Lets tell the nice people why you are here.

Group:Okay.

Kenpachi:Mai, you start.

Mai:Well you are here because you teach us.

Kenpachi:Not me! You are supposed to say why you're here. Tell us your first burst of rage.

Mai:It was when I was fourteen. At that age I was like Hanatoro 'cept worse.

Grimmjow:*shudders*I can just imagine you.

Mai:*glare*I didn't care though. One morning I was eating my coco puffs all peaceful and quiet and Eddy called me a disgusting animal for no reason. I cried for a bit until I got really pissed. I grabbed everything and broke things that are very unbreakable. I worked out, dieted, all that fun stuff. I got all strong and stuff. I decided I wasn't gonna take shit from nobody. I don't give a damn if you're a baby or little kid, like Yachiru, or you're a senile old bastard. I will rip your tongue out if you are a jackass and actually try and fuck with me. Or if I just don't like you.

Kenpachi:*writes _incurable _on Mai's picture*

Grimmjow:Is that why there are absolutely no photos of you when you were a kid?

Mai:Yup! That and there were no pictures to begin with.

Kenpachi:And you?

Grimmjow:Me what?

Kenpachi:Why are you here and what was your first time?

Grimmjow:I dunno why I'm here. I'm pretty sure it has to do with anger and my first time... thats a little personal.*looks at Mai*Ain't it?

Mai:The hell would I know!

Kenpachi:Not when you lost it moron. Your first time getting so pissed, you exploded with it.

Grimmjow:Ohhh! K. I think I was born this pissed off.

Jushiro:Most likely. My turn!

Kenpachi:Go ahead.

Jushiro:My first time getting really really angry was Mai's very first day of work. She came and I greeted her. It went like this. Me:Hello, you must be a new member.  
Mai:I don't think thats any of your business.  
Me:*I laughed it off*You don't understand. I am your captain.  
Mai:You don't understand! I don't give a fuck who you are! I know who you are. I don't need you in my business.  
Me:You do realize I am your superior.  
Mai:Are you calling me stupid? I know!  
*She was right in my face when yelling this*  
Me:You are sure acting like it! This isn't the hood so stop acting like it you spoiled, ghetto brat! And quit with the attitude.  
She puched me in the face and we got in a fist fight. She won but we ended up in the detention cell together. We got into more fights. She kept slapping me and I yelled at her and pulled her hair. She made me really mad. They wouldn't let us out until we resolved our differences. We talked it out at the third day. Now we are the best of friends.

Mai:Yeah! Good times!

J.J.:I thought you guys were always friends! And Jushiro, I never knew you could get in a fist fight.

Jushiro:I didn't either. Until I met her. The reason I am here is because I let my anger out at the wrong place and at the wrong time.

Mai:Is there really a place where its appropriate?

Kenpachi:No and you guys here to learn just that.

Mai:Does that mean we get to have brownies and leave early!

Kenpachi:No.

Mai:Damn!

Grimmjow:Give us some fucking brownies already! Thats the only reason we come!

Kenpachi:Would you rather my fucking sword slice through you?

J.J.:No we want some fucking brownies!

Kenpachi:Shut it you damned brat!

Jushiro:This is why he shouldn't be a therapist.

Kenpachi:Did you say something you freakin' weirdo!

Jushiro:*smacks Kenpachi*ALL OF YOU STOP FIGHTING!

Mai:Jeez, Shiro-kun. You really need help.

Kenpachi:Everyone give a memory of extreme emotion.

Mai:I'm pretty sure for you, Kenny, is when you watched Barney.

Kenpachi:Not me moron! Yourself!

Mai:Oh okay. It starts like this. I decided to take a walk in Las Noches. No good reason, just bored, ya know?

Grimmjow:Haha. No.

Mai:Anyway, I hear weird noises in one of the Espada's room. It sounded like a guy in pain so, being the nosy chisimosa I am, I walked in and saw-

Kenpachi:Chismosa means nosy person right.

Mai:Yes. I walked in and saw Syzeal taking it in the ass from Nnoitra! Single most terrifying moment of my life.

Grimmjow:I'm next. It was when Aizen tried to rape me!

Mai:You blame Aizen for everything, Grimmjow.

Grimmjow:Because its always his fault! Why do you think there is only one girl in the espada! And why is it that he has gay guys? Because he wants us to get raped! Its like prison with very few female officers!

Kenpachi:Grimmjow, please don't continue. Jushiro, your turn.

Jushiro:When I found out I was going to have a child. I was extremely happy. Popcorn! I pick Komamura!

Komamura:This happened during the war against Aizen. I had gone against Tousen and when he could finally see me, he called me hideous! I experienced extreme sadness!

Grimmjow:Get over it.

Mai:You're being mean, Grimmjow.

Grimmjow:You are being slutty!

Mai:*choking Grimmjow*

Grimmjow:*pulling Mai's hair*

J.J.:*biting Grimmjow's leg*

Jushiro:Stop this right now!*puts everyone in separate corners of the room*Write,"I will not fight while therapy is in session" 100 times.

Grimmjow:How about I shove my foot up your ass, little bitch!

Jushiro:*whacks him with the sheath of his sword*Thanks to the fluffy kitty here, 1000 times!

Everyone:Grimmjow!

Mai:*throws pencil out of the window*Whoopsie! Gotta get my pencil.*goes out*

Kenpachi:*sees Mai skipping away into the sunset with the brownies*Jushiro did you-

Jushiro:Stop talking and start writing!

Kenpachi:Bu-

Jushiro:Write! No one is allowed to leave until they are all finished!

All:*write*

J.J.:Stupid Mai. For being so damn clever. Stupid Jushiro. For acting like a teacher. You guys, I don't want go to school now!

Jushiro:Say something?

J.J.:No! I'm good!

Jushiro:Where is Mai?

Kenpachi:I was trying to say that she skipped into the sunset with all my damn brownies that it took a long time and a lot of effort to make!

All:WHAT!*run after Mai*

Mai:*eating very last brownie*

Kenpachi:Fat ass!

Mai:What did I say about that?*grabs his tongue and tries to rip it out*

Jushiro:No! Bad Mai!*sprays water on her*Bad bad Mai!

Mai:I'm drowning!

J.J.:I'll save you!

Mai:Too late! I'm dead.*falls on floor*

J.J.:NOO! She owned me fifty dollars! NUUU!

Jushiro:Thats how our daily sessions go pretty much. All the time it ends like this. Thanks for stopping by.

Grimmjow:Shut up Mr. Rogers! I'm trying to find out how to spell 'session'!

J.J.:I can't believe you are still writing those.

Grimmjow:And I've finished number one!

Mai:Thank you readers for your patience. You all get brownies! Bye, and join our next chapter of craziness!


	40. Final Chapter

Mai:Hi everyone. Sorry to give you a false alarm and making you believe this was a new chapter after what, a couple a months? I don't think we'll be continuing the Q&A. I just don't have it in me anymore... I might try and keep going, but I don't know. I'm very sorry everyone. I'd like to thank Dan M.00, LilyGirl101, pinkfire101, The Moogle Shinigami, katizo terusei, HanakoAnimeaddict, Souygo no kotowari1012, infinite madness, HurricaneDiablo, o.O-Immy-chan-O.o, RainingSun, KuroEqualsBitch,lunarprincess21, Ashcat13, DancingInTheRain03, segunda etapa, Heir of Schiffer, quietlyintheshadows, kisari, and last but not least ultima-owner for reviewing. I'm sorry that some of you guys weren't able to be put in the story and if I missed you name in the thank-yous. I especially want to thank Dan M.000 for being my very first reviewer and LilyGirl101 as well. Both you guys have stuck with us to the very end. Good-bye everyone.


End file.
